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Oleksandra | she/her | from Ukraine 🥮 | ••••• draw my fav kids | https://ko-fi.com/ruushinynerve https://cara.app/ruushinynerve

[ruushinynerve]

To me, creating fma fanarts is just a hundred ways to wrap Ed in a warm blanket and say "everyone loves you":)

Except for Hohenheim, he can lie down and die, asshole. Sorry to everyone who likes him, he's a jerk to me tho.

[ruushinynerve]

I have a lot of unfinished pieces and a few practice drawings that I'm currently working on. At the same time, I'm watching tutorial videos on animation and stuff (if only it could help me). I also have a bunch of bookmarks with language lessons that I haven't opened in a while. I should have.

[ruushinynerve]

My family is encouraging me to move to another country. There are several reasons, one of which is no less important - war. I'm very afraid of it. I have doubts, and I constantly think about all the pros and cons. It seems to me that at any moment I will give up and stay at home, because it will be difficult, and I'll have to part with my cat for an indefinite period. You should know that my cat and I are one. I cannot imagine my days without him. He is like my shadow.

And yet, it is not only about that. I have so many doubts, one more terrible than the other. And I simply do not believe that I have enough strength to cope with all this.

Eventually, I sincerely don't want to leave my country. Yes, it's dangerous here, and it seems like nothing will get better, but despite everything, I am not a stranger here. It's mine.

I feel so lost.

[ruushinynerve]

There are a few things I hate with all my heart — consumerism, ai, imperialism and its modern forms, white cis pseudo-religious men.

Like, you can't even exist on your own anymore without monetizing the oxygen in your lungs and counting the cost of your steps.

Like, you know religion has always been a tool of power. It has never been about morality and salvation. And men love any tools of power because they tremble with fear of being weak.

Should I say anything about our glorious modern empires? It's sickening.

Can we just breathe? No, we can't. Our Earth is dying and we don't even notice how fast.

[ruushinynerve]

I've just finished watching the new show "Interview with the Vampire" and my friend is still racking her brains over it. We couldn't help but discuss how and why the three red flags love and destroy each other. It was truly an ao3 fanfic on screen.

[ruushinynerve]

stay kids

[ruushinynerve]

a piece of chimera au wip

[ruushinynerve]

I just imagined how Ed and Al could have had their normal childhood if what happened hadn't happened :(

[ruushinynerve]

Sending hugs!🫂 It's tough, but you'll persevere💙💛

Thank you 🥺, I hope we all will

[ruushinynerve]

I feel a little dead inside, but keep drawing smiles. Every day I go through deep disappointment with this world and my own life. I have no idea how to deal with this. I mean, look around, it's insanity out there. In my country, there is a popular joke about mood — "pomyral'na yama" (a burial pit).

Well, just whining for a second.

[ruushinynerve]

guess who :)

[ruushinynerve]

I'm currently reading "The Perks of Being a Wallflower". Such a soft and gentle book. Charlie is such a naive, kind boy. I love him. And his taste in music. He's a cinnamon roll.

[ruushinynerve]

I've finished the book and it made me feel so light and soft like a little kitten))

And also, if you are fed up with cynicism, intrigue, lies, over-the-top wisdom, arrogant and overly intelligent people, you should read this book.

[ruushinynerve]

I'm currently reading "The Perks of Being a Wallflower". Such a soft and gentle book. Charlie is such a naive, kind boy. I love him. And his taste in music. He's a cinnamon roll.

[ruushinynerve]

There's a warm warm blanket and lovely brothers on New Year's Eve🎄

[ruushinynerve]

Take a look what I did! There are xmas tree decorations - harry potter keys.

My lazy backside made something and I'm a little proud of myself (really unproductive months, I literally did nothing the whole time and feel a lot of guilt).

[ruushinynerve]

a little ear

I did this piece before my escapism phase. I thought it was time for me to try a new brush and it works in more traditional way (my academic years, here you go, I never had enough time to really learn it bc it was never an acceptable time for any learning, honestly) so it's good for my fossilized skills.

[ruushinynerve]

I'm currently going through a winter melancholy with a deep escapism in Merlin fanfics (the reason why I still wake up in the morning, haha). I'm doing my best not to think about the future and other unpleasant things, and it's paralyzing me from drawing even for myself (my oldest hobby, for me it's truly the last loss of myself), because I feel a wild fear of any action and exhaustion from the very thought. Also there are nightmares. The next day they become ludicrous (still a little creepy), even though at that moment they aren't. I'm used to these episodes of apathy but they always come unexpectedly. I hope it won't take too long this time.

by the way, this is me when I'm really happy doing what I love