w a n d e r l u s t;

plotting w/ hayley like

#I love it so much!!!!

quietexterior-deactivated201706

Visit Original Link

You saw my pain washed out in the rain Broken glass, saw the blood run from my veins But you saw no fault, no cracks in my heart And you knelt beside my hope torn apart

Let go. Alex can feel the heavy weight in her arms, relief and comfort wrapping around them both for only as long as Piper would allow it. I slept with your ghost every night, she wants to whisper, an admission of her own guilt. I tore you apart and threw you to the wolves. Her lover is still and she’s so warm and for just a second Alex can pretend that things weren’t torn to pieces, that they’re ten years younger and haven’t been broken. A fleeting memory is all she’s left with. Rough hands are pushing her away, denying the affection they both so desperately need. “Why?” Alex counters abruptly, pushing. “You’re so afraid of being weak that you have to be a monster, but this isn’t you.” Three steps for every two, enduring the endless chess match of their relationship. Her hands cradle around the column of Piper’s neck, fingers stroking warmth and a building rage. “Come back to me,“ Alex repeats, forcing Piper to meet her eyes. She’s daring, begging, seeking anger and violence. Anything except an empty shell and lifeless words. “I’m not going anywhere.” I love you.

Push and push and push. Alex is good at that. Her words wash over Piper but they don’t break through the surface. They’re just sick sounds further proving to Piper that Alex is better off without her. Addiction has always plagued her ex and that’s all Piper is – poison. She wants to scoff, to tell Alex that this is exactly who she is but instead she eyes her like there’s something wrong with her.

What can’t be stopped is the soft sigh that falls from her lips at the touch of Alex’s fingertips on her neck. Weak. Her bones want to collapse, her muscles want to melt. Her lips want to meet Alex’s and she wants to remember the sleekness of her black hair tangled around her fingers.

It’s true, Piper knows it. Alex won’t leave. She can’t stop it. Her shaking hands find their way to Alex’s waist, careful not to touch the scar, and she leans into familiar lips. It’s not release – it’s further digging herself down into darkness. But she can’t stop it. She can’t stop it like she couldn’t stop her fists from smashing into Pennsatucky’s face again and again and again. The moment their bodies touch, she grips harder, slides her tongue into Alex’s warm mouth. Her hands are in her hair, gliding down her back, touching her shoulders, sliding down the length of her arms but never touching the scar.

And then it happens. She starts to cry. Hot, fresh tears roll down her cheeks and her chest starts to feel swollen. There’s a gash somewhere inside her – an invisible one that she can’t patch up. But she doesn’t stop kissing Alex.

It’s not broken. Alex expects unrelenting wrath for not giving Piper her way. She expects blind fury, more harsh words to cut her to the bone. It’s what she’d deserve for not giving up. What she gets instead are anxious hands enveloping her body, tentative as if she were made of glass. A surge of need pulls her into a waiting kiss and she feels like she’s walking through fire with Piper leading the way. And Alex -- helpless to resist, would happily burn right alongside her lover. Raw emotion overwhelms her with each kiss. Nothing about this is sexy, but then, it isn’t supposed to be. It’s the wall crumbling down, the fog being lifted, a reminder to Piper that blood still courses through her veins and her heart is still beating. They’re still alive -- they survived. Alex holds onto Piper so tightly, afraid to let go, afraid to break the spell. Wet, warm tears sting her face and her heart swells. There’s so much to fix. “I know,” Alex finally murmurs when she stops to breathe. I won’t let go. “We’re okay.” Soft lips drag along Piper's, trailing along her jawline before ghosting over the shell of her ear. She savors every touch as if it would truly be the last. "I missed you so much."

#v: worst behavior

#;runaways #lmao

chocolateandvanillaswirlswirl

#;flesh and bone

Breathe out, so I can breathe you in.

torismusicbox

Visit Original Link

So tell me now, where was my fault In loving you with my whole heart

rxckabilly:

A spark. Anger. Disgust. For a brief second it’s there and it’s something Alex can hold onto. Hate. Fear. Love. They’re there and they’re gone, as if squeezing them out is the only way Piper can hold onto herself. It’s loneliness and heartbreak and there’s so much Alex wants to say– needs to say, but can’t find the words. Piper is consumed by fire, so far gone that she’s become a shell of herself and there’s nothing Alex can do to ease that now. I fucked her. She wasn’t you. I wanted to. She wasn’t you. “She fucked you.” Callous meets callous and Alex stands her ground, taking three steps for every two Piper takes. It’s a game now, furthering the stand-off; it’s the only thing she knows that will push Piper back into her corner. “She fucked you like I fucked you.” Shock takes a turn, twists it into something more selfish and pulls a sinister smirk to her face. With her back against the sink, she’s left to vulnerable to Piper’s fury and she doesn’t care. Love and betrayal. “I’ve faced meaner demons than you. You think you scare me?” Her hand shoots to the hem of her smock, drawing it up to reveal the deep scar over her hip. “Take your best fucking shot, Piper.”

The silence has claws and they scratch at Piper’s throat. It’s done. Alex can walk away now and Piper can crumple alone. Except it isn’t done and Alex is still fucking standing there and Piper has to hold herself together. She can’t help but look up to check her reaction. There’s a flare of hurt that Piper holds onto, ready to dig the wedge in deeper when determination glazes over Alex’s eyes and ties a knot in Piper’s stomach. She’s seen that look before. She’s seen it when Piper venomously claimed that she loves her and she fucking hates her. Shock, hurt, determination.

You can fight fire with fire. But what if we’re both burning?

And there it is – their intimacy thrown back into Piper’s face. She deserves it. Alex needs to hit harder, make her pay. She needs more – she needs the Alex that slapped her in the library, that called her a manipulative cunt.

But then Alex lifts up her shirt. A red and purple gash is splayed along her hip – right where Piper’s smiling lips had kissed too many times to count. Her heartbeat thumps monstrously, lurching in her throat. I’ve faced meaner demons than you. Piper wishes she could die. Right here. She is Alex’s demon. Alex would not have been attacked if it hadn’t been for her ignorance. Piper is the meanest demon of them all.

She starts to bite down on her tongue. There’s nothing left to say. She needs Alex to go. The thin, metallic taste of blood sloshes around in her mouth. Bile stings her throat. Fuck fuck fuck. The two spoons of oatmeal she’d eaten that day start to wriggle their way up and she has to spin around to the shower drain and let it out. Pale chunks and pink blood are hurled from her throat. She’s so fucking weak. ‘Alex———-‘ the name tastes like vomit now. ‘Go.’

It’s precisely the jarring reaction she hopes for. Something that can draw Piper out, make her feel human. Terror and pain plagues them both but there’s a deeper desperation in her lover’s eyes that Alex wants to ease away with her touch. She had waited so long for this and she had been patient– Alex punched death in the mouth and ran, she exorcised herself in isolation, and this war would not end with Piper dangling off the edge. They’ve both come too far for it to go up in flames. “I am still here.” Her words come out firmly, unwavering. She won’t move unless Piper moves her. She won’t back down until Piper backs down. “It feels fucking horrible, doesn’t it?” Green eyes bore holes into her lover’s back as she retches, as she feels. “Being so lonely you wish you’d died. Praying for it, and hating yourself because you were spared to live another miserable day inside your own head.”

Weak, fragile. Defiance. Alex finally moves from her perch against the sink, standing so close behind Piper she can feel her ragged breaths against her chest. “But I’m still here.” Her voice drops low and her arms encircle Piper’s waist without asking, without warning. Taming the lion. “Come back to me.”

How can Alex even speak to her like this? There’s something warm and forgiving in her voice that Piper wants to wrap her hands around and kill. It’s unraveling her and she can’t afford to be unraveled. Being so lonely you wish you’d died. Because of her. It’s all her fault. How can she not see that?

But I’m still here. She shouldn’t be. It was Piper who wielded the knife that dug into Alex’s hip. The weight of her guilt is firm and heavy on her back.

Alex’s arms slide around her and she wishes they were knives. In a moment of weakness, Piper allows her heavy lids to fall shut, the word home popping into her head. You don’t have a home. Her hands grab Alex’s wrists – her mind desperately trying to block out the softness of her skin – and she pushes with all her might. Panic. She’s facing Alex now, her arms folded in front of her chest.

‘Don’t do that. Don’t touch me. Please.’ The last word comes out a little cracked.

Let go. Alex can feel the heavy weight in her arms, relief and comfort wrapping around them both for only as long as Piper would allow it. I slept with your ghost every night, she wants to whisper, an admission of her own guilt. I tore you apart and threw you to the wolves. Her lover is still and she’s so warm and for just a second Alex can pretend that things weren’t torn to pieces, that they’re ten years younger and haven’t been broken. A fleeting memory is all she’s left with. Rough hands are pushing her away, denying the affection they both so desperately need. "Why?” Alex counters abruptly, pushing. “You’re so afraid of being weak that you have to be a monster, but this isn’t you.” Three steps for every two, enduring the endless chess match of their relationship. Her hands cradle around the column of Piper’s neck, fingers stroking warmth and a building rage. “Come back to me,“ Alex repeats, forcing Piper to meet her eyes. She’s daring, begging, seeking anger and violence. Anything except an empty shell and lifeless words. “I’m not going anywhere.” I love you.

#v: worst behavior

sebastianzabini-blog

Visit Original Link

You were the antidote that got me by Something strong like a drug that got me high

why does tumblr want everything to look ugly so bad

its bc we bullied john green

rxckabilly:

A spark. Anger. Disgust. For a brief second it’s there and it’s something Alex can hold onto. Hate. Fear. Love. They’re there and they’re gone, as if squeezing them out is the only way Piper can hold onto herself. It’s loneliness and heartbreak and there’s so much Alex wants to say– needs to say, but can’t find the words. Piper is consumed by fire, so far gone that she’s become a shell of herself and there’s nothing Alex can do to ease that now. I fucked her. She wasn’t you. I wanted to. She wasn’t you. “She fucked you.” Callous meets callous and Alex stands her ground, taking three steps for every two Piper takes. It’s a game now, furthering the stand-off; it’s the only thing she knows that will push Piper back into her corner. “She fucked you like I fucked you.” Shock takes a turn, twists it into something more selfish and pulls a sinister smirk to her face. With her back against the sink, she’s left to vulnerable to Piper’s fury and she doesn’t care. Love and betrayal. “I’ve faced meaner demons than you. You think you scare me?” Her hand shoots to the hem of her smock, drawing it up to reveal the deep scar over her hip. “Take your best fucking shot, Piper.”

The silence has claws and they scratch at Piper’s throat. It’s done. Alex can walk away now and Piper can crumple alone. Except it isn’t done and Alex is still fucking standing there and Piper has to hold herself together. She can’t help but look up to check her reaction. There’s a flare of hurt that Piper holds onto, ready to dig the wedge in deeper when determination glazes over Alex’s eyes and ties a knot in Piper’s stomach. She’s seen that look before. She’s seen it when Piper venomously claimed that she loves her and she fucking hates her. Shock, hurt, determination.

You can fight fire with fire. But what if we’re both burning?

And there it is – their intimacy thrown back into Piper’s face. She deserves it. Alex needs to hit harder, make her pay. She needs more – she needs the Alex that slapped her in the library, that called her a manipulative cunt.

But then Alex lifts up her shirt. A red and purple gash is splayed along her hip – right where Piper’s smiling lips had kissed too many times to count. Her heartbeat thumps monstrously, lurching in her throat. I’ve faced meaner demons than you. Piper wishes she could die. Right here. She is Alex’s demon. Alex would not have been attacked if it hadn’t been for her ignorance. Piper is the meanest demon of them all.

She starts to bite down on her tongue. There’s nothing left to say. She needs Alex to go. The thin, metallic taste of blood sloshes around in her mouth. Bile stings her throat. Fuck fuck fuck. The two spoons of oatmeal she’d eaten that day start to wriggle their way up and she has to spin around to the shower drain and let it out. Pale chunks and pink blood are hurled from her throat. She’s so fucking weak. ‘Alex———-‘ the name tastes like vomit now. ‘Go.’

#v: worst behavior #im so sick of tumblr's bullshit

It’s precisely the jarring reaction she hopes for. Something that can draw Piper out, make her feel human. Terror and pain plagues them both but there’s a deeper desperation in her lover’s eyes that Alex wants to ease away with her touch. She had waited so long for this and she had been patient-- Alex punched death in the mouth and ran, she exorcised herself in isolation, and this war would not end with Piper dangling off the edge. They’ve both come too far for it to go up in flames. “I am still here.” Her words come out firmly, unwavering. She won’t move unless Piper moves her. She won’t back down until Piper backs down. “It feels fucking horrible, doesn’t it?” Green eyes bore holes into her lover’s back as she retches, as she feels. “Being so lonely you wish you’d died. Praying for it, and hating yourself because you were spared to live another miserable day inside your own head.”

Weak, fragile. Defiance. Alex finally moves from her perch against the sink, standing so close behind Piper she can feel her ragged breaths against her chest. “But I’m still here.” Her voice drops low and her arms encircle Piper’s waist without asking, without warning. Taming the lion. “Come back to me.”

ohbeauregard

orange is the new black

piper & alex. season 2, episode 10: little mustachioed shit.

heewhee-deactivated20160130

Visit Original Link

heewhee:

The woman that I would try is happy with a good guy But I’ve been drinking so much that I’ma call her anyway and say “Fuck that nigga that you love so bad I know you still think about the times we had”