Do not go where the path may lead,

Ryan Welsh. Twenty-five and living in the city of Chicago. I'm usually busy reading or writing, but I can always make time for people with a good story to tell. “Is it so bad, then, to be misunderstood? Pythagoras was misunderstood, and Socrates, and Jesus, and Luther, and Copernicus, and Galileo, and Newton, and every pure and wise spirit that ever took flesh. To be great is to be misunderstood.” ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

[ryanwelshs]

F2F ⇆  004

chicagohaynes​:

Parker’s smile only grew wider as he saw Ryan match his grin, truly unable to believe that he managed to snag someone as hot as his neighbor was. The idea that the two of them were something that was more serious than just casual, and possibly even a monogamous thing, hadn’t hit Parker just yet but he was growing into the idea more and more, especially if that meant they could fuck around and Ryan didn’t feel guilty, or whatever it was he felt when they got each other off in the past. He didn’t like the idea of Ryan being with anyone else, as his time with Aiden made Parker realize, and Parker honestly wasn’t interested in fucking anyone else and hadn’t had the urge to in months. Parker guessed that was because he had feelings for Ryan, or whatever.

As he felt Ryan’s fingers make their way through his hair and heard the soft words he was speaking, Parker bit down onto his bottom lip and started to unbutton and unzip Ryan’s jeans. The way Ryan spoke to him wasn’t something he was used to hearing, and it was definitely going to take a while to fully understand and believe what Ryan was saying to and about him. It was hard to believe at times, but he knew Ryan wasn’t a liar, as he always told Parker the truth, whether or not he wanted to hear it.

“You can pull at my hair if you wanna, once I get going,” Parker admitted, a sly smirk pulling up his lips as he looked up at the other male, wanting him to know that Parker didn’t mind if Ryan was a little bit rough with him. He had a feeling Ryan didn’t mind either, considering the last time they fooled around. It would be incredibly hard for Parker to forget the way Ryan spanked his ass like he most definitely had done so before with someone else. Though, if he didn’t, that was even hotter to Parker, that could pull that out of him.

Once Parker pushed down Ryan’s jeans to his ankles, he leaned forward and dragged his tongue over the other male’s boxer briefs, up and along Ryan’s cock, all the while moaning like he was begging for it. “I think about this all the fuckin’ time, Ryan,” Parker said softly, looking up at him through his eyelashes once again. “You get me moanin’ for you when you’re not even around,” he added as he slowly pulled down Ryan’s underwear, his breathing becoming labored at the sight of Ryan’s dick. “You don’t know how many fuckin’ times I’ve jerked off to the thought of you.” With that said, Parker grabbed ahold of the base of Ryan’s dick so he could drag his tongue along him, the same way he did before but without anything between his mouth and Ryan. “You even taste fuckin’ good,” Parker commented, still looking up at Ryan before closing his eyes and wrapping his lips around him, quickly taking half of his dick into his mouth and moaning at the feeling of Ryan’s dick heavy on his tongue.

Parker had mentioned countless times that he was talented in the bedroom, and when they first hooked up back in February, Ryan realized that his neighbor wasn’t all talk. It’d be a lie to say he hadn’t thought about how Parker’s mouth had felt around him that night and while Ryan’s emotions could sometimes cloud his judgement, he knew without doubt that Parker was the most talented man in the bedroom that he’d ever been with. He only wished he’d had the chance to sit down first because if this blowjob was anything like the last, Ryan wasn’t sure how long his legs would be able to support him.

His heart raced at Parker’s comment about his hair and one look at that sly smirk on his face showed that Parker knew exactly what he was doing. It was one thing to be flirted with by Parker, but actually seeing him in action was like nothing Ryan had ever experienced before, and he couldn’t wait to see what else the man had to offer without having to deal with the guilt the morning after the way he had before.

“Noted,” Ryan breathed out, playfully tugging at Parker’s hair before he even got started.

Ryan’s thighs were nearly trembling as Parker pushed his jeans down, his breath hitching as Parker licked at his cock through the fabric, the man moaning as if he was the one being touched. “Parker,” he breathed out, not expecting the other man to speak to him the way he was, especially considering just minutes ago they were agreeing to an attempt at being exclusive, though it shouldn’t have surprised him that it didn’t take long for Parker to go from that to telling Ryan all about the times he had touched himself to the thought of him. He’d always known that Parker had wanted him and found him attractive, but the thought of the other man thinking about him as he got himself off was almost too much for Ryan to handle, especially considering he wasn’t exactly innocent of doing that either.

A sharp gasp escaped his lips as Parker took his cock in his hand, the feeling of his warm tongue along the length sending a thrill through Ryan’s entire body. As soon as Parker took him into his mouth, a soft moan fell from Ryan’s lips, his eyes fluttering shut as his grip in Parker’s hair tightened.

“I’ve thought about you too.”

[ryanwelshs]

chicagohaynes​:

F2F ⇆  004

Parker let out a strangled moan as Ryan dug his nails into his ass, and if Ryan kept it up, Parker was going to be painfully hard and close to having blue balls in a matter of minutes. He loved foreplay, there was no question about that, but usually it happened when all of Parker’s clothes were already off and a painful zipper on his jeans were pressing against his cock. But he honestly was trying his best to take things slow, and believe or not, making out with someone and practically grinding up on them was taking things slow for Parker.

He was hoping for the best, which would be the both of the getting naked, but he was preparing for the worst, which, in contrast, would be them stopping and having to cool down. Parker meant it when he said he wanted to be with Ryan, romantically, and only with him and he wanted to make that clear. He would just be real disappointed if Ryan wanted them to stop.

Hearing Ryan say no made Parker’s dick twitch, not just because it meant Ryan didn’t want to slow down either, but because of how low and how breathless Ryan’s voice was. Parker seriously could get used to hearing him sound like that, and being the reason he sounded like that. “Fuck yes,” Parker breathed out quickly, a grin slowly pulling up his lips before getting out of Ryan’s lap and grabbing his hand, gently tugging on it to get the show on the road, and onto his bed.

The second they were in Parker’s room, Parker dropped down to his knees in front of Ryan and looked up at him through his eyelashes, his lips parted as he tried to catch his breath. “Can’t believe this is all mine,” Parker said in awe, his lips curving up into a smirk as his hands made their way to Ryan’s thighs, the palm of his hands rubbing up and down the thick muscles. “You’re one hell of a man, baby.”

Ryan tried not to make assumptions about people, but he really would have been surprised if Parker didn’t take him up on the suggestion to move into the bedroom. It probably wasn’t the best choice for someone who wanted to try to take things slow, but Ryan knew just how poor his decision-making skills could be whenever things got heated with Parker, not that he regretted anything they’d done before. At times he thought he had, but looking back now, he wouldn’t change anything they’d done together. There wasn’t a thing about Parker he’d ever want to change. His face broke into a grin as Parker got up and grabbed him by the hand to lead him to his room. He knew it was only a short walk, but he could definitely get used to holding Parker’s hand in the future if he let him. Parker continued to surprise him by dropping to his knees, something that really shouldn’t have surprised Ryan at this point, yet there it was. His heart raced in anticipation, his smile growing as Parker commented on Ryan being all his. As Parker rubbed his thighs through his jeans, Ryan moved his hand to tangle in the other man’s hair, wanting to touch him in whatever way he could. 

“I could say the same about you,” he replied, his voice soft as his fingers gently massaged at the top of Parker’s head.

[chicagohaynes]

F2F ⇆  004

[ryanwelshs]

chicagohaynes‌:

Parker moaned low in his throat in approval as he felt Ryan’s teeth against his neck, making Parker tilt his head to the side so Ryan could have complete access to his neck and do whatever the fuck he wanted to it. Parker absolutely loved foreplay, and it was blowing his mind that Ryan was figuring that out so quickly, even if he was pretty sure Ryan didn’t consider this foreplay, but just making out. Maybe they were just going to make out on Parker’s couch but with the way Ryan was attacking his neck, there was no fucking way his crush was planning on keeping their night PG-13. Well, he hoped he wasn’t. Parker honestly respected Ryan enough to stop if he wanted to stop, but he would need a cold shower real quick before they continued their night. Even though he much rather have Ryan get his hands on him first, without any clothes on. But that much was obvious.

Parker let out an embarrassingly high moan as he felt Ryan’s teeth pull and bite at his ear then proceed to whisper into Parker’s ear. “Fuck, man,” he gasped, his hips bucking forward against Ryan again, “I love kissing you too. Could get real used to this.” If you told him that Ryan was going to do the things to Parker that he was currently doing the second after Parker told him he wanted them to be monogamous, he would say you’re goddamn crazy. He for sure was not going to comment on it though, even if he could find the words, because there was no way he wanted Ryan to stop putting his mouth wherever he could reach. Parker really wanted to touch Ryan more, but it was getting harder and harder, in every way possible, to do anything but moan and gasp and enjoy the moment. He was more than happy to let Ryan do anything and everything he wanted to do to him, anyways.

As Ryan’s hands found their way to Parker’s ass, Parker had the sudden urge to kiss Ryan and show him just how much he appreciated the new movement. Once both of his cheeks were being grab at, Parker ducked his head down and gently pulled at Ryan’s hair so he could connect their mouths into a wet, open mouthed kiss. It took everything he had not to start grinding down onto Ryan’s thigh, so what he did instead was probably a little more appropriate which was letting one hand slowly make its way down Ryan’s bare chest and only stopping once his fingertips reached the top of his jeans.

“Please don’t say we need to slow down,” Parker said with a breathy chuckle against Ryan’s mouth, surprising himself that he even had enough breath to breathe, let alone speak. He hadn’t been touched so intimately in over a month, so for someone, and for that someone to be Ryan, to be touching him the way he was, was seriously fucking with Parker’s brain. He could barely remember his own last name, so he was really looking forward to the day where Ryan finally fucked his brains out completely. It was pretty embarrassing that he was reduced to only just a few words here and there, from just Ryan feeling him up over his clothes, but he couldn’t find it in himself to try and censor himself. Maybe if it wasn’t Ryan’s lap Parker was on, he would try and tone it down and pretend he wasn’t so affected by what was going on with Ryan’s mouth and hands but it was Ryan and Parker didn’t have a care in the world.

It was a good thing Parker still had his jeans on because at the sound of his loud moans, Ryan couldn’t stop himself from digging his nails into his ass, and he was sure that without the denim blocking the way, that wouldn’t have helped either of their situations at all. Drawing out different sounds from Parker was so incredibly easy, and Ryan couldn’t wait to spend all the time in the world figuring out every little thing he liked. There was so much he wanted from Parker. Obviously, he wanted to finally have sex with him outside of the few blowjobs and making out they’d done, but it was more than that: he wanted to take him out on dates, and hold his hand in public, and spend mornings holding him on the couch while they watched a movie or show that could actually hold his attention. It would be a lie to say he didn’t have strong feelings for Parker and he knew better than to scare him off by coming across as too strong, but he was certain that Parker didn’t realize just how much them trying to be in a relationship meant to him.

He moaned softly into Parker’s mouth as they kissed again, his heart racing as he felt the other man’s fingertips moving down his chest and stomach. As much as he wanted to wait before they went too far, his body definitely didn’t and there was only so much kissing he could take before he needed something else. Not to mention the couch really wasn’t big enough for the two of them to be comfortable on, not with what he had planned for Parker.

“No,” he answered, just as breathless as Parker was. “We should move to your room instead,” he suggested, his heart pounding against his chest even as the words left his lips.

[chicagohaynes]

F2F ⇆  004

[ryanwelshs]

chicagohaynes‌:

Parker only moaned louder as he felt Ryan’s grip tighten on him; he really could get used to being held so close and so fiercely. He wasn’t lying to Ryan when he said he hadn’t had sex in over a month, and while he’s gone out dancing a couple of times within that time frame, nothing felt better than being held like someone wanted him. It felt ten times better that the person who wanted him was Ryan. They both admitted to liking one another, so Parker knew Ryan didn’t want him for just sex, that much was obvious, and it kind of felt really nice. Really weird and foreign to him, but nice nonetheless.

When Parker first met Ryan, and as they got to know one another over the years, he honestly thought him blushing so much was just an act because he couldn’t believe someone like Ryan could be so fucking adorable and modest. Parker has always viewed Ryan to be confident and sure of himself, so it was a real nice surprise that he reacted so strongly to being complimented. It really just made Parker want to do more and more often than he already did, which was a lot.

As much as it would have disappointed him, Parker was prepared for Ryan to pull back and tell him they needed to slow down, at least for now, so when Ryan did the complete opposite of that, Parker was sure his brain short-circuited. He barely registered Ryan taking his shirt off, let alone Ryan taking Parker’s shirt off, that when he felt a mouth going to town on his neck, Parker was reduced to only being able to moan and gasp. “Ryan,” Parker breathed out, the only word that he, apparently, could remember anymore. He was fully hard by now and he couldn’t stop his hips from bucking forward even if he tried when Ryan sucked at a particularly sensitive part on his neck. “Oh, fuck.”

Parker moved his hands so that one was gripping tightly at Ryan’s, insanely muscular, shoulder, and the other to rest on the back of his head, careful not to press it down but making it clear he didn’t want Ryan to move just yet. “Goddamn, baby,” he whispered breathlessly against Ryan’s ear, not even believing what was happening to him as it was happening to him. He seriously should have told Ryan he was ready to be in a relationship months ago. Parker was glad he waited until the timing was right, but if he had known this was what was going to happen when he told Ryan, well, damn.

Ryan’s grip tightened on Parker’s waist, digging into his skin as he felt the other man’s hips shift suddenly, causing his breath to hitch a little against Parker’s neck. While part of him was flattered that it was so easy to have an effect on Parker, he wasn’t sure how he was supposed to have an ounce of self-control when Parker was so responsive in his lap, both physically and vocally. His other hand slowly slid up Parker’s back as he continued kissing at his throat, figuring he shouldn’t stop considering how much Parker seemed to be enjoying himself. The comments and sounds coming from Parker’s lips only encouraged him, and he couldn’t stop himself from gently biting at Parker’s neck, wanting to see what else he could draw out of him. 

He couldn’t wait to start figuring out what Parker liked, even though he had a fairly good idea already of what the other man enjoyed. They’d only hooked up twice, but both of those nights had been extremely memorable, at least on Ryan’s part. It was clear that Parker enjoyed someone throwing him around a little, and while Ryan hadn’t shown that side of him during most of their conversations, he was definitely capable of that, along with whatever else Parker wanted from him. When the time was right, Ryan couldn’t wait to do everything with Parker. Obviously he was ready for them to go on dates and continue connecting on a deeper level, but it would be a lie to say he hadn’t been thinking about moving forward with the physical aspects of their relationship as well.

His lips pulled into a grin as he heard Parker calling him baby, silently deciding that he could definitely get used to whatever Parker’s nicknames for him now that he knew they really meant something, now that their relationship meant something. He nipped at Parker’s jaw, smiling still as he kissed up to his ear, his teeth toying with the sensitive skin there. “I love kissing you,” he whispered, tugging at his ear once more before lowering his mouth back to the other man’s neck, not thinking about the mark he was leaving as he kissed and sucked at his skin.

Without thinking about whether he should or not, he let his hands slip down to the top of Parker’s jeans, never slowing or hesitating as they slid over the denim to cup at his ass, squeezing roughly with both of his hands as he continued kissing at the other man’s neck. He wasn’t sure of how far he wanted this to go yet, especially now that he had Parker sitting and moaning in his lap, but he trusted Parker to understand if they needed to stop, though Ryan wasn’t so sure he’d be able to stop himself if they got to a certain point. 

[chicagohaynes]

F2F ⇆  004

[ryanwelshs]

chicagohaynes·:

Parker let out a loud, low moan as he felt Ryan’s tongue against his, completely unsure how he was going to refrain from wanting them both naked in about ten minutes or less and not do anything about it. The only other times he just kissed someone was mostly when he was a teenager or younger, but also when he was too drunk or too tired to do anything else. But, that was far and few between. He loved sex, that much was obvious, and he has been without it for far too long that he was going close to insane; it didn’t help that Ryan was underneath him looking the way he did. Parker honestly has never wanted anyone more than he wanted Ryan.

Parker happily, more than happily, let Ryan pull him closer before he gripped tighter at the back of his neighbor’s neck as his other hand made its way down his side, his fingers playing with the bottom of his shirt once again. They were most definitely making out, there was no denying that, and yet Parker still couldn’t fucking believe it. He had thought about it happening for months now so he was already so riled up, half hard in his jeans to be exact, just by them kissing for a couple of minutes.

“Ryan,” he breathed out softly against his crush’s lips, opening his eyes so he could look down at him, which only made him groan softly at the sight. “Fuck, man, you’re so goddamn pretty,” he complimented sincerely, a small smirk pulling up his lips as he slowly pulled Ryan’s shirt up. “Wanna take this off for me, hot stuff?”

Ryan could definitely get used to Parker calling him by his first name, even if he had started to enjoy and appreciate all of the other man’s different nicknames for him. As simple as it was, Parker calling Ryan by something other than his last name or “hot stuff” showed just how far Parker had come from the reckless playboy he had been when they first met. And he’d done it without having to lose any of his usual charm or happy-go-lucky nature. Ryan had never wanted to change who Parker was, but he could have never been with the person he was when they first met, and he knew that that Parker hadn’t wanted to be with him either. His heart raced as he heard Parker moaning into his mouth, his fingers tightening their grip on the man in his lap even though he knew he couldn’t pull him any physically closer than he was, not in this position at least. Knowing Parker, it wouldn’t be long before he suggested they get more comfortable, so Ryan would enjoy just kissing him on the couch for as long as he could. He was hard enough without thinking about what would happen if Parker ended up inviting him to his bed. Despite being hit on hundreds of times by his neighbor, Ryan still couldn’t help but blush at the man’s compliment, butterflies fluttering in his stomach at how genuine his words sounded. There was no hesitation after Parker’s question as Ryan removed his hands from him to pull his own shirt up over his head, letting it fall over the arm of the couch before eagerly looking over Parker, waiting for him to do the same. “You too,” he encouraged, not waiting long before helping Parker out of his own shirt, not even letting the fabric hit the floor before he was leaning forward to attach his mouth to Parker’s neck, hungrily kissing and sucking at his skin as his hand moved up to trace over the familiar tattoo he’d seen only a few times before.

[chicagohaynes]

F2F ⇆  004

[ryanwelshs]

chicagohaynes·:

Parker might be new to the whole being in a relationship thing, but he could definitely get used to someone looking at him the way Ryan was, and someone holding him with such care. It took him an incredibly long time to be ready to finally tell Ryan he was ready for something more than just a friendship, and while he was glad he waited, he felt kind of stupid for realizing now what he was missing out on months ago. Parker still had his reservations about the two of them being serious and he knew he wasn’t a walk in the park to be around sometimes, but by this point Ryan knew him incredibly well, better than anyone else in Parker’s life, and if he still wanted Parker now, then Ryan really did want him for him. That was one of the reasons why Parker was waiting for the right moment to be ready; the last thing he wanted was them two being in a relationship and Ryan realizing that Parker was too much for him. There would be no coming back from that. Ryan confirming that he wanted him, so much, was exactly what Parker needed to hear.

Parker felt that weird butterfly fluttering around feeling deep in his stomach again as Ryan brushed his knuckles against his cheek. It felt equally different but good to have someone touch him with such care and tenderness and he was seriously looking forward to seeing, and feeling, how Ryan would continue on touching him now that they were something official. He also couldn’t help but wonder how long it was going to take before Ryan finally fucked him. Parker could be patient, he certainly has been for a while now, but he would be a liar if he wasn’t already thinking about the moment Ryan stuck his dick up his ass. He was smart enough to not bring that up quite yet, though.

A grin pulled up his lips as he watched a pink hue cover Ryan’s cheeks, so happy to know he could still get his crush to blush. He was pretty sure that was going to happen even more now that Parker could be more open and blunt with his compliments. “Only for you, hot stuff,” Parker said with a wide smile before leaning forward to press their lips together. He couldn’t wait to kiss Ryan until he was breathless, starting tonight. “Lemme know if you don’t like this,” he said as he carefully straddled Ryan’s thighs, already trying his best to not get hard right away by the position he was now in. “You’re so fuckin’ hot, Ryan,” Parker complimented sincerely before tilting his head down and connecting their mouths once again, this time letting his tongue gently massage Ryan’s bottom lip, waiting for permission to deepen their kiss.

While Ryan appreciated Parker making sure straddling his lap was okay, especially considering how many times he’d blatantly hit on Ryan back when he’d done nothing but turn him down, he couldn’t imagine how in the world anyone wouldn’t like that. Even though they’d hooked up twice now, both of those times had been laced with guilt and Ryan regretting just giving into Parker without really discussing what they were or could be. Now that he knew exactly what Parker wanted from him, he could kiss him without holding back. He wasn’t sure he was ready to go all the way with Parker yet, only because he didn’t want to rush anything. Physically, he definitely knew what he wanted to do with his neighbor, but they didn’t need to check off every first in one night. They’d have plenty of time for that, at least that’s what Ryan hoped. He knew better than to assume his and Parker’s relationship would be perfect now that Parker was his, but for now, he wanted to enjoy every second of it and do whatever he could to make sure Parker felt as safe and happy as possible. Parker’s comment had him feeling butterflies as he realized his neighbor would only be complimenting him from now on. When they’d first met, Ryan had accused Parker of hitting on anyone he liked, which was probably true at the time, but Ryan had assumed Parker hadn’t even meant half of his compliments, that he would say what it took to get Ryan into bed. Now he knew that was far from the case, and his heart soared to know that he would get a small part of Parker that was just for him, and that he could finally give Parker the parts of himself that he’d been keeping to himself until this point. There was so much he wanted to give to Parker and he couldn’t wait to spend their time showering him in the compliments and affection he deserved. His mouth easily opened for Parker as he leaned back against the couch, his cock twitching in his jeans as he slipped his tongue into the other man’s mouth, though in his defense, it’d been a while since he’d done anything with Parker or any man for that matter. He tightened his grip on Parker’s waist and tugged him a little further into his lap before letting one of his hands slip up the back of Parker’s shirt, his heart racing at the feeling of warm skin against the palm of his hand. He’d only seen Parker naked twice, and he couldn’t wait to spend his time getting reacquainted with his body and memorizing every inch of him.

[chicagohaynes]

F2F ⇆  004

[ryanwelshs]

chicagohaynes·:

Parker was trying his damn hardest to try and figure out what was going on in Ryan’s head as the other male look at him with an expression that was hard to read. Parker had never been very good at reading people, especially not when it came to the matters of the heart, so he tried to be as patient as he could be to hear his crush’s reply and, luckily, Ryan didn’t take too much longer. It would be far too late to take his own words back, not that Parker wanted to, but he hoped he wasn’t wrong in thinking Ryan wanted him in the same way as Parker wanted him. He was bad at understanding people sometimes, but he was 99.9 percent certain on where the two of them stood.

A wide grin pulled up his lips as Ryan broke the silence, his heart and stomach doing weird things in the process. No matter how scary it was to be serious with someone, whatever more that entailed, Parker honestly didn’t want to do it with anyone else but Ryan. His crush was so patient and caring and while Parker didn’t understand why they worked because he was impatient and careless, they definitely did and Parker was actually looking forward to how their relationship progressed. That wasn’t to say he was ready to be called someone’s boyfriend, but he was ready to be Ryan’s in some capacity. He would love to be Ryan’s something.

No words could ever convey the emotions he was feeling, so in a typical Parker move, he leaned forward and pressed their mouths together in a deep kiss before pulling his hand out of Ryan’s shirt so he could grip tightly at his shoulder. “Fuck, man,” he breathed out, followed by a soft chuckle that grazed Ryan’s lips. “I’m real glad you still want me like that. Like this, I guess,” he added with a small smile as he moved his hand to rest the palm against the back of Ryan’s neck. “You gotta help me a little bit along the way, but I wanna be yours.” Parker leaned forward so he could give Ryan yet another kiss, unable to help himself especially now that they were dating for real and he could kiss him whenever he wanted. Well, he hoped that was the deal. “I don’t call you the hottest piece of ass in Chicago for nothing,” he said with another grin.

Ryan was smiling before Parker’s lips even met his. Something about kissing Parker after everything he’d just said made it feel even more real, and now that he knew how serious his neighbor was about this, he wasn’t sure he’d ever want to stop. Before he’d questioned every kiss and touch between them, but now he could kiss Parker without hesitation, knowing that they were something. He dropped his hands down to Parker’s waist, his heart racing as the other man laughed against his lips. Despite Parker always being so loud and happy, Ryan wasn’t sure he’d ever seen him this genuinely happy, and his heart swelled in his chest to think that that was because of him. He wasn’t the type of man to think that anyone needed another person to make them happy, and he would hate for Parker to rely on him for happiness, but for now, he could only smile knowing that Parker felt genuinely happy at the idea of being with him. “Of course I still want you, Parker,” he replied, his heart skipping a beat as Parker corrected himself, that there even was a this for him to refer to. “I want this so much,” he promised as he gently pushed some of the hair out of Parker’s face.

When Parker said he wanted to be his, Ryan melted, a warm, genuine smile spreading across every inch of his face. That was definitely something he could get used to hearing Parker say. “I’ll help you,” he assured him, gently brushing the backs of his knuckles against Parker’s cheek. “Every step of the way.” He wasn’t sure how long it would take for it to really sink in that Parker was actually his. This was going to be a learning process for both of them. Ryan knew better than to assume that Parker was his boyfriend, but they were something, and he was more than happy with that.

His smile grew even more as he felt Parker’s hand on the back of his neck, and he couldn’t stop himself from laughing at the man’s comment, ducking his head in a poor attempt to try to hide the light blush that touched his cheeks. “You’re so ridiculous,” he chuckled before lifting his gaze up to look back at Parker, a small smile on his lips as he leaned forward to kiss him again, his thumb gently brushing back and forth against his side. Parker was his, and he wasn’t sure how many kisses it would take for that to feel real, but he was willing to put in all the work that it would take to find out.

[chicagohaynes]

F2F ⇆  004

[ryanwelshs]

chicagohaynes·:

Despite the fact that Parker knew, he really knew, that Ryan would like the idea of Parker wanting to be with him in a romantic way, and he was the first person to ever change Parker’s mind about wanting to be in a relationship, he was still pretty fucking terrified that Ryan could turn him down. His crush has made it incredibly clear he wanted to date Parker, but considering this was the first time someone really showed they wanted Parker in that way, it was still a new territory for him.

Parker loved people, he loved being around them, making friendships with them, hooking up with them, but he’s never let himself be vulnerable around anyone and that was scary in itself. If he and Ryan didn’t work out, Parker wasn’t sure how he was going to cope with it. But he honestly did not want to psyche himself out of the possibility of being in something more serious because he wanted Ryan more than he’s ever wanted someone or something before. His neighbor was so thoughtful and kind and way too fucking smart for Parker, and not to mention the fact that he was the hottest guy Parker has ever seen and Parker would be goddamn lucky to end up with a guy like him. He just needed to push down his fears and continue on taking life day by day, and do the same with Ryan and his relationship.

As Ryan took his face so gently into his hands, Parker didn’t even know what emotion he was feeling because he’s never felt it before, but he did know that it was something good, something really fucking good. No one has ever touched Parker with such care and tenderness before, and it amazed Parker that someone could think he was worthy of such a touch. He felt as if he breath was being taken away as Ryan leaned forward and pressed their lips together. A thumb rubbing softly against his cheek as Parker kissed Ryan back was what made him realize he would be fucking stupid to not lock Ryan down. His heart beating loudly against his chest agreed.

“Ryan,” Parker sighed softly, pulling away from the kiss just enough to be able to look into Ryan’s eyes. “I really like you,” he admitted, his voice breathy just from one little kiss that was anything but simple. “And I wanna be with you. You know, only you.”

Ryan had never had a relationship start out this slow and rocky before, but Parker was more than worth it; that much he knew with absolute certainty, even if he had no idea where their relationship would go. As illogical as he knew it was, Ryan had always been one to follow his heart, and his heart had wanted Parker for a long time now. There was no denying that. There were plenty of men out there who were more reliable and less likely to unknowingly do something that would hurt Ryan, but he knew he wouldn’t be able to even think about something with those men, not when Parker existed. He’d already tried that with Aiden and they hadn’t lasted longer than a few months. He hadn’t realized it then, but he knew now that it was because of Parker. His heart would never let him settle with someone else without at least giving something with Parker a real chance. The last thing Ryan had expected Parker to do was pull away from the kiss, especially when the other man had been so disappointed when Ryan told them they needed to stop. He’d assumed Parker would try to slip in some tongue and maybe make some smug comment about how he knew Ryan needed more, so when Parker opened his mouth to speak, Ryan was certain his heart stopped. In the months they’d spent getting closer and learning more about one another, Ryan had never once heard Parker speak in such a soft or gentle tone. It was the way he spoke more than anything that told Ryan just how serious his neighbor was about what he was saying, even if Ryan still found it hard to believe. It was what he’d wanted for months, and now that it was finally happening, it was almost too much for Ryan to take in and he wasn’t sure how to respond. A few long seconds had passed before Ryan realized he had yet to say anything. His hands were still holding Parker’s face and as much as he just wanted to lean in and kiss him again, especially after what Parker had just said, he knew that it was his turn to say something. He had no idea what was going through Parker’s mind, but knowing what he did of him, Ryan was sure that saying those few words had taken more courage than most people could ever know. As much as he’d love to just kiss Parker again for what he’d said, he knew that Parker needed and deserved a clearer response than that. “I want that too, Parker,” he admitted quietly, though he wasn’t sure how much of a secret that was. “I’ve wanted that for a while now.”

[chicagohaynes]

F2F ⇆  004

[ryanwelshs]

chicagohaynes·:

Parker grinned, not only because of Ryan’s reply but also his reaction to Parker having some fun underneath his shirt, no matter how small of a reaction it was. It was a real nice feeling to know he affected Ryan in some way because sometimes the guy was hard to read, when it came to his attraction to Parker. He was usually pretty bad at reading people and it didn’t really help that Parker was used to people coming on incredibly strong to him, so with Ryan he knew he had to really focus on his reactions and his body language to really get a feel on him. Definitely worth it, though.

His expression slowly changed from amused to sincere as Ryan asked him a question and he paused the movement of his fingers playing against Ryan’s skin to show his crush how serious he was when he answered with, “Well, yeah.” His lips pulled up into a small smile as he looked over at Ryan and really thought about what he was going to say next. Parker normally worked on impulse and said whatever he wanted to at any time, but he really wanted Ryan to know he could be serious sometimes. “With you, Ryan.”

Parker’s heart was beating so loud against his chest that he could hear his heartbeat all the way up to his ears. He never had feelings for someone before, at least not as deeply as he had them for Ryan and it was really fucking scary to admit it, even to someone who appreciated when someone spoke from the heart. Parker didn’t know what came next but he hoped Ryan spoke soon or he was going to take it back or make a joke or something stupid to fuck everything up.

While Ryan could come across as reserved and modest a majority of the time, he did know that he was worth dating and that he had a lot that he could offer someone who would want to be with him, but despite that, he had no idea what Parker saw in him. Maybe knowing the types of people Parker had been interested in the past would help him understand that. They were complete opposites, and there was a lot in Parker that drew Ryan to him, but it was still difficult for Ryan to wrap his head around why Parker would want him in return. He questioned Parker’s drinking and lifestyle and put him in conversations that he knew made Parker uncomfortable, even if they were necessary for them to have. At one point, Parker had even gone so far as to say that Ryan was boring, and he couldn’t quite pinpoint when their relationship had started to change so much. He could feel his heart racing in his chest as Parker called him by his name again, his eyes searching the other man’s as if he expected to find any hint that he was lying, even though he knew Parker wouldn’t do that to him, not about this. Still, it was hard to believe that Parker really went his entire life without ever having feelings for someone. He was gorgeous and fun to be around, so Ryan was sure he wouldn’t have much of a problem getting men and women to go on a date with him if he wanted. Ryan could believe that Parker had never attempted to be in a fully committed relationship, but the idea that he was the first man to ever come close to changing his mind made his stomach flip. Ryan wasn’t oblivious to the change and growth Parker had gone through over the past couple of months. While he still struggled opening up about his life, he was still so different from the man Ryan had met when they first met as neighbors, even different from the man who had constantly hit on him months ago with no regard to whether or not he was interested. This Parker had much more potential to hurt Ryan because there was a large chance Ryan would give a part of his heart to him, but that would be a risk Ryan could take if Parker was willing to do the same. It was Ryan’s turn to be speechless, and after only a second of thought, he gently took Parker’s face in both of his hands as he leaned forward to press a slow, open-mouthed kiss to his mouth, his thumb gently caressing at Parker’s stubbled cheek. If Parker could put in the effort to communicate in a way that Ryan understood, then he could do the same in return.

[chicagohaynes]

F2F ⇆  004

[ryanwelshs]

chicagohaynes·:

Parker honestly couldn’t understand how Ryan could stop kissing him just like that, and it really made Parker question if Ryan thought he was attractive enough. Though, that thought quickly left his mind because he knew Ryan thought he was hot, he even told him so a couple of months ago and Ryan usually was the one to initiate the kisses they shared. But, Parker wasn’t used to people being able to keep their hands off of him, so he couldn’t help but question it.

“I’m callin’ bullshit on that,” Parker said with a breathy chuckle, trying his best to think of anything but Ryan and how fucking hot he was because he was half hard and his body was literally aching to touch Ryan more than he already was. Parker knew he really should take his hand out from under his friend’s shirt, but, in some strange way it was actually helping to ground him. Not being able to really touch Ryan for so long was driving him mad, so he was going to take advantage of Ryan not pushing his hand away just yet.

“I kinda did, man,” Parker replied with a grin, thinking back to his answer about his first time. “After the first time a guy fucked me, that’s pretty much when I knew.” He seriously wasn’t kidding about not knowing he was into dudes until he had sex with one. Sure, he found guys attractive here and there but he thought that was just him knowing what being attractive was, he never realized it was because he wanted them sexually. And he decided to voice that; Ryan seemed to like it when he talked about himself. “Saw a lot of hot dudes before but didn’t think I wanted them like that. Turns out I did,” he said with a smirk, his fingers slowly making their way down Ryan’s chest and resting on his bare hip. If Ryan just took off his shirt, it would make thing so much easier for Parker. Well, harder too.

Ryan really couldn’t blame Parker for his comment. He knew exactly what Parker wanted from him and had wanted from him for months now, so of course from his perspective, Ryan’s self-control was unwavering. He had already slipped up too many times with Parker to allow himself to do it again, especially if he wanted Parker to take him seriously when he said he wanted a relationship. It wasn’t fair for him to constantly tell Parker that he didn’t sleep around when his actions couldn’t match his words. His eyebrows raised a little at the answer to his question. He couldn’t imagine not realizing he liked men until he’d slept with one. Ryan didn’t have the added confusion of growing up being attracted to both men and women, but even still, he’d spent years wondering why it was he wasn’t like the other boys in his grade. Hours questioning why he was so different. It’d taken him years to come to terms with it and longer than that to feel comfortable with it, so for Parker to just hook up with a man and then go from there was genuinely impressive and not at all surprising if Ryan really thought about it. Nothing seemed to truly faze him, and Ryan couldn’t understand how someone could be so casual and open yet still guarded and secretive at the same time. Parker came across as an open book, but Ryan knew there was still so much that his neighbor wouldn’t talk to him about. “Wow,” was all he could say in response, his breath shaking a little as Parker’s fingers slid down to rest on his hip. When Parker didn’t immediately ask his question, Ryan took advantage of the chance to ask another. “And have you ever considered dating anyone before? Or felt like you could have had something with anyone?” he asked gently, wanting to know if Parker had really gone this long without ever even considering a relationship. He could see how he wouldn’t actually commit to anyone and just continue playing the field, but it was hard to believe that Parker had never had any sort of feelings for anyone, especially when Ryan so easily caught feelings for men in the past. 

[chicagohaynes]

F2F ⇆  004

[ryanwelshs]

chicagohaynes·:

Parker felt his dick twitch as Ryan’s grip on him tightened, showing Parker just how strong he was and turning Parker on even more in a matter of seconds. Being reminded how strong Ryan was did things to him, and his dick. He moaned low and long as he felt fingers and teeth digging into different parts of his skin. Christ, Ryan was turning him into mush under his hands real quick. A soft gasp let his lips when Ryan dragged his tongue along his lip and when Parker felt him pull away, he leaned in on reflex because he really did not want this moment to end. Luckily, and surprisingly, it seemed like Ryan didn’t either because he leaned in too, even though it was his choice to stop.

“Oh, fuck, Ryan,” Parker breathed before letting out a soft chuckle. He was almost positive he could count on one hand the amount of times he kissed someone and it didn’t lead to anything. They barely even made out, and that seriously was just not enough for Parker. But, he did respect Ryan and he wanted things to move forward between them, even if that was slightly terrifying, and he knew to do that they would have to move slow when it came to their sex life. Parker just wasn’t used to not sleeping with people on at least a weekly basis and he really fucking missed it. He knew it wasn’t completely off the table with Ryan, but Parker was quickly realizing he was going to have to be even more patient than he originally thought.

“Your self-resistance is fuckin’ unbelievable,” he added a beat later with another soft laugh, wanting Ryan to know that he was mostly just joking. He honestly didn’t know how Ryan could just kiss someone in the way they just did and not want more. It was driving him crazy. “Hope you don’t want me movin’ my hand, though, because it’s having a real nice time.”

Ryan’s heart was still racing, but his thoughts might as well have been running a marathon. He was very tempted to go in for another kiss and just pick up where they’d left off, but he knew he had to stop before he was in too deep. Had he kissed Parker another few seconds, he would never be able to stop. Part of him wondered if that was such a bad thing. They’d essentially just gone out on a date, which he knew was a major step for Parker. Months ago, Parker probably would have laughed at the thought of going on a date to the movies with Ryan, so this was definitely progress for them.  

It was really himself that Ryan couldn’t trust. Parker clearly needed to take things slow as far as emotions and feelings were involved, but Ryan knew that once they crossed that line that Parker wanted them to cross, he’d get carried away with his emotions and ruin the progress they’d slowly been making. He always did that. His feelings grew too strong, too fast, and he got ahead of himself every time he saw potential with someone, but he liked Parker too much to do that this time. It helped that Parker was so against relationships; it forced Ryan to really take things slow and think about every aspect of their relationship before making his next move.

His lips pulled into a smile at the sound of his name coming from Parker. He realized in that moment that Parker didn’t call him ‘Ryan’ all that often. It was always Welsh or one of the nicknames the other man came up for him, which Ryan always enjoyed, but it made hearing his first name sound all the more special. It definitely sounded good in that breathless tone of his, so Ryan was glad they were on the same page because kissing Parker always left him breathless too.

“I wouldn’t say that,” he chuckled, remembering the few times he’d proven to Parker just how little self control he had. Parker’s next comment quickly made Ryan very self aware of where his hand was, and it didn’t do a thing to help ease his heartbeat. He didn’t do anything to remove Parker’s hand, knowing that he might very well regret that if Parker got any ideas.

“You, uh, never answered my question earlier,” he said with a small smile, eager to change the subject to keep his lips off of Parker’s. “About when you realized you liked men.”

[chicagohaynes]

F2F ⇆  004

[ryanwelshs]

chicagohaynes·:

Parker’s lips twitched up into a smile as Ryan opened his mouth for him, feeling a sort of victory that Ryan was happily letting Parker deepen their kiss. He was used to being the one to initiate kisses, among other acts, but in his and Ryan’s past it has, mostly, always been Ryan who initiated their kisses and made it clear what their next moves were going to be. Parker would be a fucking liar if he said he didn’t think it was hot. He had gotten a taste of what Ryan was like in the bedroom, and it was kinky and dominant, and all kinds of right. Parker has thought about that night more than a dozen times by now and he couldn’t wait for something like that to happen again. Even if he was perfectly okay with them just making out tonight, it would definitely be a nice bonus.

When Ryan moved closer, placed his hand on his waist and thrust his tongue in Parker’s mouth in almost one smooth moment, Parker couldn’t help but let out a low moan of approval. His dick apparently enjoyed it too because he could feel himself getting semi-hard, just from kissing Ryan. It had a whole lot to do with the fact that he hasn’t fucked or gotten fucked by someone in a month, but Ryan being so incredibly hot was a large factor too. The feeling of his facial hair against his skin and his strong hand at his waist made Parker more turned on than he would like to admit. It was Ryan’s fault for getting him all worked up. Not that he wasn’t enjoying their kiss, far from the opposite.

Parker keeping his hands to himself was never his forte, so as their tongues collided with one another, he moved his hand down from Ryan’s hair to the bottom of his shirt to gently slip his hand underneath it. Another low moan fell from his lips and into Ryan’s mouth as he felt the other male’s happy trail and then his ab muscles as he moved his hand further up. He swore Ryan was made from his wildest fantasies; he was way too fucking sexy for Parker to handle. But he was absolutely down to try his best.

Ryan’s breath hitched a little and his muscled tensed as he felt Parker’s hand move up his shirt, but he quickly relaxed as he leaned into the kiss again. At this point in his friendship or whatever it was he had with Parker, he knew that his neighbor respected him enough and would stop the moment Ryan asked him to. The only problem was that Ryan would need to ask. He was certain that Parker would take this as far as he could if Ryan didn’t do anything to put an end to it, and he couldn’t blame him. Ryan didn’t want this to end either.

His grip on Parker’s waist tightened a little every time he heard the other man moan, the sound going straight to his cock, though he did his best to ignore that. He wouldn’t lie and say it didn’t help his self esteem knowing that Parker was moaning just from touching him. Parker was gorgeous, and it felt good knowing that someone like him found Ryan to be attractive as well, not that it was a surprise. Parker seemed to slip in compliments about Ryan’s appearance at least a dozen times a day. Ryan wasn’t complaining, but he had never been the best at accepting compliments and never knew what to say in response. At least in this case, he didn’t have to say a thing.

His hand slid away from Parker’s jaw and into his hair, his nails gently scratching at the back of his head as he took his bottom lip between his teeth and gently tugged before softening the kiss again, his tongue soothing where his teeth had just been. He forced himself to pull away completely, knowing that this could end up like it did every time he kissed Parker, but one look at the other man’s lips and Ryan couldn’t help but lean back in for one more lingering kiss. When he pulled back again, he was slightly out of breath, his heart still racing as he tried to look Parker in the eyes rather than at his all too inviting mouth.

“We should stop. For now.”

[chicagohaynes]

F2F ⇆  004

[ryanwelshs]

chicagohaynes·:

“Alright, man, I got no problem with that,” Parker said in reply, his smile growing because while it was fun to mess around with Ryan about his past, it was awesome to know Ryan was done talking about him. Parker liked to think he was way more fun than any ex could ever be, anyways. He knew Ryan had more than one ex, Parker actually slept with one of them before he knew it was Ryan the guy was cheating on, but he rather not hear about them more than he had too. Parker might not show he was jealous but he did feel it, and it was not a fun feeling to have.

By the time Ryan kissed him back, Parker had quickly forgotten about their twenty questions game despite the fact that they had a whole lot more questions to ask to even get to twenty. It wasn’t his fault his crush was the hottest guy he’s ever seen and getting kissed by him felt like nothing he had ever felt before. Parker had always thought kissing someone would feel the same, no matter who it was, but, as his feelings for Ryan deepened, he was realizing that it was definitely different from all the other people he’s kissed in the past. They were nothing compared to Ryan and it didn’t help that he could feel Ryan gently brushing his finger against Parker’s hand. The guy was really making it hard for Parker to think.

Parker’s heart was beating so loudly against his chest he was pretty sure it was about jump out of his skin as Ryan looked at him the same way he did before their kiss. He hoped Ryan wasn’t about to ask Parker how or what he was feeling, because Parker honestly did not know how to describe it. He had hoped the kiss was enough to satisfy him. After Ryan made it clear he didn’t want to just make out with Parker tonight, he was so certain that them kissing wasn’t in the cards for them but, luckily, Ryan had other plans and it was his best plan of the night.

As Ryan deepened the kiss, Parker let out a soft gasp in surprise. He honestly wanted nothing more than to straddle Ryan’s thighs and make out with him until neither one of them could breathe, but he knew he had to keep taking it slow when it came to their physical relationship. It was working so far, and it made Ryan make another first move. Which Parker thoroughly appreciated.

While Parker was trying to be on his best behavior, he still needed more of Ryan so he moved his hand from Ryan’s thigh so he could cup the back of his head, his fingers sliding up and into his hair. He wanted to pull away and say something, anything really, but he was afraid once he pulled away that would be it, so he saved his breath. After another moment or two of enjoying the way their mouths felt when they were attached, Parker gently ran his tongue along Ryan’s top lip, seeking entrance and asking permission for more.

Ryan would have to thank Parker at some point for being so patient and understanding with him considering all of the mixed signals he must have been sending him since they first kissed. He’d made it incredibly clear that he and Parker were just friends before he’d invited him over to play pool and then made out with him against the table before carrying him into his bedroom. Then he’d ended up on his knees in front of Parker not long after that, again after telling his neighbor that it shouldn’t happen again. And here he was now, initiating another kiss after turning Parker down for wanting to make out not even an hour earlier. He couldn’t help himself when it came to Parker, and maybe he could if he tried harder, but it was hard to convince himself not to kiss Parker whenever they were near each other, especially now that Ryan had a taste of what it was like.

His heart skipped a beat in his chest as he heard Parker gasp against his mouth. He knew that Parker was far more experienced than him when it came to sleeping with a variety of people, so he enjoyed knowing that it wasn’t that difficult for him to find things that the man enjoyed whenever they were intimate. A sigh left his lips as he felt Parker’s fingers in his hair, a fluttering feeling rising in his chest at how gentle and soft the touch was. He caressed his fingers against Parker’s jaw, a barely audible moan escaping into his mouth as he parted his lips and tasted the other man’s tongue against his own.

Without breaking the kiss, he shifted a little closer on the couch towards Parker, moving his hand from his leg to Parker’s waist as he pushed his tongue through the man’s lips, gently caressing the inside of his mouth and moaning again, forgetting to remind himself not to get too carried away like he was prone to doing when it came to Parker.

He’d been a little worried that his first kiss with Parker would be the best, that kissing him was just something he needed to get out of his system, but that clearly wasn’t the case. Ryan’s feelings had only grown as he and Parker became closer, and kissing him felt more like an addiction or a craving than anything else. Even when they weren’t together, Ryan found himself thinking about it, and he knew it wasn’t helping his case when it came to wanting a real relationship with Parker. They were definitely making progress with going out on what could almost be called dates, but he also worried that if he gave too much of himself to Parker, there would be no purpose in dating him. Why would Parker want a relationship with him when he got all of the physical benefits without the labels? It was a small worry of Ryan’s, but he knew that when it came to Parker, he’d just have to trust that he wouldn’t do that to him, and that a small part of him wanted more than just the physical too.

[chicagohaynes]

F2F ⇆  004

[ryanwelshs]

chicagohaynes·:

“But, still, he must have been hot even in high school,” Parker said with a grin, trying his best not to show that he was just a tiny bit jealous. He was almost positive he’s never seen a photo of Logan before, and he wasn’t sure if he ever wanted to. The guy had to be some type of attractive to be a model, and Parker wondered if he was a runway model or a big, beefy one who did magazine stuff. Either way, Parker was mad about it. Good thing Parker knew he was hot and that Ryan definitely did not downgrade, whatever the guy looked like. Parker liked to think he was an upgrade after anyone Ryan dated. Not that they were dating.

The moment Ryan’s face changed into an expression Parker didn’t really know how to place, he felt his stomach do weird things, like fuckin’ summersaults. No one has ever looked at Parker the way Ryan was, and he really, really hoped it was a good thought Ryan was having about him. Parker wanted to assume it was because his crush looked like Parker hung the fucking moon for him. Shit, he wondered if he looked that way when looking at Ryan, or if he hid it well. Was he supposed to do something when someone looked at you like that? Say something nice? Parker seriously did not have enough experience with sharing emotions to deal with that look.

“I’m gonna kiss you now, Welsh, cause I’m feeling a lot of shit and don’t know how to like, talk about it. So, yeah,” Parker replied with a soft chuckle before leaning forward and softly pressing their lips together.

Being into someone who really liked to talk, about real stuff and not just where the next party was or about the crazy thing they did last night, was really fucking weird because Parker had never really been good with words. He could pretty much get anyone to sleep with his words, but talking about his feelings and things that really matter? Not his forte and he doubted it ever was going to be. Parker hoped that wasn’t going to drive Ryan away, but Ryan knew him well enough to know Parker wasn’t one to spend hours talking about how he felt that day. It seemed like Ryan liked him for who he was, but Parker wasn’t going to fully believe that until Ryan got to know him more, if that ever happened. What they were doing now was cool but talking about shit like his drinking or whatever, he wasn’t sure how open he would ever be about that. Ryan didn’t know all the details about his drinking problem and Parker wanted to keep it that way. He wouldn’t understand why Ryan wanted to be with someone who had a problem like that. It was best to keep some things from him because Parker knew it would only make him angry or sad, and Parker never wanted to make Ryan feel either of those emotions.

After gently pecking Ryan’s lips again and shit, were they nice lips, Parker pulled away because he doubted Ryan wanted to make out with him. Which was a real damn shame. “The way you look at me, man,” Parker said softly, gnawing softly onto his bottom lip before looking over at Ryan, hoping his face showed the same expression Ryan was showing a moment ago because it was how he felt too. It just terrified him.

Ryan smiled and shook his head while shrugging his shoulders at Parker’s comment, not really sure of what his neighbor wanted him to say. He hadn’t asked Parker to the movies today so they could talk this much about his exes, and he was definitely ready for a change of subject. He didn’t want to talk about how attractive Logan was or even think about him at all. He’d asked Parker out so they could talk about him, and it was hard to find Logan interesting in comparison. Ryan and Logan had been a good match back when they dated, but Ryan had moved on from that and there weren’t any lingering feelings of romance or attraction. Not for Logan. Not for any of his exes.

“I don’t want to talk about Logan anymore,” Ryan answered honestly, hoping they could move on from talking about Logan and his first time. He just wanted to focus on the present moment. He wanted to focus on Parker.

He thought his heart had been racing before, but he was wrong because it was nothing compared to how he felt when Parker told him he was going to kiss him. He would have loved to know exactly what Parker was feeling, but he knew better than to expect an explanation. Parker was clearly a physical person, and Ryan understood that this kiss was the best he could do for now. In all honesty, Parker’s explanation for kissing Ryan was more than enough. He wasn’t sure that Parker would have been able to say that a month ago before kissing him, and he was content with taking baby steps in their relationship, whatever their relationship was. Parker was certainly okay with them taking the physical part slow, so Ryan could be patient with his neighbor in return.

As Parker’s mouth met his, Ryan easily leaned into the kiss, his hand still covering the other man’s. His thumb gently caressed the back of Parker’s hand before the kiss ended, and he couldn’t deny he was surprised by how short lived it was. Parker was serious about trying his best to behave himself, and Ryan was surprised by how disappointed he was in how well Parker was doing just that.

He hadn’t realized that he’d been looking at Parker in any particular way, but fortunately it didn’t seem to be scaring him away. If anything, it was having the opposite reaction and Ryan couldn’t stop himself from smiling in response, causing his eyes to crinkle around the corners. He really was doing his best to not get carried away with what he and Parker could be, but he wanted to believe that this could work, and it seemed that a part of Parker wanted that too.

Not knowing what to say and still needing more from that kiss, he leaned in to kiss Parker again, this one deeper than the first as he brought his free hand up to cup at Parker’s stubbled jaw. He tilted his head just slightly as he took Parker’s bottom lip between his own, taking a page out of his neighbor’s book as he stopped trying to put a label or explanation on every little thing they did so that he could just live in the moment and enjoy himself.

[chicagohaynes]

F2F ⇆  004

[ryanwelshs]

chicagohaynes·:

Parker really didn’t know how he got all tangled up in feelings with a guy that barely kissed men he wasn’t dating whereas Parker happily fucked people whenever the mood struck, but here they were anyways. On Ryan’s couch playing 20 questions to get to know one another better. Thinking back to the first time they kissed, and hooked up shortly after, he now knew that it wasn’t something Ryan did often, and damn, if that didn’t make Parker feel special. Ryan has, clearly, been on the fence on giving Parker a chance but Parker was almost certain that Ryan making the first moves meant something. And something real nice.

Watching Ryan’s cheeks turn pink at Parker’s words was really something else. Every time they hung out lately, Parker had been making Ryan blush real easily and despite seeing it happen at least a dozen times, it still left Parker real confused. Even though it was a huge fuckin’ compliment and it was adorable as hell, Parker still didn’t get how someone as hot as Ryan blushed when they were complimented. He knew Ryan hasn’t had the best boyfriends in the past but he had to have gotten told how hot he was at least a couple of time. If not, the world was a messed-up place.

Parker’s smile widened at the amused look on Ryan’s face. He was so glad they finally got to the point where Ryan could talk about his sex life comfortably with him. Parker has probably been a little more than pushy with the sex talk with Ryan, ever since he met him, but it was really hard to talk about real shit with people, even though he was getting better. Barely, but at least a little bit.

Upon hearing the name Logan, Parker knew exactly who he was without Ryan having to explain it to him. Parker may not remember everything said to him because his memory was certainly not the best, but he did remember Ryan talking about dating a guy named Logan. The dude was a model, that wasn’t something Parker would forget. And now, apparently, he was finding out that he was Ryan’s first. Great. Parker honestly wasn’t the jealous type, he’s never felt it better, but he was feeling something really close to it as Ryan went on to answer his question even more. “Damn, your first time was with a model? That’s real lucky, Welsh,” Parker replied with a soft chuckle, hiding any jealous feeling he was having because it was stupid.

“Shit, my first times,” he said with his eyebrows slightly raised. “Lemme think a minute,” Parker added, gently squeezing Ryan’s thigh as he racked his brain, trying to remember the first time he had sex with someone. “Pretty sure I was 14, maybe 15, who fuckin’ knows. Was with some chick who was a couple of years older. Wasn’t anythin’ great and definitely wasn’t romantic, it was over in a couple of minutes,” Parker said with a soft laugh before remembering that Ryan said firsts, so he assumed he meant with a guy too. “Then my first time with a guy was in college. Was real experienced with the ladies, but dudes? A whole new thing. Was drunk out of my mind though, and so was he but it was real fun from what I remember. Glad that guy made the first move, never realized I liked dudes till I got fucked.” With a wide grin, he squeezed Ryan’s thigh again, enjoying the way his muscles felt underneath his palm. It was seriously unbelievable how toned Ryan was.

Ryan laughed and shook his head at Parker’s question. He’d really never thought of it that way. Logan hadn’t gotten into modeling until after he moved away, and honestly, Ryan didn’t think of him all that often. Logan had been his first and that wasn’t something Ryan would forget. Parker was right in saying he’d been lucky; his first time had been with someone who truly cared about him at the time. But that chapter in his life had come to a close. Logan was someone he’d been with for some time in college, but Ryan didn’t look at it as something he should have pursued further or a relationship that never should have ended, and he certainly didn’t think of it in Parker’s terms. The fact that his first time had been with a model had never even crossed his mind until Parker put it out there.

“He wasn’t a model at the time,” Ryan reminded with a gentle smile. He wasn’t sure of what was going through Parker’s mind, but he certainly didn’t want him comparing himself to his exes. Parker had never dated anybody, but Ryan had still found himself wondering how he compared to the men and women Parker had been with. And he knew what it felt like to compare yourself to somebody’s ex. Logan did go on to be a model, which really wasn’t all that surprising considering his looks, but that wasn’t important to him. All of the guys Ryan had been with could easily be described as hot, but they weren’t Parker. None of them had been beautiful.

When he first saw Parker, Ryan couldn’t deny that he’d found him attractive in an arrogant, careless type of way that some men were, and it had taken a while but he eventually realized that his first impression of Parker wasn’t even close to who the man really was. Without a doubt, he had the most beautiful eyes Ryan had ever seen. And Ryan didn’t even want to think about his body. It’d been a while since they’d been intimate, but Ryan couldn’t push away the thoughts of what Parker looked like naked, even if he wanted to. And despite how many times he’d turned Parker down, his lips always looked inviting and it took more self restraint than Ryan would admit to keep from kissing him.

And then there was his smile.

Parker’s smile was one of the few things that made Ryan melt, even if he did best not to show it. He liked making Parker smile and laugh, especially when he knew it was genuine because it wasn’t always. That much he knew, no matter how much Parker may have tried to hide it. There were times when Parker smiled or made a joke and Ryan saw right through him, noticed that his constant happiness was just a mask for something Ryan wasn’t sure he’d ever be able to chip through the surface to get to. He hadn’t missed the times Parker smiled and a hint of sadness peaked through, even if only for a moment. Ryan would never pretend he knew Parker, but it was clear there was something that haunted him, that caused him to drink and party and avoid genuine relationships with anybody. Ryan wasn’t sure why he was different or if he even deserved to be, but he hoped that one day Parker would realize that he didn’t need to pretend anymore. Parker wasn’t the happy party animal that he made himself out to be, and Ryan couldn’t blame people for letting him stay that way. It didn’t take much to realize that Parker wouldn’t let them do otherwise.

He looked down in surprise as he felt Parker’s hand squeeze at his leg. He’d honestly forgotten it was there, which was a far leap from where they’d been just a week ago when he was overly aware of every touch that came from Parker. Now his hand resting on his thigh could go unnoticed for minutes, as if Parker touching him was just something they’d always done. Months ago, Ryan would have removed Parker’s hand from him the second it came into contact. Now he hoped Parker never pulled it away.

He was glad when Parker shared his first time with both a man and woman. Ryan had meant his first kiss, but maybe Parker wasn’t the type to find something as simple as a kiss to be special, considering how lackluster his first time seemed. Or at least that’s how he made it sound. Ryan still couldn’t tell when Parker was downplaying something; he seemed to do that a lot, as if he was worried about how people might perceive the truth. Parker hadn’t even mentioned their names, either because he couldn’t remember or because they were that meaningless to him. Ryan wasn’t naive enough to think that everyone cared about their first time and who they shared it with. Most first times really weren’t that special or even good to begin with, so it was foolish to put so much pressure into trying to make it that way. But he still found himself wishing Parker’s first had been better. He wished a lot of aspects of Parker’s life were better.

Still, he was glad Parker had shared. Ryan knew without question that he wasn’t attracted to women, and it was interesting to hear Parker’s perspective. Being gay had been confusing enough. He couldn’t imagine having to figure out his sexuality had he been bisexual.

His eyes glanced down as Parker squeezed at his thigh again, a small smile pulling at his lips at the bluntness of his comment. Rather than ignoring Parker’s hand, Ryan slowly moved his own hand overtop of Parker’s. He didn’t want to hold Parker’s hand and scare him away, but this was easy. This he hoped they could do.

“Did you ever suspect you liked men? Before him?”

[chicagohaynes]

F2F ⇆  004

[ryanwelshs]

chicagohaynes·:

“Sounds awesome, man. It’ll be fun.” Obviously, Parker wasn’t jumping up and down in excitement to go to a, probably long ass, show or musical, but he did like seeing Ryan smile and he seemed to be really interested in shows so Parker would definitely go with him, especially if he had no one else to go with. Parker couldn’t guarantee that he would like whatever one they go to, or that he wouldn’t fall asleep, but going would be a whole lot more than he’s ever done for anyone else in his life. He wanted to be good for Ryan, he wanted to be someone Ryan wanted to be around, even more than he did now, so if he had to sit through people singing and dancing for a couple of hours to be that, he would do it. Ryan seemed to know him pretty damn well, too, and that helped Parker be more at ease with the idea. But he has been getting better at staying awake during movies and shows, and that seriously all had to do with Ryan.

Parker felt his heart do a weird thing when he heard his neighbor’s reply, and how earnest he sounded. He had no idea what the fuck they were doing or where it would lead to but they seemed to be on the same page so far. They both wanted to get to know each other better and they were both glad that the other was around. Parker might want to speed things up in the sex department, but that was the only difference. Well, he hoped it was. All he could do was look at Ryan like he was the prettiest thing he’s ever seen because words couldn’t come to him; and that was pretty much a first for him.

A grin reappeared on his face when he saw Ryan’s cheek turn pink. Which just happened to be Parker’s favorite color on him. “So, you are really serious about only kissin’ people you date,” Parker said in reply, finding it really hard to believe someone like Ryan wasn’t getting ass on, at least, a weekly basis. It really must be a choice of Ryan’s if that didn’t happen cause the dude was smoking hot. “And me,” he added with a wink, more than happy to be that exception. Though, if you asked him, they were pretty close to dating with all the hanging out they’ve been doing lately. Not that he would say that out loud. At least, not yet. “Welsh, that’s fucking adorable,” Parker said with a soft chuckle and a hand gently squeezing Ryan’s thigh, picturing 17-year-old Ryan getting his first kiss from some dude, probably wearing tuxes. “Also, fuck everyone else at that homecoming bullshit. Some people don’t know a good thing when they see it.” Parker didn’t have a clue that he liked guys until college but he never saw anything wrong with it, some people just cared way too much about what other people were doing. It was stupid.

“It’s your turn but, whatever. Was your first time with that guy too?” Parker asked, for once not asking a sexual question for a selfish reason, he was just genuinely curious. He hoped, whoever, Ryan had sex with first treated him real fucking well.

It was hard to believe just how different Ryan and Parker were, and whoever had first said that opposites attract must have known what they were talking about because their differences had yet to turn Ryan away. Maybe had first they had, but only because Parker had different intentions then. Parker clearly enjoyed casual sex while Ryan had never truly been comfortable with it. While he found himself attracted to men in that way, he had never been the type to be able to casually hook up with people. Even just kissing men he barely knew had never been easy for him, and he could count on one hand the amount of times it’s happened. “I really am,” he confirmed, a small smile on his lips.

“And you,” he added, chuckling at Parker’s wink. The man had every right to be pleased that he and Ryan had gone so far already considering how rare it was for Ryan to allow himself to do that. He really didn’t know what had come over himself that night he first kissed Parker and ended up in bed with him, and while he’d been scared about what it would mean for them, he hadn’t regretted it.

He let out a soft laugh as Parker grabbed his leg and called him adorable, a light pink blush rising through his cheeks yet again, making him grateful for the facial hair that at least partially covered how often he blushed. His eyes met Parker’s again at the man’s next comment, realizing that Parker really wasn’t like the men Ryan had dated before. Not at all. Ryan had no idea how he could ever think that was the case. Parker may have partied and presented himself like the men from Ryan’s past, but his heart was far too big to even be comparable to them. The thought maybe Ryan’s heart race, and he broke eye contact to look back down at his lap, hoping that Parker would just assume it was because of his next question. A small amused smile spread across his lips at the question. It really shouldn’t have been surprising, but Ryan noticed the change of tone in Parker’s voice. This wasn’t his neighbor just wanting the details about Ryan’s sex life the way he had in the past. This was him actually wanting to learn more about him as a person, and Ryan wished that he knew what this meant for their relationship because there was no doubting that it was nothing like how things had been when they first started talking. “No, it wasn’t with him,” he answered before looking back up at Parker, not at all ashamed of how ‘late’ his first time had been compared to some of the people he knew. He hadn’t been ready in high school, and he was certain that he would have regretted it had he lost his virginity when he was that young. “My first time wasn’t until my freshman year of college. That’s when I started dating Logan,” he explained, positive that he had mentioned Logan to Parker before. His dating history really wasn’t very extensive, and he remembered that Parker had asked a few times about the type of men he had dated in the past, especially considering Parker’s connection with one of Ryan’s more unfortunate exes.

“What about your firsts? What were they like?” he asked, genuinely curious at just how different Parker’s experience had been from his own, but also ready to have the conversation shift from his own sex life for a while.

[chicagohaynes]

F2F ⇆  004

[ryanwelshs]

chicagohaynes·:

Parker’s eyebrows raised a little bit at the mention of Hunter, the guy that Parker wanted his friend Sebastian to hook up with a couple of months ago, literally and figuratively. The guy was really, really hot and that’s exactly what Parker’s friend liked. Sebastian wasn’t at all the dating type, so it surprised Parker when Sebastian told him that, yeah, he and Hunter were exclusively seeing one another. But, Parker wasn’t the dating type either and here he was with Ryan, even if they didn’t necessarily call tonight an official date. It definitely felt like one. Maybe when he and Ryan were getting real comfortable with each other, they could all go out sometime together. He’s only met Hunter a handful of times, and never for long. “Awesome, man. If you ever wanna go and don’t have Hunter or whatever to go with, I could be down,” Parker said sincerely. He might fall asleep during it, but he would definitely go just to be with Ryan.

The second Parker was on the plane to Chicago, a weight seemed to suddenly lift from his shoulders because while he was only nineteen at the time, he felt like he was suffocating in such a small town. He figured he could move to a bigger city, like Phoenix, but he knew he needed a bigger change. The constant worry and nagging he got from his parents was also getting on his nerves, so even if he would miss all of his friends, he needed an out, and as quick as possible. Chicago was like a godsend, and he never looked back. “Was lookin’ at places like New York and Miami too, but, I don’t know, Chicago just fuckin’ spoke to me, ya know?” Parker said, not entirely remembering why he picked Chicago, but he was almost certain it was on an impulse. It had an awesome nightlife and it was right by the water, what else could he have wanted? “Rent’s cheaper, too. So that’s a plus,” he added, despite the rent being insanely expensive too, especially now that he lived on his own.

“You’re so fucking smart, man,” Parker replied with a grin, leaning a little bit closer to Ryan so he could gently nudge his shoulder against his. “And I know I’m real glad you ended up here.” That was the honest truth. It didn’t hit him until recently just how much Ryan has changed his life for the better. Well, not exactly changed, but Ryan for sure made Parker realize that maybe, just maybe, he was more than the party guy. He could have more than he already had, if he wanted. Parker wasn’t sure if he wanted things to change just yet, but it was nice to know that someone supported him if he ever wanted to get sober.

“My question now, right?” Parker asked, his lips slowly pulling up into an amused smile. “How about, when was your first kiss? And when was your last? Besides me, obviously.”

Ryan wasn’t sure that Parker would genuinely want to go to a musical or play with him, but he hoped that if he could at least find one that Parker somewhat enjoyed, that he’d start looking at live shows in a different light. Ryan firmly believed that there was a show for everyone. He’d found a Netflix show that Parker had enjoyed, so maybe he could find a musical too. Plus it would be nice to have someone new to go with. He and Hunter still spent time together, but his friend had been significantly busier ever since he was introduced to Parker’s friend, surprisingly enough. Ryan was happy for Hunter, despite not having expected him to hit it off so well with someone so similar to someone like Parker. Though considering the situation he was in himself, he probably shouldn’t have been so surprised.

“I’d like that,” he replied, smiling at the thought of seeing a show with someone who had once told him that everything he did was boring. “I haven’t looked into what shows are coming this season to Chicago, but I’ll let you know if there are any you won’t fall asleep during,” he teased with a small smile. He could easily see Parker in any major city, but Ryan was glad his neighbor had chosen Chicago. Even though it’d taken them a while it not be constantly annoyed with one another, Ryan enjoyed Parker’s company, and he liked to think that Parker felt the same about him. Ryan knew he didn’t have particularly great taste in men, but he really hoped that Parker would be different, even if there were a dozen signs that he wouldn’t be. His heart raced a little as Parker complimented him and nudged his shoulder, a light blush in his cheeks as his eyes met Parker’s. “I’m glad I ended up here too,” he replied softly, hoping that he didn’t need to explain why.

Ryan nodded at Parker’s question, bracing himself as he noticed the other man’s smile because he knew nothing good would come of that. He almost let out a sigh of relief when he realized what the question was because he knew Parker could have come up with much worse, though he did still blush a little at Parker wanting to know. “Well, my last kiss before you was Aiden,” he answered because he thought that was fairly obvious. If not, it certainly wouldn’t be a surprise considering he’d been dating Aiden for a couple of months before they broke up. “My first kiss was my junior year of high school. Josh was the only other openly gay guy at my school, so I asked him to homecoming. We ended up not staying at the dance that long because too many people kept staring, so we went to the park a few blocks away and he kissed me there.”