Ocs!!!! Also follow me on tiktok @/solangeloemunens (ryuyuur)
— Now that I'm on meds, in therapy, and havent gone to school for nearly 2 months, i get to dabble in animation again!! Thsnk you. By the way. everybody on here is so sweet. There were times where i just read all the comments and reblogs crying in the bathroom to motivate myself to live. I know this wont be seen by a lot of people since it's... Heh... My ocs .. but yeah expect me to post more!! Especially on tiktok!! Thabk you everybody!! Anybody who sees thds
— i thought i wouldnt finish this ever (i started this a day before halloween LMAO) and even then i kind of half assed it, but nearly a month later….!! I’ve been too busy and barely have enough time to hold a pencil but they(solangelo) live in the back of my mind so…. On the other hand, i may have sacrificed art, but im at the top of my class for the last semester woooo
also people wouldnt mind if i started posting my ocs… right… nobodys going to look right……
very sleepy will (I dont have cotd yet yes im very sad about it)
im in a bit of a slump so i cant draw more than just ok doodles💔
(Unimportant ramble ahead about how solangelo saved my life, very skippable)
— sodry i have nobody to talk to about this. Anyways that was the craziest ~3 months of my life. I’ve entered senior high school and i’ve lost my mind more than 5 times in this damned institution. I’ve been at a science high school over here in the depths of hell (guess what country that is haha😐) for 6 years now, and I’ve finally snapped. I dont care anymore
I see myself so much in the two of them. I was so lost and I still am to this day, about what to do or who I'm supposed to be. I see all these responsibilities that I have to take upon myself—school, my younger sister, my family, friends. Hell, even my own image.
For 6 long years I've always felt the need to be the best, and that I'm supposed to be the strongest in the room because people need and love that. I see my friends just falling apart at the seams and I can't do anything other than keep being strong no matter how I feel just so I don't drag them further down.
It's burned into my head that I'm only important because of the things I can do. I can rank 1 in our tests, pass the prettiest project outputs, and I have to keep doing that over and over for everybody else because I'm not even sure who I am. the only people I see are those around me.
Surprise, surprise, that absolutely destroyed me. I became so burnt out and sick of everything and everybody that I disappeared for two weeks, not going outside, not texting anybody, skipped classes. Whatever. I hated everybody and I convinced myself that everybody also hated me. It felt so real that I couldn't face anybody because I thought they were thinking how awful I must be.
The one mantra I lived by ever since it was announced was "I just need to make it till cotd releases." And wow that actually kept me going. Every time something difficult happened, "I can't give up now cotd is releasing in September." LOL it's hilarious thinking back on it
Whenever a part of me broke I'd reread the cringiest parts of tsats and either cry harder or laugh, no inbetween. I write "Will Solace would do this" all over my reviewers because staring at those words when I was bored out of my mind studying was SOMEHOW enough to convince me to keep going (hes my favorite what can i say). When I was at the brink of shutting down I started rambling about solangelo to a random person in my contacts. I downloaded solangelo fics off of ao3 to read every time I wanted to give up on art (they were just so good). It's crazy, I don't understand what clicked for me but I just felt so much lighter ever since i got into pjo LOL
Now I'm in such a slump and I'm even more lost. But I do know I have cotd to look forward to (i cant get it in this stupid country yet unless I spend a fortune im afraid). I think every time to just drop everything I love, it doesn't matter, and I still have to return to everybody tomorrow. but then I feel all different when I remember this stupid stupid ship. They aren't real, so I always feel so lame for feeling so motivated to move when I recount all the things Nico and Will went through inside my head. I'm A FEW MONTHS FROM BEING A LEGAL ADULT but I find myself saying "if they can survive i can survive" and like... I've always felt so bittersweet towards them.
More so when I have my own Will to my Nico. I felt so attached to Will because of a certain someone I know..... (who made an account on tumblr to like my posts because I always told her how nobody would SORRYYY).
Anyhow, posting on here, I feel there is value to my art, that the things I write have essence. I've constantly opened tumblr to just reread everything everybody's said in the reblogs, the replies, whatever. And I always felt so full.
Stickers i made to slap onto my ipad and my 3ds!! (Theres also emunene)
Kitkat!! (The weird way)
Nico i did at 1 am out of sheer stress!!
An old wip i never finished!! (And theres… markiplier….)
Old old old doodles. theres a bunch of my old art of them and its so jarring to me because i drew so… differently… and that was like. 3 months ago!!
Anddddd thats pretty much it
Ps. Oh my godh guys thank you for everything—IT LOOKS LIKE IM OVERREACTING (im pretty much a nobody)!! but ive actually never felt and seen so much appreciation for my art, its crazy to me? This feels different. I just wanted to say thank you so soso much. And this is coming from somebody who pretty much hated her own art for so long. This is the world to me. And the world? Is Solangelo. Its coming full circle. yeah baby
— GUESS WHO’S SICK AGAIN!? also i cant draw much anymore because. school. but!! i try to!! this isn’t as much as the last one i drew but im still recovering from that behemoth lol
— This one burnt me out SO bad like im not even kidding i had to stop looking at it for a whole week lest i go crazy editing things only i see..... Anyways happy pride
im sick and i just had the most horrific time of my life but the grind never stops🔥🔥 THANK YOU by the way for all the nice comments i cried reading them:’)
Still on vacation but!! There was this swing by the shore and it was so...
Also I'm in a bit of a dilemma with my art and I kind of just posted for the funnies but seeing so many people like it... its so cheesy to say but it makes me happy?? Right, right,,, thank you!
**i had to go back in to move that damn eye over it was bugging me💀
