c o m p l e x e s

when i was drowning, that's when i could finally breathe. {side blog of kahlobean - trigger warning.}

[vilf-deactivated20210205]

cannot emphasize enough how good it is for you to make something with your hands. whether it’s cooking or knitting or drawing, it will nourish your soul. every time i cook i feel so much more energized and present, no matter how complicated or simple the dish is. and to hold the thing you made yourself in your hands, even if it didn’t turn out perfect, is even more beautiful. i promise that whatever you choose to make, it will help you in so many ways

[candybisous]

https://www.instagram.com/p/CG2lpOhFGJL/?ig

[teathattast]

the holy grail

[processintegrated]

wrong

im sure i am missing some but we’re getting there

[processintegrated]

[weirdmageddon]

[slowjamastan]

[ryumako]

[v-irgogh]

* ˚ . ⋆ ¸ ✧ ¸ * ˚ . ⋆ ¸ ¨ . • ` ¸ ✧ . * ˚

my mental health has been trash lately and i’m trying to embrace recovery (again) so i’ve made a new personal blog because the one i’ve been using up to this point has too much negativity and trauma tied to it n i don’t wanna use it anymore; so if we’re pals and u wanna keep up with what’s goin on in my life or u just have an affinity for ramblings and cute positive posts feel free to follow @rosewaterhopes thank u ! ☁️🌙🌸☁️

* ˚ . ⋆ ¸ ✧ ¸ * ˚ . ⋆ ¸ ¨ . • ` ¸ ✧ . * ˚

[s-hatterinqs]

I’m not angry. I’m not. I wouldn’t have the right to be even if I was. This is a situation of my own creation, unintentional or not. He has a right to be angry about it. I’m glad he’s said something.

I’m undoubtedly hurt though. It was stupid of me to think that it didn’t quite matter anymore, but it was wrong of him to let me think that. It hurts that he let me believe it was something we’d moved past, let me go almost a whole year without even really thinking about it anymore, and brought it up now. It hurts that he’s only now letting me know how deeply it hurt him. It hurts that for the past year he’s been thinking of this situation on the same level as his ex cheating on him and his dad cheating on his mom when ,, that’s not what this was. I didn’t cheat on him. We weren’t together. I didn’t know we were ever going to be. I didn’t know how I felt about him. I didn’t know how he felt about me. Kissing Dermot was a stupid spur-of-the-moment, classic Leanne “let a person who’s previously fucked you over fuck with your head again just because you want to feel something” mistake that I feel sick about because it’s a reminder of how rock-bottom everything felt back then, and I think in terms of how I felt after doing that I’ve more than paid the price for it but . I can’t add

Maybe I don’t have a right to be hurt either though. Maybe I deserve this.

[sakura-suna]

just a little bit of twirling

[v-irgogh]

I haven’t been happier to be alive all year I swear 😭💕

[wnq-writers]

Hero and villain. I have been both.

rustofstardust  (via wordsnquotes)

[s-hatterinqs]

"And all the wants / And all the needs / All I don't want to need at all..."

[s-hatterinqs]

Everything or almost everything, anyway felt so much easier yesterday I want to go back to yesterday I want to stroll around the UL campus without a fucking notion of where I'm going I want to sit in groups with perfect strangers and listen to them talk about their lives I want to stand in the concert hall singing about a God I don't even really believe in just for the sake of feeling like I'm a part of something I want to relive that "God Is" performance where we were all standing in almost complete darkness with just phone flashlights twinkling and being waved around in time to the music idk I just want to not feel so alone and well anything like I currently feel tbh lol :'))

[s-hatterinqs]

“There’s a book over here, Daphne read it once...and a chair, Daphne liked to sit in chairs”

Fred is me I am Fred help

[s-hatterinqs]

A part of me wasn't sure I'd enjoy today, but it ended up being one of those days that just made me insanely happy to be alive; it was actually perfect.

[s-hatterinqs]

me: *tells self i'll go to bed really early so that i don't end up collapsing at some point of tomorrow* me: *showers at 11pm*

[s-hatterinqs]

i’ve been so careful not to follow any pretty little liars blogs bc of spoilers and do u know what’s all over my dash

pretty little liars spoilers

pretty little liars spoilers reblogged by a taylor swift blog

this is actually worse than when i found out who gossip girl was

i

quit

[s-hatterinqs]

the weather is surprisingly nice for ireland and i had a fairly decent day but i’m so unnecessarily angry at everything @me why so aggressive. chill.

[s-hatterinqs]

*crosses fingers/toes/ties entire body into one giant knot in the hopes that ms. tierney schedules the seinn practice for my middle three classes tomorrow so that i can get out of geography and irish and therefore survive the rest of this week without wanting to die*

[s-hatterinqs]

I am far too emotionally fragile to be able to withstand such intense and elongated eye contact I'm still not sure I've started breathing again yet