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🥺🥺

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Janaina Medeiros
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@sabrinathecat
“dear”
“bubby”
🥺🥺
day 3 no gamingmas i’m starting to see dan howell in the corner of my room
dan and phil and cats
i really think they’re planning another tour and waiting until after to get a dog so they can actually take care of it
me when i find out the media i consumed during my formative years actually formed my personality
uh oh i have to consume all dnp content i have to i have to i have to i have to i have to i have to i have to i have to i have to i have to
it makes me so emotional watching dan and phil now and seeing how genuinely happy they both are 😭
dan is so incredibly fascinated by phil’s mind and so am i tbh
why have i seen so multiple instances of creations based off the dan goth gf tweet but calling him a goth Bf. she SAID goth gf
dan howell saying "girl-" whenever phil does something stupid, rb if u agree
sometimes i get randomly sad about dan and phil not getting to be openly gay earlier in their careers. it is what it is and it ended up being ok for them, but part of me wishes for them they could’ve felt safe enough for themselves
dan and phil have gone from “giving the people what they want” to “we can do whatever the fuck we want so watch your backs” and that’s truly the energy i’m living for
something something night changes
I know everyone is jokingly bashing on dan and phil for oversharing but on a more genuine note it is so nice to be able to see these two so happy and open after years of seeing them harassed on the internet over every minor thing they did
imagine how weird it would be, if one day you decide to upload silly little videos on a small website for fun. you meet someone you like and you start making those silly little videos with them. you are still learning who you are but feel comfortable enough with this person to do these videos because, “only a few people will see it”. suddenly they start to get more popular and people start not only noticing your relationship and personal life, but have opinions on it and want to know more.
people love your personalities and find you entertaining, but the internet is still new and parasocial relationships have never really existed or been talked about before, so there are no boundaries set.
over time you realize you are becoming more popular and need to be careful what you put out there, still struggling with self acceptance and relationships with family. it becomes an actual reliable source of income and before you know it you’re going on world tours and selling books, merch, and hosting radio shows and meeting celebrities.
the whole time you’re still struggling internally and the invasion from the audience on your personal life has only gotten worse. old videos are brought up from the time when you thought maybe 20 people would see them, and it’s traumatizing. but you continue on, being strong for yourself and your partner. you are forced to acknowledge and talk about things you want to forget and can’t delete and every little thing you do is analyzed like crazy
eventually after 10 years you finally learn to love and accept yourself and recognize the intricacies of the situation you’re in. you’ve persevered and come out stronger than ever after all the hard times, and all with your partner alongside you dealing with the exact same things. things are in your control now. you reached this part of your life all because of some silly videos you uploaded 14+ years ago.
i feel like this is something we all forget. i tried to think of this as if it was myself, because for a lot of us “dan and phil” were just a couple of youtubers we hyperfixated on as weird teens, seeing them as just a form of entertainment and not really real people. looking at it this way really just highlights that disconnect.
dan and phil have absolutely every right to fuck with us and say whatever they want now. after dealing with all this i can’t imagine what it must’ve been like and the strength it all must have taken..
of course this isn’t even the extent i’m sure of what it was like but it’s what i gather from things they’ve talked about before. and honestly good for dan and phil for not hating us 😅
yeah it's so crazy if you think about it. like. nowadays being a youtuber is such a standard thing. i mean idk about you, but i literally started watching youtubers as a child and the concept of being a youtuber is like normal for me. but imagine being one of the first youtubers. and going through the evolution of youtube on the other side of it. like you start filming little silly videos and then bam you're famous and have parasocial demon phfans. literally no one has gone through what dnp have gone through before them, like ever. they have such a unique experience like even from just a purely non-fan psychological/anthropological point of view. like wow if i think about it too much i start shaking a little bit. in this essay i will
i want dnp to write a tell all autobiography or do a two hour long interview where they like seriously talk about this experience and how they feel about it