NOW IT CAN BE TOLD!

NOSTALGIA FOR A TIME THAT NEVER EXISTED! THE NAKED TRUTH BROUGHT TO YOU UNCENSORED, IN ALL ITS SHOCKING DETAIL! Unsourced posts probably contain original material, except in cases where they don't.

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"Medley", huh? That's exactly one (1) piece of cauliflower. https://www.instagram.com/p/CLiKuwxDIXx/?igshid=f6txy9lncrwf

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Good for Carmen Miranda for turning down this role. I don't think much of the impersonator they cast instead. https://www.instagram.com/p/CC6067UjZE-/?igshid=bvyhb8scmk12

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Yeah, gimme a box of Milk Duds, a bottle of Bub-L-Pep, and a $10 war bond. https://www.instagram.com/p/CAef8xDjdRP/?igshid=117ab6wcu2o84

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My 3-year-old ate half a banana. https://www.instagram.com/p/CAVTRnrjPsl/?igshid=1p3zkivs6sik0

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Because good fun in bath just isn't cutting it these days. https://www.instagram.com/p/B-rkfY0jNiD/?igshid=1hwjqap6pntan

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Tea with a T-Rex at the public library is the least annoying use of these dinosaur costumes. https://www.instagram.com/p/B7wAaQ-nLjg/?igshid=1qa64bkyc0fpi

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This is how my 3-year-old eats pizza. https://www.instagram.com/p/B7mr23mHAFH/?igshid=1vrpc6lfb98xc

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Regular butter is for pussies. https://www.instagram.com/p/B7e__KHnvL3/?igshid=18xvi2lhvog30

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What I make my movie, the smallest characters are going to have names so the actors can put them on a resume. https://www.instagram.com/p/B1cbWlAn3Bf/?igshid=1a2y94mwfotce

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Oh, come on. What are you, twelve years old? https://www.instagram.com/p/BzwI4oBnEow/?igshid=1v5ovu48nhy0g

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Currently mastering the art of Snapchat harassment. https://www.instagram.com/p/BzrJpkln8IT/?igshid=xla3vgpc24x5

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One customer review, and it's not even a review. https://www.instagram.com/p/ByK5dDInb0O/?igshid=otxxfp7a9soa

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If your key lime pie tastes like fish, the you're eating the wrong key lime pie. https://www.instagram.com/p/BxL7OMfnelQ/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1vciz4z0zt8nf

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I feel like he could have spent a little more time on coming up with a title. https://www.instagram.com/p/BwK7bg2nDWR/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=lz1bkpkyi113

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Shorts weather has returned (for a limited engagement)! https://www.instagram.com/p/BwAScchnvi2/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=vnriv552t5sj

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