Sad Art Comics @sadartcomics - Tumblr Blog

When the song first released, I started listening to it thinking of you. I would listen to it everyday. I couldn’t have you with me but the song felt like you were with me. Today, they are celebrating 4 years of the song. And I am celebrating 4 years with you. The difference is that, I am celebrating alone.

You ARE the one. But you are so soft, i am scared I will ruin you. I don’t want to be the one to ruin love for you knowing that you look forward to that feeling so fucking much. Your idea of love is so pure. It hurts me so much. I want to love you, to be loved by you but honey it comes with a lot of things. I am the worst human being alive to make you go through this. You don’t belong with me. Someone more balanced, more tidy deserves it. Who can keep it safe, keep you safe. I am sorry. I got your hopes high. Goodbye love. I loved you. To be in love with you, it is the best feeling ever.

Sometimes I wonder, where did I go wrong to face this. Face the present. What have I done? The will to live all along. “It gets better”, I repeated to myself only to face the worst. The emotions I feel for you are now a burden. They used to be so pure, so lovely. I always told myself that no matter what, I will always hold onto them even if you don’t. You never did but I didn’t let go of them. Never. How many times must the history repeat? How many times must I shed tears for the same reason? How many times must I think of ending everything? But I tell myself “It gets better.”, “Hold on.”. My hands have loosen their skin, blood shedding. I want to feel nothing. There is beauty in nothingness than in violence. I am violent. Not towards anyone else but me. Forcing myself to hold onto you. Always, hoping you will understand. I think i was wrong. But I will hold on.