F U C K Y O U

• e m o t i o n l e s s •

[hell-o-goodbye]

[justforthedeadd]

[antirammist]

[sickromantics]

[xvisualtreasure09x]

[li4r]

[searchhousing]

[marruzan0va]

[deformutilated]

[nothereanymorebyebye]

[00-buck-dich]

[rai93betto]

[cyber-fa1ry]

[exiiee]

[terrible-reflection]

[foreverfluidfantasy]

[sadboyluxas]

05 / 04 / 22

It’s five in the morning and I’m running off of little sleep. Maybe 3 hours last night and a nap earlier. I am so tired of being alive. I want someone to tell me what the point is. Because right now, all I am doing is living a miserable existence. Im uncomfortable in my body everyday. I’m tortured with thoughts and delusions. I’m watching people I love die right before me. I’m working a dead end job. I’m paying to stay in a room that, one, I’m not even staying in, and two, this house isn’t even mine. I fucking hate this. Why would anyone want to fucking be alive right now? The only thoughts I have in my head are ones that fucking destroy me, and yet it seems to be the only thing I can feel. So when it’s constant numbness with a hint of crippling loneliness, suicidal thoughts, paranoid thoughts and delusions, it’s unbearable. What do you do when you don’t want to live? You can’t talk to someone, because putting that weight on them will push them away. They will crumble under the pressure and leave or they won’t know how to help and that will make them feel worse. So I tend to keep it to myself. I feel so shoved full of thoughts and emotion, that I think I need to cut breathing holes to even be able to function. I’m not living. This is not a fucking life that I’m leading right now. This is a nightmare