man i’m so tired of being such a fuckup
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@sadpubbywhines
man i’m so tired of being such a fuckup
im so sorry for being me
i want to talk about how i’ve been feeling but i just can’t bring myself to because i don’t want to seem like i want attention or bring him down
not being able to recognize my tone of voice is the worst thing that’s ever fucking happened to me and is genuinely ruining my life
sometimes i wish i could just mask all the time again. id rather be guilty for things i can control like being a prick than feel so bothersome and guilty and disgusting for my behaviors and quirks i can’t control
i did everything i was supposed to go feel good today why do i still feel so terrible
how do i express im struggling without having to express it
worried
i don’t think i’ve felt this bad since i was like 14 and my pathetic attempts at asking for help are so muddy that they’re not understood as what i intend for them to be and i’m so frustrated with myself for not being able to articulate what i want or need bc ig i don’t even know and now i’m paranoid that he’s not going to want to have to deal w me or put up w me feeling *this* bad
pov a netflix show has u questioning everything abt ur current life n thinking maybe everyone in ur life would be happier if you were just a 10x better version of urself w/o all the negative bullshit
feeling guilty makes me feel disgusting and makes my stomach hurt so bad and i feel so terrible i literally would rather die than keep messing up like i have been
i don’t mean to be such a pain and frustrate you when i get overwhelmed and shut down i’m sorry u have to deal with me
if i could curl into a ball and hide forever i think that would be very nice and would solve my anxiety
i love ruining everything it’s my favorite pass time and i’m really good at it yay
i don’t understand why she has to be so mean to me just because she doesn’t feel well, as if i feel any better
why am i the worst lol
i just wanna be held and told it’s okay instead of have to wallow in my own tears and horrible fucking thoughts but i can’t even ask for support when i need it the most so i guess it’s my fault i don’t get what i want at the end of the day
i didn’t mean to annoy you, i just can’t tell how you feel and sometimes when you don’t tell me i get nervou
ouchy my chest hurts
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