@taylorswift I know that you will probably never read it, but I NEED to somehow try and show you how much I am grateful for all the times you helped me. There are so many things I want to tell you but I’ll start with a little story, it’s hard to talk about it, in fact I have never spoken openly to anyone. I went through an extremely difficult time, I “ lost ” someone I loved, in fact I do not even know if I ever really had him completely, my first love, who was also my best friend, he did some not so cool things and definitive removal was the only solution I found. I never felt so unnecessary and inadequate when it happened, when I discovered it, I spent days crying without knowing what to do, I was just trying to find reasons for that, and trying to understand why I was not enough, I was angry even though I had done nothing wrong. I kept trying to find fault in me to justify what he did. After days blaming me I realized that I did everything possible and impossible to work out, I made many sacrifices, and that was wrong, it was him. I was lost, you could not imagine my life without that routine, WITHOUT HIM. It’s funny that some people when they have no arguments to attack you use the type arguments “she only writes about ex boyfriends,” and to me it was a great help, that’s exactly what helped me. His experiences transformed into music, your way of seeing life, a way to overcome and continue his way, made me see everything in a different way. I heard 1989 several times while thinking at all, I paid attention to each letter, I imagined myself there, and it was after that I found that I realized that I have love to spare my life, love my family, my friends, I realized that love never failed in my life and that I would be happy again. I think “Clean” can perfectly sum it all up: “Just because you’re clean, don’t mean you don’t miss it”. I understand that longing will exist forever, but I did not take that as a bad thing, or something that will destroy me, on the contrary, everything that happened made me love me more, made me have a confidence in myself that I didn’t have before. I realized that if I was not good enough for someone does not mean it can not be good for others. I do not let myself give up on love, I saw that there are many forms of love, there are other ways to be happy. And no one better than you to help me in this. Your overflowing love Taylor, I pass it to people. You taught me so many things without even knowing you helped me in difficult times. I do not think idol is only a person who makes you feel beautiful and sing well, it’s much more than that, I think idols make a difference in people’s lives, and you, more than anyone, made all the difference in my life. I love you with all my heart, thank you for existing!
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