Construction is a hard job. Rewarding, for sure, but hard.
I always want the very best from my staff whenever I open or invest in a new business, which means finding the best benefits while keeping costs down.
Well, I've found a way to kill two pigs with one stone - hire a longpig who'll work for food and the chance to be roasted up by the best in the business.
Baby Back here is formerly property of the Golden Spings Ranch down in Texas, which has specialized in longpig since long before it was legalized. He was raised for his meat, with the hopes that one day he'd be selected to cook for a real gourmet chef. Sure, once he reached 18 he was given the choice to walk away, but the Golden Springs Ranch has a 95% rate of pigs electing to get eaten - one of the best in the business of longpig farming.
Ever since he got the coveted S grade for his pork he's known he'll sell for a high price - and with me opening my latest restaurant in Dallas, I knew I wanted to reward my staff with the level of food I'll be serving. Even brought the Foreman with me to the Ranch to pick the pig.
Baby Back's role on the site is simple: he'll eat, take care of some of the simple jobs, advertise the business to any hungry guys trying to snap him up, and offer stress relief to the staff. Of course, his "uniform" is just underwear and a jacket, so he can show off his meat all the time - and just a glance at that prime pork is enough to get the guys working harder.
As soon as construction is finished, I'll be cooking a private dinner for the construction crew, investors, and a few restaurant critics. I'll be cutting off Baby Back's arms and legs for use as appetizers and side dishes, stuffing him with a bbq pulled longpork stuffing, and covering him in a maple BBQ glaze before I impale him on the spit.
Baby Back is delighted with his upcoming fate - after all, you don't get more gourmet than me. Even though he's kept on a strict vegetarian diet - he's never even tasted meat - he knows his place on the food chain, and that a pig like him is going to be the best meal of a lot of these guys will ever eat.
Of course, that's the carrot - I need a stick, as well: all of my construction projects operate on a three strike policy for minor infractions, and one strike for big ones. Any guys that work on my construction projects do it knowing that if they don't do the job they're tasked with, then I'll recoup my investment - either by butchering them to save on catering costs, selling them for meat, or coming home with me. From this project alone I've made $50,000 from sales, saved $10,000 on feeding the crew, and got a Jamaican pig fattening up in a cage in the basement. He was one of the hungriest of them all, so I hope he'll appreciate the irony that his pork will make for some amazing stuffing.












