in my dream we ride bikes and joke for hours. we laugh together, you touch my hand, my hair, and it feels like the start of something beautiful. i am strange and awkward around you, but at that time, you seem to slowly disarm me. we have long talks full of meaning, talks i don’t have with anyone else, really, but i crave them like a glass of fresh water after a long run. and when i come to my senses, we are like dancers swinging to the same rhythm. i look and look at you, i can swear you see me too. but reality checks and comes in the way, you go back to her, to love her, and i pretend those last few hours didn’t mean the world to me. you stay with her for a while and things feel different when you’re back. you feel… colder. and i ask you why is that, what is it that you fear. you say our proximity might have led to something else, something that’s not supposed to happen. if it felt like that, i ask, isn’t that a sign to trust your gut? if it made you feel something, shouldn’t you follow those feelings instead of running from them? you look at me in silence. i wake up.