Nocturnal Thoughts @saidwrick - Tumblr Blog

997

karma got its kiss for me……. thats 2017 in one video

997

im still so obsessed

surprisebitch

more like 2020 mood, she’s so ahead of her time

saidwrick

She did the breakdown on behalf of all of us

taylord326

Edge me while I play video games

goodbadhabit

If you need cardio in your workout

I ummm

I know a way

Captain's log | 07-17-2026

I've lived through so many wounds that I have forgotten what it feels like not to flinch at the slightest sign of displeasure. Whenever someone's tone shifts or their silence lingers too long, I instinctively search for my own wrongdoing. I wonder if I said too much, too little, or became something burdensome without realizing it. Somewhere along the way, I learned to make myself the culprit before anyone else ever could.

My first instinct is never anger or confusion—it is guilt. I carry it so naturally that I scarcely question its presence anymore. I convince myself that if someone is hurting or upset, then I must have placed the hurt there with my own hands. And though I know, in quieter moments, that not every storm is of my making, my heart has yet to learn what my mind already understands.

What pains me most is not that I do this once, but that I do it over and over again. I become both the wound and the one who deepens it. I ache for a version of myself that did not learn to apologize simply for existing. And there are days when I grieve knowing that I do not know how to undo what trauma has taught me—to stop blaming myself for every fractured moment and to finally believe that not everything broken was broken by my hands.

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