Imagine yourself in 50 years, if you’re even lucky enough to make it that long.Your grandchildren are playing in your backyard. They’re asking you to come out and play with them, but you’re too weak and tired. Your son asks you to meet his new girlfriend, but you keep making excuses because you are too ugly, too fat and she will judge you.Your marriage is slowly falling apart because you’re too detached and (s)he is sick of trying. Imagine yourself in 30 years, if you’re even lucky enough to make it that long.You’re on your way to the grocery store to get your safe foods.All you see is numbers, fat, protein, sugar, carbs, too much, too this, too that. You end up getting exactly the same things you always get.Your partner comes home from work and kisses you on your forehead. (S)he no longer kisses you on your mouth because your breath smells like death, and it’s too much for them to bear. Your kids are always asking you to do things with them, but you don’t have time because you have to plan your food or exercise. Imagine yourself in 10 years, if you’re even lucky enough to make it that long.You’re done with school, and you tell yourself that now is the time for change. And as you say those words your stomach rumbles, and you start the new you by eating a rice cake.Your friends(the few that are left) are asking you to go out with them, but you’re too busy, something family related has happened, you don’t feel well.You spend every day looking at recipes that you will never get to taste. You go into bakeries and bakery sections in grocery stores just to look at the food, but you never buy anything. Imagine yourself in a year, if you’re even lucky enough to make it that long.You are sick and tired of being sick and tired, but there’s nothing you can do.You have given up, and you feel everyone else giving up on you too, but you don’t blame them. Everyone else is moving on, but you’re stuck feeling miserable and lonely. Every day is a struggle, and you can’t seem to find the light. Imagine yourself tomorrow. You have the power to create your future. Start with tomorrow, or even better, start today. You have a life to live, but if you don’t choose recovery, you will never know just how beautiful and exciting that life could be. You have been fighting to hold on to your eating disorder.Now is the time to fight to let go.
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