Within the Inbetween
Yandere!Limbus Company x Reader
Warnings: Obsession and other general yandere behaviors, MC is recovering bit by bit from massive trauma, dark themes, mentions of death, blood, gore, mental breakdown, smoking, non-sexual nudity (not graphic), this is an inbetween chapter
Note: Ahab x Reader oneshots are next <333
Tags: @piercing-gaze
--☆☆☆☆☆--
...beautiful...
A sweet voice whispers in your head, dragging you from haunting nightmares of the day's events.
You didn't even... and yet...
Who... is... this... voice..?
...you afraid of me... ...no need for that...
It's... fuzzy. So very fuzzy.
...confused... I understand... cannot hear me...
Like radio static.
My name...
Wait... could
it be..?
...know me?... see...
It
can't
be
...
...losing connection... you soon...
C
a
r
m
e
n
.
.
?
--☆☆☆--
Suddenly, air is rushing into your lungs. For a moment, you feel almost as if you're falling, and in your panic you squirm and fuss and fight and-
You feel the push cushions of a familar chair and the feeling of fabric and metal against your clothes.
You breathe, deep ragged breaths that almost hurt. The light of the room stings your eyes, and you realize where you are. When you are. And what you are.
...
A sigh creeps from your throat. And you realize you feel asleep on the chair after crying because...
Because...
...
No. You're not remembering that right now. You're distracting yourself.
Your gaze instead moves to look around the room. Dante's room, which you just so happen to technically share now...
It's... simple. Almost reminds you of a small hotel room, in a way. Bed that's neatly made with the covers tucked in with a professionalism only someone who's done it for years could do. Clean desk with nothing on top. Closed bathroom and closet doors, as well as the door that leads to the rest of the bus being closed. The chair is nestled into a corner of the room, which is... nice.
You think Vergilius might've done this. You... should thank him later.
...
But why would he do this..?
No answers come to your head. You don't know why. You don't think he'd tell you if you did ask.
Oh well.
Your gaze flicks down to the... mementos you chose to keep. Mementos of her.
...
She's dead. You failed to save her.
Tears sting your eyes as you immediately stand up, feeling nauseous. Feeling miserable. You're still stained in blood too. Some of it her's...
...
You shudder, almost crying as you clutch the items to your chest. A whine creeps from your throat. A pathetic, miserable sound you hate.
You just... want to hide. Want to leave. You want to go home. But you don't look human anymore.
Are you even a human anymore?
Then the door slides open, and there stands Dante, arms full of various snacks and a couple bottles of water. The hands of their clock-head tick slightly before returning to their original position, and their non-existent eyes widen upon noticing you awake.
"[Name]!" Dante calls out, completely relieved as they dumped the food on the desk and dart over to you, "You're awake!"
"Uh... yeah..." You mumble back, feeling... numb. It's not a pleasant feeling.
Dante notices your dismay at the events you experienced.
"...are you-?"
"No I am not fine." You snap, "I- I am not feeling good. At all. I- I- I really just..."
You trail off before you can say something that will make them realize you're a fake as your thoughts swirl. Churning with anger and fear and self-loathing.
You wish you never woke up.
You wish you never came here.
You wish you died instead of her.
"...sorry."
"No- no! It's fine, [Name], really." Dante stutters out, "I can't imagine what you're thinking about... everything. It's okay."
No, it's not.
"...mhm."
"..." Dante and you awkwardly stare at each other in a tense silence.
"...I'm sorry, I'm not able to answer your questions with everything I saw today-" "Do you want to shower?"
Both of you pause as you speak at once, staring at eachother in faint embarrassment.
"P- pardon?"
"Shower. I mean, you're kinda..." They trail off, gesturing at your bloodstained form, "...I was wondering if you'd like to clean yourself off. There should be a laundry room too, if I remember what Faust said earlier."
A warm shower actually sounds... really nice.
But...
"I... don't have any other clothes." You mumble, immediately stumbling out a lie, "I- I thought the contract would be- uh- short term, ya know? Like... one day. Not... longer. So... I have nothing else to wear."
Dante thinks. "I have other clothes. Like- other trenchcoats! You could wear that, right?"
"...a trenchcoat with practically nothing underneath?"
At your uncertain query, you swear you see Dante blush.
"I- uh-"
...what other choice do you have?
"...sure, just until my clothes are clean."
"Okay- okay!" Dante nods, clock whirring as they scamper over to grab a trenchcoat and hand it over to you. You shift Yuri's coat into one arm, gently taking the coat. Dante watches you as you hesitantly walk into the bathroom, setting down the clothes and peaking into the shower.
"...Dante! There's no shampoo!"
"...oh- uh-" Dante peeks their head in, "I mean..."
"...I know it's cus ya don't have hair, but..." You trail off, "...I'd like to wash mine."
"Would... normal shampoo even work with your hair?"
"Probably- yes- why?"
"I- who would you even get shampoo from?"
You... didn't think of that.
Your thoughts have mostly been about... what happened. Not thinking about the fact Dante has no reason to have ANY hair products.
"...let me... figure it out." You mumble, mind buzzing.
Who should you ask? Someone who has hair as long as your... new, weirdly long hair. Lets see... there's Ishmael, but... she doesn't like you much from what you can tell...
Maybe Hong Lu? He seems like he'd be fine with it. But... he'd probably ask a lot of questions and drive you near insane. He's a sweet man, but he does appear kinda dense...
...well, there is one person who absolutely likes you and probably will agree.
"...I'll be right back."
"Where are you going?"
"Just going to borrow some shampoo and stuff... probably some conditioner, too. Just 'cause my hair is all smoke-like doesn't mean it can't get tangled, so..." You trail off, wishing you were just... feeling better. You don't know.
You wish you knew exactly what to do and how to get home. And how to be normal again... You hated this.
"Do you want me to come with you? I'm fine with-"
"Oh- oh! Don't worry, I can do this alone." You nod slightly, "Trust me."
"Are you sure?" Dante asks, "I'm seriously fine with-"
"No, no. Trust me. Let me do this alone. Please."
"...okay."
Dante hesitantly steps aside, and you start to go, before realizing those blades are following you.
"...stay." You order them, noticing them drooping slightly, "...I'm just getting shampoo. Stay here and wait."
They tap against eachother, the faint clanging of metal making the wings on your face twitch.
"I'll get the duct tape again."
That makes them relent as they lean themselves against the chair. You sigh, and leave, not noticing the fact Dante's been just... staring at you.
If they had eyelids, they wouldn't be blinking.
Because they're starting to like staring at you the most.
--☆☆☆--
Upon leaving Dante's room, you realize that the bus is structured much differently than your exhausted mind processed the other day. Apparently, the doors just open to whatever room you need them too.
Which was... actually pretty convenient.
And they say this world doesn't have magic... "advanced tech" my ass...
At least that meant the first door you knocked on happened to be Rodya's.
"Mmm? Oh, Squishy~!" Rodya muses, leaning against the door frame with a casual air and a faint grin that almost eases you. "Came here to visit me, hm?"
"Y- yeah. Sorta." You admit, fidgeting as the feathers on your tail ruffle slightly. Rodya notices the haunted look in your eyes, and your bloodstained form, and relaxes.
"Haven't you bathed yet?" She asks you, a hand absent-mindedly tangled in her hair.
"Uhm... no... I was about to, but..." You trail off, unsure of how to word this in the most polite way you can.
Rodya's been nothing but nice to you... isn't it kinda rude to just... ask her for bathing products?
Gah-! Stop second guessing yourself!
"Dante doesn't really got any shampoo in their shower, so-"
"Ooh! You want to use my shower, hm?" Rodya asks, her grin almost brightening as she looks amused, "Well, who am I to say no to someone like you? Come on in~"
Your face flushes (you honestly wonder how your blush looks like since your skin is red) and you stutter. "I- I- I don't-"
"Oh, no need to be nervous~" Rodya coos, pulling you into her room, "Come on, you've been nothing but a sweetheart to me, this is the least I could do~ and think of it as my apology for the little bug incident earlier, hm?"
"I- Rodya! I was just gonna ask to borrow some shampoo and maybe conditioner!" Damn her grip is STRONG! "I- I don't need to use your shower-!"
Rodya pauses, grin faltering. It's back to normal almost immediately, though, and she lets out a disarming giggle. "Oh, really? Should've just started that, hm?"
"Uh... sorry..?" Your voice is uncertain, which is driving you up the wall.
Out of everyone who could've been stuffed into a situation like this... little old you is stuck here. Uncertain. Confused. Alone. And having no idea what you're doing.
Ugh... someone else should've been sent here instead of you... someone who would know what to do.
Someone who could've actually saved Yuri.
Unlike you.
A failure.
"Okay, c'mon then. You can have some of my stuff~ just give it back when you're done, alright?" Rodya asks, tugging you along into the bathroom, grabbing and stuffing some- definitely cheap- hygiene products into your arms. You fumble them, managing to hold onto them on as you nod frantically and yelp out a series of thanks and you scamper out and off into Dante's room again, ignoring Rodya's bemused stare and Dante- flinching as you dart past them and into the bathroom as they step out- and you shut the door behind you.
You press your back to the door, feeling unusually embarrassed.
Was... her tone flirty? Goddammit, you can't recognize when people flirt with you...
You groan, setting down the products Rodya lent you, and look into the mirror weakly.
...
Oh.
You look... different.
Your face isn't human like. You thought it was, but... it clearly isn't. No... its got a smooth, curved, snout rather than a normal face. No nose, but two slit-like nostrils instead. Gold pieces embedded in your skin, specifically between your eyes where your nosebridge would be and under your eyes.
Speaking of your eyes... they're mismatched. One eye has a black scelra and a cat-like pupil, and the other... the one you got shot through... it's a clock. A white clock that's continuously ticking and appears to show the time.
And... your hair is super fucking long, waving out and moving like smoke, especially at the ends. Black in color, almost like it got burnt. It's pulled back with a white string, because you know it'd get in your face if it wasn't and would drive you insane. And four black wings, small and two on each side, are on the sides of your face. Right in front of your ears. And, speaking of your ears, they're pointed and tipped in gold. Clashing against the red skin.
...
This isn't your face. This isn't your skin. This isn't your body. It's a fake you've been stuffed into. Like you're stuck in a skinsuit that isn't yours.
But... now is the best time to familiarize yourself with the body you're trapped in, hm?
You have to shower anyways...
...
You have to shower anyways.
So, you tug off your bloody clothes, dropping them on the ground, and you look over your body.
Skin still red... gold bits embedded in the flesh... those semi-large black wings sticking out from a bit above your tailbone... that giant ass tail... claws on your feet, which also look like a weird mix between talons and normal human feet.
You look over your entirely black claws on your hand. They look slightly like normal fingernails, but long. Pointed. Hell, it almost looks like...
Huh..? Calligraphy pen tips?
Upon closer inspection... yeah. Your claws are shaped to both look like functional claws and calligraphy pens.
...weird. Really, uncomfortably weird. You swore they looked like normal claws earlier...
You sigh, just relieved your... other parts... still look like normal human parts. And your body looks mostly human.
...just shower. Shower and don't think about... it.
...
You need to talk to Gregor when you get the chance.
--☆☆☆--
"So... the laundry detergent is supposedly able to wash blood off on it's own?" You ask, staring skeptically at the little pod you pulled from an ominous metal box.
"So I was told." Hong Lu muses, "Is it not supposed to?"
"I mean, back home, no laundry detergent easily washed out blood." You confess, "I'd have to break out stuff like vinegar and lemon juice on the occasion my cat would meander back in from his breakouts to eviscerate a rodent on my carpet or clothes."
"Really?" He asks, peaking over your shoulder at the mix of your and his laundry. "Now what?"
"Usually I just toss in whatever detergent I use..." You explain, continuing your little impromptu lesson of teaching Hong Lu how to to laundry (he was just contemplating the machine when you came in) as you toss in the detergent. "Then you close the lid, and- based off the size of the load- you adjust the settings and click start... if this washing machine is like any I've dealt with before."
You don't really trust this washing machine... sure, Faust absolutely designed it to be fool-proof, but doesn't mean it may be free from being unnecessarily complicated...
So you just toss in the detergent, shut the lid, double-check the settings look good (they appear to), and silently pray as you press start.
...
You and Hong Lu watch it buzz to life, and you sigh in relief as it appears to be working.
"So... do ya get it?" You ask, looking over at him, "It's mostly just... put in laundry, put in funny pod, make sure settings work for size of laundry, and click start."
"Ah~" Hong Lu smiles, nodding slightly. "Yes, appears rather simple. It's so strange that this is how laundry is done."
Yep... that's the rich boy, alright. Dammit... you wish you researched Canto 8 before you were brought here... all you know is everything up to Canto 3, then bits of information from Canto 4 to Canto 7, and Canto 8... you're in the dark.
Not to mention... you were brought here before they released Canto 9. All you know is that's Ryōshū's Canto.
But after that... absolutely nothing.
So you gotta figure out how to undo 'you being a demon' and figure out how to go home before Canto 8.
"How does a dryer work?"
Hong Lu's question makes you flinch, and you look over.
"Uh... well..." You quickly get your thoughts together. "Well... washer has about an hour to finish. So... how about we let that finish, and then meet back up here, and I show you how the dryer functions?"
"Okay!" Hong Lu says with a bright smile.
He's super whimsical, but... didn't what just happen leave any impact on him?
"...hey... uh... not sure if this is my place to ask but..." You hesitate, before spitting the question out, "Are you okay?"
"Hm?" Hong Lu gives you a confused look, slightly tilting his head.
"I mean..." You advert your eyes, "...don't you feel... regretful? Horrified? Remorseful? Anything like that?"
"...do you?" Hong Lu asks.
You flinch at that, wings poofing up as your head almost snaps back over to stare at him with wide eyes.
Well... you do, but should you reveal to Hong Lu that..?
...
You've done almost nothing but lie since you got here. Some truth would be nice.
"...yeah." You admit, hesitating to elaborate.
"...well," Hong Lu placidly smiles at you. "There's no need for that."
...oh.
You take a deep breath, nodding slightly. "Uhm... okay."
Hong Lu smiles at you (at least it reaches his eyes?). He doesn't move, though.
You silently stare at him. Then, in the corner of your eye, you see a flash of hot pink.
What the..?
Your head snaps to see what it was, but there's nothing.
"What are you looking at?" Hong Lu asks you, peering over your shoulder to see what you're staring at.
"NOTHING-!" You blurt out, "I- I just thought I saw something. Just... my eyes playing tricks on me."
Hong Lu stares at you with a curious look, his mismatched eyes sparkling.
"...I'm gonna go... see the others." You mumble, adjusting Yuri's bag, and quickly leaving before Hong Lu can say to you another word.
You think you hear him thank you, but you pay it no mind.
Because you swear you just got a glimpse of Yuri.
--☆☆☆--
The main passenger cabin of the bus is, thankfully, practically empty. There is Charon and Vergilius, of course, but there's also Faust, Yi Sang, and... Gregor.
...
He didn't get the gas mask, didn't he? No... it's on the bag.
"Uhm... hey." You mumble to him, relieved he's towards the back of the bus. It snaps him out of his thoughts, and he looks at you in surprise. Then his gaze relaxes slightly.
"Hey." He calmly replies.
Faust glances up from her tablet, but you ignore her burrowing stare.
"...mind if I sit next to you?" You ask, smiling sheepishly.
"Ah- sure, bud. Sure." He nods at you, and you sit next to him. You notice him move his bug-like arm away, almost... nervous about it.
...
You remember you didn't see that final memory because Yuri never died by the apple.
...
You set the bag in your lap, a tad bit nervous.
"So... how are you doing..?" You ask, looking at him, "After what..."
You trail off. You both know what you're talking about.
"...I'm... fine." He tells you. "...ish."
"Fine-ish." You echo, "Fair enough."
You tap your hands against your thigh idly, being relieved at how long Dante's coats are, because you feel much less self-conscious than if they were short.
Gah- focus...
"...you were... kinda close with her too." You murmur, "Do- do you want something to remember her by..?"
Gregor raises an eyebrow, then recognizes the bag. He tenses, taking a deep drag of his cigarette, and nods slightly. "Sure. Thanks, bud."
You offer him the bag, and he starts trying to take off the gas mask.
Ah, yeah... in-game, that was what he took. Why wouldn't he take it now..? Excluding the fact Aya lived wile Yuri...
...
You help him undo the knot on the gas mask, considering he's only trying to use one hand, and quickly look away once your hands brush against his.
You two silently sit next to one another, the awkward air almost buzzing between you two like flies on rotting meat.
"...I'm sorry." You whisper to him. You can't ignore these feelings. You really can't.
"...for what?" He asks, giving you a look that has a hint of concern.
"For... failing." You admit, "I got her away from that Abnormality, but... I couldn't stop that... that fucking woman..."
You grit your teeth, feeling your snout wrinkle. You half think you're unconsciously bearing your sharp teeth.
"...I just feel like I should've done more."
"Well, you're not alone in that." Gregor tells you, pulling a second cigarette from his pack and offering it to you. "Want one? It'll help you relax."
You hesitate, never really smoking before, but...
"...sure. Though, I will admit, I've never really smoked before, so..." You shrug, taking and awkwardly holding the thing. Sure, lung damage sucks ass, but... eh, this body isn't even yours. What's the harm?
"Eh, don't worry." He tells you, helping you light the thing. "Just let me know if you need any help."
You try taking a drag, slightly choke, and cough as you try to figure out how it works. Gregor pats you on the back as you realize that the cigarette tastes like shit, but maybe the happy chemical takes a moment to kick in, eh?
So you try again, and- while the taste sucks- you don't wheeze and hack out smoke again.
And you two smoke in silence, but it doesn't feel as awkward. It kinda feels... nice to just relax and sit with Gregor in peace.
Of course, by now, your little coughing fit got the attention of everyone else in the front of the bus.
Charon doesn't seem to mind your existence here, as she's focusing on the road again, and Yi Sang seems to be blankly staring at you as if you're an enigma. A weirdly familar enigma, but still...
But Vergilius...
You don't like the look he's giving you. Especially when he stands up and starts approaching you.
You give Gregor a nervous look, and he notices Vergilius approaching with measured steps. His expression mirrors your 'oh shit' look, and he helplessly watches as Vergilius stops next to you.
"Get up." He cooly orders you.
You hesitantly comply, knowing that the Red Gaze is not someone to fuck around with...
You're lucky he hasn't gotten pissed at you enough to torture your ass...
...
Damn you wish you could've met the Red Mist... she's so hot...
"Come." He instructs you, and you nervously follow him, noticing Faust standing up too.
Gregor opens his mouth in protest, but he realizes he can't stop you from leaving and only sighs as he watches you leave.
You wonder why he looks weirdly dismayed, but oh well.
You just trot after Vergilius as he steps out of the main passenger cabin and into the hall, and Faust strides past you and stops next to him. The two stare into you, and you want to shrink into non-existence.
"What- what do ya need..?" You shyly ask, absolutely terrified. Did they figure you out? Are they going to kick you off the bus and leave you to die? Or are you just going to die?
"...Miss Faust." Vergilius prompts, though he's staring at you in disdain. At least his eyes are dim...
"...Faust doesn't know what you are," The silver-haired woman starts, "But she has an offer to extend to you."
"An... offer?" You ask, "I- I can't take it if it breaches my contract..."
"It should not." She replies calmly.
"...what do you... want from me?" You ask, feeling your wings twitch.
"Faust wants you to join Limbus Company."
--☆☆☆--
They don't have a uniform ready for you yet, so they just told you to wear "whatever you have that fits".
That meant, until your laundry was done, little ol' you was still stuck in Dante's spare coat.
Faust mentioned that your assigned uniform would look similar to Dante's, right? Since you were going to officially be the assistant manager of the LCB department...
You can't resist sighing aloud as you stride through the hallway.
Gah... you're like some unfortunate anime protag... in some twisted, fucked up version of isekai. Why couldn't you go to some basic ass fantasy world from the most stereotypical isekai in a still-human body instead of... this?
You literally had to make up a whole ass backstory... now if you fuck any of it up, you're good as dead. Hell, you may be dead if you fuck up. You know how commonplace death is in the City. You saw what happened to...
...why does it only seem like you and Gregor were phased by her death? Did anyone care?
...
You wonder if anyone back home misses you. Has anyone noticed you're gone?
Who was that guy who shot you? What did they want? Was it just a matter of an unfortunate encounter with a serial killer, or was it something more?
You hope your cat's okay.
...
You just wish-
"GAH-!"
A squawk-like sound bursts from your throat as you colide into someone. A flash of blonde fills your vision, and you stumble, tripping over your tail, and fall over backwards.
And, right before you hit the ground, you feel yourself get... caught. A pair of hands under your shoulders, stopping you from slamming into the floor. Though, they aren't there for long, and in a moment you land on the ground.
At least it didn't hurt..? What the heck just happened, though?
You thing you hear what you can best describe as a curse in German, and you look up. Panicking over you is Sinclair, who looks like he's about to cry.
"Sorry- I'm sorry!" He yelps at you, expression contorted in horror like he just made the biggest mistake of his life.
Oh no the sad German boy-!
"Ah-! Don't worry, Sinny! I wasn't payin' attention! It's fine, seriously!" You quickly tell him, trying to stifle your excitement at the chance of having an interaction with one of your favorite characters ever.
You so Limbusrotted you deadass read the source books for extra content when you wanted to read an actual book...
Wish you read more of the actual Limbus Company story, though...
"Sin...ny?"
Oh shit you said your nickname aloud.
"Ack- uh- I- uhm-" A nervous laugh squirms out of your throat, "I think hearing Rodya talk so much may be impacting me... I can call you Sinclair, if you'd rather."
"...no- no-!" Sinclair blurts out, "No- "Sinny" is fine! I just... ah..."
You stand up, shaking your tail to dislodge some of the dust that nestled into your feathers.
"...you went missing for awhile."
...what?
At your confused look, Sinclair flushes.
"Don't you remember? Where we met..?" He asks, "Back when... when we were introduced? I- I never thought I'd see you again, but... I was kind of in shock when I first saw you with Dante... why didn't you-? Where-?"
He stutters, trying to get out whatever he's trying to communicate but wanting to say so much he can't get out what he wants to say.
"...what are you talking about?" You earnestly ask, completely bewildered.
Is there... someone else here like you?
"...don't you... remember?" Sinclair asks, looking strangely heartbroken.
"Remember... what?" You prompt, "I don't understand. What do you mean we met before?"
Never have you seen a German boy look so sad.
"...n- nothing!" He squeaks out, "Nothing at all. Sorry to bother you-!"
"Eh?? Sinny, wait-!" You blurt out, as Sinclair darts away and disappears into his room.
...
You fear you failed social interaction.
...
Though... you have many more questions now.
And yet... no answers.
You sigh, and decide to go check up on your laundry. You can't tell what time it is, considering what you went through with Faust and Vergilius was an uncomfortable mix of interrogation and interview that lasted a relatively long time.
...
...
...
...
...
You flinch at what feels like someone trying to prod into your head. You shake your head frantically, and move a little faster.
Hopefully, you can go home sooner rather than later. Because this absolutely is not your home.
And it never will be.
--☆☆☆--
"So that's the night watch schedules..." You murmur, staring at the little sheet that everyone is crowded around.
"Looks like we're not on there..." Dante tells you. And... yeah, both your names are missing.
If your name isn't on there, that means you're in a room with Dante all night.
Even if Dante is the one you trust the most on the bus... you don't know how to feel about spending a night in a room with them. Alone. Especially when they seem duct-taped to your side.
You couldn't miss how excited they seemed when you met back up with them. And how they haven't stopped standing next to you since.
And... you don't want to feel useless. Because you were useless when you failed to save Yuri.
"Yeah, but..." You shrug, "I managed to get some sleep. I can help keep watch."
Your sudden volunteering gets attention. Surprise, suspicion, and even a bit of flustered panic.
"Do... you really need to?" Dante asks, "If you're officially the assistant manager now, then you need rest."
"And I already got it." You retort. "Anyways, the Sinners need rest too. Especially..."
It may be a good idea to try and lower suspicions about you by being nice...
"Faust."
"Faust sees no need." She responds, though her attention is rapt on you.
"Well, clearly, out of all of us, you clearly know what's going on more than any of us combined. Especially Dante and I. I fear if you're going to continue having to sit us down and explain everything for a long while, you'll want rest. So... please just let me take this shift, even if just this once. I can..." You glance at the sheet again, finding who Faust was partnered with, "Easily do a shift with Gregor, okay? Plus, you mentioned you handle the finances... I'd rather have the person who makes sure we have enough money to eat has proper rest."
Gregor seems to choke slightly on his cigarette upon learning you want to dona shift with him. You pay no mind to it.
"...very well." Faust says with a nod. "Faust will switch places with you."
You nod, feeling relieved. Clearly, you aren't getting anywhere near to Faust's good side, but if she's gone for the night and sleeps, then that guarantees you won't have to interact or deal with her judgemental stare for a night.
And, soon enough, everyone heads off to go back to their rooms as the first two, Don Quixote and Rodya, go off to start the first night shift.
But Dante lingers behind with you.
"Hey... uh..." They hesitate, "Why did you... offer to switch with Faust?"
Because you're a selfish fuck.
"Because I wanted to be nice." The lie flawlessly comes from your mouth, brushing off your tongue with an unfortunate perfection. "Faust may not like me much, but... why not be nicer to her than she is to me? I don't like stooping down to rude people's levels."
"You... didn't need to keep yourself awake to do that, though. You had a long day. You should get some sleep too."
"Look, Dante..." You sigh, "No one else here really trusts me. You may be one of the only one's who doesn't think I'm some... malicious force who's up to something. I want to be kind, yes, because I don't think people here are used to kindness, but I also want to stop being... watched. Eyed as something that people can't have faith in." You sigh, though a half truth feels better than a full lie... "I fear if I don't go out of my way to help, no one will ever treat me as a normal person and not... a threat."
"But..."
You shrug, forcing a smile onto your face. "I don't got the special past that makes someone important like you do, Dante. I gotta fight more than you do, I fear. But it's fine. I can handle it."
"Are you... sure?"
"What other choice do I have?"
--☆☆☆--
You're still in Dante's coat. You'll change into something else when you go to bed. You just... don't want to dirty anything else right now.
Not that you have many clothing options anyways...
The hallway is quiet as you leave Dante's room. You headed out a little before your shift starts. Mostly because Dante kept trying to convince you to sleep. Said they could do the shift for you, if needed.
You left before they did it themselves. They need the sleep more than you do, anyways.
Plus... you fear that if you sleep, all you'll see is her.
Peering out into the main cabin, you see Ishmael and Yi Sang. Neither are talking, just silently staring out into the darkness. Yi Sang seems lost in thought, but Ishmael has a focus in her stare.
One you know most likely stems from her yearning to kill Ahab.
"Any issues?" You ask, causing the two to pause and look back.
"No." Ishmael answers quickly, "No one has approached the bus, so far."
"Great." You murmur, approaching. "You guys wanna head to bed now?"
"Yes." Is all Ishmael says as she stands up, and immediately strides past you as she goes. She brushes against you, but neither of you stumble because of it, so it's not something you focus on.
She leaves, and you and Yi Sang awkwardly exists in one another's vicinity.
"...how have you been faring?" He asks you suddenly. His tone also seems... almost warmer, in a sense.
Isn't he severely depressed before Canto 4? If you really thought about it, he even seems to be smiling.
"I mean... life could be better, but it could be worse too." You admit. Though he doesn't look away, so you figure you should say more. "It's nice to chat with you."
"It has been awhile." He says, and you wonder what he means.
Neither of you really... spoke before...
Then there is silence between you again.
"...your wings are in need of preening." He notes, staring at those wings on your hips.
"Ah- uh- so they are." You reply, a little flustered because you did not notice that. "Haha... I've never been great about tending to my wings."
"..." Yi Sang is quiet, and you remember his thing with wings and birds...
Ah- maybe that's why he's interested in you..?
"Even if they cannot give you flight, you should care for them." He tells you, "If you like, I could assist you with them."
"Uh- sure! Maybe tomorrow though..?" You squawk out, "You oughta sleep. It's healthy for you."
"...very well." He says with a nod, "See you in the morning, my friend."
And he leaves with quiet steps.
Why did he seem much more familiar with you than you were with him..?
You manage to push these thoughts aside as Gregor arrives.
"Hey bud..." He says, rubbing the sleep from his eyes with his human hand.
"Got some sleep before this?"
"Yep." He admits, and heads over to you to sit before you do. You sit next to him.
He offers you another cigarette. You politely decline, wanting to avoid an addiction.
Sure, the one you had earlier calmed you down... but you're gonna need to set limits. You don't know if an addiction will carry over to your real body. You don't wanna risk it.
He doesn't press you, thankfully. Just shrugs and looks out the window.
There's a bit of small talk between you too, and then...
"...hey, Gregor?"
"Mhm?"
"Is it my fault she's dead?"
Gregor freezes at that, taking a deep drag of his cigarette and he looks at you. You don't hide how much her death shook you.
"Are you talking about Yuri?"
"Y- yeah." You confess, feeling like... everything around you is squirming like the maggots of that damn Abnormality... "I... I did everything I could. When that Abnormality tried to attack us, I managed to get her out of the way. I thought she would be okay. I swore she would be okay. And then... then..."
Then that woman came.
The sound of a gunshot. The pause. Then Yuri's collapse. That weak smile, her final words, and the dimming of her eyes. How her blood staines your red skin. Crimson liquid sinking into your scarlet flesh and disappearing. How her smile doesn't leave.
All you can see are her dead eyes and that fucking smile.
"Hey. Hey. I'm just as at fault for this at you are. Fuck... I'm more at fault." Gregor tenses, "I saw her. I saw her coming and I didn't say anything because I wanted to believe what happened wouldn't be a possibility. And I was wrong. If I just... said something, Yuri would be alive."
..?
"Could we even have moved in time?" You ask.
"I don't know. I want to think you could've, though."
He also thinks he's to blame..?
"...you were close with her too, huh?"
"Yeah." He admits, "She... reminded me of my sister."
...
"...so we both think ourselves are to blame." You mumble, "...how about we just... both take the blame? That way, we can both feel like we're less at fault. Both try and feel less... haunted."
"..." Gregor glances over at you, and you see him smile slightly. "...sure. Might be the best for the both of us."
You nod. And then, the air feels less... tense, in a sense. Sure, you feel like a failure for what happened. Like a useless mistake. A fake. A liar. But... at least there's someone else on this bus who can understand half of what you feel.
There's more idle chatter. And then Gregor falls silent, staring outside with a glazed over look.
You get it. You really do.
"Hey, Gregor?" You tilt your head at his silence. "Gregor?"
You gently nudge him. He jolts, but seems lost in his head.
Right... he never really got to finish his Canto. Even in the main game, he never did. But still... you want to try and help him.
"Gregor?" You reach out again, ruffling his hair this time in an attempt to get him to look over at you.
It makes his breath hitch, and then there's a flash of brown, and a sharp pain in your non-dominant arm.
A choked grunt forces itself out of your throat, and you realize there's a gash in your arm, oozing some almost neon green liquid, with the same substance staining Gregor's claw.
Shit- you startled him-!
You look back at said bug-limbed man, who's violently shaking with a glazed over look. Shallow breaths... focused on something else...
...he's having a mental breakdown. You can recognize that. Probably because of PTSD you didn't think he had.
Maybe you could just... let him calm down on his own? Considering you probably caused this by accident, and don't want to make it worse...
...shit, Carmen.
Okay, you need to fix this. Before a Distortion happens.
"Gregor..?" You quietly tell him, earning no response. "Gregor, look at me."
He doesn't.
"Gregor... look at me. Now."
That gets him to angle his head to stare at you. He's still shaking.
"Wherever you think you are, you aren't. You are on Mephistopheles, with Limbus Company, and far away from anyone who can hurt you. It may not feel like it, but you are safe." You wish you were better at comforting people, fuck... "Whoever hurt you isn't here. And they will never be here. I promise you that."
"Limbus Company..." He quietly echoes.
"Look at me." You gently encourage, "Just... focus on me. And the seat you're on. Wherever you feel like you are, those things wouldn't be there, right? You're okay. Just believe me on this, you are safe."
He seems to be calming down...
Fuck... your arm hurts.
"Sorry..." You tell him, "I'm really sorry. I didn't mean to make you feel so... afraid. Honestly, I don't know what I even did... but still, I'm at fault. And I'm sorry."
"You..." Gregor starts to say, "You're not..."
He trails off when he notices the wound on your arm.
"...shit." His breath hitches, "Shit! Shit- I didn't- I didn't mean-"
"No- no-!" You quickly dissuade him, "No- it's fine. The cut isn't even that deep. It'll heal. Everything's okay."
"I hurt you." He chokes out, "I hurt you."
"And I accidentally triggered a mental breakdown in you so... I think we're even." You reply, "You didn't mean to, anyways. It was... an accident based on instinct. Not something malicious."
"..." Gregor doesn't respond for a moment. He just stares at his bug-like arm in disgust.
"...I don't hate your arm." You suddenly confess, "And I don't think it meant to hurt me either. It just... panicked and reacted in the only way it could. Like an abused dog."
"..." He glances back over at you. "You're... the first one to ever say that. And I'm not sure you're all there if you are."
"...uhm..." You nod slowly, and you both stare at the arm. "My point is... the arm isn't exactly you, right?"
"No..?"
"It's more like... what... acting based off your instincts?"
"Yeah..?"
"So..." You click your tongue, "If you panic, it panics. And if it only knows violence, that's the only way it's going to react."
Gregor seems hesitant to believe your words.
You need to prove it to him, huh..?
"Can I touch your arm?"
Gregor flinches, immediately pulling his arm as far away from you as he can manage. "No! Are you insane? The thing just stabbed you, and you want to touch it?"
"I'm trying to prove a point..." You reply, "And just trust me on this. Just this once."
He hesitates, but you aren't deterred. And, eventually, he gives in. Very slowly, the bug arm moves closer, but stops before making contact with you. Gregor's expression is apprehensive, and he draws back slightly when you reach out.
You pause at that, glancing up with a silent question.
Hesitance, and then a slight nod from him. A reassurance that you may continue.
So you gently place your hand on the limb. Immediately, you realize it's smooth. There's some hairs, yes, but the limb is covered in a smooth keratin. It's surprisingly warm, though. Much warmer than any bug you've touched.
You see the cockroach resemblance... but there's definitely some other bugs or insect-like creatures mixed in with the creation of the limb. Namely mantis with how sharp the underside of the lower limb is...
Hermann and her weird bug obsession... what's even the context behind it? Why would she want to make a biological weapon bug-like?
Outside of her fucked up personality, that is...
Gregor's breath is a bit shaky, but you can't place if it's out of fear or... something else.
When he notices you're glancing at his expression, he immediately adverts his gaze.
You don't press further about it.
Must be a strange sensation to have someone who isn't judging him for this...
Then you get to the blood that stains it. Your blood.
But why is it green? You swore you vomited up red blood earlier...
Yes... you did, actually. Your blood was red. And it couldn't have been stomach acid. It was too metalic.
Nor is this that black sludge. This blood actually kind of looks like Enkephalin...
But why is your blood green? When did it turn to this color?
What could this even mean..?
"Aren't you... creeped out?" Gregor hesitantly asks.
A little.
"No." The word comes from your mouth with ease. "Not really... it doesn't seem that "creepy" to me, honestly. It's almost... cute, in a way."
The limb twitches, but it doesn't move to attack. In fact, it almost seems... happy?
"Ha... that's a first." Gregor says, relaxing slightly. "You're weird, bud."
"I mean... we're both weird. Both of us got some features that get people to stare." You shrug, but don't pull your hand off the limb. "But it isn't a bad thing, is it? We're not evil. Just... some people with some unfortunate things in the eyes of society."
"..." Gregor doesn't reply, but he smiles. It's faint, but there.
Your arm still hurts. But... you can ignore it. Just for now.
Then, the limb moves. Though... slowly. As if reaching out on its own.
Immediately, Gregor panics a bit and immediately tries to pull his arm away from you.
"Wait- wait-!" You press your hand on the limb, "Wait... don't. It's not attacking. It's okay."
Gregor hesitates, then stops resisting. The limb continues to move, pressing itself against your right wing and entangling itself in your hair.
Both of you stare at the limb in confusion.
"...it's reacting to physical affection well." You note. "That's pretty good, not gonna lie."
Gregor blushes slightly and looks away, and you giggle quietly.
It's kinda cute...
Then you hear the door open, and your head cranes over as the wings on your head twitch. Instinctively, you pull away from Gregor, getting the feeling that someone walking in and seeing you touching his bug-arm as it's pressed against you would be rather damaging to your current authority... or lack thereof.
Both Gregor and you awkwardly stare at Outis and Meursault as they walk in. The two just stare back, but Outis immediately gets a serious look the moment she notices the comically large bleeding gash on your arm.
"What happened?" She almost barks out, her expression contorted into a sort of... disdain, in a sense.
"Uh..." Okay... if Gregor gets caught as having accidentally ripped a small chunk out of your arm, no amount of lying will save his ass... "Accident."
"What kind of accident?"
She has a no-nonsense look...
"..." You silently look at Gregor, who looks like he's about to admit to it.
"I-"
"I fell." You immediately jump in, "Gregor tried to catch me... accidentally scratched me a bit. I'm fine, it's not that deep."
Gregor gives you a surprised look at your lie, and Outis doesn't seem to believe you at all. Meursault doesn't give you any read on his emotions right now. Luckily for you, though, Outis seems more focused on the wound.
"Why haven't you tended to it?" She asks, storming over and grabbing your arm to look over the wound herself. Gregor quickly pulls his bug-like limb away, almost embarrassed.
"Cus it's not that bad..?" You mumble, a little startled by the effort she's putting into this.
"Not that bad?" Outis echoes in disbelief. "This needs immediate tending to! Are you insane, private?! Wounds like this need immediate care. Do you want an infection? You have a job, and that requires you in top-form! You cannot be revived and thus any and all injuries must be treated with care!"
She mutters about you being an idiot, but you're surprised at how... spirited she seems about your physical health... a complete change from her generally snide comments...
"Do we have any medical equipment?" She suddenly asks.
"I saw a medkit up at the front of the bus." You confess, and immediately Outis barks an order at Meursault to go get it. He silently nods and complies.
"Take your arm out of the sleeve." Outis orders you, and you hesitantly comply. You do what you can to make sure the jacket is still covering as much of your body as you can manage.
"Is there anything you need me to do..?" Gregor asks. He clearly still feels at fault for this.
"Stay out of this." Outis orders him, before Meursault returns with the medkit. You awkwardly sit there as Outis disinfects- which hurts- and binds the wound.
"You're lucky it's shallow enough to not require stitches." She angrily tells you. "This better not happen again."
"There's no plans in place for that..." You mumble, a little hesitant and confused. Why does she care so much? Solely because you're the new assistant manager?
"Did any other notable events occur?" Outis asks. Or... more like orders an answer.
"No. Nothing else happened." Gregor answers, "We're in the clear."
Outis nods. "Go to bed. Both of you."
"Got it..." You mumble, pulling your arm back into the sleeve.
Damn... Dante's spare coat's damaged. Hopefully, you get the chance to sew it up soon... may need a patch, though.
Hopefully the damage isn't too bad...
And you and Gregor leave, leaving Outis and Meursault to handle the next shift.
Now that the adrenaline wore off from the accidental attack... fuck, you're exhausted and in pain. Oh well... could be worse. You could be dead.
Like... her.
...
"Hey... bud." Gregor suddenly speaks up, "Why'dya... lie?"
"Oh- uh-" First call out, huh? "...well... I got the feeling Outis would rip you a new one if you admitted to what happened. I just wanted to make sure you wouldn't get yelled at and feel like shit before you get some sleep, ya know? I know lying is a shitty thing to do, but... I just wanted to make sure everything was fine. Because every other part of today... wasn't."
Both of you stand there in silence.
"Got it." He eventually says, sighing. "Thanks, bud. See ya in the morning, eh?"
"Sleep well." You reply, and both of you go your separate ways.
Immediately, upon walking into Dante's room, you realize the lights are on. And Dante is sitting on the bed, fidgeting with their hands impatiently.
"[Name]!" They blurt out upon seeing you walking in and closing the door, immediately standing up. "Are you alright? I..."
They trail off upon seeing the bandage and the hole in your jacket. "What happened? What- what happened?!"
"Accident. It's fine." You answer, trying to deter their panic. "I'll be better soon. Trust me."
Dante keeps sputtering, absolutely panicking. You just hold up your hands. "Seriously! If I get some rest, I'll be better. Calm down... please just... take a deep breath and calm down."
They barely relax. "Are... you sure?"
"Certain." You answer. "Look... uhm... why are you still up? I thought I said you ought to sleep..?"
"I- I was worried..." They confess. "But- are- will-"
"Dante, I'm going to be okay. And honestly, I wanna sleep." You confess, "I'm sorry for making you worry, but it'll be fine. Please just... calm down... and I think I'm going to just change into some of my other clothes and clock out, mkay?"
"...there's toiletries for you in the bathroom if you need it." Dante tells you after a moment. They're still worried.
"Thank you." You say, "And... you don't need to be so anxious about my health. My job is to keep you safe, not the other way around."
Dante doesn't respond, but just weakly nods. They watch as you go over and go to grab your original clothes you sort of... spawned with..? You aren't sure. Anyways, you go to grab them and push down the blades as they seem to tweak out.
So many people are worried about you... haven't you known them all for a day..? You're a lot more familiar with them than they are you...
Then you pause upon seeing Yuri's jacket.
...
You grab that instead of your other top. You say nothing as you go to the bathroom and close the door behind you.
You press your back to the door, holding the jacket to your chest as you shake.
If you wear this... you remember her, in a way. Like she's closer to you.
So you change into it, and then just... stare into the mirror for a moment.
This isn't you. This isn't your body. And you don't know how to fix it.
You sigh, and notice the reflection of a golden string sticking out of your head in the mirror.
A string of life you've seen on everyone except Dante... but yours looks... thicker?
Yeah... it's ever so slightly thicker than compared to others. Almost barely noticable.
And... it's branching off..?
You squint, noticing part of the string pointing out from your head. Where it goes is just out of view of the mirror.
And out of curiosity, you look.
...
Oh my god...
All air is gone from your lungs. Your knees are weak. Your wings are tense.
You're in shock. A silent, swirling shock you only had upon realizing your situation when you first woke up like this.
Because, standing in front of you... physically there and smiling...
Is Yuri.
--☆☆☆--
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