i often think of caleb as someone who’d merge his soul with yours…or maybe sacrifice his idiosyncratic existence to become a lesser part of yours. someone whose devotion runs so deep that he’d live under your skin if he could, just so he could be in & boast about such proximity to you
most caleb fics have some reference to wanting to fully consume the other person, whether from his perspective or that of mc/reader. and i think he sometimes genuinely has a problem accepting the fact that he and mc are different people
example: in hidden waves where he automatically assumes they’ll live for the same amount of time and mc has to literally remind him “we’re not the same person, caleb.” and on the surface level he’s like yeah i guess you’re right, but i’ve always hc’d him to internally respond yes we are
and i don’t think the conflation of himself and mc is in a narcissistic way; it’s not that he thinks mc is so similar to him that he’s in love with himself or anything. he just genuinely wants to be that close to you—that inseparable from you—out of dependency, self indulgence, and his own need to protect you.
which brings me to the thought that brought this out of my drafts after 2 months: on the protective side of things, caleb is kinda like a white blood cell—someone who wants to defend your purity from the inside.
constantly monitoring your wellbeing, eliminating threats, and immediately rushing to mitigate any harm that’s been done to you. the ubiquitous presence, the vigilance, the urgency to preserve & defend…caleb
My Plushie Suddenly Turned Human - By usunooshiri (8.5/10)
Is it scary? Yes! Is it realistic? No! Imagine dating your favorite character. One that loves you so, so, so much. You carried his plushie everywhere lovingly, so of course he came to life for you!
How cute!!!
Not.
Yuna is trapped in an abusive relationship. Her greatest comfort is her favorite character. A sexy, caring older brother type named Shaw.
Her boyfriend doesn't go on fun dates with her. He just uses her for money, so she goes with the plushie instead! Good for her but oh my goodness it's sad. This is way better than those "wah, I'm an orphan" setups. Burying yourself in a cute hobby is an actual, realistic reaction to being abused. It is deeply chilling to see on paper in a cute style.
Yuna finds enough courage to mention his "second girlfriend", because obviously he's also cheating on her. He uses his fists, and her reaction implies this is not the first time he has threatened her. Threats and fear are the only two elements keeping their awful relationship together.
Yuna just wants to be free.
Before she falls to the ground a huge man pushes her shit boyfriend out of the way. He looks exactly like Shaw! Down to the hair color and the way he acts.
Her brand new ex-boyfriend leaves with his tail between his legs. He's got another girlfriend to abuse anyway. He doesn't need Yuna('s money) anymore.
He gets to live and that sucks but whatever he's gone.
It's an unbelievable scenario but Shaw has all the evidence. He remembers his life as a plushie. Yuna took him to the hot springs. He knows all of her favorite meals, and he claims her sweet love gave him a reason to come to life.
How cute!!!!
Shaw is a plushie so it's not like he has a job. He becomes her stay-at-home boyfriend and Yuna loves it. Shaw isn't even super overbearing, or clingy. He likes to see HER have fun, and that's all she needs. She doesn't care if he has money, or nothing to his name at all.
She loves his gentle love.
Yuna begins to fret about reality.
They start dating officially after two months. Shaw is innocently happy, but Yuna isn't sure if she can make a future with a plushie. Obviously he's her ideal type, but he doesn't have a family. He's not really human. What if he can never get a job? Or being a plushie makes being human extremely stressful? What if he can't blend in?
It interrupts their perfect and fluffy relationship.
Also, Shaw doesn't like it when she hangs out with other men.
She finds her plushie.
The man who saved her isn't her beloved plushie at all. That was just a fantasy she wanted to believe in after experiencing so much abuse and stress.
Shaw says she's gullible, and he admits his name isn't Shaw.
He introduces himself, and the ending goes the way he wants to go.
Yuna knows he's a stalker, but she still says yes.
Shou was so nice to her, and she really needs some kindness in her daily life.
Yes, her stalker waited until she was broken to save her.
unknown//janet finch/white oleander//holyaches//unknown//sylvia plath/the bell jar// sue zhao//carol rifka brunt/tell the wolves i’m home//suzanne rivecca/death is not an option//ineloquent-creature
The spaces between my fingers are where yours fit perfectly
When comparing hands, you realize how tiny you are to him.
ಇ. Character x Female Reader/MC
(Include parts in order: Caleb, Xavier, Rafayel, Zayne)
ಇ. Tags: fluff, domestic fluff, established relationship, comforting and healing, size gap, long-distance relationship (for Caleb's part)
ಇ. Word count: 3k2
ಇ. Requested anonymously
ಇ. The title of this fic is a lyric from Owl City's song - Vanilla Twilight.
ಇ. Masterlist
ಇ. Request
𝑪𝒂𝒍𝒆𝒃
Since childhood, you had always loved holding Caleb's hand.
You adored putting your small hand in his palm. To feel such warmth. His hands were usually larger than yours. At first, there was not much difference between the hands of two children. But as you got older, the gap widened. You began to notice this and frequently inclined him to compare hands.
“Hey Caleb, give me your hand.”
"What for?"
“Just do what I said, and give me your hand.”
Caleb was thrilled, waiting for you to place a piece of candy or anything intriguing in his hand, which had just expanded to its full size. Then he got upset when he felt the touch of your hand instead.
"What are you doing?"
"Hmmph." You pouted. "Still not as big."
You put your hand on Caleb's, measuring front, back, left and right. He eventually lost patience and said:
“Why are you measuring my hand?”
“Because I want my hands to be as big as yours. Only with such big hands can you hold so many gifts and pies from Grandma..."
Your face was extremely serious as you spoke, but it made Caleb roll around in the grass, laughing until his stomach hurt.
“Why are you laughing at me?!” You felt a little offended. You struck Caleb hard on the arm. It was painful.
"Ouch!" He yelled, then got up to face you. His hair still had grass in it. "Listen up, pipsqueak. Your hand will never be bigger than mine."
"Why?"
“Because I will always be taller than you, bigger than you. I must be taller to protect you and Grandma! My hands must be bigger to always hold yours!”
Having said that, Caleb curled his fingers around your palm. You grinned naively, believing that such large hands were ideal for doing all of the chores or lifting heavy objects for you.
One time, while learning to cook with Grandma, Caleb burned his hand. He tolerated pain very well and did not whine. On the contrary, it was you who frantically ran to find ointment to apply to him. You were crying:
“Caleb, you have to be careful! You have to take care of these hands... If something happens to them, who will do the housework for me?..."
Caleb laughed. He used his other hand to pat your head. “What are you worried about, pipsqueak? I will always protect you. Who did I start learning how to cook for?"
You sobbed. Honestly, you felt so terrible every time Caleb got hurt.
Time seemed to fly by. You both were growing up. The space between the two hands also extended. At one point, suddenly, just comparing hands with him turned your cheeks red.
But these days, you did not get to do that often anymore. Caleb went to the academy so far away, and then his long missions left him with few opportunities to visit home. In his free time, you could only chat with him online. You really missed the feeling of his large hands shielding yours. You said:
“Caleb. Give me your hand.”
On the laptop screen, he burst out laughing. “What now? Even though I'm so far away, you still want to measure my hand?"
“Just do what I said.”
Caleb shook his head in defeat. He brought his hand close to the camera and spread out five slim fingers. His hands were thin and smooth, but after being accepted into the academy, you could feel the roughness or new calluses there. You smiled, raised your hand to the screen and pressed it against his.
“Looking from this angle, my hand is bigger than yours!”
“Wow, pipsqueak has grown bigger and stronger than me!”
Oh, how much you missed him! You were about to burst into tears and tell him to come home to you right that moment. It had been a long time since his last return. You longed to hold his hand.
But you wouldn't make Caleb worry if he had to embark on a mission away from home. You tried to show him your brightest smile. And you whispered:
“Yeah. You've always taken care of me since I was little. Now it's my turn to be stronger to take care of you."
Caleb knew you so well, because you were always the thing in the palm of his hand he cherished most in the world. He was silent for a long moment, then gently said:
“Pipsqueak, don't be sad. I'll come home to you next weekend, okay? Make sure you eat plenty. If I return home and notice that your hands have thinned even just a little bit, I will be very displeased!"
𝑿𝒂𝒗𝒊𝒆𝒓
The first time you met him, he left an impression on you with his large and steady hand.
You found Xavier on a mission. Since he did not move, you came closer and gently shook him. Then his large hand gripped your wrist securely. You were astonished by the sudden vigor with which you were seized. To be honest, you were afraid at the moment.
The second time you met him, his big hand protected you once more and took you out of danger. That hand placed around your waist, not squeezing hard to the point you became uneasy, but it was a gentle touch, as if he was frightened you might vanish if he held you too closely. Perhaps from that moment on, you felt the warmth and safety of being in his arms. And all your walls eventually collapsed, embracing the way he entwined his soul with your own.
Then you became used to holding his hand as you walked together. When you had to maneuver through a congested area, he would gently squeeze your fingers, as if to remind you to pay more attention to him. And as you two went along a quiet street or sat on the subway with his head resting on your shoulder, he tenderly rubbed the back of your hand with his thumb. A gentle gesture, just enough to let everyone know that this girl was his.
His knuckles were hardened from sword practice. His skin was also consistently dry. He was clueless about how to take care of himself. So you began to learn about lotions for nourishing hands.You always carried a tube with you. On one occasion, you took it out and applied it to Xavier's hand.
"What's this?" He inquired.
“Hand cream.” You murmured this as you massaged the soft white cream into Xavier's obediently outstretched hands. “Your skin is so dry. I bought this for you to use.”
He did not answer, just stared intently at you taking care of him. When the thin layer of cream was absorbed, he turned his hands over and observed with a blank expression.
You giggled, then held out a hand in front of his face and said:
“Put your hand here.”
Xavier displayed confusion before placing his hand on yours and softly hitting the palm.
"High-five?" He inquired, continuing to appear perplexed.
"No." You answered, grasping Xavier's wrist to keep his hand close to yours. "I want to see how large your hands are. Hmmm…"
Xavier's hand was a little bigger than yours. You loved these hands. They constantly offered you a sense of security. On any endeavor, you could put your life in his hands without any hesitation. In daily life, you would always reach for his hand whenever you went out, or when your free hand wanted to feel his warmth. The only thing you never dared trust in these hands was, perhaps, cooking.
Xavier smiled. His hands felt significantly smoother after applying the cream, and they retained a very subtle flowery aroma. He laced his fingers with yours, then leaned down and placed a kiss on your hand.
“My hands smell like yours now.”
"Of course." You replied while blushing. “It's the same type of hand cream.”
Xavier did not respond. You caught him pondering for a long time. The next day, you found him applying the entire tube of cream on his hands.
"Oh dear! What are you doing? There's no need to apply that much!”
You quickly went to get a towel to help him clean up. He sat on the sofa, looking rather bewildered while you asked him:
“Are you going to use up the entire tube like that?”
Xavier responded: “Yeah… Since… This morning when I woke up, I couldn't smell your cream anymore. I want to use it all so the fragrance lasts longer.”
You rolled my eyes at Xavier, and a few seconds later you fell down laughing on the sofa. "Oh my! You did it in vain. These things don't last long."
“Is that so…” Disappointment was evident on Xavier's face. Seeing that, you sat close and tangled your hand with his. You said:
“If you like this scent, I will buy more for you.”
“What I like is your scent.” Xavier replied. His thumb caressed your hand. “I like the scent of your hair, your clothes, your hands… Everything that belongs to you…”
You were surprised, and delighted. Your face was more radiant than the sun outside the window. His hand felt so large and warm. If you could, you would never want to let go.
You squeezed his hand once. Fingers pressed closely together. You progressed from being terrified of this foreign hand to when it became familiar, and now inseparable. It was weird, since despite only knowing him for a short time, it felt like you had loved him your whole life.
Leaning your head on his shoulder, you whispered:
“Xavier, don't ever let go of my hand, okay?”
"Never."
𝑹𝒂𝒇𝒂𝒚𝒆𝒍
You preferred to visit Rafayel's studio more frequently these days. Of course, compared to staying in a small apartment alone, coming here to work with him, drenched in sunlight and sea breeze, surrounded by flowers and grass, was definitely a much more sensible choice.
But the main reason remained Rafayel. You enjoyed watching him in silence, as he concentrated on painting. His long fingers wrapped around the brush, perfect as if he was the work of art. You had undoubtedly noticed Rafayel's hands since the first time you met, when he demonstrated his incredible fishing talents. He was adept at wielding a racket and far more skilled at holding a brush. The hues of the mythical world depicted in the painting gradually revealed itself under his magical hands. He did not always use a brush, instead dipping his hands in the paint, and as his fingers started dancing on the white canvas, you believed you saw a rainbow even though it was not sunny that day.
You loved how Rafayel rotated the brush in his palm while contemplating before getting started with painting. You loved the way his fingers held the chopsticks and transformed the food into a culinary movie. You liked the way he wrapped his long finger in your hair to play with it. It seemed that everything he did with his hands was perfect, and unreal.
“Rafayel. Can you raise your hand?” You asked him that out of nowhere one afternoon at the studio. He was focused on an art book, so he did not respond and simply executed what you asked.
You extended your hand, intending to press it against his. Yet he raised his hand a bit higher. You grimaced and lifted your palm high. He did that again, and again, until his arm was stretched to its full length, and so was yours. The only thing was, since yours was shorter, you could not reach his palm.
“Rafayel!” You shouted fiercely. He closed the book he was reading and flung it on the sofa. On his face was a triumphant smile.
"What? Can't reach it?"
With an irritated expression, you rose up and seized his hand. Fingers intertwined, perfect as if he and you were made for each other. You used a great force to push Rafayel down into the sofa, while your other hand maintained your body weight by positioning it near his neck.
The smile on Rafayel's face disappeared. The scarlet hue of a ripe tomato gradually crept across his statue-like face and reached his ears. Rafayel seemed displeased.
“Are you bullying me?”
“Who bullied who first?” You argued back.
Noticing that Rafayel had begun to move beneath you, his hand entwined with yours now yearning to escape, you held him even tighter. His hands were slender and cool, velvety like a baby's skin. The veins were barely visible underneath the thin skin. The fingers were extremely lengthy; they belonged to an artist rather than a warrior like you. Even his nails were tidy, pink, and well-filed. Looking back at your hand in his, it was dry and small, with short fingers and nails that were neglected due to a lack of time, you were unable to avoid feeling envious.
“Hey, if you want to hold my hand, just say it.” Rafayel gazed at you furiously. “Is it necessary to pin me down like this?”
“I don't want to hold your hand. I just want to compare it with mine.”
Rafayel scoffed. He replied: “Comparing hands, why? We all know for a fact that I have the most gorgeous hands in the world.”
Seeing how he started praising himself, I sat up bored, intending not to joke with him again. But Rafayel refused to let go of your hand. The other curled around your waist, clutching you hard.
"Where are you going? We haven't finished talking yet, have we? If you like my hands so much, how about I give them to you?”
"Huh?" You were a bit startled. In your mind a scenario of receiving a huge gift box. When you opened it, you discovered Rafayel's severed and bloody hands inside...
Rafayel squeezed your face, as if he knew you were thinking nonsense.
“Whatever you're thinking, with that expression, I'm sure it's not what I want. Follow me.”
Rafayel led you into the warehouse, he pulled out some plaster powder and a few necessary tools. Later that day, there was a new piece in Rafayel's studio, yet not a painting. It was a statue of a small hand tangled with a larger one. A precise duplicate of yours and Rafayel's.
“Come to think of it,” he said as he looked at the final work with you. “My hands are most beautiful when intertwined with yours.”
𝒁𝒂𝒚𝒏𝒆
Doctor Zayne's hands were often cold.
You still remembered learning to knit with Grandma and making gloves for Zayne when you lived close. Unfortunately, you did not get a chance to present them to him yet. You kept them in your old box at home till this day.
At the time, his hands were already significantly larger than yours. They were chilly since his Evol was occasionally unrestrained. In situations like that, he would put his hands in his pockets, look down, and leave fast. Even though you chased him down to ask him questions, he declined to speak, much alone show you his hands.
At the time, there was no scar on his hands.
Presently, when you put on his large gloves, you noticed how enormous his hands were. Your hand was buried beneath a thick layer of wool, only taking up about half of the glove's space. You rolled your eyes.
“Doctor Zayne, look!” You raised your gloved hand for him to see. The wool glove's fingertips had extra room and swung to the rhythm as you waved them. Obviously, the glove was excessively big for you.
“Stop playing around.” Doctor Zayne replied. He took the other glove and put it on your other hand. “Put this on.”
“It's too big. I feel like I'm a monster with gigantic hands!”
You laughed. Zayne grabbed your hands and hoisted them up. He inhaled to keep them warm and responded: "Because someone has lost her gloves on the way here, she must accept her fate of becoming a monster."
Zayne chuckled, but his serious expression made you question if he was fooling or condemning you for being irresponsible. He and you were on holiday in the snow-covered mountains. How silly of you to have misplaced your gloves and not remembered where you had put them. Hence he had to let you temporarily borrow his.
Even after you bought a new pair, you preferred the feeling of putting your hands in Zayne's gloves. Especially when they still felt his warmth lingering inside.
Zayne's hands were always so big, they were twice the size of yours. Your body shape was average, but when you stood next to him, you appeared strangely tiny. He could easily lift you up. He could hold both of your hands together with only one of his. And he could hold all five snow seals lined up side by side in one hand at your request.
His hands were covered with scars. When you inquired about their history, he just made up an explanation that he washed his hands too thoroughly. He saw you as a three-year-old child. Of course you did not believe it at all, but would not ask more until he was comfortable enough to share his story with you. You adored tracing the scars and veins that bulged beneath his skin. Sometimes, he felt ticklish. Other times, he would tell you to stop messing around while he was working. But he never truly pushed your tiny hand aside.
There were times when his hands became very cold. Extremely cold. As his habit, he buried them in his layers of garments without letting you know. He would not dare touch you since he was frightened you would catch that cold. Yet in moments like that, all you ever wanted was to hold him close.
You removed his hands from his coat pockets. They felt as frigid as ice when you touched them. Doctor Zayne frowned. He wanted to withdraw his hands but you clutched them hard. Your little, trembling fingers curled around and cherished those cold hands. You offered them your warm breath.
“Let go of them. You will be cold.” Zayne expressed worry. But you shook your head.
“Just wait a little longer and we'll both warm up.”
“I will… hurt you…”
That was what terrified Zayne. What if he lost control and accidentally hurt you? He would never be able to forgive himself if that happened. There had been many times he had avoided or hidden from you, but in the end, you were always the one who ran to his side when he needed you the most.
Eventually, he gave in. He relaxed his hands in your palms. He rested his head on your forehead, his eyes softly closing. In you there was always the warmth that he yearned.
After a while, Zayne warmed up. You were not cold anymore. Between the hands was an immeasurable warmth that both he and you desired to cherish forever.
That winter, you gave him a pair of new gloves with snowmen on that you had knitted. They clasped securely around Zayne's fingers, a reminder that no matter what, you would never let go of his hands.
The way that caleb has such an outgoing personality and yet is quite secretive in regards to whatever is going on in his life and on top of that, is littered with suspicious plot points in game, makes me really excited for his return. There's no way that guy is just a normal guy TM (status:dead).
