ellie williams x bsf!reader.
you've been friends with ellie for two years; sleepovers and concerts, spending days basking on hot fields and riverbeds. she's a playboy; you're a saint. sometimes, things don't go the way we expect.
set in an undisclosed southern state during august. ellie is in a band. no specific physical descriptors are used for you.
my works are intended to be for any and all wlw/nblw, masc or fem, of any race. bigots dni!!! men dni!!! if this fic idea has been used before, please let me know.
umm so this is my first fic so please tell me if you guys want a pt. 2 or anything. i've always wanted to write for ellie but also for abby, who might be in the next part ;). we'll see. 1.3k words long, 'cause i didn't know if people would like this or not.
credits to @/hyuneskkami for the dividers.
it's been a long two years and somehow, she still has feelings for you. recently, hanging out with you was a painstaking experience; watching the way your eyes shimmered whenever the sun hit them, watching your bright, wide grin. ellie was so, so whipped.
"it's not rocket science," you reprimand her. ellie's light green eyes meet yours, and she lets out a characteristic huff, fingers struggling to untie her shoe. "you'd think that for someone who plays guitar, you'd be pretty good with your fingers," you tease, sitting on the rock. the creek ripples quietly, and the early morning sun casts a light on top of it. the water glimmers a pale emerald, native wildlife making small sounds. for a moment, she doesn't speak, avoiding your eyes, and so you kneel down in front of her, beginning to unwork the knots in the dirty white laces. her converse are patchy; els always stubbornly wore them on your hikes and expeditions, even though each time they came back a bit more soiled, a bit more worn.
you finish untying them, and she huffs, looking down at you. a grin spreads across your face--she's planning something, and you squeal when she splashes you with some of the water, scooting back. ellie laughs, a high-pitched noise. you stare up at her; in these moments, she looked like an angel. freckled, kissed by the sun, as if she was some kind of saint, a poem within itself, meant to be studied and analyzed by word-hungry readers forever and ever. her skin was more tanned from spending practically each and every day outside with you, hair a bit longer than it should be, left untrimmed since june. you flick the water droplets off of your skin, adjusting your shirt, and it's ellie's turn to study the way your skin is illuminated by the hazy light, the way the water trails down your chest.
"you coming to my show?" she asks. it's more of a statement than a question, really. ellie knows you'll come; you always did. in a way, it made her feel guilty; she'd ask and you'd say yes no matter what, the 'yes' bubbling out of your mouth so quickly it made her smirk. there's a hint of softness behind her bark, a soft, little smile carving a crescent on her face. you swallow, turning away. ellie frowns. this wasn't like your usual, enthusiastic response. for a moment, she's worried; did something happen? did she upset you? or maybe dina said something. or jesse. the thoughts flicker through her mind like fireflies, glowing green, on and off. she almost reaches for you, to grab your shoulder. you're silent for a while before you look up at her, a faint expression of what--sadness, she thinks? no. hesitation, on your face.
she watches you as you clear your throat, sitting up, your back hitting the back of the rock you'd been leaning against. ellie can hear everything; the way the trees whistle in the wind, the way the cars passing by the road through the forest zoom closer, before zooming out. she knows you like the back of your hand; something is wrong. a frown blooms on your face, and she's about to grab your hand for real this time, before you start to speak.
"uh. i have a date tonight." your voice is matter-of-fact, and for a moment, you hate how cold you sound. but then, you're reminded that ellie is nothing but your best friend. even though during your sleepovers, she woke up from nightmares and immediately hid in your arms, bawling into your neck until a sheen of her tears made your skin shine under the moonlight. or the way you came to her whenever something happened, expression stony, but she could read the way your eyes were a bit wetter than usual, or the way you swallowed, the curve of your throat like a swan's. you avoid her eyes, looking down at your hands. a lapse of guilt eats away at you, before you remember the times that els stood your plans up. first, it happened because she forgot about a date. sure, that happens. ellie wasn't the greatest person with memory--but it began to happen again and again. you started to spend more time with her fucking band, for god's sake--sometimes you swore that jesse's face turned into one of pity when you traipsed into his garage, eyes wide and willowy. slowly, ellie began to ebb further and further away from you, even when you reached for her like a drowning woman.
ellie frowns. "a date? what?" you, a date? you were the saintliest person she knew. you didn't go on dates--always preaching that you were too busy, either focusing on refining your skills, or spending time with your friends, who you prioritized. not like her, she realizes with a bitter thought. you weren't like her, sleeping around with girls who's names floated away in the span of a week, getting drunk to push away any feelings until all ellie felt was cold numbness, waking up with no blanket and a bad headache. it was unbelievable--with who? who was this--girl, boy, ellie didn't care. did she know them? a hot, sticky feeling passes over her. this couldn't be. if you were telling her, now...how long had it been going on? her heart beats faster and faster, like her veins are constricting and opening.
"yeah," you say, a quiet mumble. "i...can't come. sorry, els." you give her a weak smile. "i really have to go. i'm really sorry." and in that moment, she hated you, for the way you smiled at her and apologized, even though this wasn't really your fault, she was just a jealous bastard--too good for her, that's what you were. the town druggie and the saint, best friends; this is how all the stories went. girl loses best friend she's secretly in love with because she's too much of a pussy to say anything. girl has been trying to kill these feelings for months with alcohol and other girls, who are nothing more than playthings. girl completely loses it.
"with who?" she demands. "who is it?" ellie was always good at pretending, slipping on masks. right now, she pretended that it was for your good, really. not because she was going to spend the rest of the night analyzing how could you fall for this person--how could you date them. you didn't even say you liked them, hell, loved them, but ellie's mind drifted to the worst case scenarios, fingers kneading into her toned thigh, bronze and tanned. her mouth is dry, tongue running over her lips. god. she really messed up, didn't she? she fixes her hair; all of a sudden, so aware of her physical appearance it hurts. before, ellie didn't really care; she could be in pajamas in front of you and not care, hair messy, but now, her heart beat faster and faster. it was like everything was going in slow motion.
"this girl," you say weakly. "she's...really nice." god, that's the best you could come up with? great job. you meet her eyes, and your heart falls all the way to your stomach. she looks like she's about to cry. was she okay? you're about to ask her when ellie huffs, red blossoming over her cheeks as she stands up, glaring down at you. you'd never seen her look at you like that. like you're anything but someone she'd be gentle with. her green shirt clings to her skin with sweat and riverwater, and she lets out a breath through her nose, eyes shut, before they open again.
"that's all it takes to get you to bend, huh? a really nice girl, yeah right." she snorts. "you're easy." your cheeks burn a sickly heat, eyes glowing. what the hell? ellie never...never spoke to you like that. not in this brutish, cruel way. her nails dig into her hands, creating little crescents in the soft flesh.
"i thought you knew me better than that." your voice cracks. ellie's face pales for a second, and she swallows.
"guess i don't." she bites back. and for the first time ever, you stand up, and you leave.
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