green soap @saipng - Tumblr Blog

sternfleck

How it feels to be

mom said it’s my turn to gaze into the eyes of a featureless god

i am to a person what a mask is to a face

threedollarsdotcom

you can easily win a girls attention by eating all the drywall in her house

crushedheaven

friendly face

#ninah

buried-in-stardust

OP: "Another year has passed, time to make another natural freezer"

[eng by me]

isawken

getting increasingly confused trying to have sex with my point and click wife but she just keeps saying “you cant use that here”

isawken

i have the ancient sarcophagus and the cuckoo clock. what the fuck else do i need man

novafigura

z0mbiem0shpit

crossover episode

#oh!#iron lung #mouthwashing

iphigeniacomplex

just got a call from the american psychiatric association. you old dogs, i said, picking up on the first ring. how many times i gotta tell you to lose this number. i don’t want you coming around here anymore. “listen, toots, we’ve been doing some thinking,” they says, and i says, guess there’s a first time for everything. “you’re a real funny dame, sugardoll. reviewing criticism, we’ve determined that the biggest issue with our previous diagnostic and statistic manuals of mental disorders is the anonymity of it all. we’ve been circling around a vague figure of the mentally well without defining the traits of a mentally well person. there’s no personality. what we need is a cute broad with a couple opinions to model the psychological norm.” so i’m saying back up and give it to me straight: i’m the new standard of sanity? can i get that in writing? and they say, “as the american psychiatric association we hereby state that you are the baseline and any deviations from your personality are deviations from the very concept of sanity, at least in the united states psychiatric system.” they’re making it public tomorrow. it’s a nice gig, if you really want to know. never thought they’d let a woman do it.

greasby

he doesnt get it :/

#iron lung

adhd-vibes

i need to change my whole life in one day. watch out world. i'm about to rearrange my furniture and cut my hair and develop new yet fully formed healthy habits all in the span of 24 glorious hours. i will also be buying groceries.