Always Sad

@salamancatuco

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Posts

corrvus-corax

“She, too, has been alone in the dark, I thought. She, too, has gazed into herself, and has seen the void.”

— Margaret Atwood, from “The Testaments,” released c. September 2019

becherdireinen

I will not wait for you

to regret losing me.

Does the sun wait for

the earth to regret turning?

Does the moon wait for

the night to regret ending?

The sun remains the sun,

and the moon remains the moon.

I will remain myself

with or without

your acknowledge of my value.

bittersweet-poem

lunamonchtuna

— Danez Smith, from "summer, somewhere" (via lunamonchtuna)

lunamonchtuna

— Clementine Von Radics, from In A Dream You Saw A Way To Survive; "The Fear" (via lunamonchtuna)

noctivagant-ghost-deactivated20

there’s a version of me that would’ve saved you. i buried her.

wordx

If only you knew how much I cried when I decided to distance myself from you. How I still wanted to be with you. But I knew I couldn't. I don't think you'll ever understand how much it took out of me. You don't know how hurt and broken I was because of the decision I made. The decision to let you go even though I didn't want to but I had to.

I still remember how our first conversation started. I still recall how wide my smile was whenever we talked the way you made me feel safe. That was when I realized I had fallen for you. I loved you more than you ever knew and I feared it. Losing you when I loved you the most was the hardest thing I've ever had to do.

It was hard to understand how something that felt so right could go so wrong. Maybe for you we were nothing. But for me we were something. Something that meant so much. Which is why it's so hard to move forward. It's hard to accept because we never even got the chance to truly begin. Yet somehow we still came to an end.

wordx

And finally, you didn't reply to my last message, and I didn't send again. We just disappeared from each other's worlds. I used to want to find an answer, but now I realize there's no need for me to ask. Because when I look back, every detail was actually the answer. I don't know what I want anymore. I thought I wanted you, but I'm not so sure now, and I know you will never be mine. It's still like close my eyes, and imagine how beautiful it could be if we were together.

In my imagination, the world seems to pause, and everything feels right. But then reality tugs at my sleeve, reminding me of what separated us. Now I know that some stories are meant to remain untold, and some lovers are meant to linger in the silent corners of our hearts.

flowerytale

Natalie Babbitt, from Tuck Everlasting

birbizbirdeornitorenkler

dumblr

I did not unlove you overnight.

No, I unloved you in bits of pieces over time.

I grew a new skin that you could not touch, a new heart that you could never break, and a new soul that you could never corrupt. This is how I unloved you... Slowly, painfully, but with no regrets.

dumblr

"I like to be alone. I have control over my own space. Therefore, in order to win me over, your presence has to be better than my solitude. You're not competing with another person, you are competing with my comfort zone."