Guy Who Tries To Sell You Something Competition

Which guy who tries to sell something can sell their thing to all the other guys selling something?

[salesperson-competition]

Who is the Ultimate Salesperson?

There are many characters whose main (or one of their main) character trait is being able to sell someone on something - the biblical serpent with the forbidden fruit...the Onceler with his thneeds...

BUT WHOMST, one might ask, is the ULTIMATE SALESPERSON?

If they met, would the the biblical serpent convince the Onceler to eat the forbidden fruit, or would the Onceler convince the Serpent to buy a Thneed?

Could Ultimate Tumblr Sexyman 2025 Grunkle Stan convince #2 Tumblr Sexyman 2022 Reigen Arataka to buy Mystery Shack Merch, or would Reigen convince Stan to hire him to exorcise a spirit?

SUBMISSIONS ARE NOW CLOSED!! Polls to come soon....

inspired by @sexypeople-contests-2025 @couldtheyshootkira @couldtheyescortelliewilliams @need-him-pregnant-poll @couldtheybekira @couldtheycatchkira @autismswagsummit among many others! :3

Edit:

RULES FOR SUBMITTING

no real people or else I fear Phil Swift would sweep, eliminating the need for a competition at all

[mimosa-sex-tea-people-contrsf]

Tumblr Sexy Women Contest 2026 Round 1

Xenomorph Queen

Hornet (Silksong)

Voting ended onMar 8

[salesperson-competition]

Y’all sorry I disappeared off the face of the earth (life and shit happened) but if you get hornet to win this I will be forever in your debt

[salesperson-competition]

btw sorry for the silence, some stuff came up in my personal life that took up my time, BUT THIS COMPETITION IS NOT OVER!!!! It shall resume shortly..... thank you for your patience <3333333

[salesperson-competition]

ROUND 1 - TOM NOOK vs ENA

Will Tom Nook sell Ena a house and house upgrades in exchange for money/bells?

OR will Ena sell Tom Nook "Prism Schemes", and possibly consulting services or employment opportunities in exchange for chocolate coins and also just for the love of the game?

IMAGINE A CHOCOLATE BELL! WOW!

TOM NOOK (Animal Crossing)

ENA (Ena :Dream BBQ)

Voting ended onJun 27, 2025

PROPAGANDA

TOM NOOK

(nothing submitted. Make his case if you wish!)

ENA

"One of her sides is literally named 'salesperson Ena.' She was absolutely born for the role, and given how many weird characters she interacts with, she could probably convince a rock into a pyramid scheme if she tried hard enough."

"'What are your pain points? What's your problem? What are our business struggles today? Let me help you invest in your future!" 'YOU FOOL. SPONSOR MY DEMONS! FEED ME THE CAAAASH!'

Like the other Ena, this Ena has two sides to her. One is her energetic and personable "salesperson" side, always hustling to find business, offer divestment opportunities, and network with fellow entrepreneurs to 'contract their genius germs'. The other is her "meanie" side, fed up with everyone's bullshit and is sick of her job, but VERY insistent on getting paid. With her pushy sales tactics, almost indecipherable corporate lingo, and explosive outbursts, I think she can talk anyone into handing over all the chocolates.

'Bless you for your business!'"

[levireblogs]

I affected this. On purpose.

[theprinceoftheswamplands]

Tom Nook’s backstory is literally being disillusioned by the tough city livings, going home, and becoming arguably the nicest realtor ever. While his kind nature does technically make him “easier to take advantage of,” he has history with a notable con artist and could probably spot ENAs schemes just by familiarity alone. Don’t forget ENA has so far failed to sway a single person in the chapter of the game we got and instead mostly just gets yanked around into different tasks

The question isnt about who’s scamming who, but moreso who’s more likely to offer something the other would buy and thats more complicated because while Nook does generally give good deals… ENA isnt likely to be in the market for house shopping any time soon. On the other side ENA’s schemes arent EVER likely to work on Nook. Based on the fact ENA is more likely to end up homeless due to spontaneous meteor strike before Nook is to fall for something, Nook is probably the winner via process of elimination

[salesperson-competition]

hey is Spamton G. Spamton in this

Yes!! He already won his first round, so I didn’t boost his poll today. I’m waiting for all the round 1 polls to end before starting round 2! You should be able to find his poll in the spamton tag! Or here!

[salesperson-competition]

ROUND 1 - PUKICHO vs PHIL SWIFT

Would Pukicho be able to sell Phil Swift their merch and music in exchange for money?

Or would Phil Swift be able to sell Pukicho various Flex Seal products in exchange for money?

THE IRL PEOPLE MATCH UP

PUKICHO ("Real life, I guess?")

PHIL SWIFT (Real Life)

Voting ended onJun 27, 2025

PROPAGANDA

PUKICHO

" @pukicho you deserve this"

PHIL SWIFT

"he can saw the competition in half!!! And then repair it with FLEX TAPE!"

[salesperson-competition]

ROUND 1 - MAYOR LIZZIE vs COOKIE KWAN

Will Mayor Lizzie be able to sell Cookie Kwan her empire's exports (amethyst, raw chicken, sweet berries, slime, etc.) and services/favors in exchange for diamonds and other trade goods and perhaps favors too?

OR will Cookie Kwan sell Mayor Lizzie Real Estate in exchange for money?

IT'S NOT FREE REAL ESTATE

MAYOR LIZZIE (Empires SMP)

COOKIE KWAN (The Simpsons)

Voting ended onJun 27, 2025

PROPAGANDA

MAYOR LIZZIE

"Mayor Lizzie is an anthropomorphic cat posing as a human being who's self-proclaimed mayor of Animalia, a utopia for animals she's trying to make. She regularly runs scams and steals from others; one of her most notable scams is posing as 'Mystic Mary,' a faux fortune teller who convinces people they need her wares to aid/avoid the fortune she predicted"

COOKIE KWAN

"She's the #1 realtor on the west side! Stay off the west side."

[salesperson-competition]

ROUND 1 - HU TAO vs EVERYONE WHO SUBMITTED (betchya didn't think YOU were gonna be in this competition!)

will Hu Tao be able to sell Everyone Who Submitted a coffin in exchange for money?

OR will Everyone Who Submitted be able to make their Salesman Blorbo into Hu Tao's Salesman Blorbo (in the case of whoever submitted Hu Tao, can they teach Hu Tao self love) in exchange for YIPPIE YOUR BLORBO!!!!!!!!!

CAN YOU SELL YOUR BLORBO TO THE BLORBO? OR WILL YOU ALL BUY FROM SOMEONE'S BLORBO?

HU TAO (Genshin Impact)

EVERYONE WHO SUBMITTED (YOU!!!!!!!)

Voting ended onJun 27, 2025

PROPAGANDA

HU TAO

(nothing submitted, feel free to make their case!!!)

EVERYONE WHO SUBMITTED

You already sold your blorbo to this competition, now you just gotta sell your blorbo to all the submitted blorbos

[salesperson-competition]

ROUND 1 - TEAM ROCKET (IN DISGUISE) vs J. T. FIELDS (JACK)

Will Team Rocket (in disguise) be able to sell J. T. Fields (Jack) whatever will help them blend into the crowd the best/whatever will sell in exchange for Money (and maybe even "the twerps' pikachu"?)

OR will J. T. Fields (Jack) be able to sell Team Rocket (in disguise) "oh, you know. needful things" in exchange for favors and money?

FOR ALL WE KNOW J. T. FIELDS IS TEAM ROCKET IN DISGUISE

TEAM ROCKET IN DISGUISE (Pokemon)

J. T. FIELDS / JACK (Old Gods of Appalachia)

Voting ended onJun 27, 2025

PROPAGANDA

TEAM ROCKET IN DISGUISE

(no propaganda submitted)

J. T. FIELDS (JACK)

"Jack is a business owner, salesman, and mythological trickster. Unbound by both the green and the dark, Jack is free (within reason) to ply his trade and play his tricks."

[salesperson-competition]

ROUND 1 - TIMMY AND TOMMY NOOK vs THE SURVEY YOU GUYS USED TO SUBMIT CHARACTERS TO THIS POLL

Will Timmy and Tommy Nook be able to sell the Survey You Guys Used to Submit Characters to This Poll (SYGUSCTP for short) furniture and clothing in exchange for bells (animal crossing currency)

OR will The Survey You Guys Used to Submit Characters to This Poll (SYGUSCTP, or Sygus for short) be able to sell Timmy and Tommy Nook on "selling a salesman who sells the selling of selling on someone" in exchange for "you tell me"

Hm. Uh. Yeah.

TIMMY AND TOMMY NOOK (Animal Crossing)

THE SURVEY YOU GUYS USED TO SUBMIT CHARACTERS TO THIS POLL/SYGUSCTP (This Poll)

Voting ended onJun 27, 2025

PROPAGANDA

TIMMY AND TOMMY NOOK

"two lil guys trying to make a living and follow in their uncle’s footsteps heck yeah also the one repeats in a mumbled voice the end of the other’s sentences and it’s so sweet 🥺"

"you’ll get a coupon* for their store if you vote for them (*not an actual coupon, just the knowledge that you supported these lil fellas)"

SYGUS

(the submitter did not submit any propaganda but I want tip my hat to them because I burst out laughing when I saw this submission)

[salesperson-competition]

ROUND 1 - STAN vs EMAILS IN MY INBOX TRYING TO SELL ME THINGS

Will Stan be able to sell all the emails in my inbox used pirate ships, used coffins, and/or life insurance in exchange for money?

OR will all the advertisement emails in my inbox be able to sell Stan whatever it is they are trying to sell me?

Um.

STAN (Monkey Island)

EMAILS IN MY INBOX (My Email Inbox)

Voting ended onJun 27, 2025

Neither of them have any propaganda

[salesperson-competition]

ROUND 1 - THE IMPOSTER vs SEAM

Will The Imposter be able to convince Seam they are a regular crewmate in exchange for not getting ejected from the ship?

OR will Seam sell The Imposter burgers, candy, armor, and a part of a key in exchange for Dark Dollars?

THE DARKNESS OF SPACE OR THE DARK FOUNTAIN?

THE IMPOSTER (Among US)

SEAM (Deltarune)

Voting ended onJun 27, 2025

PROPAGANDA

THE IMPOSTER

"if it fails it dies"

SEAM

"An old tattered doll-like darkner, selling you wares. [They’re] an old soul who's apparently lived through some rather dark times…but [they] still nonetheless [help] where [they] can."

(Mod note: the brackets are where I edited the quote to use the correct pronouns. Fun fact in case no one taught you, that’s how you edit quotes to fit into your sentences better in essays if they otherwise don’t fit grammatically or use the wrong pronouns or whatnot, so you can make the quote work better while acknowledging that you did in fact edit it! The more you know! Also I know for the purposes of a tumble poll that doesn’t matter but like figured I’d pass on this info in a fun and relevant way for YOUR next essay! Also to call out anyone using a quote to misgender someone when they could’ve used the bracket method or something…idk how often that happens but like now you have more knowledge)

[salesperson-competition]

ROUND 1 - THE LAMB vs RYSN FTORI

Will The Lamb be able to convince Rysn Ftori to join their cult?

OR will will Rysn Ftori be able to sell The Lamb whatever they need (obviously) in exchange for a quarter of the weapon that killed a god?

TWO PEOPLE WITH GODKILLING WEAPONS......

THE LAMB (Cult of the Lamb)

RYSN FTORI (The Stormlight Archive)

Voting ended onJun 27, 2025

PROPAGANDA

THE LAMB

"not only are they able to amass a sizeable cult, but they also overthrew their patron god and then CONVERTED HIM INTO FOLLOWING THEM"

RYSN FTORI

"Look she managed to convince a society of secret-keeping bugs that they want to keep her alive and let her keep the planet-destroying weapon cause she'll train them in being human. She also got the queen of the world to build her a wheelchair. She may not be a 'take your soul' kinda sell person but she WILL sell you what you need, and get what she needs in return."

"My GIRL. Also, disability!!"

[salesperson-competition]

ROUND 1 - PAPA vs CABBAGE GUY

Will Papa convince the Cabbage Guy to run one of his many franchises in his effort to expand his "eria" empire?

OR will the Cabbage Guy sell Papa a Cabbage in exchange for money?

COULD THEY PERHAPS TEAM UP TO MAKE PAPA'S CABBAGERIA?

PAPA (various Papa's games)

THE CABBAGE GUY (Avatar The Last Airbender)

Voting ended onJun 27, 2025

PROPAGANDA

(there is no propaganda, feel free to make their case!)

[salesperson-competition]

ROUND 1 - SQUID GAME RECRUITER vs MOIST VON LIPWIG

Will the Squid Game Recruiter *checks notes* *nothing was submitted* *I've not seen the show yet* *so I'm gonna extrapolate from the name* successfully recruit Moist von Lipwig into the Squid Games in exchange for....whatever he gets out of doing that (I'm guessing money???? pls help me good voters)

OR will Moist von Lipwig sell the Squid Game Recruiter anything from a fake diamond ring to the Brass Bridge in exchange for money and/or not being executed for his crimes?

WILL MOIST VON LIPWIG BE GOING TO THE SQUID GAMES? OR WILL THE RECRUITER GET A FAKE DIAMOND RING?

SQUID GAME RECRUITER (Squid Game)

MOIST VON LIPWIG (Discworld)

Voting ended onJun 27, 2025

PROPAGANDA

(nothing was submitted, so feel free to make their cases!)

[salesperson-competition]

ROUND 1 - C!TECHNOBLADE vs WARIO

Will c!Technoblade sell wario merch in exchange for CASH?

OR will Wario sell c!Technoblade microgames in exchange for money (for pizza and other things)?

MERCH OR MICROGAMES??

C!TECHNOBLADE (Dream SMP)

WARIO (WarioWare)

Voting ended onJun 27, 2025

PROPAGANDA

C!TECHNOBLADE

"Anarchist. No canon design. features in a heartbreaking tale about generational trauma, seperation from family, how political ideology tears people apart, and the amnesiac space child."

WARIO

"WARIOOOOOO"

[salesperson-competition]

ROUND 1 - SIGRID vs ERIC CHAPMAN

Will Sigrid be able to sell Eric Chapman alchemical ingredients and potons, overpriced magical training and equipment, and satisfaction of supporting the Kvatch Mages' Guild in exchange for money, magical items, and the clothes off Eric's back?

OR will Eric Chapman sell Sigrid funerals and funeral-related amenities in exchange for money (and the love of the populace)?

MAGIC OR FUNERAL TIME?

SIGRID (Prequel/Oblivion)

ERIC CHAPMAN (Wooden Overcoats)

Voting ended onJun 27, 2025

PROPAGANDA

SIGRID

"Sigrid is just an amazing person, and very persuasive! It's not always easy for people to remember EXACTLY what she said, but they definitely agree that she made quite persuasive arguments resulting in an incredibly fair and reasonable deal, where they empty out their pockets in exchange for nothing."

"The original version of Sigrid from Oblivion has the maximum level in Haggling skill, which presumably inspired Prequel Sigrid, and shows that even without her charm magic she's a great salesperson"

ERIC CHAPMAN

"It's Eric Chapman! Everybody (well, except for the Funns) loves him! Has a mysterious past."