Grey Pages

[saltedpopcornz-blog]

Is this Happiness?

you make me smile, make my heart jump and skip a beat

yet I am thinking if is it you who I wanted to make me feel that way

you are wonderful, the way I wanted, the way I needed

you’re picking up every piece of me

I appreciate every moment you are giving to me

I owe to you the world you are trying to build for me

yet I’m not sure if this is what I really wanted

It seems like the door to this heart of mine is still closed

you arrived a little bit earlier than I expected

yet there you are, willing to wait until the door opens

I can see your eyes as it shines so bright

I can feel the tight grip as you hold my hand

Every second with you feels like a familiar feeling that has been lost not so long ago

I cling to your company for that happy feeling, so warm, so true

yet every day as it ends, I felt cold and empty and sad

Everything turns out to be temporary as I ran back to my grief

Is this happiness? 

Is this what I truly wanted?

Is it right to let you be there, just there waiting?

I never wanted to hurt you, I never wanted to give false hopes

yet you are willing to give your best because you are happy 

but am I really happy?

[saltedpopcornz-blog]

And my thoughts are complete, yet the only one I miss is you. . .

[saltedpopcornz-blog]

Haunted

You’re still in my dreams

though you already left me 

You are long gone

but still, you make me feel the pain like it was yesterday.

I want you to stop haunting me

I want you gone, I want you out in my head

I never wanted to feel this way towards you 

you are not part of my life anymore

yet, the thought of you still lingers like monsters in my bed

I’m already tired

I just want to forget you

but how?

you’ve become the biggest part of my life

you made me the man I have long wished of becoming

you build me up, but only to bring me down

I feel like the world is pressing me down

I cannot even find the strength to stand

I want to be free from this torment

Walk away and bring everything with you

Let me sleep

Set me free

[saltedpopcornz-blog]

Sighs

It never occurred to me that you’d be leaving me one day

despite all the moments we’ve been through together

the laughter, the hugs, the kisses and all the love

maybe that’s why it hurts so much, as I watch you crying, silent,

All I did was loving you with all that I knew

I built my world around you

Now everything crumbled to pieces

All that is left is this void in my heart

I can’t imagine life without you

yet this imagination is already my reality

Now that you’re gone

all I have to do is to go on without you

You took away the meaning of happiness I once knew

Now I have to start all over again

It will take a while for me to bring back all of what I used to know about me

I’ll get there someday, you’ll see

Farewell . . . . . 

[extramadness]

[saltedpopcornz-blog]

and you did everything to make them care even for a bit :(

[saltedpopcornz-blog]

Note to Self

Dear Self,

I'm sorry that you have to go through all this pain.

But yes, I need you to stay there for a while. After all, when you're hurting, you know you lost someone special.

It's heartbreaking when you know that you've lost a home. A home where your heart feels happy, contented and secured. A home where you feel loved A home like no other.

Things happen for a reason and you should accept whatever is up ahead.

Things may never be the same again from now on, but eventually you will find the answers to all the questions you still have in mind.

I never wanted you to let her go, I never wanted you to give up, but maybe this is what she need, and maybe you needed it too.

There might be no more crossroads but who knows.

Be sad, until you don't feel sad anymore. Indulge in the moment like it will never happen again. Walk slow, there are memories worth remembering in these times, memories that will soon fade in time. Don't rush, it's hard to forget something that has been there for a long time.

And when you're finally satisfied going through all this chaos, Cheer up! Then keep going. It will be better someday, Just have faith! :)