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Research Dream Team

I need to make the work a game. Something enjoyable.

For example, my research for Embody Inclusivity can be something sweet in the mornings with tea.

Research articles. A quick read and some notes. Around 15-20 minutes of interest.

#journal

this is what I want in my partner

I want us to spiritually and politically align.

If we do then, it is likely that we will intellectually align.

In terms of the spiritual, I believe we should also sexually align.

Someone who is secure, therefore has good communication skills and coping mechanisms.

An open mind, certain level of maturity, emotional intelligence and discernment are needed.

We are different, but we have common interests which keep us active, and more importantly, creative.

#pinkfullmoon #journaling #future

Instead of wishing me any luck for my interview or asking how they can support my parents just are ungrateful and unhappy people.

My dad keeps saying I haven’t done anything in last 3 years meanwhile I have been working full time (built a whole career in non-profits) went back to school, tackled my mental health and well-being. And my mother says things about me that many people would be jarred by... very bitter lady that woman. My heart feels for her depression. They both are the reason for their own unhappiness and discontentment.

Lol they go to bed and leave me to start my day drenched in their misery but I’m not gonna let it get to me. I’m too old for the days when the people closest to you are hell bent on tearing you down because of their own anxieties, fears and (false) beliefs. Trapped in worlds only thinking of themselves and hurt enough to believe that happiness and contentment is the goal. It’s frankly selfish when they project that onto others. Those people will never truly be happy or content.

I am proud of my chosen family. The women that have stepped up in ways that feels nourishing. My feminine energy is strong and I am grateful. They show me compassion and give me support as we unlearn our conditionings and heal together from our traumas. Having them around is all the success I need in this moment and what I have to offer is enough for them.

Back Stabbing Toxic Queens

Further reflection- but then I took a breather - talked to my lil brother who offered sage advice and confidence - and so I realized - if people are willing to scapegoat you for mistakes they also made because it furthers their agenda - WITHOUT you present in the room to be fairly represented and then shut you out - then they’re not worth fighting for because they are better served by my silence - if I was in the room would their agenda have gotten anywhere?? It’s easier to deflect onto others... things you do not want to confront within yourself...?? Like their shit is toxic with or without me in the picture.

I admit I shared things that out of context and perhaps in the moment may be hard to hear and if it’s hurt feelings then I’m sorry... but I never sling mud. Oversharing is an ADHD problem I am working on.

All I know is that my mindset has shifted. I’m no longer anxiously waiting to appease and correct.

I feel empowered enough to stand my ground because I know my heart and my intentions.

What would I be fighting for? Relationships in which I was disposable and an easy target? Nah, I’m too old for that shit. I may have a bad rep. But y’all just did me a favour by cutting me out of your toxicity...

Cheers

#journal

I want to make art,

Come make art with me.

Teach me to see with me hands.

Teach me to speak with my body.

Teach me to hold with my gaze.

Teach me to create.

I want to make art,

Come make art with me.

Colour me in the blues.

Sing me to sleep.