My name is Samael

I am an angel of the Lord, and I have no idea what I'm doing here. (Open to RP starters)

[samael-has-arrived]

Holy crap I’m back I think

So, update on why I vanished this time

Weather sucks, so slow as Fuck internet that won’t stay connected

My grandmother spent the last couple of weeks being a nightmare (as in I had to watch her near constantly because she kept messing with shit that could potentially hurt her or us)

My mom’s health declined for a bit, so I had to keep an eye on her.

Finally, I lost my GOD DAMNED PHONE

So, keeping my fingers crossed, I find my phone and the internet actually holds out today.

[samael-has-arrived]

Also gonna add the fact that my FUCKING COMPUTER IS BROKE.

[samael-has-arrived]

I know I bothered you once today but I thought I should let you know that Samael and Balthazar's partner's are in a gang now......whoops.

Not that surprising

[samael-has-arrived]

You're..... okay....? Oh thank fucking God.

I posted a thing yesterday saying what happened hun. Didn't you see it?

[asomdpoakdoakd-deactivated20180]

why would i fuck a demon? simple, the status. imagine rolling up into hell already havin had ur back blown out by one of their own. imagine you and a gang of other losers standin at the gates of hell, they’re all crying, scared to death about having a pitchfork up their ass for eternity and you just walk into the arms of your sugar demon? legendary.

[mauismuses]

@samael-has-arrived is this you?

[samael-has-arrived]

Shhh, no one must know

[samael-has-arrived]

Throwback to Zelda with a set of mana and health potions.

[samael-has-arrived]

Holy crap I'm back I think

So, update on why I vanished this time

Weather sucks, so slow as Fuck internet that won't stay connected

My grandmother spent the last couple of weeks being a nightmare (as in I had to watch her near constantly because she kept messing with shit that could potentially hurt her or us)

My mom's health declined for a bit, so I had to keep an eye on her.

Finally, I lost my GOD DAMNED PHONE

So, keeping my fingers crossed, I find my phone and the internet actually holds out today.

[samael-has-arrived]

The fog we had this morning froze on everything.

[samael-has-arrived]

Final painting for today: priest!samael

[samael-has-arrived]

Rings? Like Saturn?

Hmmm maybe, I'll run a few tests on spare posterboard and see how I like it.

[samael-has-arrived]

It sucks not having a job

I can't collect on tax returns.

[samael-has-arrived]

Sun? Satellite? Person?

I honestly thought about butting in a sun but it would look like a kindergarten attempt at best.

[samael-has-arrived]

Doing a new painting, any suggestions? Its missing something.

[p1ss]

[ejacutastic]

I DIDN’T LEARN ABOUT THIS IN DRIVING SCHOOL

[biszumletzten]

Stop says the red light, go says the green

Wait says the yellow light, twinkling in between. 

KNEEL, SAYS THE DEMON LIGHT WITH ITS EYE OF COAL  SAURON KNOWS YOUR LICENSE PLATE  AND STARES INTO YOUR SOUL

[demonsnakes-deactivated20160829]

THIS IS ALWAYS FUNNY

[furbearingbrick]

I’ve only seen this legendary post in screenshots

[samael-has-arrived]

I love the rhyme far beyond passing appreciation. I sing it randomly during the day, it's captured me.

[samael-has-arrived]

I forgot to post a picture of my painting I finished last night. Please enjoy.

[samael-has-arrived]

Fyi I'm up for selling some of these that I post. I could use some income. (not this one tho, my mother laid claim to it once I showed her)

[samael-has-arrived]

I forgot to post a picture of my painting I finished last night. Please enjoy.

[shrimplydelicious]

“I’m finally going to write! I have a great idea!”

[edgelord-trashcan]

LAUGHS LOUDLY

[local-baby-boy-peter-parker]

[samael-has-arrived]

*laughs violently then slowly melds into loud sobbing*

[millennial-review-deactivated20]

[astrangeenchantedboy]

“millenials are so stupid, they can’t perform basic life skills” cries the generation that failed to teach their children basic life skills

[exceptionalcelestial]

also a lot of those practical skills were taught in classes like home ec that have been cut completely as schools slash all spending not related to sports and STEM

[samael-has-arrived]

I wasn't taught any of this at school, I either nagged the shit outta my mom or learned myself because I wanted to.

Downside, I only learned things I thought were interesting, so I have no idea how to balance a checkbook or even write a check properly. But I do know how to make a meal out of what I have, sew by hand, and change a tire and oil in a car.

Kids, if you ever want to know how to do this, you can look it up and learn or ask someone you trust from an older generation to help. Don't be ashamed and most importantly: be eager to learn something new that will help you in the long run.