I trace the silhouette,
of my dreams and love as they lose their colour,
while the vows we made now speak of their own end.
In those burnt fields, I harvest emptiness,
gifting this poem
to your pale, translucent white skin, (1)
to its phosphorous fire.
From dreams,
from dream to dream I walk down a glass road,
from dreams even tears evaporate (2)
from dreams,
from dreams I am awakened into a world
where even memories become dreams.
Something takes flight - a reflection -
and my heartbeat points the way,
playing out a lie.
Like a realist painter,
painting reality down to its every detail,
I plead “I want you by my side”,
and still, I smile. (3)
Minerva (4)
(chorus repeats)
My haphazardly scattered hopes,
were never for anyone’s sake -
a mere reflection of my weakness.
This me that is stranded here -
what shall I sing about now?
“I’m not even allowed hope…”
O devil, come to me when I clap my hands,
we shall play tag,
and I shall switch places with you… (5) (6)
--
(1) The original does not specify “your” in this line. In Japanese possessives are often left up to interpretation. I chose to use the pronoun “yours” here because the poem includes allusions to vows and later “I want you to stay with me”, so I assumed the narrator is addressing someone else.
(2) It’s hard to convey the subtleties of this verse in English, but what the narrator means is that dreams become an idealised form of memories, that we eventually forget the bad moments.
(3) This stanza was very hard to translate accurately because the writing is very abstract. The painter is implied to be the narrator, but it’s unclear if “I want you by my side” is something the narrator says or if this is said to him. It’s also unclear if it’s him who smiles or the person he is addressing. This is my best attempt at making sense of it: the painter is the narrator. He draws very realistic pictures of the person they want by their side. Obviously the pictures cannot replace the real person, so they hide their grief by smiling along.
(4) Minerva was the Roman goddess of the Arts - among other things. She overlaps with the Greek Athena. You’ll notice that this poem contains a lot of references to the arts: poems, silhouettes, reflections, a painter, dreams, singing.
(5) I translated “鬼” (oni) as a devil, but Oni in Japanese mythology are not exactly the devil as we know it in Abrahamic religions. Japanese Oni are a mix of a devil, a troll and an ogre. Oni supposedly live hidden and never reveal themselves. In this stanza, the narrator is daring the Oni to reveal itself and play 鬼ごっこ (Oni Gokko) with him. Oni Gokko is a popular children’s tag game where one player is tagged as the Oni and has to catch the others blindfolded by following the sound of their clapping. This is a reference to an innocent children’s game but it takes a darker turn when the narrator asks the Oni to switch places with him - they become “it” - implying that their life is a kind of hell better fit for a demon.
(6) In this stanza, the verb “switch” is deliberately left unfinished (変わ… ). In album version and live performances, Kyo also leaves the verb ending hanging mid-air. This is a stylist choice, I presume to imply that the narrator got snatched away by the devil before they could finish.
--
Stylistic notes
This is a very beautiful poem, one of my favourites by Dir en Grey. I’m bummed that I can’t even begin to transpose its structure and imagery onto English - I had to make some changes so the logic is understandable by English standards. The original uses a lot of metaphors from the semantic field of transparency and ghostliness: silhouettes, things that lose colour, pale translucent skin, phosphorous fire, a glass road, tears, playing a game blindfolded.. all these things are almost transparent, hard to see. The original structure of the stanzas (hard to reproduce here without making it even more cryptic) is also deliberate to reinforce the airiness and transience of its vocabulary and theme.
Thankya for the tag! 💜 My top 5 shifts around a lot depending on my mood and the category being discussed, but these will always hit the spot for me:
Dark Light (HIM, 2005)
Transylvania 90210 (Wednesday 13, 2005)
Beautiful Mess: Live on Earth (Jason Mraz, 2009)
LUCIFERO (ギャロ, 2016)
Abracadabra (Buck-Tick, 2020)
I taaaaag: @j-rock-freakshow @straysodacowboy @madamcrimson @tabanosa @pikkuinen @spectralstormcloud @nocturnalgrimoire and anyone else who might like to share!
Again, don't be a dick - don't plagiarie or take screenshots of this post.
About each song:
ISOLATION: Kaoru is the one who composed this instrumental piece, and it was written after all 13 songs were completed. It was the last track to be added to the album. In fact, Kaoru worked on it in secret from the rest of the band and asked the management to only announce that the album was "planned to have 13 songs", to leave himself an exit door in case the band didn't like it when he finally had them listen to ISOLATION, but fortunately they agreed to include it in the album. Kaoru had Takumi participate in the composition of ISOLATION. Kaoru imagines a hazy and floating atmosphere when he listens to the song.
Kaijin ni Kisu: When Kyo sang the vocal melody, he felt like neither Japanese nor English was quite right for the first part of the song, so he remembered Deity from MACABRE and found it interesting. He picked Russian because of how it sounded, not necessarily for the meaning of the words. Although the title "Deity" was never mentioned in the members' discussions when talking about Kaijin ni Kisu, they did all consider composing a song similar to Deity that is compact and ends without significant development. The vocals for the opening part were already there when this idea was born. Kaoru mentioned that Kaijin ni Kisu was originally rejected during a song selection meeting because the members felt that it was monotonou. He had written it at the beginning of 2025, but he eventually suggested that they could retrieve rejected songs. It was only when it finished being arranged and recorded, at the end of 2025 or beginning of 2026, that Kaoru felt like they finally had a song worthy of being the first song on the album.
En'en: This song was written by Die, and it originally had more elements that are typical of his songs, such as an arpeggio opening.
Discard: The bass phrase at the beginning was the first thing to be ready and stick, but everything else quickly flowed to create the whole song after that.
Bloodline: Shinya is behind Bloodline, but he wasn't confident in it at first. It wasn't supposed to make it through the selection, but according to him, Kyo started working on the vocal melody for it by mistake and, since he liked the result, the song progressed. Kyo actually said that he had specifically really liked the melody that Shinya had come up with, so he insisted on including it on the album even after the rest of the band had rejected it. Shinya found out about his misconception when the interviewer revealed Kyo's answer in Phy vol. 29, and Shinya's response, which had at first been: "Sou nan desu ka?" (Is that so?) was repeated but as: "Sou nan desu ka........" (Is that so.......) When Shinya composes, he is almost conscious to have nothing in mind. It was Kaoru who added the drum part near the end of the song, and Shinya kept it as-is. Kaoru said that if he had asked Shinya about the arrangements that he planned to incorporate, Shinya would have just told him to go with whatever, so he didn't even bother asking. He took care to add simple arrangements though. He made the part where Shinya hits the snare drum repetitively longer on purpose, to make Shinya shine more. The koto notes at the beginning came from Shinya from the start.
There's nothing else: Made through back-and-forth discussions between Die and Kyo. Kaoru finds the vocals catchy, but the guitar riff is hard to play.
Hizumi to Ame: The drum section in the demo was kept almost as-is. Shinya said that Die's demos usually have solid drum sections already. In songs like Hizumi to Ame, Die would have never dared to ask Kyo or any singer to aim for such high notes, and he was really impressed by what Kyo came up with. In fact, the song was initially rejected, but when the band thought about reconsidering certain demos, Kyo convinced them to select Hizumi to Ame because it had a melody that they never had before. Toshiya feels like this is the song that stands out the most for its unique sound on this album.
The Devil In Me: Kaoru says that it was placed in the middle of the track list for a reason. It's the centrepiece of the album. The band was hesitating between The Devil In Me and another song that was ready at the time, but they eventually figured that The Devil In Me was the most single-worthy, and they might have discarded the other song: Kaoru can't remember which one it was.
MOBS: Die feels like this song is the most representative of the album and of Dir en grey now. Shinya said that MOBS is his favourite song on the album and is a song that encapsulates what people in their 40s or 50s can do. Kaoru originally wanted to have the arpeggio phrase repeat on and on, but it wasn't exciting enough. To prompt the members to contribute their ideas to the MOBS demo, Kaoru deliberately left out certain parts in the structure, for them to fill in.
Void: Kyo's vocal melody was there from the beginning, and Kaoru worked on the arrangements to make that melody sound good. It was near the end that the second half came about.
Demand: It was one of the two songs to be recorded first. The song wasn't completed when the band started playing it live, so there were at least parts of the vocals that were re-recorded based on the live performance experience. Kaoru's intention with this song was to create a melody that was hard to understand and that followed the 'character' in the lyrics, who was progressively going mad.
Kusabi: When Kyo heard the laidback and sticky riffs that Kaoru came up with for this song and for Moumoku ga yue ni, he felt like: "That's it!", that was the space-making but dense sound they were looking for. It was the last song to be finished though. It somewhat came from a feeling that there were too many songs with "beautiful" vocals this time around, and they needed something more intense. Interestingly, Kusabi is the combination of two songs: we can hear the forced merge around the 2:19 mark.
Moumoku ga yue ni: Kaoru feels like this one, along with Kaijin no Kisu, were the songs that cemented the 'answer' that he was looking for while composing for the new album. He worked on both at the same time, and he thinks that either could have been the first track on the album, but Moumoku ga yue ni ended up being too intense for the beginning. The line about solitary confinement being too roomy and the line in 'no end' about a narrow-minded room echo Kyo's impression that, whenever he imagines himself surrounding by people, he feels alone and like everybody is heading in the opposite direction as his. Kaoru thought that Dir en grey needed songs like this one right now, and if he hadn't been worried about the overall balance on the album, he would have included more of those groovy songs.
no end: This is one of Die's songs, but since he knew that it wouldn't be the core of the album, it was set aside while the album kept being worked on. Shinya feels like this song is very special, and like his drumming on it is perfect. Kaoru is the one who came up with the B melody that goes right into the chorus. With songs like "no end", Kyo repeated that he sings with the intention to convey something, but he knows that it won't reach the people, that they won't believe him, therefore he's the one getting hurt in the end.
Special Interview: DIE (hide with Spread Beaver/Ra:IN) - Translation
[Published in the book hide word FILE by Oshima Akemi, 2018]
DIE was selected as a member of the hide band after playing keyboard as support for the band ZI:KILL that hide had discovered. He, whom hide loved for his mischievous, daring image even though he had a low tolerance for hide's beloved alcohol, told us about the side of hide that people do not know.
- Do you remember the first time you met?
DIE: I remember. It started when hide-chan had his solo debut and appeared on "Music Station" and I was asked to come. I waited nervously in the dressing room that morning, but in the end, I met him afterwards at a place called "Little Star" in Roppongi. He handed me the "HIDE YOUR FACE" CD and told me, "If you like this, I'd like to work with you." Although I had done some work in backing bands, that was the first time someone said something like that to me. I figured he probably didn't want someone who didn't like the music and was just doing it for work. "This is someone who takes his own music very seriously," was my first impression of him. At that time, hide-chan was wearing sunglasses and talked only about music. I drank two moscow mules even though I am no good with alcohol, but in the end it was hide-chan who declared, "I better go home now." He must have been exhausted, was struggling to speak. The moment we left the bar, he threw up. (laughs)
- What was your impression when you listened to that CD?
DIE: Honestly, I was surprised. It was very good, and it felt more like "New Rock" than the album of a guitarist. Most importantly, it was all about the vocals. Another thing that surprised me was that on the first day of the rehearsals, hide-chan bleached my hair. My hair was black at the time, which he apparently thought was a bit plain, so he made the other members wait in the studio. That's not normal, is it? At that time I did not know he had a cosmetology license and was very baffled, thinking, "Who is this guy?"
- Did he just come up with that?
DIE: Yeah. I don't know if he had thought of it before or if it just suddenly came to mind, but he said, "Let's make you blond!" Also, the name DIE: When we were drinking at "Little Star", he said to me, "DIE-chan, that's D.I.E., isn't it? It means, "death", that's so cool!" Being around 30 years old at the time, I thought, "Is it, though?", but I couldn't say, "NO". Same with the blond hair, I thought, "For real?!", but I couldn't say "NO"… However, while I had played in other backing bands, I had never had a chance to drink and talk with the star before, so I felt some affection towards him and thought, "I want to be of use to this person."
- That was the start of the solo-tour, right?
DIE: Yeah. The people around hide-chan, also known as the "Matsumoto-group", were all funny and considerate people who felt like a family. For the segments where hide-chan wasn't on stage, the members and the staff would excitedly suggest things like, "Let's do the crab-dance here," or "How about a little bit of keyboard?" It was the kind of atmosphere where hide-chan just set the tone and then everyone was free to do whatever. While I did see him get angry if a live show didn't go well, he was overall a calm person who didn't say much. Since the song "SCANNER" didn't have keyboard in it and I didn't have anything to do throughout it, I added some "Pi-" noises by myself without saying anything to hide-chan. Then, about halfway through the tour, he said to me, "DIE-chan, that ghostly synth-sound, that was good!" That made me happy, thinking, "Oh, he really listened to me," giving his OK even though the sound interfered with his guitar, giving us that flexibility. I think, rather than putting himself first, he enjoyed collaborating with everyone.
- DIE-san, wasn't it because of hide-san's advise as well that you picked up a guitar on stage?
DIE: That's right. One time he noticed that I had nothing to do and looked bored during the rehearsal for "OBLAAT", so he told me, "Why don't you grab a guitar and come forward?" You can see everything that's going on because of the mirrors in the studio. He was always looking around even when he pretended otherwise. At the second afterparty of one night during the tour, I was feeling a little unwell and resting on the stairs outside the bar, when hide-chan came to me and said, "You don't have to force yourself to drink alcohol." With so many people inside that dark bar, I am surprised he even noticed my absence. Didn't he say in interviews and such that "it's a requirement for being in my band that you can hold your alcohol"? Even so, he was kind to me. Talking to PATA, he also said that hide-chan could be a troublemaker, but I think he did that on purpose. At that afterparty, he must have been thinking, "I have to do my best as hide."
- During the tours, you were always together, right?
DIE: Apparently, he told the staff, "Treat the others the same as me," and so, when we were on the road as well as in the hotels, hide-chan was always with us. He probably wanted us to feel like a band. But there were always cameras rolling while traveling and in the dressing room, and while that made me feel like a star, it was very stressful that we couldn't let our guard down.
- During the second tour, at the Chiba Marine Stadium (Now: ZOZO Marine Stadium), you injured your foot, didn't you?
DIE: The day after that event was the first live performance of GLAY at Nippon Budôkan (I was also a support member of GLAY), so the first thing I thought was "What am I supposed to do tomorrow…?" (laughs) But something happened at the time of that event that I can't forget. After the performance was over, hide-chan came to my place and told me, "DIE-chan, even with a broken bone, we're still taking you along for the tour, so don't worry." I thought then, "Look at that, this is someone who understands what others are feeling." He immediately thought about my feelings. And then, when we were on the road, he pushed my wheelchair and all. He was a kind guy.
- This may not be the best way to phrase it, but on stage, a "good performace" was the objective, wasn't it?
DIE: I think that was also because of hide-chan. During the tours, the song "Natural Born Onanist" from my own solo album was supposed to be performed at the time when hide-chan changed clothes, but because I had broken my food, he offered to push around my wheelchair. And then he pushed it wherever I pointed. If he hadn't done that, it wouldn't have been as exciting. In that regard, he was an amazing producer. He made cool things cooler and funny things funnier, and i think he had the best sense for balance.
- How did things go when you started hide with Spread Beaver?
DIE: We weren't told anything. We were asked to come to X JAPAN's Last Live, and the first time we heard about it was when we were shown the full-page ad in the morning paper at the afterparty. He looked so happy, going, "See, isn't this amazing?" but we were all like, "Uh, what is this?" No one had any complaints since this was good news, but he never asked for our agreement. Anyway, he loved surprising people and making them happy. We were getting surprised all the time, so at the final show of the regional tour, the band members and the staff got together and decided to secretly change the start of one of the songs. hide-chan wasn't used to being the one who got surprised, so he was left with his mouth hanging open in shock.
- That sounds like fun just hearing about it.
DIE: We were all close in age, so it felt like we were just hanging out with each other. hide-chan used the word "Kotona" for those times. It's a mix of "Kodomo" [child] and "Otona" [adult], he'd say to the band "You are all kotona." When we were on tour, I was the only one who had to return home early in the morning for work, and as I was about to leave the hotel, I found hide-chan and I.N.A.-chan completely wasted in the lobby, before they proceeded to chase my taxi 100 meters down the road. When I later asked, "What were you doing?" they told me, "We were exploring the hotel," and I thought, "You guys are middle schoolers…" "Kotona" really referred to hide-chan himself.
- What were the words you heard most often?
DIE: "Let's go drink" or "Let's have a drink," stuff like that. Even though he didn't say it to me as much, a lot of what he said had to do with alcohol. There was remarkably little talk about women. I don't mean it in a weird way, but hide-chan was a little feminine himself. He played his guitar solos like he was sewing, in a feminine way. Male guitarists play roughly, like "Ja—ng!", but what hide-chan did was more delicate. Up until then, I had never been in awe when meeting a CEO or someone else admirable; I think with hide-chan that happened for the first time. I guess that's what happens when you meet someone you can truly respect.
- Being in awe of someone doesn't happen often, does it?
DIE: Yeah. I never felt that way with anyone else. Sometimes, he had that look in his eyes that made it impossible to tell what he was thinking, and that may have been a point that put me in awe because it set him apart from ordinary people. Also, he loved music so much and listened to a lot of CDs. When I went to his place in L.A., I was surprised by the number of CDs he had.
- Earlier, you mentioned that he started hide with Spread Beaver without telling you about it, but what happened after that?
DIE: He never said anything like "Let's do it this or that way." He just said, "I want to record "TELL ME" with these members. Let's start from there." Even though he did not say a word, I understood completely when he showed us the newspaper announcement. "Oh," I thought, "it's a band", and we already got excited. One time, there were issues with the schedule, and I was told on the phone, "DIE-chan, like this you can't go on tour with us," and I was like, "Wait a second. I want to go with you, hide-chan," and managed to rearrange the conflicting schedule. Because I thought, "If I'm with hide-chan, I might make it out into the world."
- What were the last words you exchanged with hide-chan?
DIE: The evening before he passed away, we went to a bar with a live band after filming a TV program, and he was in a good mood and requested the song "Honesty" (Billy Joel). At that time, the word "Dioxin" was being used by everyone, and he laughed like he had fun and he played around with the words DIE and Dioxin, saying they should make a song that goes like, "DIEDIEDIEDIEDioxin".
- If you could say something to hide-san now, what would it be?
DIE: Something like, "Let's do it again, together." And also, "Thank you."
- hide-chan must have been a very special person to you.
DIE: He was. Because he was someone who often played pranks. One time, I did "Pink Spider" with Osawa Yoshiyuki-san, and during that tour, swallowtail butterflies were fluttering around all over Japan, no matter where we went. That was strange, because swallowtails are not something you see very often. Also, when I went to the X JAPAN concert at Tokyo Dome where hide-chan appeared in 3D, I couldn't find the cigarette pack with the ticket inside that I had left in the dressing room, and I was about to give up and accept that I had lost it when it somehow showed up in my car. On top of that, the ticket number was 110. 110 was Hideto's number, and it was also the license plate of Kujira (hide's beloved car), so I thought, "hide-chan is up to his mischief again." I'm sure he got a kick out of watching me panic.
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