The only time I fall to my knees is when I feed my insecurities. My insecurities do not feed me. That is not how it works. Sometimes I begin to pray but the cold tiles hurt my knees and my reflection in the porcelain tells me otherwise. I try to search for a voice to tell me to stop but the other voices, the bad ones, drown out any chance of hope I have. I put my elbows on the toilet and stare into the water. Again. I see my reflection. I feel guilty. I feel weak. I feel lost. 10 minutes later my throat is on fire. I can’t open my eyes because they are filled with water and the water inside of my eyes burns too. I get up off my knees, wash my hands, brush my teeth and look into the mirror. I smile at my insecurities and they tell me that I did the right thing. But never have they smiled back.
SEC
