hot head.

17 - ATL - Junior - Taken "They Misunderestimated me" -George Bush admasville high school is my stomping ground. basketball, football, swim, guitar, piano, drums - i do it all. class clown. voted most likely to fuck it all up for myself in the end anyway. nerver deserved Mercedes Jones .

[teacupcedes]

Thank you Sammy

[sammie-e]

teacupcedes‌:

I really do appreciate you and Carter for my gifts. I love them. Thank you.

Welcome.

[sammie-e]

+ Mother’s Day Gifts from Samuel Evans to Mercedes Jones; handed to her personally by Samuel. 

From Carter

From Samuel

[teacupcedes]

Year 18

[sammie-e]

INVOLVED: Mercedes Jones, Samuel Evans, and Carter Evans TIME FRAME: Saturday, April 25, 2020 LOCATION: Jones-Evans Condo; Atlanta, Georgia SUMMARY: It’s Samuel’s 18th birthday and they couple celebrates at home, cuddled up on the couch watching the new Trolls movie. 

Keep reading

[sammie-e]

“Who need a hero?

You need a hero, look in the mirror, there go your hero”

— Kendrick Lamar - Pray for Me

[sammie-e]

Tip Top Shape

INVOLVED: Mercedes Jones, Carter Evans, and Samuel Evans TIME FRAME: LOCATION: Doctor Office; Atlanta, Georgia SUMMARY: Samuel and Mercedes takes Carter to his 1 month check up.

Mercedes sat on the examination table with Carter in her lap, her hands on his little stomach holding him to her own. She was quiet, looking around the room idly as they waited for the doctor to enter for Carter’s one-month checkup. They were a little late to the party for his check up, but given the circumstances and everything else going on, Mercedes was trying not to beat herself up about it. Her therapist had been telling her that the journey of motherhood was not linear and that it was okay to forget things and make little mistakes, but she had to forgive herself. So, Carter being a week late wasn’t going to be the end of the world. Slowly, she looked over at Samuel, looking him over before she looked away. 

 Samuel sat in the examination room and his arms were folded over his chest as they waited for their doctor to join them. He was interested to see the milestones their son had accomplished in the last month, and how much he weighed as well considering he was a hefty eater. They were a little late to the party but that would be okay considering her mental and physical health is far more important than most things right now. He licked his lips slouched down in the chair, he stuck his ring finger in his mouth, biting down on his fingernail idly. 

 Mercedes looked down at Carter as he rested against her wide awake, fidgeting and wiggling slightly. He just couldn’t stay still. Gently, Mercedes lifted him slightly, turning him to face her as she gazed down at him. “Hi,” she said to him softly, watching as his eyes light up a bit as he stared at her. Her lips twitched into a small smile at the sight of him, his little lips tugging into a smile back at her happily. She bit down on her lip before she looked at her fiancé. “He smiled at me…” she said softly.

 Dr. Acosta moved down the hallway swiftly, rubbing some hand sanitizer into her hands as she did. She spoke to a few nurses as she walked briskly, running a little late to her next appointment. The last baby was just such a handful, did not want to cooperate at all. She hopes this next one, a new patient, would be much better. She stopped off at the nurse’s station, picking up the fresh chart for Carter Evans. Hmm. She read over it carefully before she set off towards the examination room. 

 Samuel continued to bite down on his nail gently, shifting his feet in his tennis shoes a little as he slouched down in the chair a little more. He looked at his watch before he looked at Mercedes. He nodded his head slowly at her with a gentle smile, he smiled quite often, and she only just noticed for major reasons. “He’s a happy baby,” he said, removing his hand from his mouth. 

 Mercedes nodded slowly at Samuel’s response to her before she looked back down at Carter, his eyes followed her slowly but surely. Just looking at him now, her heart fluttered in her chest. She hated that Samuel had drug her to the doctor but now she was beginning to understand why, with the help of the antidepressants and therapy, she was starting to see the light and feel the sun on her skin. It was a feeling that she hadn’t felt since before Carter was born. She shifted Carter once more, holding him with one hand as she stroked his cheek softly. She lifted him gently, pressing a kiss to his tiny little nose and Carter gurgled at her sweetly, causing Mercedes to smile brightly and tears to rush to her eyes. She couldn’t believe she had spent weeks literally ignoring her baby. He was so precious and no she didn’t feel absolutely amazing every day but today was a good day.

 Dr. Acosta moved for the room as she studied the chart, going over the information faxed over from a colleague about Carter’s birth and other information. She side-stepped around a nurse as she flipped to the next page, moving quickly before she reached the room. She flipped the page again, her eyes scanning the information quickly before she dropped her hand to her side, holding the clipboard there as she knocked on the door. 

 Samuel watched Mercedes with Carter and he tilted his head, maybe the medicine actually helped a little. He had his doubts about all of it but maybe she would come out of this a lot better. He licked his lips slowly before he heard a knock at the door and he said, “come in”. 

 Carter’s little hand moved to Mercedes’ on his body and he gripped one of her fingers gently as she held him. Mercedes blinked slowly, pulling her tears back as she just took in their son. Upon hearing the knock on the door, Mercedes looked up slowly as Samuel said come in.

 Dr. Acosta entered the room with a bright smile, a bit shocked to see the two teenagers, but she kept her smile, nonetheless. “Hi,” she said perkily as she closed the door behind her, and she reached out her hand to Samuel. “Nice to meet you all, I am Dr. Acosta,” she greeted before she moved to Mercedes, holding her hand out as well before she looked down at Carter in Mercedes’ hands. “And this must be Carter,” she beamed as she looked down at the child before she moved to wash her hands thoroughly. As she did so she looked back at the couple, “It’s a pleasure to meet you all,” she told them. She snatched a napkin and patted her hands dry as she moved to sit down. “Tell me about this little cutie,” she said with them, looking between the two young parents. 

 Samuel watched the woman as she entered the room, and he looked her over. She seemed friendly. “Hello” he said quietly to the woman as she introduced herself “yes” he told her “I am Sam” he breathed before he pointed to Mercedes “and that is Mercedes” he spoke for them all. When she told them to tell her about Carter he shrugged lightly and said “he’s 1 month” he told her “was 8 pounds and 10 ounces when he was born” Samuel said nodding. “He’s changed a lot since then, you know… still sleeps all day and plays all night… eats like clockwork” he rambled unsure what to tell the woman.

 Mercedes gazed at the woman as she entered and introduced herself and she let Samuel speak for them, since she unfortunately wasn’t all that caught up with Carter and his developmental growth. However, she wanted to change that now. She had to change that. “Uh… he feeds off of breast milk,” she added in softly, “and uh… he wets a diaper maybe… 6 to 8 times a day…” she bit her lip hard. 

 Dr. Acosta smiled at the couple, taking more that Samuel was doing most of the talking but she said nothing as she nodded along attentively. Looking to Mercedes as she spoke, she smiled and good, “all good things, all good things.” Picking Carter’s chart back up, Dr. Acosta read over Mercedes and Samuel’s information briefly, not having done so before she entered the room and she took note of Mercedes’ PPD diagnosis, which explained why the girl was so quiet. Sitting the chart aside once more she smiled at the couple and said, “we’ll let’s go ahead and check him out then huh?” sweetly as she moved to grab a nursing pillow. She liked to use these to help children these young sit up a bit without any help. She sat it on the examination table beside Mercedes and she said, “may I?” as she carefully reached out her hands to take the child.

 Samuel looked at the woman nodding his head as the woman responded to them both. When she suggested starting the exam Samuel watched the woman as she reached for the child. The kid had to get a shot today which he wasn’t looking forward to, but he knew it was something that had to happen. 

 Mercedes nodded a bit, a small smile tugging at the corners of her mouth from how peppy Dr. Acosta was. As she reached out for Carter, Mercedes held the boy out, handing him over with a small bite of her lip as she did so. 

 Dr. Acosta took Carter with a small hum as she held him to her chest as she moved over to the nursing pillow. Gently she laid the boy down against it, sitting him up just enough to be able to complete her examination. She made sure that he was secure and supported before she said, “first I’m going to measure the circumference of his head.” She reached for her soft measuring tape holding it up for the parents to see before she gently wrapped it around Carter’s little head, measuring easily. “So, we’re looking at about 39cm, which is roughly 15 and a half inches,” she explained to the couple. “From the looks of Carter’s birth measurements, his little head is right on schedule as far as growth goes,” she told them with a smile.

As the woman sat the child up and began to examine Carter, he watched the little boy for only a second before he watched what the doctor was doing. She took his measurements and told them that he was developing properly in that area, he smiled and nodded his head. “Good,” Samuel said back to her gently happy about that news. 

 Mercedes shifted on the examination table, turning her body a bit to face Carter as Dr. Acosta began the examination measuring his head. At her words, she nodded slowly, licking her lips. One test down and so far, so good. She was very optimistic about this. 

 Sitting the measuring tape aside, Dr. Acosta said, “very good,” with a smile before she began to gently undress the child. “Now I’m just going to undress him so that I can look him over,” she explained as she carefully took off his little onesie. She laid it aside gently, looking at the parents every so often for approval. She looked over Carter’s little chest and she checked his umbilical site. “His umbilical site looks good, healing very well,” she explained as she examined it. “His belly button should revert inward within the next few weeks unless he’s going to keep his little outie,” she smiled softly as she gently poked his little stomach. “Next, I’m going to go ahead and listen to his heartbeat,” she told them as she reached for her stethoscope. 

 Samuel continued to watch the woman as she slid her hands into his pockets. Carter was perfect from head and toe so he knew there would be no worries in all of the things she was testing out today. Licking his lips, he nodded his head as she spoke on his belly button. 

 Mercedes gazed at Carter as he laid there, letting the woman examine him without much hassle. He was such a good and tamed baby, only really crying if he needed a change or was hungry. He got fussy every now and again but not often. As the woman began to explain certain things to them, she nodded slowly, trying to remain attentive and focused. 

 Dr. Acosta looked at the couple as they sat quietly, and she smiled gently. Kids, she thought to herself with a small smirk. She moved her stethoscope from around her neck and placed the buds in her ears before she began to rub the diaphragm against her hand, trying to warm it up a bit. With that done, she gently placed it against Carter’s chest, watching his little face as it twitched from the cool feeling of it. “I know, I’m sorry,” she said gently to the baby as he began to wiggle some. She listened to his heartbeat anyhow with a nod. “Heartbeat sounds great,” she told the couple before she removed the diaphragm from Carter’s chest and placed her hand over him gently to warm him up. She kept it there for a moment before she moved it and began to feel for his various pulses with a hum of approval. “So far, Carter is checking out A-okay but we do have a bit more to do,” she told them softly. “Do you have any questions so far?” she asked them.

 Samuel looked at Carter as he kicked his little feet as the woman checked him over thoroughly, he smirked at him before he looked at the woman. “Uh” he said to her before he shook his head “no” he said quietly. Should they have questions? 

 Mercedes watched closely as Dr. Acosta looked over Carter, checking him out from head to toe. She shifted slightly, crossing her ankles as she began to rub her hands up and down her jeans idly, her palms a little sweaty from her nerves. At the question, Mercedes shook her head a little. 

 Dr. Acosta nodded at the two, no questions was usual when it came to teenagers. They typically just wanted whatever information she was willing to give, no more, no less. Looking back at Carter, she began to lift his little legs, checking his range of motion and his hip flexors. “Carter was circumcised right?” she asked the couple with a hum as she looked the child over. She leaned over some, reviewing his chart once more. 

 At the question, Mercedes glanced at Samuel before she nodded. “Y-yeah he was circumcised,” she said softly, her hands still rubbing over her jeans. She was beginning to feel a bit restless. 

 Samuel looked at the woman and then at Mercedes as she answered, he looked at the doctor. Clearly, she was going to have to check on the healing process of that as well, poor little buddy. He remembered how much he used to cry over that area of his body. 

 At the answer, Dr. Acosta nodded slowly. “Okay, so I’m going to have to check his healing for that as well,” she explained to the two teenagers as she stood up and grabbed a fresh diaper from a cabinet before she placed some gloves over her hands. Standing over the child once more, she shifted him a bit as she began to take off his diaper. Seeing that he was actually wet, she quickly grabbed a few wipes and gently cleaned him up and got him prepped and situated with a new diaper. Before she closed up the fresh diaper however, she took the time to check his circumcision site. Nodding at the couple she told them, “It’s healing very well, just keep making sure you’re mindful for the next couple of weeks,” before she fastened his fresh diaper around his little hips, taking her gloves off as well. “I see on the chart that he’s already had his hearing and eye examination, so we don’t have to do that today,” she said thoughtfully. “So now I just want to do a few developmental tests,” she told them as she moved to re-dress the child. “I can already see that he’s very alert and he follows faces with his eyes very well,” she chuckled, “he’s been eyeing me this entire time,” she smiled softly.  

 Mercedes let her mind wander a bit as Dr. Acosta went on with the examination, finding it hard to completely focus though she was trying very hard. In that aspect, she was still working on it. The antidepressants were still working through her body and slowly taking affect so sometimes she still wasn’t all there. At the mention of keeping an eye on Carter’s circumcision site, she nodded a bit before she hummed softly at the woman as she placed Carter’s onesies back onto him. She nodded slowly, biting her lip softly.

 Samuel watched as the woman prepared to check their son’s private area for its healing process and he licked his lips gently. The woman also changed his diaper fully and checked him out; he continued to watch them both easily. “Good, he didn’t like that pain at first” he said easily to the woman with a smirk. “Yeah” he said nodding his head “he loves to stare at you and watch what you do” he said knowing that firsthand. 

 Looking between Mercedes and Samuel, Dr. Acosta smiled, and she said, “that’s common but you two have done a very good job and he shouldn’t really have any more problems in that area as it’s basically fully healed. Just stay gentle for the next couple of weeks, remember to wash gently with lukewarm water and if you feel necessary use a little ointment before placing his diaper on,” she said sweetly. “Yes, he’s very attentive which is good,” she said before she grew quiet, stepping away from the table and the child, knowing that he was indeed secure with the nursing pillow and Mercedes was sitting right there as an extra precaution. She moved over into the corner of the room and began to gently clap her hands watching Carter closely as he moved his head around, trying to look towards the sound the best he could from his position. “Good,” she hummed out before moving back to him. “I can see that he has a very good range of motion with his legs and arms,” she said before she lifted him up some and removed the nursing pillow. “Now is the time that you two should begin really setting out at least 20 minutes to an hour for tummy time with Carter,” she smiled as she turned him into his stomach on the table. Carter was able to lift his head on his own a little and look around which was perfect. “Carter is really checking out wonderfully,” she told the young couple. “Also, I would suggest if you aren't doing so already, to strap Carter on and just carry him around the house as you complete various tasks so that he can start to learn the home and flex his little brain by seeing new things,” she told them. 

 Mercedes shifted on the table, tucking her hair behind her ear as she did, and she let out a small hum as he nodded along. She watched Carter as Dr. Acosta began to wrap up the examination and she said looking to Samuel, “we have a few carriers and wraps at home… right?” 

 Samuel watched the doctor as she spoke, and he nodded his head at the woman knowing that much from stuff he googled and read. “Okay” he told her simply before he licked his lips and watched as she walked away from the boy and to test him further and he passed. Damn, their kid was a genius. As she began to tell them both what they could now be doing with him since he was a little older now. And he nodded his head again “okay” he told her gently, at Mercedes' question and he nodded “yeah I think someone bought some of those” he told her gently. 

 Smiling at the couple, Dr. Acosta asked, “still no questions?” as she tossed Carter’s dirty diaper and her used gloves away, placing the diaper in a designated bin before throwing her gloves in the medical waste recycle bin. “Last but not least, Carter is due for one shot today,” she said knowingly. “I’ll send the nurse on in for that,” she smiled at them. 

 “No, I don’t have any,” Samuel said to the doctor and she began to explain that their son needed to get a single shot today and he nodded. “Okay” he said to her as he moved to stand up and he moved over to Carter picking the boy up and rubbing his back gently. 

 Mercedes shook her head. “No, no questions,” she said softly as she watched Samuel pick Carter up. She placed her hands between her thighs and let out a soft hum as she sat there.

 Dr. Acosta smiled at the couple and said, “alright, well you three enjoy the rest of your day and I’ll send in Akeela,” she smiled as she pushed some hand sanitizer into her hands and moved to exit the room. 

 Samuel nodded his head as he gummed their son’s cheek with his lips, he nodded and watched the woman leave “thanks” he said to her. He looked at Mercedes and then kissed Carter’s cheek gently. He looked at him before he handed the baby over to her, it was the only way to keep her actively engaging with him. “Here” he told her “hold him” he said easily. He didn’t push her hard as her mother did, but she needed to interact with him more. 

 “Thank you,” Mercedes said to Dr. Acosta quietly before she looked to Samuel and Carter, a small smile twitching her lips before she looked away. When Samuel offered Carter to her, she took the child easily, holding him in her arms gently. She looked down at him, smiling at him softly, before she pressed a kiss to his forehead as he cooed. “Uh… I’ll start wearing him around the apartment throughout the day,” she told Samuel softly. She really was trying. 

 “Do you feel comfortable doing that?” Samuel asked her honestly, it made no sense to him if she did it only to give the child the cold shoulder because she felt she had to. He stroked his head of hair gently as she held him in her arms. 

 Looking at Samuel, Mercedes bit her lip hard as she blinked slowly. “I can do it…” she said softly, hugging Carter close to her chest a bit. She had been trying to make a conscious effort to do more and be more involved but Samuel’s doubt in her didn’t help with her confidence. “I want to do it…” she changed her phrasing as she looked down at Carter as he mushed his face in her chest a bit. He was hungry. She still hadn’t been breast feeding him but maybe she could on their way home or before they left the hospital. 

 Akeela knocked on the door, holding what she needed in her hand to administer Carter’s shot. 

 Samuel nodded his head at her and said “okay” he was just checking. His biggest fear lately had been her doing something to their son, he would never live with himself if she did. Ever since her appointment that was all he could think about. He didn’t think she really would, but he didn’t like what if’s either. “Come in,” he said, hearing another knock on the door. 

 Mercedes nodded at Samuel gently before she pressed another kiss to Carter’s forehead. She loved him so much that she couldn’t stand it but she still struggled with properly expressing it. She had been so confident and sure of herself but now, she felt less than. She just needed Samuel to have a little faith in her. She was going to get better; she was. Looking at the door, Mercedes watched as the woman entered.

 Entering the room, Akeela smiled at the couple. “Hi,” she said softly as she closed the door behind her. “I’m here to administer Carter’s second HepB shot and then you guys are free to go,” she said sweetly as she sat everything down on the counter before she washed her hands. With that done, she popped one some gloves and pulled out the sterile tray as she began to prep the vaccine. “Can you unzip his onesie for me and pull out his right arm?” she asked Mercedes as she continued. 

 Samuel watched her and he then looked up at the woman as she walked into the room. “Okay” he said to her easily as she began to prepare for what it was, she was about to do. At the woman’s request he looked at Mercedes expectantly waiting for her to fulfill her request. He hoped Carter didn’t cry, he really wouldn’t like that too much. 

 Mercedes watched the woman as she entered and she said, “hi,” back to the woman as she gently bounced Carter in her arms. At the woman’s request, Mercedes nodded as she shifted with Carter. She rested him against the table and unzipped his onesie easily, pulling his little arm out as she was asked to before she picked him back up, holding him to her chest as she sat up straight. She held him facing her and rubbed his back gently so that the woman might have an easier time giving him the shot.

 Akeela watched as Mercedes did as she asked too when Carter was ready, she ripped open an alcohol wipe and moved to clean the area before she uncapped the syringe. She looked at Mercedes, making sure she had Carter steadily before she quickly pricked the boy with the needle and pushed the flange down. Just like that she was done. Pulling the needle from his skin, she watched him closely as she cleaned the area once more before she placed a band aid there. Not a single tear. 

 Samuel watched Mercedes as she unzipped the boy’s little outfit and pulled his arm out of it easily. She held him as the woman moved in for his boy, she rubbed the area and then pricked him. Samuel watched closely and he licked his lips slowly the boy didn’t cry “big boy” Samuel sang out happily. The woman gave the child a band-aid and Samuel pecked the boy gently. “Such a big boy” he cooed towards him lightly, if it were not for Mercedes' situation it was no telling if you’d ever catch him doing this a day in his life. But the little born warmed his usual cold heart. 

 Mercedes watched Carter closely as the woman pricked him, and he just stared up at her gurgling softly. He was like he didn’t even feel it. She smiled at him before looking up at Samuel as he began cooing and talking to Carter. She smirked softly, a small chuckle escaping her. She never thought that she would see the day. “Mama baby,” she cooed softly, rubbing Carter’s back and when Akeela was finished she shifted him around, fixing his onesie around his body before she looked at the woman. “Can we stay for a bit so that I can feed Carter?” she asked softly.

 Akeela began to clean up everything and she looked at Mercedes saying, “of course,” as she tossed the syringe into its container before she tossed her trash away. “Stay as long as you need,” she told the couple easily. “Just let me know when you’re on your way out,” she smiled before she exited the room. 

 At Mercedes' question Samuel looked a bit confused, he drank from a bottle they could feed him on their way back home, easy. She’d just have to ride in the back of the car with him. As he exited the room he said “the bottle would have to be warmed, but I have those warming things in there. We don’t have to stay here” easily. 

 Mercedes nodded at the woman with a small smile as she told them it was okay and excited. Looking at Samuel, Mercedes shook her head slightly as she shifted Carter in her arms, and she began to adjust her clothing. “I want to feed him…” she said softly as she adjusted her bra, pulling the cup. She lifted Carter a little and almost immediately he turned his head and latched on. She smiled down at him before she began to pat his back gently, avoiding Samuel’s eyes as she sat there.

 Samuel looked at Mercedes and he nodded his head “okay” he said to her as he moved to sit down in a chair again. Progress he thought, seeing her breast feed him was almost awkward for him. So, he looked elsewhere while she did it. 

 Mercedes kept her gaze elsewhere as Carter suckled from her and she said quietly, “I’m really trying.” She looked at Carter as he rested there in her arms with his eyes closed as he drank from her. “I’m sorry…” she whispered to Carter and to Samuel.

 Samuel looked down at his feet for a while and he looked back up at her words. “I know you are,” he told her quietly. “I didn’t say you weren’t” he breathed softly. 

 Biting her lip softly, Mercedes shifted a bit, her hand patting Carter’s back very gently. She didn’t know what to say to him. She just wished he was a bit more encouraging of her. She knew that just wasn’t who he was but damn. Licking her lips, she shifted Carter slightly, lifting him over her shoulder to burp him a bit, making sure that he got one out before she let him reattach. 

 Samuel looked at her again before he looked back down due to her silence. He couldn’t help that the phases she’d gone through had left an impression on him. It was hard to know what to think of her moment to moment day to day. However, he did have faith in her, and he saw the subtle changes whether he spoke of them or not. You didn’t see someone congratulating a monkey for eating a banana though. 

After a while, Carter had finished feeding and Mercedes placed him over her shoulder again, rubbing and patting his back gently to burp him. She got two big burps out of him before she smiled, and she shifted him around as she moved to slide off the table. She placed him in his carrier and strapped him in, making sure he was secure before she grabbed her things. She placed the thin blanket over Carter’s carrier before she picked him up and moved to exit the room. In the end, at least Carter checked out with a A on all fronts.

[sammie-e]

Take A Moment To Breathe

INVOLVED: Mercedes Jones and Samuel Evans TIME FRAME: LOCATION: Doctor Office; Atlanta, Georgia SUMMARY: Samuel takes Mercedes to an appointment with her doctor to get to the bottom of things.

Mercedes sat in the office with Samuel, her hands clenched together in her lap and shoved between her thighs as she sat there, slightly rocking back and forth. She had no idea what Samuel had drug her to the doctor. She was fine. She just needed to get more sleep. That was all. Her mother had really hit a nerve within her, and she had been on edge ever since. There was just so much going on. She was a new mother and she was young at that, the life that she once knew was gone. Her freedom and her confidence were gone. She just didn’t know how to process her feelings anymore.

 Samuel sat in the doctor’s office waiting to start the examination, he didn’t really know what he was doing. He was just here per her mother’s request though he himself honestly didn’t know what any of this stuff meant. Getting her to come had been a task but he had done so successfully, Carter was being watched by trusted eyes so that was one less bother in all of this. He looked over at her for a moment before he turned his head and folded his arms over his chest gently. 

 Mercedes looked at Samuel out the corner of her eye as she rested there, just rocking her body slightly. Her hands were gripped together so tightly between her legs that she was beginning to lose circulation in her fingers. Sighing out deeply, she looked over at him fully. “Sam…” she breathed out. “I’m fine,” she told him quietly, feeling extremely uncomfortable with being there. 

 Samuel continued to sit in the chair quietly, shifting in the seat hearing her call his name. He looked at her and shook his head “but you aren’t” he broke to her “it’s nothing fine about anything you’ve shown me lately” he said quietly. 

 Tucking her lips in at his words, Mercedes let out a deep sad sigh. Her body stopped rocking and she pulled her hands from her lap to fold her arms over her chest as she pouted a bit. Tears had sprung to her eyes, but she refused to let them fall as she stared at a poster on the wall.

 Dr. David knocked on the door gently, waiting patiently for a response. 

 Samuel looked at her, he raised a brow before he looked away. This was hard for him too, not just her; she'd see that one day. He heard a knock and he said “come in” to the doctor. 

 As someone knocked on the door, Mercedes looked towards him slowly, blinking hard to clear the tears from her eyes. She shifted slightly, arms still folded over her chest as she began to kick her feet back and forth idly. 

 Dr. David heard Samuel’s voice letting him know it was okay to enter and he took the opportunity, moving into the room slowly. “Hello,” he said as he looked at the couple knowingly. Erica had called him a few days before the couple booked their appointment, he knew exactly why they were here, and it was quite unfortunate. “How are we doing today?” he asked as he sat his clipboard with the questionnaire that he would need Mercedes to fill out, off to the side as he moved to wash his hands thoroughly.

 Samuel watched the man enter and he gave him a fake grin “hi” he said to the man easily. Samuel looked to the Mercedes at the man’s question, waiting for her to answer. 

 Mercedes gazed at Dr. David as he entered and Mercedes let out a small hum at his question, her shoulders slumping a bit. “I’m fine,” she said as per usual. “Just a little tired, feeling burnt out,” she told the doctor truthfully. “Really not sure why Sam brought me here though… being tired is normal after having a baby, right?” she questioned. That day with her mother, she understood there was something wrong with her, but it was hard to wrap her brain around, even now. 

 Dr. David listened to the couple at their responses and he nodded slowly, listening intently to Mercedes as he dried his hands before he sat down in his chair and wheeled over to the teenager. “Yes, feeling a bit overwhelmed or tired is normal,” he said before he glanced at Samuel. He looked back at Mercedes before he asked her, “and how is Carter doing?” 

 Samuel looked at Mercedes as she spoke, giving the man the same answer, she gave everyone all the time. No one in the world was that tired, if there should be anyone it should be him. School, two jobs, one of which was very tedious the other very demanding, and a newborn son that he solely took care of because his mother was indeed unwell. At her statement he looked away from her and to her doctor, the two swapped glances before he asked his next question. 

 Mercedes stared at Dr. David a bit blankly as she nodded slowly. At his question about Carter, she opened her mouth to speak but nothing came out. How was Carter doing? As she racked her brain, she began to realize that she had no idea. She opened and closed her mouth a few times before looking over at Samuel. “Uh…” she said softly. “He-uh- he’s okay…” 

 Dr. David nodded slowly at Mercedes, looking at the teenage girl expectantly. When she couldn’t find the words to answer his question, he looked at Samuel, a small frown on his face until Mercedes finally came up with an answer that didn’t really give him much to go on. All it did was let him know that Mercedes really didn’t know how Carter was doing which was indeed a red flag. “That is good,” he told her calmly before he reached for his clipboard. “Well, Mercedes,” he began looking down at the board in his hands, “I want you to go ahead and fill out this questionnaire for me,” he told her softly. “Pretty standard and straight-forward and we like to have most mother’s fill it out a few weeks after giving birth,” he explained, looking at Samuel once more as he handed the clipboard over to Mercedes, along with a pen.

 Samuel looked down toying with his fingernails, she wouldn’t know the answer to that question, but he said nothing. It would not have served as helpful to anyone if he spoke up and answered. He let that be. As the man went on to explain what he wanted from the girl next he looked at the clipboard for a moment before he looked back up at the man. Samuel looked back at the man before he looked back at her and he said without even leaving her to think she had a choice “fill it out” quietly, his hands resting on his thighs now. 

 Mercedes listened to Dr. David as best she could, her focus really all over the place. She just wanted to get out of there. As he handed her the clipboard, she looked down at the questionnaire on it and before she looked back at the doctor with an arched eyebrow. However, at Samuel’s command, she let out a small huff and took the pen as she began to read over the information and the questions. Looking it over, her face scrunched before she looked back over at Samuel with wide eyes. The last question really struck her. That day she sat in the shower. It was so hot she had almost cut off her oxygen and her skin felt like it was on fire for days after. Biting her lip hard, she looked back down at the paper as she reluctantly began to fill it out one question at a time. 

 Samuel looked at her as she grabbed the pen, he watched her expressions and the arrangement of emotions as they danced across her face and he licked his lips. She needed to get this done and they needed to get to the bottom of it all right here, right now. As she began to fill it out, he rested back in the chair and ran his hands through his long hair. 

 Dr. David sat there, watching Mercedes and Samuel closely as Mercedes pondered the questionnaire. He saw it quite often, women unsure of if they should take it or how they should answer. However, no one could take it for Mercedes. She had to answer the questions with absolutely no influence from them. So, he just sat quietly as Mercedes finally began to fill it out. Looking at Samuel, Dr. David rested his hands on his knees as he waited patiently. 

 Samuel shifted in his seat as he sat before the doctor, he looked at the man and then at Mercedes again as she slowly but surely filled the form out. He licked his lips wondering what she was putting down as they waited. 

 Mercedes finished filling out the questionnaire and she slowly handed the clipboard and pen back to Dr. David, her bottom lip between her teeth as she bit down hard. Looking over at Samuel, she gazed at the side of his face before she looked down, her hands in her lap once more, tucked between her thighs as she began rocking once more. 

 Dr. David took the clipboard from Mercedes and looked over her responses quickly. It only took him a few minutes to score the questionnaire. He had done this so many times for so long that it just came easily to him now and Mercedes results were very unsettling. Out of a maximum score of 30, Mercedes had scored a 25. That wasn’t good, not even a little bit. With a hum, he sat the clipboard aside and asked her. “Mercedes when you feel sad, it is a normal sadness or is it an overwhelming feeling that you just can’t explain?” he asked patiently. 

 Samuel watched Mercedes as she handed the clipboard back over to the man, he watched him. Studying his face as he looked it over. As he spoke asking Mercedes another question Samuel looked at her waiting to hear what she had to say in response to it. 

 At the question, Mercedes shrugged her shoulders slightly, biting chewing on her lip nervously. “I-I don’t know,” she mumbled softly. “Sometimes I just get sad for no real reason that I can explain…” she said softly, shrugging again. “I just… I want to cry and ball up…” she whispered. “I’ll just feel useless and unnecessary,” she told him softly, avoiding Samuel’s eyes. 

 Samuel listened to her as she spoke, and he licked his lips very slowly as he tucked his lips in looking at her doctor. He felt bad, there was nothing he could do, and he was trusting the man to fix her, to help her, to do what he cannot. 

 Dr. David nodded slowly taking in Mercedes’ words and he leaned in slightly asking. “And in your thoughts of harming yourself, have you ever truly tried to hurt yourself or Carter?” he asked her gently. 

 Mercedes looked away from the both now, staring down at the floor from the question. “I would never hurt Carter,” she whispered gently before she moved her hands from her lap and began to rub her arm softly. “I… I haven’t purposefully tried to hurt myself,” she explained gently. 

 Samuel looked over at Mercedes at the next set of questions, he wanted to know the answer to both of those questions as well. When she answered he looked back at her doctor, were they to believe her or not? He didn’t know. 

 With a hum, Dr. David asked. “What did you do to yourself Mercedes?” he asked her, needing to know the severity of it to properly diagnose Mercedes.

 “I uh…” Mercedes shrugged. “I fell asleep in the shower and the water was so hot…” she explained quietly. “Uh, I was cutting off my air supply,” she told the doctor truthfully, blinking slowly as she stared at the floor. “I uh… I burned my skin with the water…” she added. “It was an accident…” she bit her lip. “I… I didn’t mean to fall asleep…” 

 Samuel looked away from the doctor and then to Mercedes, he tilted her head confused. When did this happen? And, where was he? Did this mean Mercedes was worse than everybody thought? 

 Listening to Mercedes, Dr. David nodded slowly, and he sat back before he said very calmly, “Mercedes, I do believe that you have postpartum depression,” he paused for a moment, looking at Samuel with a sad expression. “It’s an occurrence that happens in many women after giving birth,” he told her softly. “Studies have yet to really explain why this occurs, but we do believe that it has a lot to do with the surplus and loss of hormones that takes place after birth,” he said with a hum. “When you’re pregnant your body produces all of these new hormones to help the baby and the production and progression of the pregnancy and they build up over time but after you give birth your body loses the hormones very quickly and that loss is very dramatic,” he admitted. “In your case it looks as if the loss of hormones, plus the new baby, and other stresses might have caused PPD for you,” he told her truthfully. “Also, I do believe that it runs in your family,” he said knowingly from having spoken to Erica. “However, do not worry PPD is treatable and we can manage it,” he said, “some women never fully recover but many do,” he said with a hum.

 Mercedes sat back slowly, listening to Dr. David as he explained what he believed was wrong with her and she nodded slowly. She had read about PPD while pregnant, but it never occurred to her as something that she could actually have. Looking over at Samuel, tears began to fill her eyes and she shifted in her seat very uncomfortably unsure of what to say. 

 Samuel watched the man as he began to explain to both him and Mercedes what exactly is wrong with her. Samuel nodded his head taking it all in, he guessed his mother-in-law knew what she was talking about essentially. As he went on to give more details about the situation he nodded again, he didn’t like the idea of her never getting over it, but he’d be by her side. That he promised fully. “So, what next?” he asked the doctor finally, knowing something was wrong with her in the first place. 

 Dr. David looked at the two of them and as Samuel asked what was next, he sighed. “Well, in Mercedes' case I would suggest an antidepressant,” he said truthfully, “and therapy to help cope with the changes,” he told them with a nod. “Mercedes are you still breast feeding?” he asked her.

 Mercedes wiped under her eyes; she felt so overwhelmed by the revelation, but she also kept some relief because it was treatable. She didn’t have to feel this way forever. At the question, Mercedes said softly, “I’ve been pumping, and he drinks my milk from a bottle...”

 Taking in the answer, Dr. David nodded, and he said, “in that case I will prescribe you Sertraline. It’s an antidepressant that you can take, and it won’t have much effect on Carter as he drinks your milk,” he said to the couple. “Sertraline will help regulate your serotonin which will in turn help with your overall mood and depression,” he explained, “and like I said, I would like for you to get set up with a therapist and start seeing them at least once a week,” he suggested. “We’ll do this for a few months and then check in and see what we need to do from there,” he said thoughtfully. 

 Samuel nodded his head at the man, a pill great something she could take every day to help insure she overcomes this thing. He watched as she explained their son’s feeding arrangements before he looked back at the doctor. It was good to know that their son could not be affected by the medication in the long run. She would need therapy and to take a pill every day, okay, easy. It wasn’t anything too crazy and he didn’t feel helpless anymore now. 

 Mercedes listened to Dr. David and his suggestions and she nodded slowly, wiping more tears from under her eyes. There was light at the end of the tunnel. She was hopeful. Nodding slightly, she said, “uhm…” before she bit her lip hard. “What are the side effects of the antidepressant?” 

 Dr. David looked at the couple with soft eyes before he shifted in his chair a bit. “The side effects of Sertraline vary,” he began, “you may experience some drowsiness or tiredness, maybe a bit of nausea at first, a possible loss of appetite, a decrease in sex drive, possible sweating… dry mouth,” he told Mercedes easily. 

 Samuel looked at Mercedes and then he looked at the older man as he listed all the various side effects to the medicine. None to him were worse than what she was exhibiting right now. 

A decreased in sex drive stuck out to Mercedes the most. She looked over at Samuel and she shifted in her seat a bit. He wasn’t a very patient man and six weeks was already a long time to wait for him. Biting her lip hard she nodded as she said, “okay,” looking to the doctor.

[sammie-e]

→ Instagram: @rawsam02 uploaded a new photo:

Mood after partying like rock stars all day with Cedes and Carter. Thanks for all the b-day wishes.

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[teacupcedes]

The New Normal

[sammie-e]

INVOLVED: Samuel Evans, Mercedes Jones, and Carter Evans TIME FRAME: Saturday, March 21, 2020 LOCATION: Jones-Evans Apartment; Atlanta, Georgia SUMMARY: Samuel comes home after a run out with Dallas. Mercedes feeds Carter for only the second time that day and cooks Samuel an early dinner. 

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[teacupcedes]

Phases

[sammie-e]

INVOLVED: Mercedes Jones, Samuel Evans, and Carter Evans TIME FRAME: Sunday, March 22, 2020 LOCATION: Jones-Evans Apartment; Atlanta, Georgia SUMMARY: Mercedes comes home from a little grocery shopping, having left Carter with Samuel for an hour or so. Samuel gave Mercedes money to deposit into their account and a spat arose between the two.

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[teacupcedes]

Baby Blues

[sammie-e]

INVOLVED: Mercedes Jones, Samuel Evans, and Carter Evans TIME FRAME: Monday, March 30, 2020 LOCATION: Jones-Evans Apartment; Atlanta, Georgia SUMMARY: Mercedes just isn’t feeling like herself. She’s down and out for no real reason and Samuel doesn’t know what is wrong with her.

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[teacupcedes]

A Mother’s Help

[sammie-e]

INVOLVED: Mercedes Jones, Samuel Evans, Erica Jones, and Carter Evans TIME FRAME: Friday Afternoon, April 10, 2020 LOCATION: Jones-Evans Apartment; Atlanta, Georgia SUMMARY: After not hearing from Mercedes in a few days, which is unusual, Erica drops by to visit the couple and their new baby.

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[teacupcedes]

Sam...

[sammie-e]

teacupcedes‌:

Thank you.

Welcome.

[sammie-e]

+ Samuel’s Birthday gift to Mercedes, which included two Books and a Necklace with all three of their initials on it.

[sammie-e]

→ Instagram: @rawsam02 uploaded a new photo:

Happy Birthday Mercedes. I have been by your side for the last 2 years and you’ve given me the curtsy of calling you my girlfriend the entire time. I upgraded your status recently, I gave you a ring with the hope of making you my wife one day. You devoted yourself to me unconditionally for the last two years and I am really grateful for that. I don’t deserve you, I never have. And yet you still carried my son and birthed him into my arms without a single complaint. Watching you the last 10 months has been a huge wake up call for me. At such a young age I wouldn’t have wanted that kind of fear to be placed on you, but you never had a worry, even when I ran the streets to hide mine. You are such a beautiful soul. You are smart, talented, and caring without effort. Beyond that you are an amazing mother and an amazing woman, any man would be privileged to have you. I am sorry, that this Birthday is spent in the gloom of something neither of us can control. I wish I could put a genuine smile on your face. Over even get you to fill the house with your beautiful melodies. I know “lately you don't feel great” but baby we will take it day to day until we truly get it straight. Carter and I are here whenever you need us, we will never leave you, as much as you need us. We need you more. I chose this video because while recording it, I always hoped that same passion you had you’d keep for everything, especially me. Right now your flame has been dimmed, but I know with faith it’ll shine bright again. I love you, I can’t say that enough. To 17. To more years. To more smiles. To more love. To us. To Carter. To you. I hope this is your version of “chicken soup and a song”.

Sam

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[sammie-e]

→ Instagram: @rawsam02 uploaded a new photo:

happy 1 month kiddo

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[sammie-e]

→ Instagram: @rawsam02 uploaded a new photo:

guess who has big feet like his dad 😏 

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[teacupcedes]

He’s so precious

[sammie-e]

teacupcedes‌:

I wouldn’t have been able to do it without you baby. You are my strength. 

Okay... I am your strength