serendipity @sampahnyaferina - Tumblr Blog

she was once just a name in my notes app 🥲

Last night, my daughter and I had a fight. It was past her bedtime, and she was still glued to her phone. When I called my husband to take it away, she erupted into tears, yelling in protest.

I stayed silent and tried to sleep, feeling the weight of the moment. But then, she quietly snuggled into my arms. Through her sobs, she whispered a promise: "I will study tomorrow—no phone, no YouTube Kids (which I know is impossible, 😅). I will learn to read and write so I can be smart. I will grow up and work hard to earn money."

I opened my eyes and asked her, "Why do you say that?"

Crying, with her eyes still closed, she answered, "Because I have to work. Because you always work so hard until you're very tired. I want to work so I can help you."

I work my ass off every single day, but I never realized how deeply she internalizes it. She is trying so hard to understand my struggles, while I, in my selfish frustration, failed to understand hers. My heart broke.

I held her tight, covering her with kisses and apologies—for not being able to care for her the way I want to, for our home assistant being the one to accompany her to school, for making it seem like work is the only thing that matters in this temporary world.

I realize this might sound like a naive reason, but it is my first time being a mother, too. I am still trying to figure out how to balance it all—my life, my husband, my child, my own health, and my career. I desperately want to reach my own dreams while keeping everything in balance, but in the struggle, I fear it might seem like I am pushing you away.

I am truly, truly sorry.

thatonekimgirl

Belly crashing out.

lustforlifeee777

TSITP S3 EP7

my heart absolutely broke for both conrad and belly…

as harsh as she was, i understand her reaction. imagine planning a whole wedding with who you think is the love of your life and like 2 days before the reception realizing you made the wrong choice and you’re still in love with your ex.

she’s obviously in denial and also scared of hurting jeremiah, disappointing her family&friends but most of all rethinking every choice she’s made for the past 4 years.

also yes i know we were all pissed at her when she said that conrad hurt her more than jeremiah. but you have to remember why she feels that way and it’s not because what conrad did was worse but because she loves and cares for him so much more. jeremiah doesn’t have that power to hurt her. so yes conrad hurt her more for less than what jeremiah did in her mind.

anyways her dropping to her knees after saying all those things absolutely broke me. i could never hate her. can’t wait for them to be happy together 😭

inefekt69

Dotonbori - Osaka, Japan

teammarkhelly

3.05 belly and conrad; the summer i turned pretty

sebandmia

conrad being the reason why laurel and belly make amends speaks for itself. all he wants is for her to be happy, even if that means losing her to someone else. the way that he prioritizes her happiness over his own is like breathing to him - it’s actually so crazy

"While scrolling through Instagram, I came across a post that said, 'Sometimes, it’s better not knowing.'

It reminded me of how I used to obsess over someone’s posts—questioning myself, wondering if their words were about me, doubting my own choices. Each time, it sent me spiraling into overthinking. I don’t disagree with what she said, but I’m exhausted by the insecurity it stirs in me.

I refuse to let random things I see online ruin my peace. So, for my own well-being, I hid her posts and deleted her contact. Not out of hatred, but out of self-love. I’m guarding my mind from thoughts that don’t serve me.

And I truly believe—that’s the kindest thing I could do for myself.

I won’t lie—I miss the old me.

The one who woke up early just to walk, excited to hit her daily step goal. The one who cherished solitude, loved life as it was, yet thrived on challenges and couldn’t wait to try something new.

But now? I overthink—way too much.

I’m terrified of the future.

I’m scared of being vulnerable.

I’m afraid I’ll never be enough.

Still, I try. Every single day, I try to be that person again. Although life always has its own way of surprising us.

Today, I walk a little slower.

I learn a little less.

But I also remind myself, a little more:

I will be okay. Everything will be okay.

And maybe, if Allah wills it, someday I’ll return—stronger than before.

I miss who I used to be, and I won’t ever stop fighting to bring her back.

Dear my precious little bunny,

I understand that everything might feel overwhelming right now. School may seem dull or exhausting, and it might seem like the world is asking too much of you. But trust me, your efforts will be worth it in the end.

Everyone faces their own challenges—what matters is that you stay true to yourself and keep moving forward (and please, please listen to your teacher! 😭).

No matter what, I love you now and always.

—Mama