the human torch

@samtasticfour

IT'S CLOBBERIN' TIME! sam evans. twenty-six. seattle. so, i'm the dude behind the wees and just put out firsts with oni press. any other projects are TOP SECRET STUFF right now, but you should totally be excited. i live with my awesome boyfriend and our two dogs in the best little red townhouse on the block. there's nobody in the galaxy luckier than me. fact.

3,043 posts

TXT MSG ✉ SAM ⇄ BLAINE

BLAINE: I LOVE your face SO much is more like it!!!!!

SAM: then I guess it's a good thing I LOVE YOU.

TXT MSG ✉ SAM ⇄ BLAINE

BLAINE: I WAS IN A HURRY AND YOU WERE SO CUTE SLEEPING!!!!! DIDN'T YOU SEE MY INSTAGRAM OF YOU????

SAM: 🙈

SAM: oh my gosh

SAM: you like my face too much

TXT MSG ✉ SAM ⇄ BLAINE

BLAINE: AND WHAT, PRAY TELL, ARE THESE OTHER THINGS?

SAM: HOW YOU DID THE UNTHINKABLE AND SHOWERED WITHOUT ME THIS MORNING!!!!

TXT MSG ✉ SAM ⇄ BLAINE

BLAINE: YOU'RE THE ONE THAT STARTED TALKING ABOUT FOOD.

SAM: FINE.

SAM: I CAN TALK ABOUT OTHER THINGS.

TXT MSG ✉ SAM ⇄ BLAINE

BLAINE: PICKING MULTIPLE FLAVORS FOR MULTIPLE LAYERS WAS THE ONLY APPROPRIATE WAY TO SOLVE THE PROBLEM!

SAM: YOU'RE A GENIUS FOR FIGURING THAT OUT

SAM: AND NOW I AM SUPER HUNGRY

TXT MSG ✉ SAM ⇄ BLAINE

BLAINE: HAS ANYTHING I'VE EVER DONE NOT INVOLVED DESSERT?

SAM: AT LEAST WE SETTLED THE GREAT CAKE DEBATE A LONG TIME AGO OR WEDDING PLANNING COULDA BEEN CRAZY.

TXT MSG ✉ SAM ⇄ BLAINE

BLAINE: I'VE GOT DINNER COVERED, REST EASY.

SAM: DOES THIS INCLUDE DESSERT?!

TXT MSG ✉ SAM ⇄ BLAINE

BLAINE: I LOVE THE PLAN! THE BEST PLAN EVER!!!!

SAM: I DO NOT HAVE PLANS FOR DINNER BECAUSE I'M A BAD HOUSEBAND, SORRY

TXT MSG ✉ SAM ⇄ BLAINE

BLAINE: BUT IT ALL WORKED OUT THE WAY IT WAS SUPPOSED TO IN THE END!!!!!!

SAM: CURRENT PLAN IN CASE YOU NEED A RECAP

SAM: BOOM! MARRIED, BLUE HOUSE, BABIES

TXT MSG ✉ SAM ⇄ BLAINE

BLAINE: I'M AWARE!!!!

BLAINE: AND PROUD OF MYSELF FOR IT.

BLAINE: BUT DEFINITELY AWARE!

SAM: I DONT KNOW HOW YOU DID IT

SAM: OBVIOUSLY I SUCKED AT HANDLING LIKING YOU

TXT MSG ✉ SAM ⇄ BLAINE

BLAINE: I'VE DONE MY WAITING.

BLAINE: TWELVE YEARS OF IT.

BLAINE: IN AZKABLAM.

SAM: THAT'S KRAZY LEVELS OF ACCURATE????

TXT MSG ✉ SAM ⇄ BLAINE

BLAINE: It still doesn't feel like soon enough.

SAM: you waited like a million years to kiss me! you can hold out on husband kissing me a little longer.

TXT MSG ✉ SAM ⇄ BLAINE

BLAINE: DUDE, I KNOW!

SAM: SOON!!

SAM: really really soon.

TXT MSG ✉ SAM ⇄ BLAINE

BLAINE: I feel all swoony just picturing you holding one.

BLAINE: especially one that looks just like you.

SAM: I GET TO MARRY YOU.

TXT MSG ✉ SAM ⇄ BLAINE

BLAINE: they're going to love having a little beeb around.

SAM: I can't wait to see you holding a tiny blam beeb.

TXT MSG ✉ SAM ⇄ BLAINE

BLAINE: baby, we're going to get there.

BLAINE: and we're going to be moved in, and married, and ready.

BLAINE: Chewie and Phineas? might be on the side of unprepared! but not us.

SAM: they'll be ok!!

SAM: chewie got used to having a puppy brother.

TXT MSG ✉ SAM ⇄ BLAINE

BLAINE: yeah I definitely just caught myself smiling like a goober thinking about it.

SAM: I just feel like I want to get there as soon as we can.

SAM: but I want us to be ready and not be like

SAM: HOW DO WE SQUISH A CRIB IN HERE

the human torch @samtasticfour - Tumblr Blog | Tumgag