Someone-please-hire-me

Heya, names Sam. Got tumblr for job opportunities He/They Pfp by Anfeytp ANIMAL HOSPITAL RP ACCOUNT

[samthejoblesscalico-official]

O-Oh! Hello.

My name is Sam, and I work (sometimes) at the Animal Hospital!!!

If anyone I worked with sees this you can say hi! I really don’t mind.

uhhh…

Jobs are so hard to come by these days… I’m worried I won’t be able to pay rent in time…

BUT THATS FINE. THATS why im here in the first place! JOB HUNTING!!!

likes??: Coffee, Sleeping, MONEY, food, a whole bunch food

Dislikes: Anomalies, Slime, that one Cat Agent dude… idk if he’s reading this but you give me the creeps…

I use He/They but really any are fine!

IM OPEN TO JOBS!!! I CAN CLEAN AND (sorta) FIGHT ANOMALIES!!!

MY TAGGGSS:

Asks: #samasksandanswers

yapyap: #samtalks(probablyabtrent)

pictures/drawings: #samneedstoputdownthepencil..

OOC: OOC text with be the normal white basic font. Anyways hi I’m Pride 🥹🥹🥹

School: 9 MST to 3 MST

I GOT NOTHING TO DO WITH THE DEVELOPMENT OF ANIMAL HOSPITAL OR CANNON LORE, My interpretation of Sam is my speculation.

DNI: Just the basics really- MAGA, Racists, Pedos, Homos and Transphobes, the works.

ANYWAYS HOPE YOU ENJOY!!!

[samthejoblesscalico-official]

to the anomalies every is dubbing “3 apples tall” I hope you know that you are a little shit and the next time I see one of you I won’t hesitate to stomp you into the ground you little freaks.

[anomalous-meowmeow]

" wait. is it a little pink tree eyed anomaly.cat.looks like me a little..or is it a different one "

[samthejoblesscalico-official]

uhhhh…

*checks notes*

ok it kinda looks like you but your aren’t the size of my ankle so your good…

[anomalous-meowmeow]

" sam. thats MY THREE APPLES TALL GUY!!!!thats my child...🥺🥺 "

[samthejoblesscalico-official]

your kid is about to be smitten off the plane of existence, im sorry.

it bit me, thats the rules.

[samthejoblesscalico-official]

Psst I heard there's a job you can do at a schoolhouse 👀

- ???

@not-so-basic-enemies

i just saw your blog

im desperate but not that des-

he then proceeds to be smacked with a metal pan.

...

Nvm sure.

[samthejoblesscalico-official]

to the animal on the subway who asked if I was trans and when I said no proceeded to straight up deny that I’m a cis man, I hope an anomaly happens to finds your home, eats all of your food, then proceeds to eat your right arm.

Being a male calico is the worst…

[security-animal-hospital]

Noooo computah dont show me beautiful women noooo… noo computah please don’t show me my beautiful girlfriend… noooo please anything but my beautiful girlfriend in a fabulous outfit… noooooo…

[samthejoblesscalico-official]

You are down BAD, my friend.

Actually you both are…

[just-a-nurse]

Guys I was drinking a few minures agho and my mouyh started bleeding....

And there wa s glqss.... lots og it...

[security-animal-hospital]

HOLY FUCK. COME HERE. WE ARE GOING TO THE HOSPITAL RIGHT NOW.

[samthejoblesscalico-official]

is there an update..? Is she ok..?

[samthejoblesscalico-official]

took a good photo and thought I looked cute…

ignore my apartment and camera pls…

[samthejoblesscalico-official]

to the anomalies every is dubbing “3 apples tall” I hope you know that you are a little shit and the next time I see one of you I won’t hesitate to stomp you into the ground you little freaks.

[anomalous-meowmeow]

" wait. is it a little pink tree eyed anomaly.cat.looks like me a little..or is it a different one "

[samthejoblesscalico-official]

uhhhh…

*checks notes*

ok it kinda looks like you but your aren’t the size of my ankle so your good…

[samthejoblesscalico-official]

to the anomalies everyone is dubbing “3 apples tall” I hope you know that you are a little shit and the next time I see one of you I won’t hesitate to stomp you into the ground you little freaks.

[samthejoblesscalico-official]

hunggrryyyyyrytyrururyry UGHHHH

now I sound the an anomaly wtf.

I JUST WANT A MILKSHAKE IS THAT SO MUCH FOR A CAT TO ASK.

[samthejoblesscalico-official]

one day corpses are going to fill the streets and I have to clean them up for 3.78 an hour.

[security-animal-hospital]

just decided I’m done. Goodbye forever everyone.

[samthejoblesscalico-official]

What the..

Security. Please don’t. You’re a kind guy and you don’t deserve that..!

I understand (sorta..) what you’re going through, what thoughts are probably going through your mind. I’ve been there..

You need to live. You have too. Can you tell me with 200% certainty that you’re going to feel this way tomorrow? How do you know FOR SURE. That it’s going to me a bad day?

[security-animal-hospital]

sighhh.. yeah, I know. I’m just… I feel like I’m being dramatic. It’s fine. I’m not coming into work tomorrow. I’m trying to relax. I’ll be okay.

[samthejoblesscalico-official]

I can assure you no one thinks you’re being dramatic.

Stay safe, Security.

I’m always here if you need help.

[security-animal-hospital]

Ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow

[samthejoblesscalico-official]

what happened..?

I saw you mentioned a headache a little bit ago..

[security-animal-hospital]

i hit my head hard as fuck ow ow ow ow ow

[samthejoblesscalico-official]

Now how in the fuck did you manage that?

[security-animal-hospital]

it was on purpose. I’m sorry

[samthejoblesscalico-official]

…

read my other reblog, security.

[samthejoblesscalico-official]

how do I remove a snake from my bedroom

I’m begging yall please help

[anniethejanitor]

Throw a broom at it. It works with Barney.

[samthejoblesscalico-official]

IT DID NOT WORK IT DID NOT WORK WHAT THE FUCK ITS BAD NOW I TRUSTED YOU-

[anomalous-meowmeow]

" try one of those toy grabber things maybe.. like the long one with the handle and the grabber part is a dinosaur "

[samthejoblesscalico-official]

I don’t have anything like that

I’m thinking I could vacuum it like Ghostbusters…

[anomalous-meowmeow]

" but but but what if it DIES😢😢actually wait "

they pick up the snake

" ouuh its so cute its....i actually dont know what kind it is whatever "

[samthejoblesscalico-official]

HISSSSS

GET THAT SHIT OUTTA MY APARTMENT BRO PLEASE 💔💔💔

[samthejoblesscalico-official]

how do I remove a snake from my bedroom

I’m begging yall please help

[anniethejanitor]

Throw a broom at it. It works with Barney.

[samthejoblesscalico-official]

IT DID NOT WORK IT DID NOT WORK WHAT THE FUCK ITS BAD NOW I TRUSTED YOU-

[anomalous-meowmeow]

" try one of those toy grabber things maybe.. like the long one with the handle and the grabber part is a dinosaur "

[samthejoblesscalico-official]

I don’t have anything like that

I’m thinking I could vacuum it like Ghostbusters…

[security-animal-hospital]

just decided I’m done. Goodbye forever everyone.

[samthejoblesscalico-official]

What the..

Security. Please don’t. You’re a kind guy and you don’t deserve that..!

I understand (sorta..) what you’re going through, what thoughts are probably going through your mind. I’ve been there..

You need to live. You have too. Can you tell me with 200% certainty that you’re going to feel this way tomorrow? How do you know FOR SURE. That it’s going to me a bad day?

[security-animal-hospital]

Ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow

[samthejoblesscalico-official]

what happened..?

I saw you mentioned a headache a little bit ago..

[security-animal-hospital]

i hit my head hard as fuck ow ow ow ow ow

[samthejoblesscalico-official]

Now how in the fuck did you manage that?