SAMWRITES -blog,love,hearbreak,anxiety, happiness

[samwritessblog]

2ND JAN 2024

The change in the year can bring a lot of change in the day and the calendar but the change in you is only brought by the changes u make which heap on pulling out the efforts and drive you to survive, i was pumped and super pumped now to join a gym cause i have been really athletic and really wanted to build my aesthetic and sober skinny body which i don't really wanna flaunt just to make myself feel really good about it and get into shape ...so pullin it off and make my own style statement and getting myself to wear some really funky but the thing which really suits me that kinda stuffs cause i am really into fashion and the style statement make me the happies and jolly baby...i have made plan to look good,eat good and style better ...thats the motto of the 2024,i have build a base in these 3 years after the lockdown i have been keen on doing the sweat work and have mentally prepared myself for that gym hardcore excercise and now i am freaking ready and have done gym before so totally looking forward to it....thats the goal is to not get recognised as today at the end of this year..be better persona nd bet better learner in better job and better shape ...HELL YEAH SUPER PUMPED UP FOR THE 2024...LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE...

[samwritessblog]

BYE TO 2023

the much-awaited and most humble way to bid a stellar goodbye to this good year which made me quieter and made me believe that relationships are not meant to be always fun and that sometimes we have to deal with the problem of understanding the space of one other and give it a let go, i had my last relationship which was ended on august 2022 and after that, i haven't been able to move on but as they say time heals everything and you gotta look ahead meet new people and make yourself available for the people who matters the most,for me those people are my family and friends, so now i understand the value of losing someone you truly love and now not gonna commmit same mistake persistent ..looking for someone who can cheer me up and enjoy my quietness, humor, and freak about songs, series and traveling randomly to random places out of nowhere...I am going be the pilot and she gonna co-pilot this crazy life with me...to a new life and a new beginning.

I have come across new challenges like searching for and coping with my work-life balance and also with my personal life..i made new trips to some good places, enjoyed every bit of my 2023...had fun with friends had some fights and lots of cricket and badminton completed this exciting and furious ride in between i have made many plans to go abroad this year but delayed in the issue of passport and N2 visa, so that is the only regret i have that i haven't done that as of now but the new day and new possibilities await and in the awe of making that happen really bloody sooner that quicker..

so in terms of my friend's side. I have two common girl best friends Chinki and Diksha and other is shubham , they r the ones I make calls to share what is going on in my bloody life and with them nothing I feel embarrassed about its all due and dusted and feels like the connection..

I have my other very good friends are... ,vani,kunal,sai , Bhavani and Arun they r the mood refreshers and with them i feel like ok let's get this shit done and have a blast of the year knowing them and having the best time and where i can feel like i have done something worth remembering for ...i have mine share of experience which i am gonna love and recall for this year-end...this is note for all the trips, fights, fun, parties, night-outs, bettings and hustle work of the corporate life looks like...have done so much and wanna double it in the next year 2024....

I am gonna watch 20 beautiful sunsets from the top of any mountains with different feel and levels of height.

SO WITH OPEN ARMS AND WITHOUT MUCH THOUGHT TO THE FUTURE ...BRING IT ONNN ---2024 ....NO RESOLUTIONS JUST BE BETTER EVERY SINGLE CHAPTER OF 1/365.

31/12/23

[samwritessblog]

2023-24TH DEC

the dec is now finally approached and now on the verge of fading away way sooner, to the new and more exciting journey for 2024 the new year resolution shit is like the past,i am gonna make plans which i am responsible to make happen, this year 2024 i am gonna hike 25 mountains in a different city , country if possible and watch the sunrise or either sunset of those place without capturing it for 30 min just be in the moment there and watch it hold the grip and make my soul pacify and if i am alone or with a friend i am gonna explore that place and get into the adventure by myself. that is my new year goal, not a resolution this I have to do it anyhow.

[samwritessblog]

lost the respect for u , but the time will never come back to heal that broken chaose and broekn verses ,all the words are broken and all the faith in my love life is being thrased like a douchebag

[samwritessblog]

BECOME OMNIPRESENT IN YOUR LOVELESS DREAM

[samwritessblog]

SEX IS PART OF LOVE NOT THE LOVE

[samwritessblog]

BELIVE TO RELIVE

[samwritessblog]

THE MEMORY LANE AND THEN YOU-Kinza mh khan

So to describe or elaborate on my new enhancing memory lane feel for you is not a strange form to me, I have been doing this to myself and now I am trying not to back away from thinking of her,i cannot let go of thinking about you in my 24 hours of span in a day. I can not just undo it, I am so sort of over-attached or over-addicted to her, that I can't unlove her, I am in awe of her look, smile, kiddo voice, her caring angered wittiness everything just falls perfectly in my heart.

Rather than ignoring and getting myself so self-busy,i can not just undo that, i am sort of delusion for myself, getting up doing work, playing cricket, then hitting the gym, then badminton ...surrounded by so many friends at diff timelines of the day but yet once i hit back to back ..only one thing hitting my mind is your thoughts...how i really messed up thing ...i am thinking about u all night ...blaming myself for whatever happens,, i was so ignorant ...ngl ..always in hurry to pack stuff and fly to you and just hug you kinzo ...the night time keeps me reminded of that timing 2.30 pm ...you first time proposed me and i was so puzzled how to reply ..it was like going really fast ..we met 20 days ago and the way u said all that even you knew everything about me nd my past life...ngl i was so impressed and at the same time got confused ....my heart was racing and pacing with so much confusion...i didn't ghost you just took my time before committing anything...i need to be sure whether that can work or not ...but yeah i heard of my heart nd didn't bother about ur religion... i literally thought it is gonna be one more such casual relationship after some time like 6 months we gonna end up after some fun and alll...Days go by but memory and adoring u so much remain still like pond water.

but the time keeps that spark between us ., u getting in my head .. made me so vulnerable to you like I was so keen on know u all...felt love for you like I did for my payal( ex in school time) , but one thing really messed me up like u put me in the situations like which nevr gonna happen...I was sort of falling for u and when u asked about meeting my friend and fam that time i was really worried cause I was not looking for shell locked serious relationship..our conversation nd meeting became so much better day by day .. i totally felt ur love nd starting to love u even more...

So the time was i was in Vizag, with my friend at RK and then u suddenly called me and asked me u wanna register for marriage with me, that took me by storm and surprises me... i wasn't ready to hear, and didn't wanna, to mess up things ...but i agreed to not break ur, heart, after days of ignorance ...i was so down and so happy ...

So then after that, u kept on forcing me to do this and that stuff and mingling wid ur cousins which i really felt uncomfortable...i was like what i am doing .. I am Hindu and u r Muslim...this thing always was in my mind .. I was brainwashed by love but eventually, my cousin's sis told me some good advice when i told her about this situation..cause it's totally a fucked up mess if we do register nd all ...i love my family, and can't go beyond their values...

all this started an argument and tussle and which end up being very violent and toxic .. I literally lost my mind and was missing our older versions when we are in that zone of the breakup...i knew this not gonna last longer .. that's why out of nowhere i said u bipolar and all really worsen the situation and eventually we parted ways...i always wanted to apologize.. it's been like gonna be 1 year in August since we broke up but the memory of u remains in my head rent-free...i was totally wrong like I can't love anyone more than Payal until I met you Kenzo...

THE LIFE IS SHORT, THE WORLD IS WIDE...

LET'S MAKE MEMORIES HOLDING YOU BY MY SIDE...K2H

[samwritessblog]

Gave cg bed exam today

went well hoping for better results

[samwritessblog]

THE DAY IS NEVER ENDING

So the time is there and i am totally covering up topics and getting used to the certified life which is like understanding ceritificaste importance and mainly skills Of SQL and tableau

[samwritessblog]

LETS GO

NO MB AND START MAKING UR MOM PROUD FROM TODAY TILL U GET UR DREAM CAR-----RANGE ROVER

[samwritessblog]

GET TO SEQUEL AND EXCEL ALL COMPLETE COURSE

[samwritessblog]

BACK ON TRACK

Time really dont fly it just leaves day by day and u can feel it ,if u r not satisfied and connected with th place and people then u really got to understand how hard it is tp survive in an alien land, i was totally and truely wasnt in a great space except one person in my ofc to cheer me up when i was down ... arun bro , u deserve great appreciation to make my day good wid ur nonsense talks we are good buddies and see you soon mate , i am so relieved really now back to home, back to people i like and enjoy my time wid them , i am really in good space as i am enjoying this time and now need to make most of it... i am in a zone where we need to held our skills high and try to find out new and steady job ... so basically io need to compile all my experience and find a good job.

[samwritessblog]

ITS BIRTHDAY BITHCES

So again in the steak of losing a age by a year, and yet happy again ,i dunno why i want this kind of validation on my birthday , that i need appreciation from each and every one of the family and frinds , i think i am just over obsessed with the current day young ass kids who used to put dramatic and aesthetic kinda post to thier shitty and rarely fuck given insta feeds.

i am into the validation kind of change but i need some upskillment in mine ideas and in mine self , sop this would be good and advance way to get upskill and learn something self worth.

yesterday night i was in the office when i got my birthday wish from my one of the besties she called and wished an di felt smily and delighted ,she made my day obviously and after that i havent told anything to my office colleague ,just went inside the cafeteria and have a sl;ice of cake to celebrate this day wid one and only guest of honour and that is me , i know i am so private person and liked to be this much of private in this life ,so it feels really happy and really motivated to be in this field of job at night all alone and then u realise that u will end up alone , lots of people and gf came in my life , i used to wait for their calls , messages and their appreciation in kind of love but now i have learned that nothing last longers, it just last how much u want it to be lasting , then u will alone in day light and all ur alone fights.

i am now trying to give enough time to sql and data analyst job role then only this job will make me a very reasonable career , i am so fond of gadgets and tech , so into it.

PEACE OUT #HAPPY 25TH TO ME ...

ALL LOVE AND ALL HAPPINESS ,NOTHING TO REGRETS ALL MY DECISONS AND ALL MY FAULTS....JUST NEED TIME TO IMPROVE IT.

[samwritessblog]

BACK TO HYDERABAD

New day calls for the new and exciting hustle,late nights and early morning shifts and work are really cool and indifferent while working from home, but the perspective really changes when the things dont go well .like in mine case i am not really able to cope up with the timing and really struggling to get over the line ,planning to lean excel ,tableau and the sql language but the timing really sucks , i am totally into a bad position but just little bit of good experience will definitely change the perceptive and i will be gonna get much more than what i deserve i just need to be really patient and really on to the new begging and preparing for what i want and what i can accomplish.

[samwritessblog]

I guess luck is not favoring me at all, the luck which caused too much loss in the betway was originally been fucked up and the more loss have been engraved I am pathetically sad and very angry due to this realistic atmosphere cause everything is in my favour from start but till the end it fucking changes to other losing teams , is there any kind of crime I have done that till date I would have been in the profit of around 3k but now I am currently in loss of 1500 which really sucks me up and kills me from inside but I don't show that feeling on the face I am so much eager to win and I know one day all my luck and charm gonna work and I am gonna earn handsome amount of money from it.

[samwritessblog]

turn ur anger into ego and then it will hop in as motive for ur success.