THE MEMORY LANE AND THEN YOU-Kinza mh khan
So to describe or elaborate on my new enhancing memory lane feel for you is not a strange form to me, I have been doing this to myself and now I am trying not to back away from thinking of her,i cannot let go of thinking about you in my 24 hours of span in a day. I can not just undo it, I am so sort of over-attached or over-addicted to her, that I can't unlove her, I am in awe of her look, smile, kiddo voice, her caring angered wittiness everything just falls perfectly in my heart.
Rather than ignoring and getting myself so self-busy,i can not just undo that, i am sort of delusion for myself, getting up doing work, playing cricket, then hitting the gym, then badminton ...surrounded by so many friends at diff timelines of the day but yet once i hit back to back ..only one thing hitting my mind is your thoughts...how i really messed up thing ...i am thinking about u all night ...blaming myself for whatever happens,, i was so ignorant ...ngl ..always in hurry to pack stuff and fly to you and just hug you kinzo ...the night time keeps me reminded of that timing 2.30 pm ...you first time proposed me and i was so puzzled how to reply ..it was like going really fast ..we met 20 days ago and the way u said all that even you knew everything about me nd my past life...ngl i was so impressed and at the same time got confused ....my heart was racing and pacing with so much confusion...i didn't ghost you just took my time before committing anything...i need to be sure whether that can work or not ...but yeah i heard of my heart nd didn't bother about ur religion... i literally thought it is gonna be one more such casual relationship after some time like 6 months we gonna end up after some fun and alll...Days go by but memory and adoring u so much remain still like pond water.
but the time keeps that spark between us ., u getting in my head .. made me so vulnerable to you like I was so keen on know u all...felt love for you like I did for my payal( ex in school time) , but one thing really messed me up like u put me in the situations like which nevr gonna happen...I was sort of falling for u and when u asked about meeting my friend and fam that time i was really worried cause I was not looking for shell locked serious relationship..our conversation nd meeting became so much better day by day .. i totally felt ur love nd starting to love u even more...
So the time was i was in Vizag, with my friend at RK and then u suddenly called me and asked me u wanna register for marriage with me, that took me by storm and surprises me... i wasn't ready to hear, and didn't wanna, to mess up things ...but i agreed to not break ur, heart, after days of ignorance ...i was so down and so happy ...
So then after that, u kept on forcing me to do this and that stuff and mingling wid ur cousins which i really felt uncomfortable...i was like what i am doing .. I am Hindu and u r Muslim...this thing always was in my mind .. I was brainwashed by love but eventually, my cousin's sis told me some good advice when i told her about this situation..cause it's totally a fucked up mess if we do register nd all ...i love my family, and can't go beyond their values...
all this started an argument and tussle and which end up being very violent and toxic .. I literally lost my mind and was missing our older versions when we are in that zone of the breakup...i knew this not gonna last longer .. that's why out of nowhere i said u bipolar and all really worsen the situation and eventually we parted ways...i always wanted to apologize.. it's been like gonna be 1 year in August since we broke up but the memory of u remains in my head rent-free...i was totally wrong like I can't love anyone more than Payal until I met you Kenzo...
THE LIFE IS SHORT, THE WORLD IS WIDE...
LET'S MAKE MEMORIES HOLDING YOU BY MY SIDE...K2H