Sanitatum

Deus est enim, qui sanat. Semi-dependent RP blog, semi-selective, Archangel-Raphael!Karkat for sinsandvirtues Homestuck AU. Contains religious themes and mature content.

[feelmymuscles-blog]

wow lookit this an arquiusprite blog????

promo this my dudes let him grow feel his muscles

[sanandolacus-blog]

blcsscd:

longer than three words?

aight

i believe i can manage, just for thee

;o)

fuck my orifice

LOOK AT THIS STEAMING PILE OF MUSCLEBEAST DESECRATE. LOOK AT IT. FEAST YOUR EYES UPON THE CONSEQUENCES OF YOUR CHOICES. I COULD HAVE GONE MY ENTIRE SHORT AND PATHETIC LIFE WITHOUT EVER READING THIS BUT YOU FORCED THIS CURSE UPON ME. THE CHOICES THAT YOU ACTIVELY MADE AND PUT FORTH FOR EVERY WRIGGLER TO GAZE UPON IN ABJECT HORROR.

LOOK AT IT, YOU FUCKING DISASTER.

YOU DID THIS.

[jokerkiind-deactivated20170517]

@sanandolacus @5upwhor3 @zazzerpan @ask-cherrylioness @8eware @kyra-koukouvagia @sibylatrist @turntable-fort @quaesedesmare @famelicose-sanguine

sO like i said i Only lOOked away fOr a few minutes and i cOme back tO this

which im assuming everyOne caught wind Of multi dimensiOnal cOmmunicatiOns and gOt psyched tO chat up an alien 

wOuld i even be an alien if im talkin tO Other trOlls whO are just frOm different dimensiOns

a questiOn that cOuld prObably be studied by philOsOphers and scientists and wed still nOt really have any answers

im just gOnna assume everyOne is an alien even if theyre trOlls

wassup aliens names dayvee whOre yOu

[sanandolacus-blog]

IF YOU WANT THE SHORT ANSWER, I'M JUST ANOTHER POINTLESS TOOL WITH A BOTTLE OF NOOKCRACK TIER KOMBUCHA PRESSED TO MY LIPS LIKE ALL I HAVE IS A PILE OF DUST IN MY PANDAN LEAF WALLET AND IT'S THE LAST WRETCHED DAY OF HUMAN COACHELLA.

IF YOU'RE ACTUALLY SOMEWHAT INVESTED IN THE STRANGER WHO'S FOUND THEIR WAY ONTO YOUR HUSKTOP, YOU CAN CALL ME KARKAT: THE ONLY COMPETENT WORKER AT ST. RAPHAEL HOSPITAL.

[sanandolacus-blog]

blcsscd:

wouldst it not be thou serenading me beneath the starlight, singing sweet nothings before fisting me?

i do not believe i wouldst be the one goading thee into a romantic night of my orifices getting filled, such wouldst be thy duty to make me swoon

I IMPLORE YOU WITH EVERY SWEET DROP OF EARNESTY IN MY BEING TO STOP YOUR IMAGERY THERE. THIS PARTICULAR LITERARY LANE OF DRAMATIC PROSE IS NOT FOR YOU, AND FROM THIS DAY FORTH, I DECLARE THAT IT IS NOW COMPLETELY ILLEGAL FOR YOU TO EVER SAY THE WORD "ORIFICE" IN ANY SENTENCE LONGER THAN THREE WORDS.

I AM TAKING THIS EXIT NOW AND MAKING MY RIGHT AS I DRIVE MY CONVERSATIONAL CAR WAY THE FUCK OUT OF FISTING METAPHOR HIGHWAY 280. NOW IF YOU DON'T MIND, TAKE YOUR SWOON HORN A THOUSAND CUBIC LIGHT YEARS AWAY FROM MY BUMPER.

[gaysuggestions]

netflix and…rest your head on my thigh while I run my fingers through your hair continuously

[ilvantc-blog]

@sanandolacus

raph, buddy, pal. chill.

[sanandolacus-blog]

LOOK AT ME, PRIDE.  I LOOK LIKE I FELL OUT OF A FUCKING BADLY DUBBED JAPANESE ANIMATED PORN TAPE FROM THE EIGHTIES. I HAVEN'T BLINKED IN AN HOUR BECAUSE I'M TERRIFIED THAT IF I PUT MY GUARD DOWN FOR EVEN A MILLISECOND, THERE WILL BE SEVEN UNDER QUALIFIED DOCTORS ATTEMPTING TO REESTABLISH THE DEFINITION OF BUKAKKE. MIND YOU, DESPITE HAVING LEARNED WHAT THAT WORD MEANS FAIRLY RECENTLY, I DON'T THINK I NEED A FUCKING REMINDER.

[sanandolacus-blog]

amityrepress:

Now I’m tempted to say no just to see if you’re gonna do it or not.

ADORN YOURSELF WITH THE LATEX, YOU FUCKING HEATHENWAGON. EVERY SECOND I SPEND EXTENDING THIS CONVERSATION ONLY WORKS TO GRATE UPON MY BARELY EXISTENT NERVES.

[sanandolacus-blog]

blcsscd

:o)!

next time then

NO.

THERE WILL BE NO NEXT TIME. THERE WILL BE NO POETIC NIGHT IN WHICH YOU STAND BENEATH MY BALCONY WHISPERING SWEET POETIC LIMERICKS IN WHICH I FIST YOU IN THE STARLIGHT KISSED BALUSTRADE. MY FOOT AND FIST ARE STAYING RIGHT WHERE THEY BELONG: OUTSIDE OF ORIFICES.

[blcsscd]

sanandolacus:

IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO SCHEDULE A CHECK UP, I CAN CLOCK YOU IN FOR A TWELVE A LOCK ENEMA.

THERE’S A NEW PROCEDURE CALLED ‘MY FIST’.

yes, i hath heard of fisting before

didn’t realize thou were into such though

;o)

[sanandolacus-blog]

FUCK. YOU'RE RIGHT.

I WALKED STRAIGHT INTO THAT ONE IN MY TIGHT, PINK, POLYESTER OUTFIT WHILST THE BUILDING WAS BURNING. THE PLASTIC FILAMENTS CAN NO LONGER BE REMOVED FROM MY FLESH WITHOUT EXTREME MEASURES INVOLVING AT LEAST 14 SURGERIES AND I HAVE NO ONE TO BLAME EXCEPT MY SHITTY, OBTUSE PAST SELF. YOU WIN THIS ROUND, YOU SHIT-EATING GRIN FACED CLOWN SCHNOZZLE. 

[sanandolacus-blog]

amityrepress:

I’ll have you know that my dick is not disgusting and I keep it away from clowns. It just goes to show how little you know about us Incubi. Now, if it was another hot demon or angel, sure. Hell, even mortals, I’ve been fucking around with, but never clowns.

IT'S CALLED A METAPHOR, YOU TEN PIECE FUCKNUGGET WITH A SIDE OF DICKFRIES.

KEEP THIS UP AND I WILL PERSONALLY APPOINT YOU WITH A WELL FITTED CHASTITY BELT. MADE OF KNIVES. NOW ARE YOU GOING TO USE THE CONDOMS OR NOT?

[blcsscd]

@sanandolacus

cute

[sanandolacus-blog]

IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO SCHEDULE A CHECK UP, I CAN CLOCK YOU IN FOR A TWELVE O’ CLOCK ENEMA.

THERE'S A NEW PROCEDURE CALLED 'MY FIST'.

[sanandolacus-blog]

amityrepress:

I can’t believe you think that I would not be able to have safe sex and do protection. My man, I am an incubus, you know that, right? But I appreciate it. I guess.

UGH. PLEASE. I’M ONTO YOU. YOU INCUBII GO AROUND WHIPPING OUT YOUR INFLAMED PAPULE POLKA-DOTTED PARTY BALLOONS OUT OF YOUR CIRCUS PANTS AND WHACK THEM AGAINST THE FACES OF EVERY CLOWN YOU SEE.I'M NOT GOING TO SIT AROUND AS YOU INFEST THE MASSES, THANK YOU VERY FUCKING MUCH.

[sanandolacus-blog]

amordulcis replied to your post “M!Anon: you are forced to wear a sexy nurse outfit for the next 24...”

This is h9nestly m9re 6eautiful than I th9ught it w9uld 6e.

GO FUCK YOURSELF.

[sanandolacus-blog]

@feelmymuscles

Among the sweet scent of spring petrichor, there was an odor that was keeping Raphael from focusing. At all.

It smelled like milk, but sweeter, but also remotely of sweaty, masculine body odor. Like a muscular diabetic who wasn't properly taking care of themselves and consuming nothing but Welsch Apple Juice Gummy Grubs. And also milky? And also right next to oil and a burnt out raspberry pi. Maybe it was a rotting apple cream tart in the middle of a Best Buy.

Frankly, it was disgusting and the archangel found himself compelled to give dietary advice to the poor bastard who smelt like this. "What the ever loving fuck is that wafting milkstench?"

[salihombox]

Do cRaBs tHiNk fIsH CaN FlY?

My friends discuss this meme picture and think of erifish and karcrab solbee design from @xdarkzax solbee

[sanandolacus-blog]

@amityrepress

A rather fine crafted parcel goes flying through the air, smacking Dirk square in the forehead. It's bright orange and in bold, black text reads, "DON'T BE A FOOL. COVER YOUR TOOL."

The box also reads extra large. It's condoms.

[vasseuriina]

eve’s tiny giveaway

hi!! so i decided i would do a giveaway bc a) i love you all and b) i never thought fef would get this much love?? i’m incredibly grateful to all of you

so!! in this giveaway i’ll be choosing 3 winners with a random generator, and once they win, they will get a picture of their choice depending on which place they get. to enter, all you have to do is reblog this. you may reblog up to 3 times.

i have a few rules though!!

you must be following me

no immediate unfollows after the giveaway is over and please do not accuse me of cheating, i do not personlly choose who wins out of the reblogs, the generator does.

if you win, please don’t expect your picture to be done within a day or two. i am not v fast w making finished pieces, but i will try!!

sending anon hate just bc you did not win.

for the winners, first place will receive a fully colored picture, waist up. second place will receive a bust shot, and third, a colored sketch. what i will draw:

i can give furries a shot but no huge promises bc i’m not gr8 at animals,,

fantrolls

ocs

what i will not draw:

 nsfw ( i’m a minor pls don’t ask. )

extreme body horror ( junji ito type stuff )

mecha/robots ( i’m sorry i suck at that :c )

muscle/extreme bodybuilding

erisol or gamkar, i’m sorry but these are ships that have personally been ruined for me and i will not draw them

the winners will be announced on may 23rd, good luck!!