𝟶𝟸. [ this too shall pass ]

[sanctichor]

[ this too shall pass. ] aesthetics and notes for abel nightroad of sunao yoshida's trinity blood series as known by ares. light novel + manga - based with heavy headcanon influence. based at @baricenters

a study in the human vs the inhuman divine, cosmic horror, atonement, and desperately trying to figure out what it means to be human.

⠀ — pinterest ・ carrd ・ playlist

[baricenters]

as abel is a. not a real catholic priest as defined by canon law (as he was neither baptized nor confirmed), and b. does not actually believe in G-d, none of the things he blesses are actually blessed. his holy water does not work against traditional vampires, demons, or any otherwise ‘unholy’ creature.

[sanctichor]

abel has a revolver for the aesthetic of it and that's it.

[sanctichor]

i cannot stress enough how much of abel's disposition is because he's killed over seven million people. he will let himself be harassed, belittled, tortured, and mutilated because he sees it fitting considering his past. he will forgive almost all transgressions against him and others if it means giving someone a chance to change for the better because he has explicitly done worse. he killed over seven million people because he wanted them to die. he enjoyed it. he maximized causalities and offered false mercy and destroyed cities for the sheer pleasure of it. his actions were systematic with the intention of eradicating humanity as a species. he would've slaughtered more at the time if he had the opportunity to. it was genocide, plain and simple, and he lives with the knowledge that not only is he a monster, but that very few people remain who can comprehend and understand the scope of his carnage. his actions were on such a scale and so long ago that they sound mythical, but to him it is still very real and very fresh. no one is left to punish him, to judge him, so he must do it himself.

he calls himself a monster because of his actions, not because of the nature of the krusnik. in chapter 18 he describes the krusnik as "the mark of [his] sins" because it is simply that; the tool which he used to exact a perceived revenge on those who did not deserve it. and his fear of the krusnik, while partially influenced by the fate of cain, is also rooted in his disgust of the person he was when he wanted the krusnik and its power.

[sanctichor]

abel’s existence is something inherently off-putting to anyone who interacts with him if he is not careful about it. there is a deep wrongness at the core of him, something that sets him slightly of the tempo of the pace of life on earth, and if he were to allow the truth of himself to sit him still he would all but bleed with this wrongness. he was not made for earth and he unmade himself further, and even the way his lashes flutter is an uncanny thing. he is not a human but an imitation thereof, something made predator and existing on the edge of comprehension. incompatible with humanity, but trying any way. so he simply does not sit still. he is an animated caricature of himself, limbs constantly flying, body swaying with every dramatic dip of his voice, and oh how he moves with dramatic flair! the exaggeration of his personality isn’t just a psychological defense mechanism, it’s a physical one.

[blanchette]

by  @chongzhen_085  on  twitter.

[sanctichor]

i honestly love that abel has that clunky old revolver. the man was literally genetically engineered for security and likely trained with a huge variety of guns and is most comfortable and familiar with something like a PDW or really just. any decent rifle with selective fire. but no he’s gotta have that big iron on his hip

[baricenters]

[  𝚃𝙾: 𝙽𝙸𝙶𝙷𝚃𝚁𝙾𝙰𝙳, 𝙰. ]  “I stand here in the dark: cold, utterly alone, full of fear and something that feels like longing.” - @krusnik03​

he wears his guilt ‘round his neck like an albatross. a heavy cross affixed to his collar that pulls him low to the earth. it wears many faces. lilith, her memory his guide, his anchor, the prison of his own making. as all hauntings should be. seth, the god-empress in a girl’s body. the one left behind. and he is drowning in the abyss of her confession. the chill he feels settling on his heart has nothing to do with the crisp night air.

“ seth. ” he cannot pass a breath between his lips without it feeling like damnation. words fail him and in turn he fails others. so trembling hands rest upon trembling hands, shoulder against shoulder, and very quietly but firmly, he pulls her close to his chest. it is a practiced movement, an old instinct built into their bones even before anything unworldly made its home there. gone are the priest and the empress, the lieutenant-colonel and the major. not even 𝟶𝟸 and 𝟶𝟹 are able to find space for divinity between the arms of a brother holding his sister.

“ you’re not alone. ” he has said this many times before. he will say it many times again. to many people. but here is perhaps where it began; something built long ago with small hands pressed against glass, clear blue eyes peering down at a tiny, sleeping form, full of wonder for the first time. a promise made and broken over and over again, a bond made and stretched thin but never truly snapping. and he speaks with as much conviction as he did then. “ i am on your side. always. ” it does not feel like enough. he does not know how to make it enough. in the dark he makes a quiet confession of his own, words slow and thick as if he fears speaking them.  “ i miss them too. ”

[sanctichor]

i am once again thinking about the founding members of ax being abel’s first real friends and how they all taught him how to live like a human being

[helionomica]

ABEL NIGHTROAD // KRUSNIK OUTPUT: 40%   [ TRINITY BLOOD: VOL. 1, CH. 1 ]

[helionomica]

ABEL NIGHTROAD // KRUSNIK OUTPUT: 80%   [ TRINITY BLOOD: VOL. 15, CH. 58 ]

[sanctichor]

tldr for what will be eventually a larger post about it, but abel's fma verse features him as a homunculus much like the dwarf in the flask/father in terms of scale. he's just, like always, a little weenie about it.

[sanctichor]

it still invovles aliens tho

[sanctichor]

atop his head were as it were a crown of silver, his face was that of a man's. his hair as the women's hair, his teeth as the lion's teeth. // abel nightroad of sunao yoshida’s trinity blood series as known by ares.

[iamjapanese]

Szüts Miklós（Hungarian, b.1945）

Tuscany. Pink    2008

watercolour, paper 

[sanctichor]

tldr for what will be eventually a larger post about it, but abel's fma verse features him as a homunculus much like the dwarf in the flask/father in terms of scale. he's just, like always, a little weenie about it.

[sanctichor]

abel's lack of agency often appears to be almost a narrative choice, especially in the light novels. he doesn't get a lot of the limelight, his appearances often being balanced out by other characters, and he goes through none of the trials typical of a protagonist experiencing character development. rather it's esther, in the manga/ROM novels especially, who grows and becomes fully formed throughout the course of the story. the RAM novels almost seem like short stories made for world-building in comparison, and while abel appears more often in the latter series, it's only because he appears to be upgraded from a part in an ensemble cast to that of a deuteragonist. he exists as her foil and as someone to provide cryptic context. and while this is likely because of the format the light novels and yoshida simply making choices based on what lore he wanted to share and how many pages he had to do it in, when you take abel's personality into consideration it almost feels... intentional? he's such an carefully passive person that he's difficult to perceive as 'main character material' in most respects, until his metaphorical hand is forced and he uses his abilities.

[snaggz]

     I’m a little bit sorry.