starlight,

who do you smile for? i hope it's me.

[sangsorrow]

— — - introducing 𝕀𝕍𝔸ℕ, no.１ fan-favorite pet human, top model, and semi-finalist of ꍏ꒒ꀤꍟꈤ ꌗ꓄ꍏꁅꍟ ꜱᴇᴀꜱᴏɴ 50. get his vinyl single 𝔹𝕃𝔸ℂ𝕂 𝕊𝕆ℝℝ𝕆𝕎 while stocks last! ( now with 50% sale on songs of dead contestants ) - — — owned by nate ( 29 — he/him — CE(S)T ). carrd.

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( SINGING WITH. ) @gravesung & @sangscars / @harerazor / @bravcguardian / @lunaurous / @moonfelling. ( SINGING FOR. ) @bvlvnhan / @yalldved / @oathstruck / @seejungfer / @koriningyou / @nihilomania / @fatelied. ( BLOGROLL. ) @liangloong / @beastreign / @echorruption. ( GRAPHICS. ) faedcourt / sibylsource / floragfx. ( LINKS. ) prompts / open starters / wishlist / headcanons / dash games / art tag.

i have a lot of au's that you can check out on my carrd. i talk about them randomly based on what thoughts hit me. i talk a lot about my muse at the most random times, actually. if you follow me, you're signing up for those random thoughts and general chatter. for the most part, i differentiate between these verses using emojis, so i wrote down this handy dandy list for you to use as a quick reference if needed.

[ ☄️ ] canon

[ 🔪 ] rebellion/post-canon

[ 🎭 ] traitor/post-canon 2.0

[ 🎤 ] rockstar

[ 🏈 ] jock/school

[ 🎥 ] actor

[ ✨ ] modern idol/model

[ ⛸ ] figure skater

[ 🔫 ] mafia

[ 💫 ] indie musician

[ 🪽 ] angel

[ 👾 ] eldritch horror

[ 🕯 ] cult leader

[ 🪓 ] serial killer

[ 👻 ] ghost/hallucination

[ 🦇 ] vampire

[ 🪄 ] warlock/bg3

[ ⚔️ ] knight

[ 👑 ] prince

[ 🏴‍☠️ ] pirate

[ 🐙 ] merman/cecaelia

[ 🐍 ] snake hybrid

[ ⛓ ] prisoner/criminal

[ ☣ ] wuwa/superhero/superpower-adjacent verses

[ 📋 ] guideverse

[ 🍚 ] pokémon

[sangsorrow]

// speedrun rendering don't look too much at it

[vexheart]

"Are they lovers?" Worse. They were supposed to be, but never got the chance.

[sangsorrow]

@gravesung

[insinirate]

is this anything

[sangsorrow]

// i am once again reminded of the service pokémon concept so maybe making ivan's umbreon as the goverment assigned eeveelution being specifically trained to help him when he becomes overstimulated as well as remind him when he fucking forgets to eat would be. cute

[sangsorrow]

// i think it's interesting how when i previously talked about ivan being proficient with every instrument, it's also like. if anyone points it out as being impressive, he'll just kinda ?? shrug? like is it. he doesn't think it is. he's just doing what ppl told him to do and learn and perform with. he always argues that anyone can learn these things if they actually put their mind to it.

[starchiko]

❛   that's   easy   peasy! ❜   she   claps   as   if   she   has   it   all   figured   it   out.

❛   you   continue   with   placing   your   best   foot   forward,   and   then   you   just   wait   ‘til   they   love you back!   they’ll   come   along   sooner   or   later.   ❜

continued from here / @sangsorrow

[sangsorrow]

“ ...? ” he looks unimpressed. is it. is it so easy. then how come it hasn't been working out for the last several months.

“ what? ” no longer unimpressed. he's just straight up offended. he looks down at his feet, as if trying to figure it out. which one is his best foot? he's never considered that. he makes a experimental step forward with the left one, and then the right one. he feels like he's come no closer to figuring it out.

“ stop fucking with me. ”

[sangsorrow]

// ivan's psyche in the pkmn au is so much more stable solely because it's not weird when he brings along his emotional support centipede

[sangsorrow]

ivan doesn't dream. or he does, and just never remembers it. he chooses to believe to be unable to actually dream; a pitiful existence like his own couldn't possibly deserve even the brief respite of a little dreamful whimsy. but there is no other explanation for this. he's tried asking chandelure to use dream eater, and she concluded that he did appear to have been dreaming more actively lately. supposedly his dreams have tasted dry, indicative of the desert being a recurring location. this time, however, it feels a lot more solid and real. sort of like lucid dreaming; he's read about this before and felt envious of those who could achieve this.

there's a presence he can sense but not quite pinpoint. for as vast and seemingly lifeless as the area seemed, ivan knew he wasn't alone. he felt uneasy knowing that he didn't have any of his pokémon with him; he'd reach around his belt for his pokéballs on multiple ocassions, on reflex, only to be left empty-handed. more often than not, did he turn over his shoulder to see if cassiopeia was trailing after him, as she so often did. nothing; no one.

then, he hears the buzzing. he stops, tries to look for the source of the sound. it looks like little more than a blur, the creature's colors blending in maybe too well with its surroundings. only when the pokémon— can it even be classified as one? —lands in front of him, can he make out her shape. tall and bug-like. immediatelly, ivan feels a certain level of affection. he can't hate a bug-type.

she gives him the impression of the ultra beasts he's been forced to face before, but unlike the ones he's seen before. or maybe she's simply little more than a product of his own imagination. which is insane the more he thinks about it. he does not have "imagination." carefully, he observes every single of her movements. she doesn't appear hostile, though... perhaps a little prissy.

ivan doesn't follow right away, simply following her stride with his eyes ( when was the last time he blinked? ) before his legs seemingly began to move on their own. he keeps his gaze fixated onto her form, finding this angle to be much better for observation than if he were to walk beside her.

he just hopes he can remember this dream later.

[sangsorrow]

// things to be said about no matter if ivan frees himself from other people having an upper hand over him at the end of the day he's still a prisoner of his own mind

[sangsorrow]

in front of vanya, ivan has spread out an arrangement of thing's he's stolen from till for his other self to investigate. enrichment, a gift, or a peace offering for the bug. probably all three.

(can be either humanmoding or bugmoding but im giggling imagining vanya touching / sensing everything with its antennae )

( @harerazor )

it's sitting in front of the desk, waiting. it carefully looks over the treasures offered: ranging from pencils and sketchbooks, jewellery, guitar picks, to various articles of clothing. were vanya not on a more-or-less similar mission ever since ivan has decided to plant one of its offshoots to spy on till, it might have been more impressed. though, it supposes, it's still relatively impressive that ivan has managed to snatch all of these things without till noticing. especially given that his ability to shapeshift is still lacking ( or perhaps it's due to his continual unwillingness to give in ).

it sits up straighter, back leaning against the couch. hands slowly reach towards its chest, fingers seamlessly splitting its form in half. from its innermost void, it starts pulling out some of till's belonging that it has managed to borrow itself. they were mostly smaller things, easily pocketable. while it was infinite on the inside, it was a little difficult to roam around till's apartment entirely free outside of its insect form. sometimes, till would notice, and say it was cute, when it had one of his markers gripped between its mandibles. more often than not, he would let it get away with it. on account of the "cuteness." vanya imagined this was a privilege its host didn't get.

“ what is the exact purpose of confiscating his belongings. ”

[sangsorrow]

seeing her big brother figure approach his beloved just makes sachiko so darn proud and happy for him! 🥹

( @starchiko )

“ and have you yet figured out a way on how to get one's feelings reciprocated? ” if she's going to constantly hover around him, she might as well be useful. especially in the ways of how to properly interact with a human.

[sangscars]

❝ uh. my intention's biting you, stupid. ❞ the next stage in his menacing: hands under ivan's shirt. warm hands on cool skin. till nuzzles into the nape of his neck for a moment before working on another hickey, just behind the first one he left. ❝ also i'm hungry. let's get food. ❞

[sangsorrow]

he's noting that down. tenses up a bit at the sudden intrusion under his clothes; he doesn't mind it, never does, but the difference in temperature is always noticeable and never expected if it's not ivan initiating the contact. he lets out a small groan when till bites and sucks a hickey into his skin. “ i don't think i can cook anything with you clinging to me like this. you good with takeout? ”

[sangscars]

an angry whine precedes till trying to twist his body enough to elbow ivan in the ribs. ❝ well, i decline your declining! ❞

[sangsorrow]

bites down harder in response to the physical violence. can he really be blamed? ivan keeps till still with one arm around his middle, and brings the other to squeeze at his throat. “ too bad you don't get a say. ”

[356migoro]

Sorry, kinda busy right now. Come back later?

[sangsorrow]

@sangscars

[sangscars]

❝ HEY — BACK OFF!!! ❞ // @sangsorrow

[sangsorrow]

“ i have carefully considered your request and decided to politely decline. ” all the while not so politely sinking his teeth into till's shoulder.

[sangsorrow]

“ ... ” he waits, patiently. he'd love to peer over till's shoulder like he once used to to see the exact process of the drawing, but he keeps to himself for the time being, hands stuffed in the pockets of his coat. it's done faster than he would've imagined ( he used to measure the time it took whenever till drew anything ) and his eyes widen a little once he's presented the drawing.

it's definitely not till's usual style of semi-realism. ivan tilts his head a little before actually taking the page. he inspects the lines a bit more closely now, running his gloves fingers over them, and very pointedly ignoring the caption. it's not important.

“ thank you, ” he says after a while and holds the sketch close to him. he'll cherish it forever. it's the only one he's ever gotten from till, and very likely the last.