How do you think Deidara would deal with having a crush on a Hidden Stone shinobi? Like imagine it’s after he’s left the village and he catches himself thinking about them and he’s like “Crap. I have feelings for them”. How do you think he’d deal with the realisation and it all afterwards?
Hmm, this was a really interesting ask! Thank you so much for sending it in! I’m not sure how in character this will end up feeling or how well-done it is, but I tried my best and hope you enjoy it 😊
It’s sort of funny because Deidara is a very emotional being. He feels things strong and bold, almost at a level that a lot of others don’t, and his moods and feelings hit him like a ton of bricks. But for someone that feels things so strongly, he’s a little emotionally constipated when it comes to recognizing what he’s feeling and knowing how to deal with it.
He probably honestly had the crush back when he was a Stone shinobi, probably had it for quite a while. He bickered and laughed and fought alongside this person, he showed his art to this person, it’s not just some random stranger. It would have to be someone he knew well, and he definitely had liked them for some time…he just isn’t great at realizing that was what he was feeling and even if he had some hunches, he always pushed them really far away from him because he just doesn’t know how to deal with that kind of stuff. He had other goals and ambitions and his art and those were all things he knew how to deal with far better.
So maybe it’s not that unexpected to him when he does find himself thinking about them. He finds that they popped into his head for just a second, before he pushed the thought away really fast and really hard, when he defected from the village and became a missing-nin.
And they kept popping up in his head and every single time he would grow agitated, grow pissed at it, and push the thought harder and harder from his mind. He missed them, deep inside himself, but it’s not something he wants to think about and definitely doesn’t want to admit to himself.
After all, he doesn’t regret his decision to leave the village. He really doesn’t and he still has his goals and his plans and his art to focus on. So why won’t they just leave him alone? He figures that if he just gives it enough time, he’ll stop thinking about them.
But the months go by and still there will be times when he thinks back on his memories with them, or something reminds him of them, or he’ll have a dream about them. He wonders how they’re doing, and he does eventually come to admit he probably had had a crush on them. However, he’s more than aware enough to know there’s no room in his life for a romantic relationship and that his crush had their own life and goals back in the village. There’s no possibilities for them.
So, he keeps on, pushing back the majority of the thoughts and accepting the ones he can’t. When he can’t, he chooses instead to distract himself and he uses the frustration of the might have been’s to fuel his art. Every great artist needed a little torture and tragedy in their lives, after all.
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