feel like i've been here before.

santiago varela; 21; beta lambada mu “you are your own anchor. do you want to keep burning or are you going to let yourself rise?”

[santiagosvarcla]

santiago 📱 ft. jade

santiago: ti ho amato. ti ho amato. con tutto me stesso, tutto quello che ero e ora .. hai ragione. ti lascio andare.

[santiagosvarcla]

@wildgemma​!

“yoooo, cowgirl, you -- what’s your name..” he snapped his fingers, as if trying to recall the other. “red head,” he continued, “janice! i heard you had a crush on me.” 

[santiagosvarcla]

@livcxstillo​ !! 

 he’d been busy, rising early for soccer practice almost every morning due to the fact that he was aware there were agents coming to school, agents that could change his life -- not that he needed it to be changed, but if santiago ever wished for anything the most, it was to be in major league soccer. he'd been meaning to contact liv after the mass text, aware now this was the secret she was so afraid would come out. instead of giving her  a call and letting her know he was coming, santiago just made way to the kappa house, knocking the door once reaching the entrance. “hey,” he created the girl in the front, “can i see liv?” he watched as the girl made way to the rooms upstairs, allowing himself inside the house to wait for the young woman to come down. once she came into view, he gave her a small sad smile. “i’m sorry.. i should have come sooner...” 

[ryankingslcy]

santiagosvarcla‌:

@santi_go: YO allow me to GROW. to CHANGE into a beautiful butterfly. I’m tryna become cameron though for my girl @malloryrosario

@batryman: @santi_go that just doesn’t sound realistic to me 🤷🏼‍♀️

[santiagosvarcla]

@santi_go: @batryman you sound like a hater but s’all good, baby. watch me thriveeee. ..ngl you probably right tho lmao

[ryankingslcy]

santiagosvarcla‌:

@santi_go: was watching love is blind during a break from Econ and that love between Lauren and Cameron…I’m not gonna lie…The girl next to me caught me tearing. #realmencry

@batryman: @santi_go too bad you’re a total barnett meets damian 😗

[santiagosvarcla]

@santi_go: YO allow me to GROW. to CHANGE into a beautiful butterfly. I’m tryna become cameron though for my girl @malloryrosario

[santiagosvarcla]

hey I’ve been mobile all day and basically all week because I’ve just been out of it but like this if y’all want a starter when I leave my current state — just let me know which charrie

[santiagosvarcla]

@santi_go: was watching love is blind during a break from Econ and that love between Lauren and Cameron...I’m not gonna lie...The girl next to me caught me tearing. #realmencry

[anniewats-deactivated20200324]

who are you seeing?

genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist @santiagosvarclanoi’m totally kidding, no one at me, i don’t want to see you in my mentionsi’m seeing @anthonycamden

[santiagosvarcla]

@santi_go: take my dick out your mouths.

[santiagosvarcla]

@santi_go: so y'all just gonna hype up a fight like that and end it with

@anniebaby: @santi_go fight what's ther to fight abt? 🤨

@santi_go: @anniebaby i don't know annie you do you girl live your life.

[santiagosvarcla]

@santi_go: so y'all just gonna hype up a fight like that and end it with

@klydecalls: smdh wasted my precious time and no fight? g2g

@santi_go: @klydecalls bruhh disappointing https://media.giphy.com/media/WrP4rFrWxu4IE/giphy.gif

[santiagosvarcla]

@santi_go: so y'all just gonna hype up a fight like that and end it with

[santiagosvarcla]

malloryrosario‌:

having her hands clasped together, the girl was tempted to just say forget it and walk away. especially when she shivered. two mistakes have been made today. first, her rushing out the door for class when it was already cancelled and second, walking out in just a tank top and shorts. however, before she could take a step to go anywhere, she already heard his voice and thought it was too late to leave now. mallory smiled a little before responding. “heh. i guess i didn’t want to entice myself to have any food. it’s like eating scraps in a dog’s house.” it was her attempt to keep things light, but felt more like a failure. shrugging, she stood up straight and looked him in the eyes. it didn’t last though as she glanced away and took a step back. “i didn’t want your brothers to hear our conversation. that’s all.” inhaling deeply, she crossed her arms while turning her head away. “i like you, okay? not the ‘i like you as a friend’ or ‘i just like having sex with you’ kind of like. i really like you and i wanted to say that at the valentine’s day ball, but… i couldn’t. it just didn’t feel right after you dealing with yasmin and i didn’t want to give you more to deal with and i was enjoying our dance that i didn’t want to ruin that either and…” she sighed, shaking her head. “i don’t know if this is just a mistake, telling you, but now it’s said and done, so i’ll just… go.” her eyes glanced back at him as she bit her bottom lip. “i hope you have a good night, santi.”

i didn’t want your brothers to hear our conversation. that’s all. that response left him looking at her eyebrow arched, hand in his hoodie’s pockets. “okay...” he started, “what do you want to talk about?”  as she confessed her feelings for him, santiago didn’t react, he just looked at her, listening until she gave the slightest idea that she was finished. it just didn’t feel right after you dealing with yasmin and i didn’t want to give you more to deal, the young man rubbed the back of his neck, a low laugh falling from his lips, not at her but rather at the fact that he wasn’t sure there was anything left to deal with yasmin. “why would it be a mistake?” he wanted to take that back as soon as he said it, sure that it was his attitude towards relationship and life in general that would cause her to think like that. “yas...” he started, “wait..” the young man released a breath he didn’t know he was holding, looking ahead towards the parking lot rather than at her. “listen, i’m...” not a good guy? not the greatest at relationships? don’t know how to actually fucking do this?  “give me time, yeah?” he swallowed, “it’s not because of yasmin.. it’s not because of anyone else...” he admitted, “i just...” he liked her too, he hated to admit it but he liked her too, it wasn’t just the back and forth banter between them, it was everything else that came with being her.  “it’s not a mistake...i just.. i want to be the kind of guy that deserves you and i don’t think i’m there now.” 

[santiagosvarcla]

valmontero‌:

it was her third attempt – third – at recalling santiago’s number. she bit her lower lip, her forehead puckering in concentration as her fingernails clicked against each individual digit. the automated voice invaded her eardrum, delivering the warning that she had become accustomed to during her brief run-in with the law: ‘your call will be recorded.’ and then, the moment of truth arrived as a burst of static gave way to a series of three rings. as she heard the familiar voice on the other end of the line, valencia beamed, relief draining the tension that had pooled in her muscles. “santi!” she chirped, eagerly bouncing on the balls of her feet at the mere proposition of conversing with a friend in lieu of an interrogator. “quiero que me hagas un favor y ven a recogerme.” her request was delivered in a straightforward, guileless tone, as if she anticipated no objections from him. while attempting to fork her fingers through the tangled mess of ringlets atop her head, a bout of self-consciousness settled over her, and she abruptly found herself pulling the fabric of max’s loaner t-shirt away from her body, wishing to strip it off, along with the other remnants of the previous forty-eight hours. “y … bring me something to change into, vale? nothing fancy – just grab one of your t-shirts or hoodies, por favor.” // @santiagosvarcla

   he waited, he waited a while for her phone call -- knowing or rather hoping that she’d call him. santiago didn’t have a sister, hell, he barely had a family but valencia was the closest thing to that. regardless of the friends and people they hung out with now, valencia was his sister, no blood relation actually needed for him to be able to call her that. somewhere between staring at his phone and staring at the clock after indoor soccer practice he fell asleep, missing the prior phone calls but managing to wake-up for the last. a relieved sigh fell from his lips as he heard her voice. “carajo, cari..” he started, unsure of whether it was the right time to tease but also know that if he wanted to bust her balls, she’d bust his right back.    he stopped himself, “vale,  te veo pontro..” he assured her, doing exactly as she said. shoving a hoodie and some sweats into his duffel bag and quickly leaving the house. the man jumped in his jeep quickly driving to the prison, going at least 10 or 15 past the speed limit until getting there. he easily parked, rushing inside and letting the officers at the front desk know that he was there to pick up valencia montero. he waited for a few minutes, watched as the cops came behind her and opened the door for her. santiagos hands were buried in his pocket, a sigh falling from his lips as brown hues found hers. he whistled, shaking his head, “pero que mona...” the man shook his head, heading to her and wrapping his arms around her before handing her the duffel bag. “i brought the clothes you wanted. go on and change, i’ll be right outside waiting..” 

[santiagosvarcla]

malloryrosario‌:

‹ @santiagosvarcla​ / santiago v. ›

pacing around a parking lot, the girl had her hands moving constantly. whether it was rubbing her arms or running fingers through her air. everything about this idea just said anxiety. she didn’t even have a plan on how to go about this. she even assumed she wasn’t going to ever tell him, but it was better than holding all her thoughts in her head and pretending like she didn’t care. at least this way, with whatever happens, she could move on. letting out a heavy sigh, the girl scratched the back of her head before eventually leaning against her car and just letting her foot tap against ground as she waited patiently after texting where to meet her. being outside in this cold weather in pajamas only also sucked.

receiving the text from mallory raised a sense of curiosity inside of santiago. he read it, starting at it for a while before deciding to throw his hoodie on and head outside towards the parking lot. “well, shit...” he chuckled, “the gossip blog was right, i’m probably walking straight to my death..” the young man muttered to himself, walking out of his frat house in the cold before rubbing his hands together and shoving them in his pockets. he walked a few feet towards the back parking lot, an eyebrow arched as the young woman came into view. “why here?” he shouted towards hear, inching closer. “you could have just came inside, you know that right?” a chuckle fell from his lips, “you eat my food but can’t come in my house?”

[johnparri]

CHARLES MELTON in The Sun Is Also a Star (Ry Russo-Young, 2019).

[santiagosvarcla]

@santi_go: ...she belongs to the streets now

@santi_go:https://media3.giphy.com/media/3osBLA53AVzn746dXi/giphy.gif