the old, ancient soul sits quietly in the bedroom of the safehouse that resides in atlas, in control of this body for the first time since the incident with jinn. the other two souls that reside in the young boy’s body merely rest, ozpin thankful, && oscar anxious. it’s rare for ozma to come out willingly, so the youngest soul is rather worried && curious.
ozma fixes his orange gloves, something to keep him busy, but the anxiety that he himself is feeling –or so he thinks– keeps rising, && he’s struggling to keep it all together. he thinks about everything he has gone through, && he thinks about how many times he failed && lost everything, including himself. his heart aches in his chest && tears begin to well in jade && gold hues.
his emotions cause oscar to borrow his magic && his aura, manifesting a translucent version of himself. the young boy looks sad as he gazes upon ozma, && just like in the vision with jinn, he wants nothing more than to reach out && help him.
oscar takes a few steps && sits beside ozma. he stays quiet for a moment, then takes a deep breath, looking to the ancient soul.
“ what’s wrong ? ” he asks simply, but he knows the question is loaded.
ozma stares at his hands, then he deflates, centuries upon centuries of weight bringing him down. he looks much older, && it’s scary to see so much age on oscar’s own face.
“ who am i ? ” the warrior asks, voice strained.
oscar bites his lip, “ what do you mean ? ” he asks in confusion.
ozma swallows thickly, then buries his head in his hands. “ who am i ? who am i meant to be ? i wasn’t lying when i said i was the combination of every soul i reincarnate with. i’m… i try to think about my life, i try to separate myself from the souls i bond with, i try to dissect what is my life && my experiences, but… i can never get it right. everything i do, everything we do, it all melts together, it all fuses together. i… i don’t know who i am anymore, i barely even remember my life before all this, i barely remember the life before i met her. if it weren’t for jinn, i definitely wouldn’t remember that life at all. i… i don’t know who i am. ” his breath catches && he struggles, tears rolling down tanned, freckled cheeks. “ i’m fighting for this world, but how can i when i’m fading away with every death && rebirth ? ”
oscar feels his heart break, “ but… i thought i was the one that would fade… that’s what everyone made it seem like. ” he admits, ozma shaking his head sadly.
“ no, oscar… you’re not the one that will disappear. the souls that i’m reborn with, every time we die, they move on, some with my experiences, but most with their own. you are safe, oscar, if we were to die in this body, you would move on peacefully && still as yourself. ” he takes a shuddered breath, a hand coming up to scrub his tears away.
oscar watches him, guilt swelling in his chest, but also white-hot fury. ozma doesn’t deserve this, ozma doesn’t deserve to suffer. ozma deserves to be free, he deserves to rest, && he deserves to be happy.
“ i don’t know what to do, i don’t know how to feel or what to think. my experiences, my thoughts, my wants, i don’t even know if they’re truly mine. i… i don’t know where i start && end. i’m… i’m scared && confused. ” ozma confesses, hands clenching.
oscar’s mirror his, && he stares at the floor. “ i get it, you’ve been doing this for thousands of years, it makes sense that you feel this way. i think… i think there’s still a lot of the original you in there, it’s just hard to see with all the souls you bonded with. the vision showed us what you were before all this && that paints the picture for us. you were a warrior, a soldier, you fought for what was right. that guided you before, && it’s still guiding you. you’re not doing this just because the god of light made you, or because you thought you had a chance at love again. a deeper part of you accepted because it was the right thing to do, it was a noble cause. you wanted to save the world. you started out as a hero, it only makes sense that you took a task meant for heroes. it’s rough, i get that, especially when humans are flawed && imperfect, especially when she’s still around, but with the right people, you can do the task that you were meant for. ” he shares his insight, then he offers a small smile. “ i know it’s hard, oz, but… the other oz && i are here for you. the god of light said you’ll never be alone, && he was right. you aren’t alone. we’ll support you, && like now, if you get stuck, we’ll be here to help you.” he promises, his smile growing, his own eyes glittering with unshed tears.
ozma looks up at the young soul, amazed at how wise he sounds for a fourteen year old, && for the first time in gods know how long, he smiles. he nods; he’s still struggling with his identity, he’s still struggling with his existence, but oscar’s words help lessen the weight, && that gives him the strength to continue.
oscar’s right, he can do this. they can do this.
“ thank you, oscar. ”
snowghoul
blakekathryn
romaincrisis
andulkaphoto
titsay
gummygunk
stormborns
