Minor Subject
I love doing digital art, writing prose, and listening to music. I am currently working on a story, and with summer break at my university approaching, I have been spending more time on my hobbies.
Recently, a lot of unexpected things have happened. One of the biggest decisions I made was dropping one of my minor subjects. It was not an easy choice. I did not drop it because I was too weak to face the professor; I dropped it because I was exhausted.
I felt drained for weeks while preparing for his project. The requirements were often unclear, and many tasks felt disguised as if we were expected to know they would count toward our grades without being properly informed. On top of that, the professor was frequently angry and frustrated, which created a stressful environment. Every time we thought we had completed something, another task would be added.
What drained me the most was our sustainability project. My group decided to create outfits using recycled materials. I spent a lot of time helping my groupmates finish their dresses and outfits, but when I looked at my own, I realized it was not turning out well. I felt that it would not meet the standards of our strict professor.
What made things worse was that the professor specifically instructed us not to use spray paint, yet my group leader still sprayed my shirt. At that point, I felt defeated. I no longer wanted to wear the outfit. I no longer wanted to continue forcing myself through something that had become emotionally exhausting. Eventually, I reached my limit and decided to let it go. I told myself, āFine. I won't wear it, and I will just drop the subject.ā
Afterward, I heard that some of my blockmates were talking about me and my friend, who also dropped the subject. They called us āidiotsā behind our backs. Maybe they did not understand why we made that decision, but it was our choice. They did not experience what we went through or how exhausted we felt.
The truth is that I am simply tired. Tired of constantly pushing myself in an academic system that often feels overwhelming. Getting burned out should not be something people dismiss or look down on. Sometimes, stepping away is not a sign of weaknessāit is a decision made to protect yourself when you know you have already reached your limit.
Sometimes people will never understand how tired you were. Aside from academic pressure there's also a personal matter that we currently facing and i hope people stop commenting about a decision we made for ourselves. After all when i made a decision i didn't even think about them so why they care?.
But the important now is atleast i get my mental and emotional self a break from stressful environment. And someday I'll gonna take that subject again more stronger and ready.