Been a while since I posted here, however I want to be able to gather some thoughts to share that are longer than post limits. So hi everyone! Hope you're well!
First things first: I'm still wanting to create my full play let's plays and streams. I've got a lot of plans, a lot of ideas, but time balancing with a full time job personal time and life events has been rough.
March felt really good. I had a theme, I was able to balance everything and I made Affiliate on Twitch! But as travel increases throughout the year, scheduling changes, and everything else, not only have I not been able to maintain the schedule I want (especially on YouTube uploads), I also feel I've dropped the ball on maintain some friendships and connections, and for that I am sincerely sorry.
I feel guilty, as I feel any actions for the channels are self-absorbed, and add on top personal game time, I feel like I'm letting everyone down. I work a full time job (which I am extremely thankful for), so my off time gets split between family time, house maintenance, personal game time, and channel work. Channel work then has to get split between live streams, updates for backend, development/implementation of new features, recording/editing/uploads, and clip/VOD management - these have some dependencies built in too, which if I fall behind on, also makes it hard to keep a schedule. I know there are some aspects that could be managed better by me for time, but sometimes it just feels overwhelming. And then when I do have a "free day", I tend to use it to wind down instead of the backend work - maybe that's just a sign of burnout. Thing is though, keeping up with the channels and a schedule has always had a positive impact, because that momentum goes into everything else and I feel caught up with everything. Plus I feel like I'm making progress, since the channels goals are to get me to complete games, instead of leaving things incomplete all the time.
I'm rambling and I don't think there's an answer. I'm going to continue to try my best and set goals, because it's important to have things to look to and push myself forward. But I also need to be better about reaching out, so this yeary goal is to make sure friends get cookie boxes for the holidays again. I need to set myself offline goals too, as if every goal I have is tied to the channel, I'm always going to feel like I'm doing the wrong thing. So I'm going to start now. I have some big plans for next year for the channels, but I need to make sure the channels are functional for those to have an impact. Amidst all this, I also need to make sure I'm in a good place offline too. Here's to better habits going forward.
TLDR: I'm sorry. Balancing time has been a struggle, and I'm still trying to figure it out. The channels aren't abandoned, just confused.
