who says i can't?

A dumb blog run by a dumb gal

[dovv]

that dude was probably pissed when he drove his chevy all the way to the levy and it was dry 😑

[yeoja]

why is lotion so annoying to apply i want to be soft and smooth but this is too much

[theemotionmachine]

[cyberbullyinc]

[rslashrats]

[gimbledim]

[in an Australian accent] “Okay so, story time, I have this little mouse that I named Billy Bob that’s been living in my pantry, he’s been there for months. Um, today I heard him squeaking in the pantry so I went and looked and guess what- he got his head stuck in a rigatoni~”

[memeclassheroes]

[my-darling-boy]

So at work there is a soda delivery guy who comes in almost everyday to restock and though we’ve barely said a word to each other, we definitely Know Of each other. Well this morning I finally got a shift where I could sleep in but my dad was like Hey the cable guy is coming at 7 to replace the cable boxes and I was like alright whatever I’ll just sleep in but forgot there was a cable box in my room. So it’s 7 in the morning I vaguely hear my dad let the cable guy into my room to just swap the box and I wake up to see??? Soda Delivery Guy???? in my room???? Turns out his second job is working cable but wow here Soda Man is standing in my doorway and I’m wrapped up in a pink bunny blanket surrounded by stuffed animals like

[graceofgosh]

you should go to the hospital 0:

we dont do that in america

[fluentisonus]

oh to be an ambiguously gendered little personification of winter in a roman mosaic

[fluentisonus]

ideal self

[tiktoksgay]

[elodieunderglass]

Oh the picture of it

[loonyblobs]

[sandmandaddy69]

[pdfbabe]

babygirl i'm deficient in vitamins scientists haven't even discovered yet

[holisticdirkmuppet]

@dont-offend-the-bees fucking ending me in their tags

[epilepticsaints]

[titkoks]

[rubythecrimsonwriter]

I think the funniest story I have of Lowe's is when I was doing returns. I can't remember what this contractor was returning but it was either awkward or heavy (or both) so I was helping him get it off or out of his cart. He's got his phone pinned between his face and his shoulder and he's arguing with someone, either another contractor or the person he's contracted to, something about windows, so he's fairly distracted, right?

Our hands wound up brushing and all of a sudden I've got his undivided attention and he just blurts out, "oh fuck your hands are soft!" And then looks like he wishes he could shove those words right back into his mouth, and before I can even scramble to come up with a response, his face twisted into like a very deadpan mocking face and he said, "does it SOUND like I'm talking to you? Are we within hands touching distance? Oh God I hope so, so you can feel how soft THESE hands aren't."

[dankmemeuniversity]

[localtiktoks]

Me trying to find a club penguin boyfriend at 6pm on a school night