FAILURE? Amy exorcised? What are you talking about, hah. Take your pills, watch the shadows, and remember- Gary Loves You.
P.S. If any of our brothers and sisters continue on the topic, let me meet with them. I will assuage these fears.
(( OOC : Hello! Welcome to my blog! I play as Gary Miller here. I write him operating off the assumption the best ending in Ch 3. played out. Gary is depicted as Human as a punishment on the blog, though Iâm not sure how long he will be.
Feel free to poke using any characters! May take M!As if itâs funny.
General Tags
#gary loves you â posts
#unspeakable â ooc
#satani vitae â interaction
#pandemonium regnat â reblogs
#no comment â shitposts
#the offering â garyjohn
Character Tags
#priest of blue - John Ward
#order of buer - JLY! John Ward
#priest of ash - Thomas (AU)
#priest of gray - Garcia
#priest of red - JLY!Gary
#father of fallen - Isaac Jones (OC)
#demon of mirror - Mirror Demon
#demon of seals - Alu
#trinity of profane - Amy Martin
(Also kind of an intro postâŚ? This AU is one iâll be using for this account đŤś)
âCorpus Damnaturâ translates roughly to âThe body is damnedâ in Latin.
This isnât going to be entirely lore accurate to the game, but initially it follows the canon / âgoodâ ending of Faith up until the apartment fight between Alu/Lisa and John.
Iâll put content warnings here for: Mental Health related topics (such as suicide, self harming, etc), Cannibalism, General Horror themes, Death, Substance Abuse(?)
If that doesnât bother you, feel free to continue reading!
This is not at all finished and will definitely be edited and changed over time!
After everything that happens in the previous chapters (Amy, Michael, The church, etc), John is emotionally and physically drained by the time he reaches Lisaâs apartment. Obviously in canon it depends what you do but your supposed to not let Alu possess John / kill Lisa to get the good / canon ending, in this AU the complete opposite happens. John attempts the rite, but his faith (in himself and God) falters. Alu seizes the moment and overtakes Johnâs body, immediately attacking Lisa. John fights for control over his body leaving Lisa severely injured and in critical condition but alive. When John does finally come into his own body he realises heâs staring down at Lisaâs motionless body, Alu once again takes that moment to start whispering to John: âLook what you did. You fought me, and she paid the price.â So from that part in the story, John fully believes that Lisa died and that he had killed her. After these events, John continues with the canon ending and attempts to stop Gary. It does not work entirely in his favour and he ends up back in the psychiatric hospital, this time itâs nearly a full year until he gets out. However, he had managed to successfully push the profane sabbath back.
From the fight onward, John essentially becomes Aluâs unwilling host.
- Possession comes in waves, often when John is tired or emotionally vulnerable. Itâs usually when he is weakest especially in his faith.
- Even when Alu isnât possessing him, he hears his voice quite frequently. Aluâs voice is there usually to tempt or taunt John.
- Alu (so far) has never been fully expelled from Johnâs body since the possession par from the few times Alu left willingly (often only for short amounts of time, often during his psychiatric stays.) No amount of holy water, prayers or exorcisms have helped. Itâs gone beyond simple possession, the way iâd describe it is a sort of parasitic coexistence.
- Alu is not omnipresent, he comes and goes as he wishes. This keeps John on his toes a lot, always dreading the demons return.
This gets its own entire section because I (unironically) wrote quite a bit for it
- Alu temporarily retreats, finding himself incredibly bored by the constant monitoring and sterile environment.
- John is misdiagnosed. Whilst the doctors did note his schizophrenia, they ignored every other problem he has (noted somewhere else in this post). John was medicated into a stupor, ignored, and mocked whenever he mentioned demonic influences/possession.
- Despite what he endured whilst there, John considers going back. Itâs a prison to him but he at least knows that heâs somewhat safe there, unlike the outside world where Alu has constant access to him.
- Whilst there, John wrote feverishly in journals provided by the staff. Non of it makes sense unless held up to a mirror, heâd written backwards. (A reference to the mirror demon which often also plagues him in this AU)
Johnâs appearance is one of the most recognisable signs that he has been possessed (as Alu has gotten rather good at mimicking Johnâs mannerisms and ways of speaking).
When possessed, Johnâs appearance changes:
- His eyes shift into something that resembles goat eyes
- All of his teeth sharpen (most prominently his canines)
- His fingernails blacken and become claw-like
- Occasionally, his body will warp and contort into something vaguely represents a beast (legs bending backward, spine cracking/protruding, neck lengthening)
When not possessed, his appearance does occasionally differ:
- A muzzle is usually worn (when Aluâs influence is heightened or if heâs around people aware of what Alu is doing to him), itâs his only true defence against what Alu makes him do. He wears it to keep others safe from himself.
- Blood somehow always finds its way onto him whether itâs the remnants of an animal (or worse) or simply his own.
Outside of Aluâs influence, John is a troubled man. He consistently neglects his mental health problems under the impression that if he ignores them theyâll magically fix themselves (not a good mindset to have, might I add). To combat his problems, John puts on a front especially at Church (which he still attends as much as physically possible, Alu has less of a chokehold on him there). He tries his best to help those in need and aid those who reach out to him, he wouldnât deny someone help unless he physically couldnât.
The main problems John deals with (outside of Alu) are:
Alu has not caused these problems, but his presence often amplifies them leading John to strictly blame him for them and argue that he is the cause of them. John also uses this as an excuse as to not return to the psychiatric ward despite being sent back over twice prior to his first admission. How he keeps getting out is an absolute mystery to everyone (including himself, he theorises itâs Aluâs doings.)
- Father Garcia and John still have contact but their relationship is very strained due to John believing he had killed Lisa and Garcia not being there for him.
- John has a strong passion for knitting. Heâs a dedicated member of a local knitting group made up of five older ladies, himself, and a younger member of his congregation named Grimm. He first spoke with Grimm after a Sunday service, learning they were passionate about art, photography, and knitting. They had admitted theyâd drawn him before, John was deeply flattered by the gesture. Grimm later invited him to join their knitting group, and John has been attending ever since. He finds the act of knitting incredibly soothing, the steady rhythm of it helps quiet his mind and gives him something else to focus on. He often knits gifts for the younger children in his congregation, never asking for anything in return. He enjoys crafting small yarn dolls of saints, Jesus, and the Virgin Mary.
- As well as being an avid knitter, he is also a big fan of birdwatching and photography! He often looks out for birds that remind him of Ezriel as well as spends time with Grimm trying to find good spots to take photos and watch the birds. He thoroughly enjoys this and sometimes (usually when Aluâs been acting up) sits by the windows for hours in hopes of seeing pretty birds fly overhead.
You need to be mentally ill. Beyond salvation. Can you do this? Also, work on making really sad eyes. Consider looking through windows as a hobby. Theyll love you.
⌠Pff. Certainly not you. But I know it to be true. I am hardly stupid. You tend to be like a little cat, bringing me dead things because you think Iâm incompetent.
You need to be mentally ill. Beyond salvation. Can you do this? Also, work on making really sad eyes. Consider looking through windows as a hobby. Theyll love you.
⌠Pff. Certainly not you. But I know it to be true. I am hardly stupid. You tend to be like a little cat, bringing me dead things because you think Iâm incompetent.
You need to be mentally ill. Beyond salvation. Can you do this? Also, work on making really sad eyes. Consider looking through windows as a hobby. Theyll love you.
⌠Pff. Certainly not you. But I know it to be true. I am hardly stupid. You tend to be like a little cat, bringing me dead things because you think Iâm incompetent.
You need to be mentally ill. Beyond salvation. Can you do this? Also, work on making really sad eyes. Consider looking through windows as a hobby. Theyll love you.
⌠Pff. Certainly not you. But I know it to be true. I am hardly stupid. You tend to be like a little cat, bringing me dead things because you think I happen to becompetent.
You need to be mentally ill. Beyond salvation. Can you do this? Also, work on making really sad eyes. Consider looking through windows as a hobby. Theyll love you.
You need to be mentally ill. Beyond salvation. Can you do this? Also, work on making really sad eyes. Consider looking through windows as a hobby. Theyll love you.
Whatâs your relationship with tom like? and who even is he?
Ah, Thomas Ward⌠a priest for hell itself. Iâd like to think Iâm amicable with him. My biggest success story yet, though he certainly wouldnât tell it that way.
He isnât mine, Hells no, but Iâd like to think he is. With the seal of Astaroth emblazoned upon his chest, who else would he belong to?
âŚ
Other than every other demon who left their mark upon himâŚ.
Either way! We work together, in a ways. He sends me sinners, I send him failures. I shelter him when he requests it.
Me and the priest donât argue. He bashes my head in with a rock and I walk it off like a man.
Gary Miller becomes a normal human being just like you and me.
Gary Miller re-entered the world with a desperate gasp for air. That would have been the first sign something was wrong.
One of his hands gripped his own face with a deadly grasp, like it wanted to crush his own skull. He could only peek between his fingers.
Between hisâŚ
John. Where was the priest? He couldnât tell, and his head throbbed something nasty. Where was he. John couldnât have gotten away from him, not again.
He peeled his own hand away. Completely coated in blood.
John hadâŚ
Miriam. Malphas. Amy.
Antichrist.
His breathing started up rapidly, thoughts racing. Failure. Failure. Failure. Failure. Couldnât keep one girl, couldnât subdue one man. Hardly a demon.
His own skull. The pressure was unbearable. Through the portal, a dark place, brimstone and hellfire, punishment. Atonement.
The Antichrist made him pay.
Gary let out some shuddering gasp and held onto his arms tightly. He was covered in blood, head to toe. Miriam, Miriamâs blood. Was he dead? Where was the priest? Did he lose him? He couldnât have. After all this time, no, he couldnât have. So much work. Not after all this time, no. He put in so much effort. He tried so hard to catch that man. No. No, he couldnât have lost him.
He dug his nails into his arms and rocks back and forth, unable to settle the pacing thoughts. It didnât work. It was supposed to hurt enough he forgot about his thoughts. Why? Why? It wasnât fair.
Nails instead of claws answered the question. His nails were blunt, rounded. Lengthy, but⌠not sharp. He quickly tried chewing on them, a desperate bid to recover, only to find similarly blunted teeth.
No. No. No. This wasnât fair. This wasnât fair! He stumbled to his feet, nearly tripping over himself as he did. He recognized the place- his cabin? His cabin. But sun shine through the window. This wasnât the unseen realm. It couldnât have been.
He crashed and clattered, belongings falling to the ground as he tried and gave up trying to hold on to something for support until he found the mirror.
âŚ
His third eye was gone.
The tattoo didnât even show.
He stared into his own reflection, shades askew showing dull silvery eyes.
This was no punishment.
This was torture.
It was shameful, the first sob that slipped out, and then the rest came and he couldnât control the heaving of his chest or the hot and angry tears that fell, smearing the blood that covered him.
He didnât ever breathe, didnât ever fight the wallowing feeling that holed inside his chest. Now it was drowning him, twisting his guts in a way it shouldnât have ever happen.
It wasnât fair. It wasnât fair. It wasnât fucking fair. Stripped of divinity, then stripped of the profane, only left with skin that wasnât his. A stolen body, one he didnât ever consider something more than a toy.
They take. They take. They take. Thatâs all that ever happens to him. They take, he loses, he loses everything.
Miriam was dead. His mother was gone. It shouldnât have bothered him, he shouldnât have cared, but it only made him weep harder.
Flesh and blood and blood and blood and blood and blood. Thatâs all he was.
And now he had to stare at this reflection and pretend it was his. How could he, looking so⌠mortal? Even as he wiped at his blood covered forehead, he couldnât see his tattoo underneath.
He wasnât sure why he reached for his trident with shaky hands, only that it wasnât in reach and he had to search for it before stopping in front of his mirror again.
If he carved it right in, it would open back up.
He didnât expect how much it would hurt, his grip slipping as he cut himself in the wrong way. He couldnât even do it right. Even as he steeled and made it proper in the reflection, it didnât open.
It didnât work.
He stared down at the trident. Heâs impaled stronger on it. It wouldnât be hard. Go back to hell and give Morningstar a piece of his mindâŚ
But even as he brings his head back to slam down, he finds he canât do it.
He shouldnât have been afraid to die.
The metal launched into the glass, sending it everywhere on the cabinâs floor.
