i n e f f a b l e.

" you may feel that way ... "  " but that's not how we feel about YOU. " indie bak chang blog.  selective, private. icon by wasongo

[musxng]

                             …& i can’t help but feel like i’m SUFFOCATING in all of my                                                                     awful                                                                 A W F U L                                                                  mistakes.

[saudadc-blog]

Fou quietly makes herself comfortable in Bak's desk chair with her feet on the desk.

            “... why do you take such pleasure in annoying me.”

[saudadc-blog]

[ I EXIST. ]

[saudadc-blog]

You love Komui, and I think you always have. :^)

SEND MY MUSE “You love _____, and I think you always have” FOR THEIR REACTION.

          “... Wh-What-”

          “That’s absurd! As if anyone would like that stupid tree, let alone the great ME--”

[saudadc-blog]

“I’ve taken all I can take, now I’ve had enough.” hasuheishi :^)

            an audible inhale was his initial response; eyes of mercurial grey, azure ringed within their shocked depths, stared with silent horror upon the exorcist. “... of... of course you have,” he all-but whispered, unable to tear his gaze from the boy before him - the boy who’d had his innocence stripped from him from the moment of his rebirth. “... is there something i can do... to make this easier on you?”

[saudadc-blog]

[ SLIDES IN

I’M ALIVE

IT’S THE SMOL’S BIRTHDAY ]

[geborgcnheit-blog]

; fragility. [saudade.]

[saudadc-blog]

geborgcnheit:

     He forced his hands to uncurl, to smooth out against the fabric of his coat, forced them to steady by sheer willpower. There was a countenance he had to keep up, a facade of professionalism inherent to his position, and he needed to exercise control.

     The familiar movement caused a gut reaction of relief within him as he took a step back to evade the fist by reflex, the sight so utterly, comfortingly expected that for just a split second it alleviated some of his worries – up until the point when the crack resounded in the space between them. 

     It felt as if something far harsher than a fist had collided with his stomach, intent on and successful in winding him – dark eyes widened, his composure slipping as he automatically reached out to cradle the damaged limb only to pause at the last second, large hands hovering uselessly in midair. Frozen by the naked fear of seeing Bak literally fall apart, he found himself unable to feign nonchalance, his features darkened by deep concern and lingering traces of horror. 

     “… Bak-chan,” he uttered, his voice quiet and a little shaky under the weight of the shock he’d just experienced. “For the love of God, don’t move.”

            “... Ggh...”

            A roiling sort of nausea was twisting his stomach, wringing it out like a wet cloth as bile crept up his quivering esophagus. It took all of his willpower to withhold the urge to vomit, keeping his wavering gaze focused on the two hands nearby to his own - both unmarred by an atomic deterioration.

            A relief.

            “... Don’t... Call me that,” he strained out after a moment, slowly retracting his hand to rest it upon the blankets covering his damaged body. “Stupid tree...”

            Why aren’t you smiling anymore? Walker is alive and well. Smile, you stupid bastard - don’t let them see you waver.

[saudadc-blog]

whatateez:

              There is a light in darkness that the Order could never fathom or open their blindsided eyes to see, another side to story that they lacked the care to listen to. Noah’s children do not aim to overwhelm the world with an eternal darkness, but to eliminate those interfering with their goals. Anyone standing in their way will falter and wither like a rose in the desert, crimson droplets showering the grounds around them similar to the petals. Tyki will not allow him to get away, even if it means getting a glove dirtied with blood. Much to his own chagrin, but he will worry about that later.

                ❛  Any last requests?  ❜ He asks simply, wisps of dark energy bubbling in his palm in a call out to the teez through the gesture. Fingers outstretching, a butterfly materializes from within his sleeve, crawling over to his fingertips as it rested there, wings fluttering.  

                ❛  No, that would be quite rude. You seem to be a man of your word.  Don’t worry, it’ll be quick and painless.  ❜

            Last requests? What a laughable concept. He was Bak Chang, head of the Asian Branch, member of the Chang clan, and he wasn’t going to go down without a fight. He was going to die fighting the enemy, the death of  SOLDIER: to show the Exorcists they were not the only ones willing to risk their lives to protect the stability of life. [ willing to protect their FRIENDS: the family they got to choose in this forsaken world. ]

            “Guardian Deity!”

            A sharp canine tore into the pad of his thumb, his other hand bringing the spirit stone up as the droplet of crimson blood fell - and within an instant, Fou had emerged from the item, and Bak glared upon the Noah with nothing but true DEFIANCE.

            “No last requests, Noah,” he snarled, “but I’m not going to go down without a fight!”

[geborgcnheit-blog]

; fragility. [saudade.]

[saudadc-blog]

geborgcnheit:

     Komui stood there, his expression forcefully neutral yet betrayed by his hands, curled into faintly quivering fists by his side. He stood there, by the bedside of a treasured friend, a friend who had just barely made it out of an encounter with a level 3 alive, who was so fragile that the even the nurses seemed terrified to apply too much pressure with their gentle touches. He stood there, trying to comprehend what he was seeing – helpless, motionless beneath the crushing weight of his own guilt.

     I was the one who asked you to help him. If it hadn’t been for me, you would have never gotten into this position. this would have never happened to you.

     My fault.

     “… don’t be stupid, Bak-chan.” Words accompanied by a nonchalant smile, spoken too lightly. “It’s not like you to deem things involving yourself as not important~” 

            The blond certainly wasn’t dumb: he could see how the other’s hands shook, a clear sign of his internal conflict. There were few moments wherein Komui’s expression had betrayed any sort of negative emotion - other than all of the times that he had fought to protect the rights of the Exorcists housed within HQ. A feeling of twisting nausea coiled within his gut, causing his colourless lips to curl into a slight snarl of contempt. 

            “Of course I’m important, but this is a trivial matter!” He reached out, intent on ‘lightly’ punching the other scientist in the stomach--

            And grew ever paler at the sound emanating from his extended hand, as the fractures grew and threatened to break apart completely.

            “... Ah...”

[saudadc-blog]

[ do you call yourself a fuckin’ hurricane like me? // quick sketch of luc. ]

[saudadc-blog]

[ takes a deep breath.

please remember that issues people have with approaching others directly often stem from a past instance.

and that people who have trouble having confidence in themselves aren’t doing it for attention. ]

[saudadc-blog]

one of the most talented, kindest people I know. a real treasure. someone I love and admire. a ray of sunshine. hot tea on a cold day. comforting and sweet. precious and important. someone I am glad to have in my life. someone I hope to never lose.

reblog this if you want a LONG (or short) anonymous message saying what they think of you.

[ i’m j us t... w t f hflsagjklfd ;;;;;;; i dON’T EVEN KNOW WH AT TO SAY J UST THANK YOU OM  GG ;;;;; I’M SO EMOTIONAL FROM THIS MESSAGE WT F BLESS YOU FRIEND... ;; < 33333333 I LOVE YOU ]

[saudadc-blog]

fuck anon, i have volleyballs; okay so what's up with the beautiful and amazing lasi? well she is an amazing friend, she supports me and talks with me and we both, at least i super enjoy her presence and i really REALLY adore being able to talk, roleplay, plot and sin with her. i love lasi's art, it's getting better and better each time i see it. i love lasi, i love all about lasi, lasi the mother of sins and beautiful friend that i am proud to have. i love you tons tons and never change darling

reblog this if you want a LONG (or short) anonymous message saying what they think of you.

[ M E E N A MY DARLING SON... WTF... i enjoy your presence SO MUCH okay omg o s h talking with you is so wonderful every single time!! i love you fdagkfldsjlk you’re such a sweetheart and YOU!!! YOUR ART!! IS IMPROVING SO FAST I’M IN AWE BAB WTF..... WTF!!!!! you’re so innately talented and i’m so glad i got the chance to know you!!! ;VVV; < 33 ]

[saudadc-blog]

il-re-sangue:

@saudadc

        ┉▒░♛░▒┉

            ❝So are you ready to sit on me~?❞

            “... Set a boulder on you, yes.”

[saudadc-blog]

[reminder that I think that you~ Lasi~ are a hella cool friend that I enjoy seeing on my dash. I'm really happy that we became friends cause it feels like I won a small lottery everytime I could talk with you even for a little bit ouo. Also yer a bootiful cinnamon roll that's preshus and Ihas a lot more self confidence than you think you do.]

[ fdkslajklk ;;;;;; tha n k you so much cain omg... you just made my day jdklfds idk why you’re so nice to me or what i’ve done to deserve anything like this?? but cASUALLY KEEPS THIS MESSAGE FOREVER WTF.... THANK YOU ;; < 33333 ]

[abomasnow]

i will not apologize for being devastatingly beautiful

[saudadc-blog]

"Doctor Edgar, is that you?"

            Pain.

            Pain was all he felt, all he knew at the words and the sight before him: the denial died where it was born, settling with its poison in the pit of his stomach as nausea threatened to overwhelm his senses. Feigned hubris was cast aside in favour of unbridled emotion, shock pervading his now ghostly-pale visage as he remained rooted in place, gaze unable to leave the form standing only feet in front of him.

            “... N... No... I’m Bak... Bak Chang...”

            He was not Edgar. He swore he’d never be like his parents, never do the experiments they’d been a part of, never hurt someone like they had--

            “You... You’re...”

            Had Central really not let either of their ‘subjects’ rest?

            “Al...ma...?”

            God, I’m so sorry.