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PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH

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@savanaspeaks
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Yuliya Kucherenko on Instagram / Etsy
“dream job” bitch i don’t have one i don’t dream about being employed i dream about living in a cottage making soap and painting titties. capitalism is a nightmare
a concept: late night convo’s with someone that likes you as much as you like them.
When I was little my mom’s meatloaf was my favorite food. But ONLY her meatloaf. I didn’t like anyone else’s, and she told me that she would teach me how to make it when I was older. And when I was like 19? She finally taught me, but she told me never to tell anyone else and I was like weird but okay
Anyway, she was super fucking homophobic and abusive to me when I told her I was gay, so here’s the recipe
4-6 lbs of Hamburger/turkey burger
1 pk onion soup mix OR ranch mix
1 TBs ketchup
1 Tbs spicy brown mustard,
1 Tbs bbq sauce
1 Tbs steak sauce
1 egg
mix, shape into a loaf in a big pan, and bake at 350 for 2 hrs (maybe 2 and a half if you’re feeling dangerous)
You can get almost all of these ingredients at the dollar store, and have leftovers if it’s just you. The leftovers make great tacos if (taco seasoning is also like a dollar). Enjoy your revenge loaf
here's a mashed potato recipe from my homophobic mother that i swore to never share that would pair perfectly!
(6 servings)
-2lbs red potatoes
-1 cup butter (2 sticks)
-1 cup cream cheese (1 pack)
-Chives (optional)
-Salt & Pepper to taste
1. drop those bad boys (potatoes) in a big ol pot. U don't even have to chop them just wash them
2. boil til soft!
3. Drain
4. Mash (usually they're small enough you can use a fork if u don't have one of those squashers) until its a pretty chunky mix
5. add the other stuff. Keep mashing
I like my mashed potato consistancy more lumpy but its all up to you!! Peel the potatoes or keep them on, it literally makes the creamiest fluffiest mashed potatoes which she always served with the nastiest fuckin meatloaf
Now if anybody got some revenge rolls and revenge green bean casserole we'll get a full meal
Got room for desert? Cus my Grandma was just a generaly evil old hag who was abusive to my mum and my siblings also you guessed it since I came out I was not said hello to at christmas
She made pretty god Dampfnudeln (its like a sweet bread rool you eat hot and with vanilla sauce)
1. Put 300 gram flour into a bowl and make an indent in the middle
2.combine
20 gram yeast
1 tea sp. Brown sugar
3 tbsp milk
mix until smooth
3.mix into part of the flour but leave a big flour rim on the outside
4.set 30 gram of Butter on the flour rim and cover everything with a towel
let sit till you see bubbles in the dough
5. add
1/8 liter luke warm milk
30 gram Sugar
one pack of vanilla sugar
a pinch of salt
2 eggs
and knead the dough until smooth
6. put
1/8 luke warm milk
30 gram of Butter
1 pack of vanilla sugar
into a heat resistant glass bowl and let melt (the glass bowl is quite important)
7. Form about 12 dough rolls and put them into the milk
8. Cover with a lid (any lid will go it does not need to be sealed air tight)
Let bake in the pre heated oven at 200°C for about 30 minutes or until they start to get brown and fluffy
9. Serve with vanilla sauce or fresh fruit
Behold the Fuck You buffet
So, I never came out to my evil grandmother, for two reasons. One, my dad asked me please not to because he didn’t want to deal with her shit, and two, see “evil”. Not fucking worth it. I was glad she died before I got married.
These were her mama’s biscuits, and her mama was a mean old woman, too. I’ll spite ‘em both and post it for y’all.
Angel Biscuits 2 pkg. yeast 1 T. warm water 2 T. sugar 5 C. sifted flour 3 t. baking powder rounded 1 1/2 t. salt 1/2 t. baking soda rounded 1 C. shortening or oleo 2 C. buttermilk Dissolve yeast in water and sugar. Sift flour, baking powder, salt and soda into a large bowl. Cut in shortening. Add buttermilk and yeast mixture. Mix well. Turn dough out onto a floured board and knead 2 or 3 times. Roll dough out 1/2 inch thick. Cut biscuits. Let set 45 minutes to 1 hour to rise. Bake at 400F. for 12-15 minutes. Note: Dough may be stored in a plastic bag in the refrigerator until needed.
This is excellent.
this post is a true gift
me: *gets really sad and has an emotional breakdown*
me, ten minutes later: lmao that was so fuckin lame
I hate thinking
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Smiling against each other’s lips is it’s own kind of sweet intimacy