still a believer but i don't know why

[sawyer-harris]

biography | musings

basics.

character name: sawyer harris

age & dob: november 30th, 1996 (25)

gender identity & pronouns: female, she/her/hers

sexual orientation & relationship status: bisexual, single

residential area: the drive

occupation: freelance photographer & social media manager

length of time in vancouver: twenty five years

faceclaim: olivia holt

family.

mother: pam harris

father: arthur harris

siblings: zara harris (26), harlow harris (twin, 25), james harris (22)

biography.

Undetected in the early stages of Pam Harris’ third pregnancy, Sawyer Harris came into the world as a surprise. Just minutes after her brother, Harlow, was born, she made her appearance, much to the shock of everyone involved. Two more mouths to feed hadn’t exactly been the plan for Arthur and Pam, barely a year since the birth of their last child, but if it was anything the Harris’ were good at, it was adapting–whether it was to the growth of their family, or the breaking apart of it.

It was not so much that Sawyer didn’t have memories of a dad growing up than it was that when she thought about that role in her life, it was simply not Arthur that she pictured. Arthur hadn’t been the one to bandage and kiss scraped knees after failed attempts at riding a bike, nor was he sat front row at any recitals, plays, soccer games. In childhood fantasies of big fancy weddings, he was not the one she saw walking her down the aisle. No, when Sawyer thought about that space carved out in her heart, it was her oldest brother who filled it.

Not to say that this didn’t come with its own set of challenges. A true middle child to her core, Sawyer was definitely the more rebellious of her siblings; with three older ones and one younger, she did what she had to in order to get the attention she wanted, good or bad. She knew that her siblings were growing up, getting their own lives, and though she’d never admit it, the realization terrified her. They were all going to leave her behind, and then what would she have left?

So, she left first. Though the initial plan had been to stay local and attend UBC’s visual arts program after graduation, Sawyer managed a last minute application into a New York university, and packed up her bags. She’d show her siblings that she didn’t need them, that she was fully capable of taking care of herself.

This plan backfired. In just a year, she’d somehow flunked out of school, garnered a mountain of debt in the process and just about blown through all the money she’d saved to get out there in the first place. The thought of returning home to her family was an embarrassing one, an admission that she was incapable of taking care of herself like she wanted to prove she was, but just when Sawyer was getting ready to tuck her tail between her legs and return home to her family, she met Atlas Simms, a local musician. Somehow, she managed to snag a role as his band’s tour photographer and social media manager, and thoughts of returning home were quickly pushed away…

Until about six months ago, when Atlas decided that he needed a change of pace. A change of pace that had him heading to Vancouver, with an invitation extended towards anyone who wanted to join him. Though she’d visited home in her time away, it’d been years since Sawyer had occupied the same space as her siblings for more than a few weeks. While the thought of returning to them had once terrified her, she couldn’t deny that there was a large part of her life that felt empty without them in it. And so she took Atlas up on the offer, signing a year lease on her own apartment downtown before she could talk herself out of it. Now halfway through her lease, Sawyer is wrestling with the decision on what to do next: stay close to her family, or accept another touring job for the upcoming year that would take her away from them again.

wanted connections.

best friends from childhood, whether or not they’re still friends currently

clients for either her photography or social media management or both

current roommate(s) in the drive 

exes, either from her time in vancouver or perhaps someone she met while traveling

hookups, neighbors, regular friends, family friends, etc.

[sawyer-harris]

malhclmes​:

status: closed ( @sawyer-harris​ ) location: red cat records

Plucking a copy of Jeff Buckley’s Grace from the row of CDs he’s flipping through, Mal says suddenly to Sawyer beside him, “Yo, what’s the first album you ever bought? I’m feeling like mine mighta been Buckley, I’ve got this vivid memory of being in some random ass music store when I was nine or ten and stuffing a copy in my backpack.”

—

“Oh, easy. The Cheetah Girls.” Sawyer answered immediately, before her eyebrows furrowed, her memory playing tricks on her. “Or was it Jesse McCartney...you know what, I think it was Jesse. Body Language? Please. The chokehold that song had on me at thirteen...” Her head shook, returning back to her own CD browsing. “And he still could get it.”

[sawyer-harris]

harlow-harris​:

Harlow groaned, setting his cards down. “You’re just stupid lucky, Because that’s all this is, luck” He said, rolling his eyes. Sure, was his pride hurt a little? Yeah, but he also knew that he couldn’t exactly blame himself for anything in this situation. “Did you ever hit up Vegas or uh..what’s it’s called…Atlantic City when you were down in the States? I feel like you would have cleaned up there”

—

“This is, like, our fourth game of Uno, Harlow.” And was Sawyer only winning because she kept stashing her extra cards underneath her on her seat and he’d yet to notice? Perhaps, but that was a secret she didn’t feel the need to reveal just yet...maybe after the fifth game. She collected the pile to start shuffling, unable to keep the grin off her lips as he asked about her time in the US. “Just Vegas, but I remember almost literally nothing from that trip and don’t think I did any gambling. Except I think a robot served me a drink...” Her eyebrows furrowed as she thought about it.

[sawyer-harris]

lucianaxalvarez​:

DREAM CREAM ICE CREAM SHOP w/ @vancitystarters

“Why did I think trying avocado ice cream was a good idea?”

—

“Because as a millennial, you’re conditioned to believe that anything involving avocado is supposed to be good.” Sawyer took a bite of her own ice cream (one scoop cookie dough, one scoop rocky road), nose scrunching in disgust as she glanced down at the green blob in Luciana’s cup. “I can’t even blame you. They got my ass last week with it too.” With a sigh, Sawyer nudged her cup in the space between them, a silent offering.

[draumas]

[sawyer-harris]

dec 🔥 sawyer

Dec: You did save my life, so I owe you a drink for that

Dec: I was shocked to see a friendly face and I happen to like your face so it was a win-win

Sawyer: well i do like free drinks...

Sawyer: and people who like my face...

Sawyer: and i might've also been shocked to see a friendly face

Sawyer: i mean if you see someone you know and don't swipe right on them, isn't there like kind of a special place for you in hell?

[some-celebrity-stuffs]

Happy Birthday Olivia Holt  

August 5

[sawyer-harris]

dec 🔥 sawyer

Dec: wounded, sawyer, absolutely gutted

Dec: I also didn't anticipate you swiping on me 😅

Sawyer: not as gutted as you could've been if that clown had caught up to you 🔪 🤡

Sawyer: yeah well to match you kinda had to swipe right on me too you know...

Sawyer: 🤨🤨🤨

[sawyer-harris]

“You lose. Again.” Sawyer glanced up from where she’d just laid down the last of her cards, eyebrows raised in her twin’s direction. “I’m literally not even trying anymore. How am I still beating you?”

@harlow-harris

[sawyer-harris]

dariusxanderson​:

“Spookier than hundreds of teenagers, which surprised me.” He chuckled, “I didn’t think that was a possible feat.” Darius admitted to her with his teasing tone. As she mentioned that she was supposed to be meeting someone, he realized that he very well might be interrupting. “Oh, shoot,” he blew air over his lips before shaking his head over her question. “No, I’m not here with anyone. I don’t want to interrupt though but I can keep you company until your -” he trailed off for a moment, was it a friend? A date? Sure, their date had gone over well, but he wasn’t sure where it had gone after that and if he was crossing any lines. “I don’t want to interrupt,” he settled with, giving the woman a small smile. 

—

“I find that hard to believe.” Sawyer laughed, fingers reaching up to brush some of her hair behind her ear. It was only as Darius began to speak that she realized how what she’d said had sounded, and her eyes were quick to grow wide. “Oh, no, it’s not--” Well, she wasn’t sure exactly what to explain this thing with Jace was, so the words died in her throat, even as her head continued to shake. “You’re not. Interrupting. I’m...happy to see you.” And she found that it was true, the smile on her lips genuine. Her phone was slipped into her back pocket. “...what do you say?” She gestured back to the entrance of the haunted maze. “Unless you’re, you know....scared.” Her eyebrows flashed teasingly.

[sawyer-harris]

heavenfms​:

…

Atlas had turned to drugs his entire life, following by example every time. His mother, the addict who somehow functioned, minimally, but still functioned in life. The road had an endless supply of anything he’d ever want and nobody would question or intervene. Now, he had enough money and connections to continue the cycle of drug use, it was easier now than ever. Cocaine was nothing in the grand scheme of all the things he had tried and it could keep his momentum going for as long as he needed.

“Huh?” He heard her voice in the midst of the haze in his head of his own doing, “oh, no worries,” he words spilled out before taking the other line for himself. No reason to let it go to waste.” It helped him focus and get the creativity flowing, he reasoned with himself, even if he would use even when he didn’t have to write music.He let out a chuckle, “I still think about that article that came out after I overdosed,” he looked over at her, “how it was tragic that everyone but me and one other person succumbed to the drugs. The article talked about my music though and how I was a genius with my guitar.” It was a bittersweet feeling, “and now, I strive to make my music that great.”

—

Sawyer doesn’t watch as the second line disappeared beneath Atlas, finding a sudden interest in her cuticles and keeping her attention on them until his words pull her back up. Her eyebrows furrow, knowing exactly what article he was referring to. “It is tragic, and you are a genius.” Sawyer rose from her spot on the couch to join Atlas on the floor, legs crossing underneath herself. “So, you’re in a slump. All the greats go through slumps...and you know more than anybody that the real great stuff takes time. Isn’t that why you left New York? To take a break and refocus? We haven’t even been gone that long. You’re still just...refocusing.” Her hand reached for his, squeezing gently. “Sounds are supposed to change, anyways. They’re supposed to grow as your audience does. Maybe it’s not that it’s not great. It’s just...different.” Her head tilted to the side. “Like, not to compare you to Taylor Swift, but...there’s a reason she’s still around, you know? She totally grew.”

[sawyer-harris]

zara--harris​:

.

A devious grin was the only response in the excitement of Sawyer’s shock for the moment until they remembered how they got in. “You need a better security system around here,” they sighed, a look of worry returning to their face, “a dog, some kind of motion detector or something to alert you when there’s someone in the apartment.” How that would go down with having roommates, they had no idea but they were determined to talk Sawyer into something. “I got into the window with no problem,” they insisted, raising their hands at any questions that would come from that statement, “and before you ask; I wanted to see if I could.” 

A grunt followed the kick that landed low on their leg but any offense was shrouded in the delight of being called ‘Z.’ It made them feel just the bit more settled in their place with Sawyer, a bit more settled with themselves. It was never lost on them that Zara was traditionally a girls name and sometimes they didn’t particularly feel like a girl at all. To be called something neutral like ‘Z’ was nice sometimes and it made them feel more like themselves now. The only outward appearance that anything had changed with their demeanor was a lowering of their shoulders into a more relaxed position and a satisfied smirk on their face. 

“Where did you go?” Ignoring the tone of voice about the time and the subsequent pulling of the blankets, they kicked off their shoes and brought their legs fully into the bed over the covers. They’re socks, a miss-matched pair that had the softest material, were wacky. One green with stripes, one orange with stripes as they’d come from a Halloween package from the store. Other than that, their outfit was what they might wear any other time of day except for the abundance of black that they had on to inspire them with a source of Wednesday Adams-esque. They usually wore a little more color than this. 

—

Initially, Zara’s cautionary warning was brushed off with a simple “mhm”, Sawyer’s eyes closed shut and on the brink of luring her back to sweet, uninterrupted unconsciousness...something about a dog, an alert system, wah wah wah...but just when her sister’s voice had started to fade into the background, Sawyer caught onto a key detail in the story, and her eyes blinked open once more. 

“I’m sorry, did you say the window?” Sawyer rolled onto her other side to face her sibling, who’d had no qualms, apparently, about making themselves quite comfortable in her bed. The annoyance that bubbled in her was only as awake as she was, and would die by the morning...later in the morning, that is, and on the condition that the other actually let her get any sleep by then. “Sounds like the only person I have to worry about guarding myself from is you.” Her eyes rolled, but there was no heat to her words, resigning herself to resting her head on Zara’s shoulder and settling into their side. “You literally have a key, weirdo. Use it.”

Even in the dimness of Sawyer’s bedroom, she could make out the vibrant neon of Zara’s socks, acting like a nightlight in the otherwise darkness. “Started at the hayride,” well, she supposed she’d started at Jace’s place before the hayride, but this detail went unspoken, “ended at Sully’s. So much beer.” Which she’d come to regret, she was sure, already feeling a slight churn of her stomach...though, that could’ve just been the sight of Zara’s socks. 

“I’d ask you where you went, but I don’t know what’s worse. The thought of you dressing to break into my apartment, or you taking those socks public.” Hypocritical maybe, coming from the woman who’d been dressed as Edna Mode for most of the night, but the right amount of harsh that a younger sister could get away with without being a total bitch...at least, she hoped. “Your hair looks cute like that.” Sawyer adds after a beat. Just in case.

[sawyer-harris]

maevewest​:

-

Had she been to a carnival before? Sure, the ones that offered a little less savory entertainment. Some that, right behind a ferris wheel, touted screaming matches for grown men to flip each other over on a wet patch of leaves. As far as she can see, this carnival is wholesome. Quiet, but not silent. Re-writing those not-so fond memories with someone as eager as Sawyer actually felt… nice. New, and overall just nice.

“I had a deep-fried Oreo before. That’s about as far as my knowledge of that goes,” she supplies, “but I know for sure we are not going on a ride with three screws loose. You should have led with ‘watch people try to fight scare actors’.” Because, above all else, that sounds entertaining. “I’ll let you choose. Teach me the right way to carnival.”

—

“You know, that’s more than I thought we were working with.” So, Maeve wasn’t a completely lost cause when it came to developing a love for all that the fair had to offer. Her responses are expected, conjured up in Sawyer’s own head when piecing together everything she’d grown to learn about the older woman in the last months of their friendship. Though, she’d figured she could’ve possibly enjoyed the thrill aspect of the gravity defying death traps that’d been thrown up in record timing, but if the haunted house was what started her on this journey, Sawyer could accept that too. 

A bright grin stretched on her lips, clearly pleased with herself as she reached for the woman’s hand to tug her along. “I’m thinking...foot long corndogs first, and then haunted house, and then I’m taking you to that game where you see how hard you can swing a hammer.” If there was going to be any opportunity to make a grown man cry, the strongman attraction would definitely be their best bet.

[sawyer-harris]

raleighrose​:

Roses pauses and tilts her head in consideration. “Actually, that’s a fucking fantastic idea. Though, I have to admit, in my mind at this very moment I am considering stealing it, but I’m sure that impulse will be gone in a week and by December I will have forgotten about it completely.” She attempts to regroup her train of thought. “No, actually, I was thinking you be Florence Pugh in the last ten minutes of Midsommar. Because you got that pouty mouth thing going on. We just cover you in fake flowers and bam, you’re good to go. Alternatively,  you, me and Sosh all get ahold of some of those culty-looking Swedish dresses and just run around in the streets wailing.”

—

Sawyer fell silent in the face of Rose’s explanation. Brown eyes blinked slowly--once, twice--and the gears of her mind could practically be heard in their turning. She might’ve even been tearing up, if the lump in her throat was anything to go by, though this is swallowed down a few moments later when Sawyer finds the ability to speak. “Rose...that might just be the nicest fucking thing anyone has ever said to me.” Her? Compared in any way to Florence Pugh and her academy award nominated pouty mouth? What more could she possibly strive to achieve? “Forget Meredith Blake. That is definitely at the top of the list for next year. Honestly, it is the list. I can’t believe I didn’t think of this.”

[sawyer-harris]

jacexevans​:

HIS PLACE BEFORE THE HAUNTED HAYRIDE w/ @sawyer-harris​

Jace should’ve been smarter about falling into the same ol’ bad habits he had in high school, not that Sawyer Harris was bad but it was the opposite. In fact, he was the worst fucking person in the world made this even worse especially since if there was one woman who deserved something so much better, it was Sawyer. Of course, he also thought Melina deserved better and he proved that in the matter of forty-five minutes. It was fucked up that he wasn’t just sleeping with Sawyer either. He was still fucking around with Halen too. He pants as he lays on the bed, lifting his eyes up towards the ceiling. “I forgot how good we were at that,” he murmurs, turning his head right in time for Sawyer to lean up and press her lips against his. He raises his hand up towards her jaw. “We keep this up and neither one of us are going anywhere.”

—

“You forgot since yesterday?” Breathless words huffed in a laugh past parted lips, Sawyer barely gives either of them a second to come down before closing the distance between them once more, lips seeking out Jace’s freely. A hum sounds from the back of her throat at the touch of his hand to her jaw, though it’s a touch meant to push her away rather than pull her in, much to her disappointment. She obliges with a sigh, rolling away to her respective side of his bed. “You say that like it’s a bad thing...” But considering it’d been Sawyer bugging him all of this time to come out with her for Halloween in the first place, she knew it wasn’t a good sign if he was the one having to keep them on course. Still, his bed was comfortable, and she could think of a few things they could do to entertain themselves... “Okay, okay.” Before she could allow her brain to wander any further, Sawyer forced herself from the bed, scanning the floor to locate the various articles of clothing that’d been strewn about. “October’s literally over and I haven’t had, like, a single caramel apple this entire time. That’s definitely a major problem.” Finding his shirt before her own, Sawyer tossed it back at him. “Did you ever get a costume?”

[sawyer-harris]

velvctcurtaincalls​:

…

Melina widened her eyes as she heard the war story from Sawyer, “those mazes are so risky,” she shook her head, “I think one year that happened to me. Unfortunately, my story is not that eventful,” she looked at her hand that was bandaged and wrapped to protect the delicate skin on her palm. “I just got really excited for my caramel apple and I grabbed it and burned myself,” she shrugged, “now I’m just sitting here to enjoy the apple in peace.” She paid with pain and goddamn it, she would enjoy the damn thing.

A smile appeared on her lips as she listened to her, “yeah, who knew a Halloween fest would cause so much damage,” she murmured looking around at the other bodies in the tent, “I think if there’s a need for a medical tent, there’s a problem.”

—

The pain of her hands and knees was almost enough to distract from the pain of sharing the tent with Melina. What was it that Jace had said at her apartment that night? Then I met Melina and the rest his history...history she still did not know the full extent of. History she did not know whether or not was in danger of repeating itself, the way it’d begun to for her. The guilt settled like rocks in her stomach, even if Sawyer knew, realistically, that she wasn’t doing anything wrong...at least not in regards to Melina. But the sinking feeling remained.

“I don’t blame you.” Sawyer managed a smile, head shaking. “Those things are, like, actual crack.” If not for the churning of her stomach, she might’ve even entertained grabbing one on the way out, but just the thought made the blonde’s mouth go dry. “And the corndogs. I burnt the shit out of my mouth before, but it was worth it.” Sawyer pressed her tongue to the roof of it, the brief flair of pain her silent punishment.

She remembered having liked Melina, when they were in high school together. Not the closest of friends, but when Sawyer looked back on her memories of the time, the other was there...until she wasn’t. Where had she gone? 

The laugh that left her was genuine, head nodding in agreement. “I think if you need to sign a waiver before you do something, there’s a problem.”

[sawyer-harris]

dariusxanderson​:

“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” he laughed, holding up his hands in a mock surrender. “I never said I needed an easy first date and for you to sing my praises,” he paused, a grin growing wide on his face, “though the second part wouldn’t be so bad,” again, he teased, hoping to keep the mood light with the blonde woman. “Oh, no,” he laughed again, louder this time at the thought of putting testimonials from his mother into his Tinder profile. “those guys,” Darius shook his head, “I can’t even imagine the kind of repair to their egos they need to do that.” He admitted to her, eyes growing wide, “Alright, alright,” he held up his hands again, “I was plannin’ to be on my best behavior anyway, first date and all,” he said, wagging his finger in her direction. 

—

“It sounded heavily implied.” Had she mentioned how nice of a smile he had? Infectious, really, the sight of it almost making Sawyer’s cheeks ache with one of her own. Already, the nerves that’d left her rattled on the way over were disappearing, and she hadn’t even taken a sip of the drink he’d ordered for her. “Oh yeah, those guys.” She mocked, as if suspicious that he were truly not one of them, but her laughter all but gave her away. “Good. Because I’m watching you.” Her eyes narrowed playfully as she pushed his wagging finger from the space between them. It was then that she reached for her drink, taking a small sip before setting it back down on the bar in front of her. “How new in town are we talking?”