Idolatry

A Sayaka Maizono Fanzine centering around the rise and fall of an idol; the bittersweet joy, underlying despair, and glimmer of hope found in her life.  https://sayakazine.carrd.co/

[sayakazine]

💙 FUNDRAISER UPDATE 💙

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Our shop remains open until then, so please be on the lookout for more updates!

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[shadowmatcha]

my spots for @toxicpineapple ‘s fic for @sayakazine ! check out the fic pretty pls with a cherry on top 💙💙

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

[sayakazine]

💙 FUNDRAISER CLOSED 💙

And with that, the show is now over! Thank you so, so much to everyone who shared and supported our fundraiser, we're so happy to deliver our contributors their rightfully-earned bundles!

See you soon for any leftover sales! Thank you!

[sayakazine]

💙 FUNDRAISER COUNTDOWN 💙

Every song must have an end; at every concert, the curtain closes. But it's not over just yet, so let's have fun with every second! Today is the last day to purchase from our fundraiser!

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[sayakazine]

💙 FUNDRAISER COUNTDOWN 💙

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[sayakazine]

💙 FUNDRAISER COUNTDOWN 💙

Our time on the stage together is nearly over, isn't it? But there's still time to play. And still time to grab any of our fundraiser merch items! Shop will close in just three days!

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[sayakazine]

💙 FUNDRAISER COUNTDOWN 💙

Our goal HAS BEEN REACHED! Thank you so, so much to all our loving Sayakers— you're all stars in our hearts! Our shop will remain open until July 21st, so if there's anything you wanted, now is your last chance!

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[sayakazine]

💙 FUNDRAISER COUNTDOWN 💙

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[sayakazine]

💙 FUNDRAISER COUNTDOWN 💙

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[magioftheseas]

Shades Of A Perfect Blue

Written for the @sayakazine Please check out the fundraiser!!! Summary: Sayaka just wanted to shine as an idol alongside her friends. She didn't want to be singled out. She definitely didn't want to be targeted. Warnings: Violence, Stalking, Murder, the dark side of idol culture Notes: This is one of my two fics posted for the Sayaka Zine! It's definitely more psychological thriller and horror-focused. As you can tell from the title, it's based off Perfect Blue! Fantastic movie. The fic's not quite as dark, but I hope it's still a suitably chilling read. There's focus on the Sayaka/Ayaka relationship and some minor references to Naezono too. But this is one of my favorite pieces written for a zine! Currently, the Sayaka Zine is running a fundraiser, so please show them support! Special thanks also to @softausterity for the illustrations, which are included in both the zine and the Ao3 version. Go check them out, too! Their illustration of the crane is soooooo good! ***Alternative Ao3 Link*** Commission? Donate?

It’s well into the night and once again, the only company she has are the gaggle of girls on the screen. But Sayaka wasn’t lonely at all.

Not when the girls sang so sweetly and in such perfect unison like a picturesque family. The kind that Sayaka always wanted to have. They followed one another’s lead, their smiles even brighter when regarding each other.

In that small, dark room, those girls were twinkling stars in Sayaka’s eyes.

Guiding stars down a path she very much wanted to follow.

Not even the otherwise encompassing darkness would deter her, not when she had that light to reach for and steal away between her fingers.

As long as she had that light, nothing else would drag her down.

–

The stage lights were much more blinding when you were under them, much to her delight.

From the cheering crowd to the manic grins on the other girls’ faces, that first performance was no doubt a roaring success.

“CHARM! CHARM!”

“Thank you, thank you!” Sayaka shouted. “Thank you so much, everyone! Give all your heart to CHARM!”

Just her waving her arms eagerly had the crowd shrieking in delight. Cries of her name, confessions of love and adulation, the promises of support—nothing at all like her father’s miserable drunken nights.

“CHARM! WE LOVE YOU SO MUCH, CHARM!”

Her heart swelled, and for once, it wasn’t with guilt.

She was still so giddy once they retreated backstage. She traded high fives and fist-bumps with the other girl and happily accepted a hug from Satomi. They were all bursting with energy and excitement, fingers so entwined and interlocked to the point of happily ignored pain.

“That went so great!”

“We killed it!”

“Everyone loves CHARM! They love us!”

Just like the crowd, there were squeals of delight from CHARM! All except for one member. A lone girl downing a bottle of water where the light strained to reach. Sayaka slipped away with surprising ease, and she practically skidded into the loner’s back.

Ayaka doesn’t even stumble, just chuckling lowly as she does. Without missing a beat, she took another water bottle and handed it over like a baton at the sports festival.

“We did good,” she said, and the light danced in her eyes even if her wry smile remained firm. “But it’s going to be much rougher down the road.”

“It’s fine,” Sayaka said, and the cap scraped against her palm as she cracked the bottle open. “We can do anything.”

Ayaka’s smile didn’t even twitch. Her head cocked to the side, casting part of her warm expression in shadow.

“Just don’t lose sight of yourself, Saya.” Ayaka took another sip. “That’s really easy to do in this line of business.” She finished off the rest. “Idols are expected to give all of themselves–but only the parts that people like. As for the rest…”

She tossed the bottle without looking, and it landed perfectly in the trash.

“Hold onto yourself like a lifeline,” she said with such seriousness. “No matter what happens, never lose yourself.”

Sayaka could only frown.

“What do you mean?”

Before Ayaka could answer, their manager’s booming voice cut through like lightning splitting the earth. Ayaka had quickly composed herself and dragged Sayaka to that booming voice, to that overbearing presence that Sayaka still somewhat feared.

Even though the manager was smiling, Sayaka still felt that way. It took everything to not flinch when those fingers branded themselves on each of the girls’ shoulders.

But Ayaka had held her hand like a lifeline, and that alone was enough to keep them afloat.

–

“Hey, everyone! How’s your heartbeat? Is it going crazy~?”

“Ayaka-chan! You should know better than to tease!”

Ayaka stuck out her tongue, making sure that it came with a cute sound so that the audience was aware. Even with the stuffiness of the sound booth, she acted natural and sweet.

(Seriously, it was almost suffocating.)

“Anyway!” Satomi exclaimed. “It’s that wonderful, heart-throbbing time! Kyaaa! You get what I mean, right?!”

“My heart won’t stop racing,” Sayaka murmured, and the other girls cheered.

“It’s time for Love Letters to CHARM!”

It was supposed to improve morale. The producers said that nothing touched a young idol’s heart more than the pure, earnest love of her fans.

(She knew a pure and earnest boy once. She wonders if he sent anything in. And she shouldn’t. She shouldn’t wonder about anything. To pick one out would be a betrayal to everyone else.)

Still, she wonders what types of letters she’ll receive. They’re already sorting the letters between the girls, and the girls are trading smirks and nods to signify who goes first.

“Satomi-chan, your smiling face gives me strength.” Satomi was beaming brighter than the sun. “Thank you so much!”

“Aya-chan, your strong eyes get me through the day.” Ayaka just laughed at that. “Oh, so just my eyes and not the rest of my face, hmm?”

“Ayaka-chan, you know what they mean! Don’t tease, haha!”

“Nyeh!”

The others were having fun. Ayaka especially was in a good mood. It all seemed light-hearted. Sincere, even.

But Sayaka still felt a twinge of…uncertainty.

Will everything really be okay?

Will we be fine?

How do the fans even see me? What do they see when they look at me?

“Saya,” Ayaka sing-songs, elbowing her. “Come on! Your turn! Don’t keep us in suspense!”

The audience thankfully is unable to see the slight tremor in Sayaka’s hands as she tears open the first letter. Her groupmates are quiet to drill up anticipation.

(And as a show of understanding. Ayaka is even comfortingly squeezing her thigh under the table.)

“Sayaka-san,” she finally reads. “Looking at you makes me feel like I have an older sister. You’re my guiding star and I never feel like I’m alone. I will support you always.”

She releases her breath. Joy bubbles in her heart. Just like that.

“Thank you so much! I won’t let you down!”

Everything will be fine.

(What a foolish thought that had been.)

–

“Sayaka-chan, you’re truly like a star. Shining and out of reach, and yet that makes it all the more special that you grace us with your light. You truly are the heart of CHARM!”

“Oh, but!” Sayaka hurriedly exclaims. “I wouldn’t be anything without anyone else!”

“Flatterer!” Ayaka exclaims right back. But when the show’s finally over, Sayaka crumbles the letter.

“I really don’t like it when they demean the others to compliment me.”

“Some fans are like that,” Satomi sighed. “I’m not taking it seriously and you shouldn’t either, Sayaka-chan.”

The others were already nodding along firmly as Ayaka nuzzled her cheek.

“We still appreciate it, and we know you care about us. In fact, we know you best, right?”

Ayaka really was warm and comforting.

“R-Right.”

“So, don’t worry!”

“I won’t.”

She had meant it. At the time.

(But things can never be so simple, can they?)

–

She first heard about the fan blog from a fan’s shouting as passed by after another successful concert.

“I’ll always follow Sayaka’s Room!”

The producers had explained it to her.

Just think of it like an online shrine, they said.

How flattering, Satomi said.

Don’t look at it, Ayaka said.

She found herself googling it in the dead of night. The latest entry, of course, is about the recent concert. Paragraphs gush about the stage, the music, Sayaka herself, and the words…

Like a guiding star, I can’t help but look away! I’ll never stop being a Sayaker!

It’s harmless, her producers said. It’s a symbol of love, they said.

There were countless other entries. Each and every event from meet-ups to even guest appearances were oh-so lovingly documented. Every stitch and crease in her outfits was remarked upon. Even the smallest twitch did not go unnoticed.

“Sayaka’s crooked smile chips away my heart! Is she sleeping well?”

That was from an event where she nearly collapsed backstage. Ayaka had given her such an earful.

“Oh, Sayaka! How I wish I could chase away the darkness that threatens your light!”

“It’s harmless,” she repeats to herself as she scrolls. “It’s a symbol of love.”

–

A couple of days later, a picture of her is posted.

It’s not of any event.

It’s her in her school uniform.

She’s laughing with her classmates. There are a couple of male classmates close by.

The comments are livid.

“It might be best,” her producers said with apologetic smiles. “If you were homeschooled from now on, Sayaka-chan.”

There are pictures posted of her heading to the station she takes home.

“As expected of Sayaka-chan! She always so dutifully gets on the train with her left foot!”

She can’t imagine what her father might think. She doesn’t tell him anything.

“It’s just love,” the producers had said. “It’s just an intense, different kind of love.”

“How about you room with me for a bit?” Ayaka asked after a long day. It’s a casual question. Ayaka doesn’t even bat an eyelash differently and Sayaka finds herself trembling as she forces out an answer.

She can’t imagine what her father might think, but she also isn’t sure he would even notice if she just…didn’t return home for a while.

–

“It’s time for Love Letters to CHARM!”

Another cheerful session. Joking and laughing. And then Sayaka goes to open up her letter and slices her fingers from the blade taped inside. Everyone goes silent. They stare at her with wide eyes, all save for one.

“Gawd, Sayaka,” Ayaka just laughs, but her stare is hard and cold. “Don’t you get enough letters?”

Without missing a beat, she snatches up one and tears it open without a preamble.

“You’re my guiding light!” she gushes in a fake, high-pitched voice. “So pure and shining! Don’t let anyone overshadow you! Oi, oi, what are the rest of us, chopped liver?”

“A… Ayaka!” Satomi gasped. “It’s rude to look at other people’s letters!”

Sayaka joins in the laughter as her blood stains the envelope red, red, red. Someone outside the recording booth is already screaming to get the first aid team.

“I’m sure they didn’t mean it like that! I certainly don’t feel that way!”

Someone is rushing with the first aid kit.

“After all, you girls are everything to me!”

One of them just bursts into tears. Ayaka teases her for being soft. Satomi’s gaze flickers nervously. And Sayaka is pulled into a tight embrace.

“I’m sorry,” is whispered oh so pitifully into her ear, away from the microphone. “I’m so, so, sorry.”

Sayaka’s fingers are bandaged up but they finish the session. The staff is the one that opens the letters now, all of them tentative and with utensils to make sure none of the others are dangerous. When done, they set the opened letters in front of each girl that the letter is for.

“I’m glad you don’t go to public school anymore,” one letter says. “Those pigs would’ve dirtied you.”

“You’re too pure for us normies,” another says.

“I’ll always forgive you, Sayaka-chan,” is written in a crude scrawl.

Are these letters really for her?

–

Sayaka’s Room is going strong. And now she can feel the blogger’s eyes where she goes. She’s painfully aware of someone following her as she’s shopping for groceries to prepare dinner with Ayaka. They’re unremarkable in every way and always on their phone. They would slip under the radar of any other person.

Sayaka glances at them. They flinch. She smiles. They look so dazzled.

They’re not even shy about snapping her picture.

It doesn’t show up on the blog. They must’ve thought that smile was for them alone.

In a way, it was. Treat someone like they’re special and they’re all the more likely to follow you even if it’s to the ends of the earth.

–

The Crane Wife was one of her favorite stories growing up if only because it was one of the precious few that her father read to her at night.

There really had been something sweet and melancholy about it, namely about the woman who plucked her own feathers for her lover’s sake.

Plucking herself thin so that she could support him. Essentially destroying herself for his financial gain. It was a romantic sacrifice and how she justified her father’s absence as time went on.

But sometimes, her mind wandered within the story.

If the crane wife had never fled, what would happen?

Surely, her lover would make her promise not to hurt herself anymore, right? Surely, he’d work harder to support them without needing to sacrifice her, right?

Except… Life could be hard, sometimes. Money still needed to be made if you were to survive.

What were another few feathers when you’re looking to preserve your livelihood?

If that man never let the crane wife escape, then what would’ve happened? Would she be plucked until all that remained was a naked corpse to cook and consume?

Or would she have snapped and stabbed her once lover through the heart with her sharp beak?

The human chest was surprisingly durable despite the heart being such a fragile thing, but if the crane wife could slip her beak between those ribs like so…

(Sayaka twisted the knife, digging it in deep. The red bloomed under her gloved hand like a rose.)

The heart really was such a fragile thing, she thought.

–

She returned to her place with Ayaka soon after that to strip away the blood-soaked clothes and gloves. It was Ayaka who ran the bath afterward at just the temperature she liked.

“It’s no problem, Saya,” Ayaka said like it was nothing. “I have a couple of favors I needed to pull anyway. No one will ever know.”

Ayaka squeezed her shoulder, and Sayaka very nearly sank deeper into the water. It took everything in her to not curl up and scream.

“So,” Ayaka began, speaking slowly like she was approaching a cornered animal. “How are you feeling?”

Sayaka breathed in. She breathed out.

“The funny thing is that once I decided to kill them… It wasn’t as difficult as I thought it’d be to actually…do it. I think that swimsuit photoshoot was harder.”

“I can believe that,” Ayaka sighed. “Well, I already called some guys to get rid of the body. And the detective said that the guy was just some loser shut-in, so no one’s gonna be looking for them. Not even their family. They were disowned years ago.”

Sayaka clenched her hand into a fist against her thigh.

“That makes things way easier.” Ayaka patted her head like she was a child. “Next time, don’t worry about getting your hands dirty. I’m always here to help, Saya. I promise.”

Sayaka leaned into her embrace, not saying another word as she soaked.

–

There was a boy she liked in middle school. She started liking him after she saw him carry a crane across the campus no matter how much the crane protested and flapped. He held onto that crane securely even as he struggled.

What a pure and earnest boy.

She wondered what he would think of someone like her if he knew the truth.

Would he still…?

[magioftheseas]

The Concept Of Self

Written for @sayakazine Please check out the fundraiser!!! Summary: Sayaka needs a change in direction when it comes to her image. Who better to ask but the Ultimate Fashionista? It's strange, then, that Enoshima Junko doesn't act like expected at all. Rating: PG Warnings: None really. Notes: This is one of my two fics posted for the Sayaka Zine! It's Ikuzono-focused but you can read it platonically. I've always been super interested in the idea of Sayaka interacting with Mukuro while she's disguised because, uh, Mukuro's not the best at acting and Sayaka would definitely notice. I love writing Sayaka as more shrewd and inquisitive while Mukuro is floundering. I think they're cute. Currently, the Sayaka Zine is running a fundraiser, so please show them support! Special thanks also to @softausterity for the illustrations, which are included in both the zine and the Ao3 version. Go check them out, too! ***Alternative Ao3 Link*** Commission? Donate?

She didn’t look at many fashion magazines growing up, even after she debuted.

She loved fashion and pretty dresses as much as the next person, but it had never been her passion. Just something she appreciated and respected from a distance with little understanding beyond if she thought an outfit was cute.

At the beginning of her career, she was told it was okay to not concern herself with such things.

“You’re cute enough without trying!”

Except now it’s become,

“You can’t keep coasting on your natural charm forever.”

She supposed she had expected this to a degree. As distant as she was from the normal teenage girl, she would’ve been a fool to not notice the rising star of the fashion world.

One Enoshima Junko.

–

There were other girls with noticeable style, of course. The Black Cherry girls were a strong example with the guitarist especially standing out. That guitarist, Mioda Ibuki, had a personal style that was as bold and brazen as her music.

Sayaka admired that commitment to individuality, but when she looked at herself, the difference between her and Mioda-senpai was as stark as peacocks and sparrows. No, Mioda-senpai knew herself better than anyone, but Sayaka didn’t think that she’d be understood at all.

But someone like Enoshima-san might be different. Enoshima was similarly bold and outspoken, but her interviews also depicted her as someone with a keen perception and a knack for understanding not just people but people at their deepest and basest.

When she finally met Enoshima, she had been on edge.

…but Enoshima-san wasn’t what she expected.

–

“Enoshima-san, can I speak to you for a moment?”

“Uh, why?”

What caught Sayaka’s attention first was that Enoshima was always on edge around her.

“It’s nothing serious! I just want to talk!”

“O-Oh, that’s, fine, I-I guess?”

Enoshima would cross her arms defensively and not at all like the powerful young woman who was predicted to take Japan by storm. Almost as if that person had been nothing more than an illusion.

But the Enoshima-san in the magazines absolutely isn’t a person that the press could fake.

There must be something that Sayaka is missing.

“Have I done something to offend you in some way?” she asked innocently, taking in the twitch in Enoshima’s eye. How Enoshima just barely manages to disguise her grimace as a grin. “I’ve actually come to you for advice, Enoshima-san.”

“Oh. Oh!” Enoshima does perk up at that, but she still seemed strangely flustered. “L-Like about…boys?”

Oh. Oh.

“It’s not about Naegi-kun at all.”

“I-I didn’t say–!” Enoshima balked, face a now brighter shade that rivaled her red nails. “W-What even gave you the impression?!”

“It’s a joke,” Sayaka chirped with a laugh. “I know there are rumors about Naegi-kun and me, but an idol is nothing without her fans. I’d never do anything to break so many hearts.” She does pause, switching to a more serious mode. “It actually is about my fans. More specifically, the image I present for them.”

The sky was unbearably bright. A more blinding blue than the shade of Enoshima’s widening eyes. Enoshima was no doubt taken aback.

“How am I supposed to…?” Enoshima stopped herself, flushing again. “Wait, so you’re looking to change…your look?”

Sayaka felt her smile strain. A shameful slip that had her want to dig in her nails and heels.

“In a manner of speaking, Enoshima-san. I’m glad you understand.”

It’s supposed to be Enoshima’s talent. Enoshima should understand fashion and image better than anything, from the matter of boys to the matter of her own heart.

Enoshima’s shoulders hunch in the most pitiful way. She worries on her lower lip extensively. Her bright blue eyes go downcast. Her mouth works to speak, but hardly a sound comes out. The bright red of her cheeks really does bring out those homely freckles.

“If you don’t have the time,” Sayaka said, with a pang of sympathy overriding any disappointment. “That’s fi…”

“It’s fine!” Enoshima exclaimed, finally bursting. “I-It’s absolutely fine, Maizono!” Tilting her head back, she forces a hearty laugh. “I’m just surprised! Didn’t think you’d go out of your way to ask me about something like that!”

She’s being honest.

Enoshima clears her throat.

“S-Say,” she says, quirking an eyebrow in a way that only slightly distracted from the sweat dripping down her cheek and the clamminess of her clenched hands. “How about a shopping trip? J-Just us two girly girls.”

She’s uncertain, but she’s earnest.

Sayaka doesn’t have to force her smile in the slightest.

“I would love that, Enoshima-san.”

–

There’s a shopping district nearby Hope’s Peak Academy. Since a lot of Ultimates flock there, it’s always bustling especially in the afternoon. To call it a cornerstone of trends would be an exaggeration. It’s a perfectly ordinary distinct, it’s just in a convenient spot.

Not that Sayaka would know for sure. Enoshima was wetting her lips in a clear sign of nerves rather than offering any judgment on the matter. When Enoshima noticed her curious stare, she forced a grin and snatched up her arm.

“Let’s do this, Maizono!”

Her voice cracked at the honorific. Likely also nerves.

Sayaka had already put on her best-disarming smile, but Enoshima was already tugging her into the first clothing store, closest to the entrance.

Was it convenience, or…?

It wasn’t her place to assume.

–

“This is cute, isn’t it?”

She had picked out a soft blue dress. Rather plain but the kind of thing worn in movies going for a rural charm. It’s the kind of unassuming but lovely thing that Sayaka would usually go for.

She can’t help but think that the Ultimate Fashionista would call it drab, but Enoshima is terribly tense as her gaze flickers from Sayaka’s innocent face to the cloth.

“It’s, uh, fine, yeah.” Enoshima finally forced a grin and a thumbs-up. “Is it what you’re looking for?”

…so that you can hurry up and leave?

“I’m not sure,” Sayaka said, and it was a nugget of truth despite everything. “Can we keep looking?”

Enoshima looked like she might be sick, but kept up that grin.

“S-Sure!”

The next outfit that Sayaka entertains is a poofy blouse. Enoshima simply nods along, agreeing that it’s cute. She even points out that the mannequin was wearing it so it must be popular.

Shouldn’t she know based on her own intuition?

She did notice. Enoshima looked over clothes as well, but idly like she had never been clothes shopping before. Enoshima did seem partial to some colors and designs, but they largely seemed more suited for blending in with the bushes over dazzling a crowd.

Just to test her, Sayaka did pick up a dress that was patterned with earthy tones of green and brown. She knew who it’d remind Enoshima of, and she saw how Enoshima’s eyes brightened when she brought it over.

“How about this, Enoshima-san?”

It’s a dress that even Sayaka knows she wouldn’t be able to wear, regardless of how charming it was. It’s too unassuming. Even her plainest clothes needed to have some level of flashiness. The Ultimate Fashionista would also say as much.

“Uh…” Enoshima-san hesitates, cheeks pink. “Is that…what you’re into?”

Sayaka just smiled as she always did. Smiled, smiled, smiled.

“Why? Do you think it’d look good on me?”

“Well,” Enoshima stutters. “I don’t want to recommend something you don’t want to wear. And I’ll be real, I don’t even know what you want to wear.”

“I’m not picky.” Her smile wouldn’t twitch. “This is for the fans as much as it’s for myself.”

Enoshima just frowned at her.

“Are you sure? Are you sure it’s for yourself as much as it’s for your fans?”

Ah. Enoshima-san is making herself into a problem now.

“Sure I’m sure!” A cute laugh here. Smile, smile, smile. Turn up the CHARM! “Why wouldn’t I be sure?”

Rather than at her, Enoshima looked up at the store lights.

It smarts a little.

“Do you like the dress or not?” She finally cut straight to the point. “Do you think it’s cute? Unassuming but so very charming? Because I’ll trust your opinion on anything, Enoshima-san. You’re the Ultimate Fashionista, so this is your talent, right?”

Enoshima looked at her shoes next. Her cheeks are flushed, and it’s likely not because of the dress.

I feel like I’m bullying her. That’s not how an idol is supposed to act at all. What’s wrong with me?

Enoshima doesn’t even assert herself. She just shrugs before sullenly nodding. Sayaka had once thought that the Enoshima-san she read about would tear someone apart if they dared to cross her. She had envied that idea to an almost sickening degree.

I’m already twisted, but…

“Do you think I should just forget about my fans?”

Still, I…

“That I shouldn’t consider them at all?”

Enoshima’s shoulders hunch.

“...m-maybe?”

She sounded so unsure.

“I-I mean.” She’s stuttering. “Isn’t this about you and what image you want to put out?”

“In a sense.” Sayaka is calm. “But idols aren’t anything without their fans. Not considering them at all would be cruel. I exist for their sake, so…”

“So you’re going to restrict yourself based on what you think they want?” Enoshima’s frown deepened. “I don’t think that’s what self-expression is about. It, uh, sounds like the opposite, actually.”

The thing is that Enoshima’s sentiment was sincere. She still wasn’t confident at all, but it was still a belief from her heart.

And it was ridiculous. Cliché and cheesy, but Sayaka had begun to suspect…

Maybe Enoshima-san has a secret twin or something.

That should’ve been the end of it. If this Enoshima wasn’t actually the Enoshima-san that she read about, then what actual good was she? This trip was a waste of time. A total waste, but she supposed it made for a pleasant enough detour.

And this Enoshima-san isn’t a bad person. She’s cute much the same way that Naegi-kun is. But my fans always come first.

“It can’t be helped,” Sayaka found herself saying. “I’m an idol, so that’s the way that things need to be. I can’t be like Enoshima-san.”

Enoshima warily regards her. That’s her first cue.

“I had a great time.” She made a move to put the dress back on the rack. “And I really do appreciate your help. I’m sorry for wasting your time.”

“You’re just going to cut things off here?” Enoshima’s voice rose. “Seriously?! You haven’t even tried on any of the clothes you showed me!”

Just like how unassuming Naegi could be full of surprises, it was a shock when Enoshima reached out and grabbed her wrist.

“So what if it’s not what the fans want? The fans aren’t even here, Maizono-san! If you want to wear these outfits, you should! I won’t judge!”

“A-Ah…”

Enoshima’s grip was stronger than she could’ve imagined. Enoshima realized that too when she winced, hurriedly retracting her hand.

“S-Sorry, I just…” Enoshima scratched the back of her neck. She dug in her nails like it itched terribly.  “I’ve just been thinking… I want to see what you want to wear. Even if it’s not what others want; if it’s what you want… What’s the harm in dressing up? That’s…what I wanted to say.”

Her wrist wasn’t swollen, and she really should leave. She really should.

Instead, she says. “It might be underwhelming or disappointing. I’m…afraid I’m not as sparkly on my own as I am on the stage.”

“That’s fine,” Enoshima almost replied too quickly. “I still want to know more about you. Despite our, uh, differences, I think we could get along.” Then, quieter, she mumbled. “You kind of remind me of someone I really like and admire, so I do want to help you…”

“Ah. Hm.” Sayaka tilted her head, genuinely curious because that person couldn’t be Naegi. “Who?”

“N-Not important!” Enoshima squealed. “Do you have to try and distract me instead of just answering the question?!” She’s whining, too. It’s so childish. “You always do that!”

She’s the one that’s like Naegi-kun. I can’t help but tease her.

She can’t help but laugh.

I can’t help but like her.

She takes the dress back and holds it close.

“Alright!” She exclaims like it’s easy. Like it’s simple. Like her heart really is light. “I’ve actually always wanted to wear green. I like green more than pink if you can believe it.”

“I don’t,” Enoshima said bluntly. “But I understand it.”

Sayaka smiles wide, and it doesn’t even hurt in a bad way.

[sayakazine]

💙 FUNDRAISER COUNTDOWN 💙

In the garden, you'll find him waiting... Won't you give in to temptation? We're sure you'll find something to soothe any desire in our fundraiser store, still open now!

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[sayakazine]

💙 FUNDRAISER COUNTDOWN 💙

This one is for the little girl back then that always believed she could— and we believe too! We're getting closer to our goal thanks to your support, and our fundraiser remains open!

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[andreabandrea]

Sayaka’s become familiar with all of Celestia’s tells: the near-imperceptible twitch of the corner of her red lips, the dilation of her pupils, the way her long nails tap certain cards. But as the Ultimate Gambler, she undoubtedly must be broadcasting these as a bluff - either way, Sayaka can’t stop looking.

Sayaker NATION!   Your #1 Blog for CHARM News! Post #1137 Did any other Sayakers see the broadcast today??? Sayaka SNAPPED after seeing that motive video! It can't be real... can it? Stay strong, Sayaka... (´；д；`) I hope she can escape that horrible place...   MOOD: Scared   LISTENING TO: Heavensent 83 Comments

I'm able to post my pieces for Idolaty @sayakazine! There's a fundraiser currently under way, so please check them out!

[cryzono]

My piece for @sayakazine ! as some of you know, Sayakazine is currently holding a fundraiser! please go help us out, and get something cool in the process. The digital zine and tons of physical and digital merch are up for grabs, so go check it out!

[sayakazine]

💿🎀PREVIEWS 🎀💿

It's still spring, and the cherry blossoms are still blooming... Love is in the air! Grab these limited stock fem!Komahina and Kamukoma charms before they go with the seasons!

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[sayakazine]

💿🎀PREVIEWS 🎀💿

Ever wanted your beary own personal Monokuma to carry around? After all, he's such a cute little bundle of despair! These crocheted Monokumas are just one kind of charm you can find in our store now!

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