<beeping can be heard and static shoots across the screen before the sound of slapping of metal can be heard and the picture flickers to life. Scarlett is seen momentarily shaking her red palm and muttering about rusty bots before she tosses her dark hair back and shoots her most charming smile at the camera>
Welcome darlings to another episode of Scarlett’s Adventures. I’ll be your beautiful host, Scarlett and today I’ll be showing you a wonderful idea for a daytrip out of Thayd. Have a day off and don’t want to run into your wife or husband while on a date with your lover? Well fear not for I have the perfect getaway for you to a picturesque, bumpkin dead-end town that no one will admit to going to, let alone saying they saw you at! That’s right, Gallow is big on rustic charm, street violence, beautiful scenery, mine-dust and townsfolk that are friendly if not a bit creepy. What more could you want?
<she sneezes violently, then mutters> I think I’m allergic to that darn dust. Or just dirt.
< her hand delicately caresses her bare neck as she clears her throat, making that even looking somehow sensual before she wiggles her finger at cambot Bottie, beckoning him to follow her>
Now as you can see before me the view of the town is quite stunning…
< The camera slowly moves away from her and shows off a panoramic view of the town and the nearby fields. Scarlett can be heard walking off to the side of the camera when suddenly there is a loud, horrid, squish sound. Bottie instantly turns and zooms in on Scarlett. Her eyes clenched closed, teeth grinding and one pretty boot clad foot in the middle of a Longhorn dung pile.>
<Her eyes flutter open and shes taking in deep breaths to calm herself. A twisted, almost  deranged smile appears on her lips and she manages to say through clenched teeth>
How about we now show you some of the footage shot earlier of the local activities you can do around here? Bottie, if you will.
<pre-recorded video set to poppy music suddenly comes on with a voice over of a much more cheerful and enthusiastic Scarlett>
What can you do around pretty lil Gallow? Well let me show you!
How about taking a photo with the local wildlife?
Hang out with the local gangs! Sure they seem hostile at first but when you are a tourist remember its your duty to try and adapt to the local culture so show that you are making an effort!
Show off your bike, and if that doesn’t work pull out those sweet sweet dance moves. Who could resist? I think I’ve just found handsome backup dancers for my next music video!
Join in the local cultural traditions, which in this case is cheering at a funeral (told you they were weird).
Go flower picking with your sweetie! Just avoid the Fiera flowers. Trust me.
And more! So come on down, I’m sure you’ll have a blast!
<the pre-recording finishes and the image returns to Scarlett who is now only wearing one boot, the other can be seen behind her, the sole imprinted onto the side of the tree as if she had thrown it there in a rage. Nevertheless, trying to maintain her professionalism she tilts her head towards the camera and beams at her viewers>
So there you have it folks, isn’t this hellhole err town just… delightful! Yes, delightful indeed. So make sure you keep it in mind for your next travel adventure. This is Scarlett signing out, see you all next week!
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