who up?
i have literally not touched this since high school i think 🤔
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if i look back, i am lost
we're not kids anymore.
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@scenewannabe
who up?
i have literally not touched this since high school i think 🤔
oh wow
relationships won't heal you and being single won't kill you. remember that
I will receive 3 pieces of great news THIS WEEK. I claim it, manifest it & believe it
1790 he takes the newborn girl from his wife carries her to the neighboring room cradles her head with his left hand and gently snaps her neck with his right
1890 a wet towel to wrap her in grains of rice and sand in the nose a mother shares the trick with her daughter-in-law i had to do it she says as did my mother and her mother before her
1990 a newspaper article reads a hundred baby girls were found buried behind a doctor’s house in a neighboring village the wife wonders if that’s where they took her she imagines her daughter becoming the soil fertilizing the roots that feed this country
1998 oceans away in a toronto basement a doctor performs an illegal abortion on an indian woman who already has a daughter one burden is enough she says
2006 it’s easier than you think my aunties tell my mother they know a family who’ve done it three times they know a clinic. they should get mumma the number. the doctor even prescribes pills that guarantee a boy. they worked for the woman down the street they say now she has three sons
2012 twelve hospitals in the toronto area refuse to reveal a baby’s gender to expecting families until the thirtieth week of pregnancy all twelve hospitals are located in areas with high south asian immigrant populations
- female infanticide | female feticide - Rupi Kaur
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the bucket and the toilet paper........
In case anyone wants some perspective on how utterly random triggers can be. I haven’t lived in a house with a garage door in four-ish years. Right now at this moment, I honestly can’t recall what they sound like, except something metallic moving and rather clanky.
There was one on tv. I wasn’t even paying attention to it, I had my headphones on and was actively trying to tune the show out. My ears picked up on the sound of the garage door, and a jolt of adrenaline shot through my body as I grabbed my laptop and moved to get out of my seat and run to my room.
I realized what happened after about two seconds.
The sound is gone from my ears, but my heart is still racing and I’m waiting for the door to the house to open, to hear the jingling of my mother’s keys and her footsteps moving through the house. My muscles are still tense and I’m fighting the urge to run to my room and stick a board in front of the door.
For years, the sound of a garage door was my warning to pack up what I was doing quickly and retreat to my room if I was out of it.
I can’t remember the sound of the garage door right now, but I can’t tell my brain to stop trying to react to it.
This can be reblogged, if anyone was wondering. I wrote up this post with the intention that hopefully people who read it and didn’t really get triggers would understand a bit.
So, a thing that’s particularly important here: The trigger here is not the bad experience itself.
after my super funtime medical adventure, i had to change all my bath products, because my brain had associated the scent of them with being terrified and in extreme pain.
these were products i had chosen myself because i liked the smell. and they got connected to the medical phobia because i was using them to wash off the hospital reek and the fear sweat and so forth. i don’t know why they became a trigger. maybe because washing off the hospital smell didn’t make me not in pain. maybe because their ‘fresh pine ocean breeze bluegreen spicy stuff’ smell didn’t really replace the hospital stench, just mingled with it.
but for whatever reason, smelling these objectively nice soaps made me do flashbacks and get all hopeless and wobbly. so they had to go.
triggers are random. they’re often something that was simply present during a trauma, and you can’t guess what they’ll be. no one who hasn’t heard me explain this would ever associate suave naturals ocean breeze body wash with unbearable abdominal pain. so i guess the takeaways here are twofold:
- if you have triggers, remember other people can’t predict them, and don’t expect to be protected from them all the time. that’s up to you.
- if you don’t have triggers, don’t assume you can judge what a ‘real’ trigger is, and if someone asks you to accomodate them, don’t be a dick about it. even if you don’t want to make that accomodation, decline politely and apologize, don’t disparage their request.
hate hate hate when I’m listening to some true crime story that takes place in or before the 20th century and the host calls prostitutes “sex workers.” Those women were not “sex workers,” there was nothing sexy or “liberating” about what they had to do to survive. Referring to them as sex workers kind of minimizes the awful situation they were in. So many of them either starved to death on the street or did prostitution to get by. They really didn’t have much of a choice. Don’t use modern liberal language to describe these poor women.
One of my teachers referred to the Pornai—state owned sex slaves for all citizen males to enjoy, and from where we get the term “pornography”=graphic depiction of vile whores—of ancient Athens as “engaging in sex work” and I was about an inch away from snapping.
I recently wrote a paper on why we need to stop using sex work terminology for ancient Greek prostitution (and for prostitution in general).
The women who were in the ancient Greek sex trade - whether pornai, hetairai, musician/dancing girls, etc - were in there out of necessity and compulsion. Most of them were slaves: war captives, orphans, baby girls exposed after birth and enslaved. Others were forced into it by their families, ie a prostituted woman has children and trains them (usually the daughters) to pick up the trade. (These situations are now sometimes called “family businesses” in scholarship.)
And those who weren’t enslaved or forced into it were usually impoverished widows or metic women who had little other choice if they wanted to survive.
And yet these clear instances of trafficking are referred to as “sexual labour” or “unfree sex work” in academia. Pimps are sanitized into “operators of a sex business” despite the ancient Greek term, pornoboskos, literally translating to “whore-herder” or “shepherd of pornai”. If you ever wanna rip out your eyes, read anything by Edward E. Cohen or Konstantinos Kapparis.
(Funnily enough, one of the words for punter was pornokopos, which means “whore-striker”. Now, striking/hitting was sometimes a euphemism for intercourse in ancient Greek but even then the association of sex with violence is rather interesting.)
Tldr; the ancient Greek sex trade was brutal. It was based on slave-labour and marginalization. Dont believe all the talk about hetairai being “empowered” and “having agency” because that’s straight up lies. They were not that different from pornai or flute-girls - in fact, there was very little distinction between them all.
In the heat of battle, photographer Horace Bristol captured one of the most unique and erotic photos of WWII.
Bristol photographed a young crewman of a US Navy “Dumbo” PBY rescue mission, manning his gun after having stripped naked and jumped into the water of Rabaul Harbor to rescue a badly burned Marine pilot. The Marine was shot down while bombing the Japanese-held fortress of Rabaul.
“…we got a call to pick up an airman who was down in the Bay. The Japanese were shooting at him from the island, and when they saw us they started shooting at us. The man who was shot down was temporarily blinded, so one of our crew stripped off his clothes and jumped in to bring him aboard. He couldn’t have swum very well wearing his boots and clothes. As soon as we could, we took off. We weren’t waiting around for anybody to put on formal clothes. We were being shot at and wanted to get the hell out of there. The naked man got back into his position at his gun in the blister of the plane.”
“And well, there was his butt, and I had a camera. I mean I AM a historian.”
That is the BEST EVER quote about the nature of historians I’ve ever seen
For historical purposes.
wait what happened with bella thorne?
She made an onlyfans and cashed in one million $ in the first 24 hours + she's making a "documentary" about it
Update: it literally took her ugly privileged ass ONE DAY to ruin the platform for actual sex workers who depend on it for survival
Wow! It's almost as if being involved in prostitution/OnlyFans is an unrealiable and horrible "job" for women to do! Who would have thought???!!!
Porn companies and men who consume porn don't give a shit about women. I hope OnlyFans shuts down because at least then no more young women will get exploited and have their nudes shared all over the internet for the rest of their lives.
This stuff is actually hilarious. They’re SO mad at her for ... what exactly? She said on Twitter that she wasn’t going to go nude, but horny pornsick men gave her money anyway. Yeah she may not need the money as much as other people but so what? Do you think the men who paid for her non-exclusive, clothed pictures would have gone and paid that same money to another random woman on OF? OF COURSE NOT.
It’s a fucking disease and I hope the app shuts down.
It’s almost as if prostitution isn’t the empowering endeavour it’s made out to be by liberal feminists and men.
It’s almost as if, just like any other thing, the rich and privileged benefit from exploiting it, where poor people are exploited.
And it comes with a heaping helping of women’s consent being thrown under a bus for ALL women, not just those who choose it for “fun”
So this is actually a really illuminating example of how patriarchy and men turn women against each other.
The commenter above is correct; not only would the men who paid for Bella’s photos never have paid for the other women, but the company itself is to blame for their own change in policy. These women are getting mad at Bella for gaming a rigged system, instead of getting mad at the rigged system, and particularly at men who control the rules and the men who control the money.
Their anger at how unfair it is to be so dependent on a rigged system is now successfully displaced onto an individual woman who is not responsible for either what the company does with its policy or for what individual men choose to do with their money. She has the benefit of wealth privilege, but she is only taking advantage of a system that is already rigged by men to oppress women, and specifically is rigged by rich men to oppress poor women. None of this “sex work” will EVER work in favor of poor women, and their eyes have been blinded to the true exploitation of this by men who want to ensure that any anger they have is misdirected at other women instead of directed at the male-built system itself. Of course it’s unfair. Male-controlled, rigged systems that exploit women will always be unfair. But Bella herself is only responsible for taking advantage of that system, not creating it, running it, or dictating the rules. She is a cog herself, and other women are just angry because they aren’t (because they are not famous) able to profit and take advantage of the rigged system as she was. The game is fucking rigged ladies! You’re never going to win a game that’s rigged and rooted in your exploitation and controlled by male desire and male money. Bella didn’t “win the game,” she just won a round with a cheating hand and you’re angry at her for playing rather than being mad at the male dealer who upholds and changes the rules, the men who helped her cheat and the male inventor of the fucking game! It’s rigged against you, you’ll never win and the rules will always change in someone else’s (usually male) favor! It’s designed to exploit you! The only power and control you have is to stop playing!
its Thursday so i get to post the one meme i made this year
i cackled
“Our relationship has been a little rocky of late, so we were thinking that maybe adding a third person would be better!” So what you’re telling me is your relationship is stressful and a mess and you want to drag some innocent person into the middle of it, no thanks.
Can't tell you how many times I've seen people try to justify "opening" their relationship this way.
Does this refer to a poly relationship or having a child? We may never know.
Oh shit that’s the real tea
If roads are rocky, and you want a third person in ur relationship, that third one should be ur fucking relationship therapist
That’s even hotter tea
The only thing "free" about so-called free time is that it doesn't cost the boss anything. Free time is mostly devoted to getting ready for work, going to work, returning from work, and recovering from work. Free time is an euphemism for the peculiar way labor as a factor of production not only transports itself at its own expense to and from the workplace but assumes primary responsibility for its own maintenance and repair.
Bob Black