RELATIONAL SAFETY OR SECURITY and EMOTIONAL CONNECTION TO OTHERS
Abandonment / Instability – Feeling that the people you love will leave you. Clinging too much to people and end up pushing them away. May get very upset or angry about minor separations.
Mistrust and Abuse – Expectation that people will hurt or abuse you in some way–that they will cheat, lie, manipulate, humiliate, physically harm or otherwise take advantage of you. You never let people get too close, are suspicious of others’ intentions and tend to assume the worst.
Emotional Deprivation – Believing that your need for love will never be met adequately, feeling that no one truly cares about you or understands how you feel. Become attracted to cold and ungiving people, or are cold and ungiving yourself, leading to unsatisfying relationships.
Social Isolation – Feeling isolated from the rest of the world and feeling different; avoiding socializing in groups and making friends because you feel socially undesirable. Feeling and action inferior in social situations.
SELF ESTEEM: Identity, confidence, self-acceptance
Defectiveness / Shame – Feeling flawed and defective, believing that you would be unlovable to anyone who got close enough to really know you. Feeling unworthy of love, you find it difficult to believe that people value you, and thus expect rejection.
Enmeshment / Undeveloped Self – Excessive emotional involvement and closeness with one or more significant others (often parents), at the expense of full individuation or normal social development. May also include feelings of being smothered by, or fused with, others OR insufficient individual identity. Often experienced as a feeling of emptiness and floundering, having no direction, or in extreme cases questioning one's existence.
Failure – Belief that you are inadequate in areas of achievement, such as school, work and sports.
Subjugation – Sacrifice your own needs and desires for the sake of pleasing others or meeting their needs, fearing that you will be punished or abandoned if you disobey. You repeatedly enter relationships with dominant, controlling people, or with needy people who are too damaged to give back to you in return.
Emotional Inhibition – The excessive inhibition of spontaneous action, feeling, or communication -- usually to avoid disapproval by others, feelings of shame, or losing control of one's impulses. The most common areas of inhibition involve: (a) inhibition of anger & aggression; (b) inhibition of positive impulses (e.g., joy, affection, sexual excitement, play); (c) difficulty expressing vulnerability or communicating freely about one's feelings, needs, etc.; or (d) excessive emphasis on rationality while disregarding emotions.
INDEPENDENCE AND FUNCTIONING
Dependence / Incompetence – Feeling unable to handle everyday life in a competent manner without considerable help from others. Seeking out strong figures upon whom you become dependent and allow them to rule your life. At work, you shrink from acting on your own.
Vulnerability – Fearing that disaster is about to strike, like getting an illness, having an anxiety attack, going crazy.
Insufficent Self-Control – Pervasive difficulty or refusal to exercise sufficient self-control and frustration tolerance to achieve one's personal goals, or to restrain the excessive expression of one's emotions and impulses. In its milder form, patient presents with an exaggerated emphasis on discomfort-avoidance: avoiding pain, conflict, confrontation, responsibility, or overexertion---at the expense of personal fulfillment, commitment, or integrity.
Negativity – A pervasive, lifelong focus on the negative aspects of life (pain, death, loss, disappointment, conflict, guilt, resentment, unsolved problems, potential mistakes, betrayal, things that could go wrong, etc.) while minimizing or neglecting the positive or optimistic aspects. Usually involves an inordinate fear of making mistakes that might lead to: financial collapse, loss, humiliation, or being trapped in a bad situation. Because potential negative outcomes are exaggerated, these patients are frequently characterized by chronic worry, vigilance, complaining, or indecision.
Unrelenting Standards – Striving relentlessly to meet extremely high expectations of yourself, placing excessive emphasis on status, money, achievement, beauty, order og recognition at the expense of happiness, pleasure, health, a sense of accomplishment, and satisfying relationships.
theartofmadeline
kaledo-art
turnnoffyourmind
prguitarman
izzy806