Even though it is physically over, it still haunts you. No one told me that a year later I would still think about her. No one told me how hard it would be to stop comparing other people to her. Time hasn't healed, it will, but it hasn't. No one told me I would have vivid memories of the relationship that sparks my depression. No one told me that when you fuck up in a relationship, it follows you. No one told me how guilty I would feel. No one told me how hard it would be to never get to love her again. No one told me that when you see her in the halls it is a constant battle of who can fake being happy so well that the other person doesn't no you are hurting. No one told me how the longing for her is so bad that you are immobile. No one told me that after the relationship I have been hyper aware of what I say, so I don't fuck up another good thing in my life. No one told me the jealousy would get so bad when you hear they move on. Why do they get to move on? Why can't I? The pictures. The feeling. The connection. Her pictures. Her feeling. Her connection. Her eyes. My pictures. My feeling. My connection. My eyes. They are no longer locked together as one. Just kind of there, living as strangers who used to have something. But it doesn't matter anyways. She never actually loved me...
