ＰＲＩＤＥ

[scnkei]

What flavour is my soul ?

VANILLA. oh heart of ice and mind of gold, what am I to do with you? you are only good in small amounts, bittersweet fledgling, you are hard for most to swallow. your spirit is strong, your wit is potent, your biting essence drives even the most daring away. but why are you hiding your sweetness? I know within you, you are soft, but humanity has made you bitter. you mask your pain and sorrow with spite and sensibility. you say you do not care about trivial things, but don't you? sweetheart relax. you can let down your drawbridge, the waters are not poisoned. I know you have looked monsters in between the eyes and scoffed at them, but please, relax. you think your armor protects you but it is smothering you slowly. little owlet, when will you learn, words can only get you so far? feelings are what makes this world pulse. do not suppress your feelings. your heart can still thaw my dear. trust.

[scnkei]

[ It's January, which means going through my blogs to revive them! ]

[scnkei]

[ saw this and it's them ]

[scnkei]

It's his birthday.

[scnkei]

Of course Renji knows Byakuya's steadfastness, knows how strong-willed he is. And he is fully aware his word is his bond. Yet still, sometimes he needs that verbal reassurance. He does not think this is a crime, but had he known how it affected his partner, he might think twice about asking.

The relief, however, when Byakuya tells him he still wishes for them to be married, is quite obvious in his face, because he also knows that Byakuya does not lie. "Good," he says, his breath fogging in the gray air around them as he breathes a sigh of relief "me too.. I really, really do." Out of the two of them, he had been the one with doubts, so he figures he should make clear that he has changed his mind. That he really wants this, and is not just doing it to please Byakuya. Given their ranks, it would be more likely for Renji to bend to Byakuya's will, and he doesn't want Byakuya to ever think that he is just humouring him over something so important.

"First, lets pick a season. Do you want to tell me those traditional Kuchiki dates..?" He squeezes the other's hand a little. Their noses have grown a bit pink in the cold. "Perhaps over some tea..?" They should go inside soon.

It was a relief to him that the approaching crisis seemed to have been averted, and rather easily too. He knew he would've felt even worse if Renji had proceeded to ask him; ARE YOU SURE? Things were proceeding smoothly. Byakuya watched the other breathe out a sigh of relief. Ah - so he really had been worried?

Yes, was the answer, judging from the squeeze to his hand.

A season... He thought he'd very much prefer a summer wedding. It was the season he associated most with Renji. For the sunshine. The warmth. And - perhaps a little inappropriately - he also thought Renji looked the most beautiful in summer. Unlike Byakuya, who stayed exactly the same throughout the year, Renji had small changes about him. All lovely in their own sense, but - well - the summer changes were the most stunning.

Kuchiki weddings happened traditionally in August, at summer's peak, so that the firstborn should be born just as spring turned into summer. Byakuya's father was born 21. May, and his grandfather on June 2nd. Byakuya himself was born in the dead of winter. His parents had been married almost a whole year before managing to procreate - a proof how Byakuya's mother's lack of reiatsu, which had ultimately lead to her passing.

❝ I would prefer a summer wedding, but it's not set in stone. If you have other preferences. ❞ They should head inside. It was getting late. ❝ August is our traditional wedding month. ❞

[scnkei]

“Out all the Shinigami I’ve encountered, you are perhaps the only who has a shed of honour.” (Jiro Amano! he’s testing the waters today djdjd)

❝ A mere Hollow has no right to judge my honour. ❞ What concept of pride and honour could a CREATURE have? Byakuya might as well have asked a cockroach for its opinion. The words were as insignificant to him as words never spoken at all. He didn't offer the Hollow even a glance. His gaze averted. He knew that from the Hollow's point of view, the words spoken had not been an insult. But, of course - Byakuya saw it differently. Having a "shred" of honour? His honour was everything to him. To have a shred was to have none at all.

[scnkei]

'If I wish?' Renji's brow furrows slightly, hearing it. He thought Byakuya might be a bit more pleased that he had grown into the idea of marriage, when before he'd been unsure..

He does not comment on the choice of words, though. Byakuya has already continued the conversation to said planning. Renji is surprised to hear that his partner might want to plan their wedding on a traditional Kuchiki date.. He is certainly not opposed to that, but.. Given the nature of their union, he suspects the rest of the Kuchiki family might not be too pleased about such a decision.

He snorts lightly at Byakuya's assertion that he does not believe in luck. That suits him perfectly, doesn't it..? Hard work is the only thing that counts, and if you come across misfortune, you simply didn't work hard enough to achieve your goals. That sounds like a Kuchiki belief. More or less having been raised by Madarame Ikkaku.. Renji obviously feels differently. Luck does matter to him. At least a little. And besides.. There is so much proof of it, too. Otherwise, it would suggest that everyone gets what they deserve or work for, no matter what, and that everything is predestined, somehow. And then he cannot really believe in free will, either. No, he'd rather stick to luck being real.

"Well, if it is all the same to you, lets pick a lucky date anyway." If Byakuya doesn't care about luck, then to him, any day should be fine, right? Then they might as well pick a lucky one. He hesitates a moment before continuing

"That is.. You still want us to get married, right?" At the moment it does feel a bit like they're making plans to have dinner together, rather than to tie their souls to one another for the rest of their lives..

A LUCKY DATE, hm? Well, if that was what Renji wanted, then he would not object. He simply would not see the date as lucky, since he didn't believe in such a thing. To him, the concept of a "lucky date" had been proven wrong. He assumed it gave the other some comfort to believe in luck - because it freed you from responsibility. Byakuya would NEVER shy away from making his own fate. To say something was out of your control was to admit defeat. There was no reason to argue with Renji about whether or not luck even existed. The other was entitled to his believes, misguided though they were.

AND - as anticipated, Renji's insecurities were brought to the fore-front once again. Byakuya had expected it.

That is.. You still want us to get married, right?

Of course. OF COURSE Renji would start having doubts about Byakuya's intentions. Even though Byakuya was the most steadfast person, who never went back on his word, and who was NOT in the habit of changing his mind. Renji always - ALWAYS ended up doubting him. Doubting his love for him. It was quite tiring, having to prove himself over and over again.

Why couldn't Renji just trust him?

He wanted to ask him; Have I expressed anything else? But --- He stopped himself. He realized that it was his lack of enthusiasm that Renji was interpreting. That --- Would be a difficult thing to fix, because Byakuya never expressed enthusiasm about anything. Yet, that was what Renji wanted from him, right?

❝ Yes, I do. ❞ He said. It made him feel a strange sense of defeat, because no matter what he did or said, Renji never trusted him. It bothered him more than it should. If Renji didn't trust him, that was his fault for not being trustworthy. He had to work harder. Do better.

It wasn't like he could apologize for not being more enthusiastic. It would be apologizing for being himself. Apologies were no small matter, he would not deliver one so easily. So - what else could he say then?

Why do you think I would ever break my word to you?

Is our engagement that trivial to you, that you think it can be broken off as simply as that?

Don't, he told himself. Renji would be upset. They would argue.

❝ Let us choose a lucky date. ❞

[scnkei]

It's getting cold again on their occasional evening walks around the Kuchiki estate gardens. Dark, too. Winter is fast approaching. Already Renji can see their breaths fogging up, whisked away on the night air. All the more reason, then, to join their hands. Byakuya's smaller, and colder in his own. Sometimes Renji chatters away on these walks, sometimes they enjoy the quiet of evening in relative silence. The latter has been the case this evening, mostly because Renji's been lost in thought. It has been on his mind a lot, actually. Not enough to leave him distracted enough to mess up work, but enough to occupy his free moments. Perhaps it is no coincidence that his free moments are most often spent with Byakuya. Every time he sees him.. Well, how can he not think about it?

The gardens aren't very pretty this time of year.. So many plants hibernating, or simply dying. Nothing blossoming and the leaves scarce. Renji cannot wait for the first snow to come and cover it all like a blanket. It leaves the place feeling whimsical. Would winter be a good season for what he's been thinking about..? Or maybe spring, because of new life and all that.. Though, next year is the year of the snake, perhaps they should wait..? Although, perhaps if they pick a day that is Taian on the Rokuyo calender, perhaps the year does not matter..

They've arrived at their favourite spot. Overlooking the koi-pond, with a good view of the rising moon. "I wonder.." He starts, not quite looking at Byakuya "..should we start planning?" A wedding, from what he's heard, can easily take a year to put on, right? "Or.. Did you have a specific date in mind..?" Or a month, a season, a year? Byakuya had been so certain that they would marry, when they publicized their relationship. But he'd only been waiting because of Renji's hesitation, right?

He didn't think he would ever get used to holding hands. It seemed childish to him. Unnecessary, even. He could walk on his own, as could Renji. However, he knew that pulling his hand away would only sadden Renji, and that would entail him explaining why hand-holding was unbecoming. Renji would disagree, they would argue, and eventually Byakuya would cave, and go along with holding hands, ending right back up where he was now. So - it was not worth the effort.

At least Renji's hand was warm.

They ended up at the koi pond. The moon bathed the dark garden in cold light. There was so little colour at this time of the year. Byakuya would like some snow soon. Or perhaps they could just fast forward to spring ( even though spring often made him melancholic ).

Renji spoke, and Byakuya's attention turned to him. He understood right away that he was thinking of their wedding. He was glad Renji was thinking about it. It WOULD be a lot of planning. Byakuya wondered how many of his family members would even attend it. He assumed even fewer people than had come to his wedding to Hisana. He pushed that thought aside.

A specific date in mind? In his experience, it didn't matter. He had married Hisana on Taian. Where was the LUCK and PEACE he had been promised? Byakuya wondered they should pick a date that was typically associated with the Kuchiki Family. Something traditional. Then again - everything about their wedding would BREAK tradition, so maybe it would be more respectful to not go the traditional route? He didn't have the answers to these questions.

He thought about simply letting Renji decide.

A strange thought. It was almost always Byakuya himself who made decisions for them.

❝ We can start planning it, if you wish. ❞ It was not meant to be dismissive, but Byakuya realized it sounded that way. ❝ There are dates, as well as years, that historically have been picked for Kuchiki weddings. ❞ Dates which promised fortune and prosperity. ❝ But I don't believe in luck. ❞

[scnkei]

"Kuchiki Taichou, I apologise for disturbing you. I just wanted to know if you like to sample some of my parent's tea? They're based in Junrinan." (Aoi for Byakuya!)

The "I apologize for disturbing you" was met with silence, but he didn't turn away - that meant proceed. He did not know who this Shinigami was, but from her uniform, he could tell she was from the 13th division - from Rukia's division.

The unknown Shinigami did not introduce herself, as she should've. Perhaps she understood that Byakuya didn't care about her name, and was likely not to even remember it, should she introduce herself. Still - it would've been proper etiquette. He would have to tell Rukia that she should pay more attention to her underlings' manners.

She proceeded to ask if he wanted to sample some tea. She should've asked: would you do my parents the honour of sampling their tea? Serving the Kuchiki Household was a great honour, only given to a select few, who grew the most perfect produce. He wondered what had given this Shinigami the confidence to present her product to him in this manner. Was it because Rukia was her captain?

Junrinan did ring a bell though. There was a rather famous teahouse there, as he recalled.

❝ No. ❞ He did not like the thought of sampling anything, as if he was a test-taster. And the "some of my"-description of the tea was too vague. Byakuya would only drink the very best tea. ❝ But present their finest blend to me, and I will taste it. ❞ This would be a great honour for the teahouse. In Byakuya's book, he was being kind. Because Rukia would be happy.

[scnkei]

“Rumor has it, lil Bya-kun can’t handle a lil alcohol~” The smug drunkard poked Byakuya’s cheek.

"Rumor Has It..." meme ,,

❝ I certainly have nowhere near your experience with alcohol, Kyōraku-Sōtaichō. ❞ It was not a compliment. Perhaps it was petty of him, but he absolutely hated it when people addressed him informally. It was something he knew he had to accept from his seniors, but he still disliked it. He simply wasn't accustomed to hearing his name, let alone a nickname. He wished the older Shinigami would simply call him ' Kuchiki '.

Byakuya was not fond of alcohol. He could drink it, ceremoniously. However, he viewed it as a beverage with no positive attributes. It only dulled the mind and senses. He had never in his life been drunk. Such a state was unbecoming of the Head of the Kuchiki Clan, and he would NEVER allow himself to be seen looking a drunken fool. Since he only ever drank if the occasion demanded it of him, he ( naturally ) had quite a low tolerance. It sounded to him like Kyōraku was attempting to coax him into drinking with him, throwing out a masked challenge. He had no intention of accepting. Though Byakuya was competitive by nature, there was no pride in winning a drinking competition, so why should he care?

[scnkei]

[ 1 / 1 was actually this blog's 4 year anniversary! I'm surprised to have kept a Bleach muse this long! ;O; And especially someone who is different from my normal preference for muses--- villains . I know I haven't been very active on here, but woah, I was moved to see how many people wanted to interact with me as soon as I reblogged a meme ; v ; ! Thank you all so much and I hope 2025 will be a good year for writing Byakuya! ]

[scnkei]

Rumour has it that you add chilli flakes to your tea. If so, I can share a recipe for chilli tea for your housekeeper.

"Rumor Has It..." meme ,,

❝ Adding chilli flakes it not something I have ever tried, no. ❞ Byakuya only ever drank green tea, specially grown on a plantation belonging to the Kuchiki Clan. It was the same tea that had been enjoyed for generations in his family, and it was said to be good for one's health. Byakuya didn't dislike it. It was quite bitter ( and, of course, he drank it with no sugar ). It was clear that Kotetsu knew he was fond of spice. A fact that not many people knew. He was aware that people saw him as someone who had no emotions, and thus no preferences for what he liked to eat or drink.

He'd actually quite like to try adding chilli flakes to his tea.

❝ I will send someone over to have the recipe collected. ❞

[scnkei]

"Rumor Has It..." You have a secret tea stash..

"Rumor Has It..." meme ,,

❝ It is no secret. My servants are capable of storing tea without my assistance. ❞ It was not a complete lie that the "stash" was secret - because Byakuya would have NO idea where to find the tea, had he been tasked with recovering it from his estate. He didn't think he had ever even been to the kitchens after becoming an adult. There would be a... Pantry, he supposed? Perhaps shelves, neatly organized. Byakuya's diet was strictly controlled, and he only had a handful of dishes that he ate ( though they changed seasonally ). He only drank green tea.

[scnkei]

[[rumour has it you're more like senbonzakura than you'd like to admit]]

"Rumor Has It..." meme ,,

❝ You are implying that there is something wrong with Senbonzakura. ❞ Tread lightly. One would NOT want to disrespect Byakuya's Zanpakuto. The nature of Byakuya's Zanpakuto Spirit was not well known ; naturally. He would never share something as personal as that with anyone. Senbonzakura was a part of him. Perhaps it was because Byakuya's soul was PURE, that he felt the connection so strongly. They had been together since he was just a teenager. He still remembered the euphoria that filled him when he first heard the masked samurai speak to him, telling him his name.

The two of them were different. Senbonzakura was more FREE. Or - as free as Byakuya allowed him to be ( and he had to admit, he gave him more leeway than he probably should ). In a way, Senbonzakura was STILL the Zanpakuto of a younger Byakuya. He had not changed as Byakuya grew older. Grew colder. Almost like he wanted to be an anchor. Not holding him down, but keeping him from drifting too far away.

Byakuya trusted Senbonzakura more than anyone. More than himself. More than even Renji.

[scnkei]

"Rumour has it.. yer gonna work less an' spend more time off with me when we're married." His grin is cheeky, saying this.

"Rumor Has It..." meme ,,

The grin gave it away. He'd learned this sort of tell-tale sign by now. In the past, he wouldn't have picked up on it. He would've told him that such a rumour was ridiculous and inappropriate and that his duties as captain came first. Now - he knew that Renji was simply flirting with him. That was what this was, wasn't it?

❝ I do believe I'm looking at the source of these rumours. ❞ He said, but not coldly. He knew Renji would read the fondness in his voice that would've been there, had Byakuya's voice been capable of portraying something like that.

WOULD he work less and spend more time with Renji? No, of course not. Would he like to? Perhaps. ❝ You have a strange view on married life. ❞ He still spoke fondly. His feet shifted so that he was standing a tiny bit closer to Renji. Byakuya was always oh so subtle in his signs of affection. Wanting to be closer to him and not being able to help himself. ❝ I would've thought you'd be more eager to set a date in that case. ❞

[scnkei]

Rumour has it that all yer clothes and accessories are custom made— and exclusively for the Kuchiki.

"Rumor Has It..." meme ,,

❝ How else would I acquire clothes? ❞ ALL his clothes, including his uniform - were indeed tailored to him. How else would they fit him perfectly? His build was almost always the same - he maintained a steady weight and his body-fat percentage was glued to him, so he didn't often have to take his measurements. There were rules regarding his uniform, and though it was made of the most expensive fabric allowed, it was still cheap. It was nowhere near the quality of clothes Byakuya would've worn, had the Gotei 13 not set rules for how a captain should dress.

His accessories were not custom made. They were heirlooms. Handed down through the generation. Meant to always adorn the Head of the Kuchiki Clan. Byakuya wore his accessories with great pride.

[scnkei]

[[rumour has it you are no longer wanting to marry Renji????]]

"Rumor Has It..." meme ,,

❝ The only source of correct information about my relation to Renji is ME. ❞ It was not surprising that there would be a lot of rumours surrounding their relationship. Byakuya couldn't stop said rumours from existing ( as much as he would like to ) - but he COULD prevent them from being expressed. It was well known that he absolutely did not tolerate gossip within his division. It was nobody's place to speculate about him and his feelings - or Renji's. Of course people were curious. But, they should keep to the official narrative, that came from HIM. Had HE announced that he wasn't going to marry Renji? No. Then no such rumour should exist.

People should listen only to him. He would provide any necessary information ( which was incredibly limited ). His division members didn't need to know anything about him personally. All they needed to do was obey him, and portray themselves with the honour and dignity he DEMANDED of the Rokubantai.

Him NOT wanting to marry Renji?

Ridiculous.

He had not dishonoured himself before his family, and accepted the END of the Kuchiki bloodline only to turn around now.